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Anal Fingering – 6 Techniques To Introduce Your Partner To Anal Play

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Anal fingering can be a great way to introduce new sensations in your sexual repertoire. The anus is packed with tons of pleasurable nerve endings – but many of them receive pain as well. Anal fingering can be extremely pleasurable or painful, if you don’t do it right. Never tried it before? Here’s how.

Use Plenty Of Lube

You may already know this, but there’s no mistaking the importance that a good amount of lube does for anal sex or any kind of anal play – including fingering. Don’t try to use spit, saliva or oil as a lube – it’s just not going to work. Instead, make sure you have a bottle of water based or silicone based lubricant on hand before you ever get started.

A scented lube can work really well for anal fingering, because not only do they work well, but they smell great too. Your lover may be apprehensive that they will smell bad if you’re that close to their nether region, but if they’re showered first and if you use a scented lube, it most likely won’t be an issue at all.

Never use a desensitizing lube when engaging in anal play. While it may seem beneficial to make sure your lover can’t feel it as much, that means you can do more damage than you intended to and not have any clue that you’re doing it! Your lover will wake up in the morning sore or bleeding, and won’t ever want to try it again!

Start With One Finger

This may seem like a no-brainer, but many people get so excited to try anal fingering with their lover that they try to use more than one finger to start off with. This won’t work very well and may cause  intense pain or discomfort. It’s important to start with one finger (your pinky finger if your hands are extremely large and your fingers are thick) until your lover gets used to the sensation. Once your lover seems to be enjoying it and is well lubed up, you can work on introducing more fingers, one at a time.

Give Them Oral Sex First – And During

For your lover to enjoy the sensations you’re giving during anal fingering, they have to be really, really turned on first. Even with plenty of lube, you’re still going to have a difficult time inserting your finger if their anal muscles are tight and not relaxed. So spend some time getting them turned on first, through foreplay and oral sex. Oral sex is an excellent precursor to anal fingering, simply because it is such an erotic activity.

Lube your finger up and slip it slowly into your lover’s anus while you’re performing oral sex on them. They will be more apt to enjoy the feeling than shy away from it, simply because what you were doing before already felt so good!

Wear Gloves

Consider donning a latex or vinyl glove before anal play. It may make you feel a little awkward, but your lover will appreciate it. You may think you have your nails trimmed and your cuticles cut, but if your hands are at all callused – as in, if you do any work for a living at all – your fingers are going to hurt your lover. Ladies, acrylic nails can hurt a man when you’re trying to massage his prostate gland!

Invest in a good box of gloves and keep them around for using during anal fingering. Your fingers will go in much more smoothly, especially with enough lube on hand. Also, it will protect you from getting bacteria and solid waste under your fingernails! Just be aware that petroleum jelly or oil based products will break down condoms and latex gloves!

Go Slow!

When you’re first fingering your lover, don’t be tempted to go too fast. It’s easy to go fast when you’re excited, but you can really hurt your lover this way. Instead, take your time and go slow. Build up their pleasure with oral sex while you massage their anus. Even if you can only slowly get your finger in and out once, you’re doing good for your first time.

You may not even get to have a really amazing session the first time you try anal fingering with your lover – the first time may actually be just “trying” it. Your lover isn’t sure what to expect and they don’t know what it’s going to feel like. The first time might simply be them getting accustomed to what it’s like. The next few times you’ll notice your lover getting more and more into it, as they get used to how it feels and they learn how to get pleasure out of it.

Use A “Come Hither” Motion

Anal fingering is much the same as vaginal fingering. You want to slowly insert the finger, palm side up. Once you get into position, slowly move your finger in a “come hither” motion, as though you would if you were trying to stimulate the g-spot. This is pleasurable for a woman, and even more so for a man, because it stimulates the prostate gland.

Many people make the mistake of thinking anal fingering is pushing the finger in and out of the anus. This is not going to be pleasurable at all! In fact, insertion and pushing past the tight sphincter muscles is actually the most painful part and only when it’s over can the recipient actually begin to experience pleasure. If you’re just pushing your finger in and out, you’re just repeating the worst part of anal fingering over and over again.

Instead, use the come-hither motion to gently massage all the nerve endings on the inside of the anus, and to put pressure on the pelvic floor. Combined with a glove, patience and plenty of lube, you can get your lover to really enjoy anal fingering!

Q&A: Anal Sex – Will Lotion Work Instead Of Lube?

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Anal sex requires lube of some kind –  the anus doesn’t lubricate itself like a vagina does, so whether you’re having anal intercourse or masturbating with an anal sex toy, you have to use lubricant. But if you run out of it, can you use lotion instead?

Question: I am a guy and I often use Astroglide lubricant on my anal sex toy. However when I run out of Astroglide, I’m too lazy to go right to the store to buy more and instead use hand lotion (like Curel). Is this bad for my body?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edQpph-OvwU[/youtube]

What Isn’t Lube

While there are some things out there that aren’t designed for use during sex but will work in a pinch, they’re just not really lube and they don’t do a good job. While you may think that lotion or oil will be slick enough for sex or masturbation with sex toys, they almost never are. Here are a few things that aren’t a good lubricant:

Spit

Spit will work if you don’t have anything else on hand, but it dries out quickly. You often need copious amounts of saliva to make sex feel good at all. If you or your partner have a dry mouth, it may be difficult for you to produce enough saliva to lubricate yourself thoroughly.

Hand Lotion

This is very thick and only gets thicker and stickier as you use it. The limited amount of water in it evaporates very quickly, so you’re left with a thick, sticky mess. Also, fragrances and chemicals can be very irritating to the delicate tissues of both the penis and the vagina. It absorbs quickly, so you’re going to have to reapply frequently.

Baby Oil, Petroleum Based Products

Anything that is oil or is made with oil will break down a condom and also ruin any sex toys you have that are made from or with latex.

Why Lube Is So Important For Vaginal Intercourse

Sex is better when it’s wetter – there’s no doubt about that. If you can get a woman really, really wet, so much the better. If you want to make sure your partner is lubricated enough naturally, make sure you spend lots of time on foreplay. Don’t just rush to intercourse thinking it will feel as good for her as it will for you. Never underestimate the power of oral sex to help get a woman really wet before penetration!

However, vaginas don’t always lubricate themselves enough to make intercourse comfortable, especially if it lasts a while. Anal sex requires significantly more lubricant than traditional intercourse, since the anus does not produce any natural lubrication of its own.

Sex is not only more comfortable with lube, when you have more than enough of it, a woman can reach orgasm faster and easier than if things are too dry and there is too much friction.

Why It’s So Important For Anal Sex

Using lubrication during anal sex is an absolute necessity. Using enough lube during anal sex reduces the risk of the delicate anal tissues tearing. Lotion, spit or oils definitely won’t work for anal sex, and forgetting to use lubricant at all will either make anal sex impossible or cause more damage than you bargained for. Using it for anal sex will also help reduce the risk of extreme pain and discomfort, hemorrhoids, and irritation afterwards.

It’s really not worth it to try anal sex without lubricant or without the proper kind – you can end up being in immense pain (or causing your partner immense pain) and in worst case scenarios, you’ll have to seek professional medical attention. You’ll probably find that anal sex is downright impossible without at least some kind of lubricant.

What Is It Made Out Of?

Lubricant contains several ingredients, and can be both organic and non-organic – there are several different brands and formulas available on the market. It’s formulated to mimic natural body fluids as best as possible, last as long as possible and feel great during sexual intercourse. All formulas of lubricant are compatible with both vaginal intercourse and anal sex, and water based lube is also safe with condoms and all sex toys.

Most brands are inexpensive and can be purchased at your local pharmacy, drug store or supermarket. You can also shop for lubricant online and there are some really great deals out there, especially when you buy the larger bottles. For masturbation, sex and anal sex, you really want to keep enough of your favorite lubricant in stock all the time! Buy more before you run out!

3 Sex Tips For Men With A Big Penis

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A big penis doesn’t guarantee you’re a sex master. In fact, without good planning and techniques, you can actually hurt your partner with your big penis. Don’t assume that because you’ve got it going on down there that you’re going to be able to rock every woman’s world. Check out these great sex tips for guys who are exceptionally well endowed.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfogO3Hd2us[/youtube]

Focus On Foreplay

Foreplay is probably the number one thing that guys with a big penis forget about. A lot of well endowed men think that just because they are…well, well endowed that they can please their female partners with their penises alone. This couldn’t be farther from the truth! In fact, without enough foreplay to get a woman really wet and aroused, a big penis could definitely hurt her.

To accommodate a large penis, a woman has to be aroused and well lubricated. If she’s not aroused, she’s not only going to be somewhat dry down there, it’s also going to be more difficult for her to stretch to take in every inch of you. A woman’s vagina doubles in length when she is aroused, so it’s extremely important to use foreplay before intercourse to make sure she is ready to take you in.

Take Your Time Teasing Her

Don’t rush through foreplay. Take your time and go slow. Play with her – lick her clitoris or rub it gently with your thumb while kissing her deeply. Then back off and just kiss her neck or breasts. Have fun with it! The point is to get her really turned on and excited for what is to come. You want to get her to the point where she’s practically begging you to enter her – this way, she gasps at your penis size in pleasure, not in pain!

Also, remember to use lots and lots of good, water based lubricant. Even if you’ve gotten her so aroused that she’s practically dripping wet, you still want to make sure that you have lube on hand. If intercourse takes longer than expected or you just want to draw it out and enjoy yourself, things can get pretty dry down there, even if she was soaking wet to start with. Having lube on hand will keep things going smoothly for the duration.

Size Is Not Enough

Most men with a big penis think that they don’t need any technique – that their penis is long enough to reach her g-spot and all he has to do is stick it in. They think that sex tips and techniques are just for guys who don’t have large enough penises to pleasure their partners. This couldn’t be farther than the truth! Whether a man is big or small down there, he still needs to learn techniques to please a woman if he has any hope of giving her an orgasm at all.

Do some research of your own and read up on how women like to be touched. Learn where their hot spots are and how to stimulate them to bring her to climax. You may be able to do this with your penis, or you may want to give her an orgasm through oral sex and then get yours during the actual intercourse.

The point here is that what guys think is good for a woman is probably not even close to what she actually likes. It’s easy to make mistakes and turn a woman off completely – so don’t assume that just because you have a big penis that you have what it takes to make a woman’s wildest dreams come true. Take some time to learn exactly what to do and how to do it – then you’ll have her climbing the walls in ecstasy.

Communicate With Her

Another mistake that a lot of men make – whether they have a big penis or not – is that they fail to communicate with their partners or even pay attention to a woman’s non-verbal cues. They think they’re doing what she likes and keep doing it, all while ignoring her body language and vocal cues that tell you that what you’re doing just isn’t doing it for her.

Talk to your lover and ask her what she likes and what she doesn’t like. She may just be bold enough to tell you. If not, pay attention to her body language when you’re having sex with her. If your big penis is hurting her in any way, she’s likely going to be trying to shy or scoot away from you. If this happens, add lube and switch your technique. Experiment until you find things that work and remember that it’s all about having fun!

6 Ways To Make Male Masturbation Better Than Sex

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Male masturbation can be even better than sex if you do it right. Most guys just take a few minutes out of their day to polish one off, but if you embrace it and enjoy it rather than just try to get it over with, you can give yourself an orgasm that is out of this world. Here’s how to make male masturbation absolutely incredible!

Use Lube!

While male masturbation can be achieved without lube, it’s definitely not the best way to do it. Unfortunately, this is how most guys masturbate. Since they were young, they learned to do it quickly and without using any props that might possibly give them away or be difficult to hide if they got caught. It’s time to shed this learned behavior and start enjoying yourself!

Lube will intensify the sensations you experience during masturbation and make it feel more like sex. Without lube, there is a great deal more friction and the sensations aren’t as pleasurable. An uncircumcised male may notice this less than a circumcised male because they can glide their foreskin up and down the shaft of their penis. Some circumcised men do have enough skin left over after the surgery to do this to an extent, however, the skin is often stretched tight over a circumcised penis. A circumcised man will definitely want to use lube, since they can’t!

Try A Masturbation Sleeve

Male masturbation is easy with your hand, but it’s a lot better with a masturbation sleeve. A masturbation sleeve is a soft, jelly like sex toy that you slip over the penis and use as a “stroker.” They can be made out of a variety of materials, including silicone, Cyberskin and jelly materials, and many of them are textured to feel even better than a real vagina.

With a generous dollop of lube inside the sleeve, you can transform boring masturbation into something that feels totally different – and better – than anything you’ve ever felt before. Experiment with different types of masturbation sleeves to find the best fit for you.

Watch Porn – The Kind You REALLY Like

Almost all guys watch porn – that’s a given. However, there are many men who don’t watch the porn they really like. They may have a secret fetish that they’re embarrassed about, or they may get turned on by things that are considered shameful by many social circles. Therefore, these men don’t watch the porn that would really turn them on – instead, they watch something “conventional” that will get the job done, but nothing more.

If this is you, stop watching mediocre porn and find the stuff that really does it for you. Don’t be embarrassed to watch something that isn’t “traditional.” There are hundreds of different types of interests when it comes to the adult film industry, and you’re not alone. There are a lot of strange things out there, but if what gets you off doesn’t hurt anyone, there’s really nothing wrong with enjoying what you like. Since men are entirely visual creatures when it comes to sex, watching what really gets you hot has the power to increase your pleasure significantly.

Use A Warm Towel

Temperature has a lot to do with how good sex feels. For example, a real vagina is always warm and wet. So why not make male masturbation as warm and wet as you can? If you’ve got a bottle of lube handy, you’ve got the wet part covered. You can make it warm by throwing a damp towel in the microwave for a few seconds, but be careful not to get it too hot. It does, however, cool down quickly so it may take a few tries to get it just the right temperature.

Wrap the warm, damp towel around your penis (which, at this point, should have a lubed up masturbation sleeve on it) and then cover the damp towel with a dry one. You can also warm up the dry one in your clothes dryer if you like.

Go Slow And Take Your Time

For the same reason that men don’t often use lube during male masturbation, they also don’t take their time when they’re doing it. It’s just not how they learned to masturbate. They learned to do it quickly, before anyone could catch them. Make male masturbation feel more like real sex by planning to do it at a time when you are completely alone and you can lock your doors and turn off your phone.

Take your time to enjoy each phase of the process, from arousal to orgasm. Don’t rush through it – you’ll notice that the longer you spend pleasuring yourself, the better it will feel!

Let Your Orgasm Build

Don’t think that orgasm is where you need to be as soon as possible. When you’re having sex, you relish every feeling and sensation, making it last as long as you can. You also try your best to hold out on your own orgasm so your partner can have one or two of her own. Don’t think that this is something that you can only do during sex – you can also do it during male masturbation.

When you feel like you’re close to orgasm, back off a little. Stroke yourself in a different way or back off completely. Wait a few minutes before going back to it. This will not only train you to delay your orgasm so you can have more stamina during sex, it will also make masturbation absolutely explosive when you finally can’t hold out anymore!

5 Ways To Make Beach Sex Incredible!

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Beach sex is common during the summertime, and it can be a totally amazing experience. It can also be the pits – so here’s how to make it absolutely fantastic.

Put Down A Blanket (Or Utilize The Doggy Style Position)

The biggest caveat when it comes to beach sex is one thing and one thing only – sand! Getting sand in all the wrong places can really cramp your style and can actually make it impossible to get it on with your lover. If even a few grains of sand get on a man’s penis and up into a woman’s vagina, it can be excruciating to have intercourse. It can also be dangerous – the sand can cut the inside of the vaginal walls and provide a perfect climate for infections to set in.

The best way to prevent sand from getting into your nether regions during beach sex is to simply bring a blanket and put it down before you get busy. Yeah, yeah, it’s not as “au naturel” as feeling the sand beneath your feet, but without a blanket, you’re going to be feeling the sand in many more places than just your feet. If you can’t bring a blanket or forget one, doggy style is your next best bet. Doggy style keeps the important parts away from the sand.

Find A Private Spot

While there are lots of voyeurs out there that wouldn’t mind you getting busy right on the sand, you may want to find a private spot to have beach sex with your lover instead. There are lots of private areas around, such as behind large rock formations or a grove of palm trees. Some places also have secluded lagoon areas, which can be super romantic, especially at dusk.

If you neglect to find a private area to get it on with your partner, you will most definitely get caught, even if you’re somewhere that doesn’t object to nudity. Places that allow nudity don’t object to complete nakedness obviously, but they do object to beach sex! Also, there are often lots of children out and about, even if you go at a time when you think all the kiddies are in bed. Avoid areas with children at all costs, unless you want lots of angry parents reporting you to the police.

Bring Lube

Contrary to popular belief, water is not lube. Neither is saliva – which you’re probably going to have to use if you don’t bring a bottle of your favorite lube with you. If you think you’ll produce enough of your own natural lubrication, think again. The sand is hot and dry, and chances are you’re going to wish you had a dab or two once you get going.

If you’re having beach sex outside the water on the sand, a good water based lubricant will work well. However, if you’re actually planning on getting in the water or doing it in the surf, a water based lube may be too thin for you. In that case, a silicone lube will work better. It’s a little thicker and a little more water resistant than water based lube, so it takes a little extra work to get off. This will work to your advantage, however, because you don’t want all your lube to rinse off into the ocean! Keep your stuff nearby so you can reapply your lube when needed.

Get Busy In The Surf

If you’re totally alone where you are and don’t expect anyone busting you, try having sex in the surf! There are tons of benefits to doing it right at the edge of the water:

  • The sand there is smooth and wet, so it’s less likely to get in your nooks and crannies.
  • The waves crashing against you feel incredible against your skin
  • It’s incredibly romantic and sensual

Plan To Do It At Sunset

Sure, having beach sex at sunset seems cliche, but there’s a reason for it – it’s probably one of the most romantic ways you can get busy! It’s a breathtaking way to get in touch with nature and with yourselves. You’re surrounded by water and sand, the views are great and you’re enjoying everything with your partner.

When you’re having beach sex at sunset, take it slow. This is not the time for a quickie (unless you’re about to get caught) – instead, take the time to really savor your partner and savor your surroundings. Taking it all in and enjoying it will make the experience absolutely unforgettable for both you and your lover.