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How To Tell If Your Man Is Lying

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Relationship advice is important to have if you suspect your significant other isn’t being honest with you. Here’s how to know if they’re lying.

Something’s fishy, and not in good way. You think your partner isn’t being truthful, but you’re not sure, and you want to be. How do you tell if you guy is on the up and up or a dirty no good dog?

What She Said:

Guys get such a bad reputation for being liars and they fit the stereotype. Lots of men lie, but those same men are really terrible at it. If you are quick and pay attention, you can totally tell if your guy is lying to you. When you ask your guy a question and before he answers he hesitates, he’s probably lying.

That hesitation is him figuring out what the right thing is to say, instead of telling you the truth. Also when a guy is lying about something, he’ll put too much emphasis on what he says, and he’ll add too much detail. Lets say you asked him what he did last Saturday night. If he answers with lots of details, time, place, who he was with, what they drank/ate and he repeats his same story over and over again, there is a good chance he is lying. Guys are simple and not detailed like women, they can usually answer your questions in 3-4 words. Don’t believe me? Look at any text message you have gotten from a guy, I bet his responses to you are short and few words.

Now, if he is lying and trying to cover his tracks, he will have taken time to iron out details and make sure you know those details so it seems like it was the truth. So pay attention to him, not the details but in how many details he is giving you. That’s a sure sign that he is trying to save his ass. A man with nothing to hide will be able to simply answer your questions and move on to something else, like sports or beer.

What He Said:

My apologies to Ms. Johnny Cochran over there, but I think she’s on smack. You can’t automatically say that just because he gives you details he’s lying. Some people are detail oriented. Some aren’t. Some may be visual and can remember things well, others not so much. If the story is consistent, that’s probably a good thing. It’s when you ask the questions and the story changes or if he struggles to explain inconsistencies, that’s probably not good. Too many details can be a problem, that’s true. He probably won’t remember everything, you should probably hear “I don’t know” once or twice.

You, if you’re getting the truth, should hear direct answers, yes or no. If the conversation starts to sound like an oil executive testifying at a congressional hearing, then well, that’s not good. Also, demeanor and body language are important. Is he relaxed? Breathing heavily? Showing signs of confusion, frustration or fatigue?

He’s not going to like the whole interrogation thing, but if he’s anything other than relaxed and calm, you might feel your spidey sense tingling. Unless of course, he’s an actor, attorney, serial killer, used car salesman or elected official. Those people are trained liars and get off on doing so. You shouldn’t be having sex with them anyway. What is wrong with you woman? Seriously? Have you no taste? No sense of self worth? Why are you letting them pet the kitty? Aren’t there other people who aren’t professional douchebags who want to get naughty with you? Can’t you be attracted to them? No? You want guys who treat you like crap? Oh, okay. Who am I to judge?

Anyways…

You probably know your man pretty well. Or at least you should. So you should have a feel right away for whether or not he’s telling the truth. And at the end of the day, you don’t have to wonder about it. He will reveal himself. A persons actions do not lie, even though they may. Just wait, be patient. In time you will have the answers, whether you want them or not is another story.

Do you really want to know what he’s thinking or where he was last night? What will finding out do for you? It’s always good to make sure you really want to know. Sometimes when you find out that you would really rather not know. But you can’t go back once you do, so don’t ask unless it’s something you are prepared for. Sounds ominous, doesn’t it?

Top 5 Reasons To Cheat

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Cheating shouldn’t happen in a relationship, but it does. What are some of the motives behind infidelity?

What She Said:

  1. Alienation of affection. If my partner cut me off physically and emotionally, I’d start thinking about looking elsewhere.
  2. Unhealthy/dangerous habits. If my partner seriously got into drugs and was resisting all help, it would ultimately be a deal-breaker.
  3. If he cheated on me first, I just might “have to” retaliate!
  4. Meeting someone with whom I had crazy, undeniable chemistry.
  5. Midlife crisis!

Honestly, I had trouble coming up with five reasons why I would cheat. It’s not something I believe I would do – though each situation is unique, so no judgment if this is something you’ve chosen.

Cheating happens – there are a myriad of reasons why, as we’ve seen above. For myself, my choice would be to end my current relationship before embarking on something new – as much out of respect for my partner as for myself. Think about it: Would you want to be cheated on? Most likely the answer is “no” – so don’t put your partner in a situation you wouldn’t want to be in yourself, even if the love has faded.

Cheating is usually a sign that something is wrong with the relationship. Hello, obvious! Instead of heaping more drama on the problem (even if it feels good at the time), why not stop and attempt to fix what’s wrong? Your next lover should be willing to wait in the wings while you work on wrapping up your previous entanglement. A clean slate – what’s sexier than that?

What He Said:

  1. Chris Rock rule of LTRs: He said, “Show me the hottest girl on the planet, and I’ll show you a guy who’s tired of having sex with her.”  So you’re partner is great, but you just need some “strange ass.” Not better, or worse, just unfamiliar.
  2. You met your celebrity crush, and they are “good to go.” I don’t care how faithful a woman is, if she meets Brad Pitt or that dude from Twilight and he wants her, he’s going to have her. Plain and simple.
  3. Your partner ain’t handling their business any more. To quote the wise philosopher, Shaft “it’s my duty to please that booty.” If they are not meeting this requirement, you’re probably going to look for someone who will and you probably won’t feel too bad about it.
  4. You think you can get away with it. No, you KNOW you can get away with it. You’re in Vegas, or you’re away on business, on vacation, whatever. You know you will never come into contact with this person again, and even if they did, they can’t pin anything on you. They don’t know your cell number, name, etc. They can’t trace you. This sex act is like bigfoot: everyone knows it probably exists, but no credible evidence existing that can prove it.
  5. Cause you’re human. Monogamy is not natural. It’s not unrealistic, but it’s not how we were designed. You were designed to screw around and still have someone waiting for you at home. You feel entitled to do as nature intended you to.

Top 5 Reasons Not To Cheat

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Cheating is almost never a good idea – here are 5 great reasons to avoid cheating on your partner.

What She Said:

  1. I want to honor my vows. “For better or worse” is what I agreed to – and staying faithful means things will stay on “the better” end of the spectrum.
  2. The kids. I don’t have ‘em, but I know a lot of couples that choose to act on the up and up – for themselves as much as an example for their children.
  3. It should be number one, but my favorite reason is simple: love. My husband is my best friend; I’d never do anything to hurt him.
  4. The grass is not always greener! Sure, it’s nice to daydream about that hunk giving you the eye at the grocery store – but he probably isn’t any better than what you have at home. And at least you’ve got that one trained!
  5. Lying corrodes the soul. A good marriage is based on mutual admiration and respect, not deceit.

You don’t have to be married to honor vows. If you’ve agreed, as a couple, to be monogamous that’s enough to remove you from the market.

Monogamy Doesn’t Have To Be Boring

Monogamy doesn’t have to spell monotony. Bet you haven’t heard that one before, but it’s true! Think of ways to keep it hot with the one you’ve already got. Fantasizing is allowed – getting on with Brad Pitt in your mind can be satisfying and save your marriage. A win/win!

Trust & Intimacy Is Rewarding

Building intimacy in the long-term is a great challenge – and a great reward. It takes time to develop. Flirtation is fleeting, but a deep bond can last the rest of your life. Before you think about stepping out of your committed relationship, take a moment to think of the consequences. Trust can be a fragile thing, and once it’s broken it can be difficult to repair. Take stock of what you’ve got.

What He Said:

  1. It’s called technology. It will fuck you, and not in a fun way. Anything you do online is recorded, somewhere. It’s usually not an issue, but when infidelity happens, it’s easier to prove and to nail your ass with.
  2. It’s called the Internet. If you cheat and you piss off your significant other, they can and often will smear your ass all over the Internet. That means any sexy videos or photos you’ve taken, any naughty text messages, anything that can make you look bad to a perspective employer will be put online and will be easily found by perspective employers (who are looking for that kind of thing. Perverts).
  3. The juice is almost always not worth the squeeze. Assuming that you cheat with someone and that sex is the greatest sex ever had in human history, it will still not be worth the hell your fidelity will put all parties through. Your other half is going to rip you a new one, over the course of several years, and then the legal system will reopen those still healing wounds and rip an additional one into the one he/she just ripped into you. It’s not worth it, even if you have some crazy, Justin Timberlake on tour sex.
  4. The Chris Rock rule. Many people violate, what I call “The Chris Rock Rule of Infidelity” which states: the person you cheat on your partner with must be as hot or hotter than your partner. If you bang someone way hotter than your partner, well, at least they can understand on some level. You had a chance with someone way out of your league and you took it. They will be hurt, but they won’t be mad. If you just bang some skank who happens to be willing to do things your partner won’t, well, that’s your ass. She will be way pissed because you banged someone lower on the quality scale than you have waiting for you at home. If you do this, you are an idiot.
  5. Fantasy is not usually the reality. Say you’re a 40 something guy and some hot 19 year old is all up on you and wants it. Bad. Do you really think it will be as good as you imagine? Sure, she’s hot and young, but she’s also young and crazy. She’s going to go apeshit when it’s just sex for you, and even if she doesn’t, it probably won’t live up to your fantasy. How Could it?

How To Reveal A Deep, Dark Secret To Your Partner

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A relationship involves honesty and trust – so what do you do if you have a secret that you should share with your S.O.? We all have secrets, some of which are significantly less pleasant than others. Maintaining trust and honesty is probably the best relationship advice you’ll ever get. As a result, there may come a time wherein you have to come clean about a dark secret or two to your S.O.

It won’t be an easy thing to do, and you may be tempted to chicken out. That’s when you have to remember that your significant other will be far angrier about your secret if they find out about it from someone other than you. What many people fail to understand is that the act of hiding something is often as bad (or worse!) than the very thing you’re hiding. Keep that in mind and you’ll realize that you have to move forward with talking about your secret, no matter how difficult it will seem.

How To Make It Less Painful

There are, however, ways to make your big revelation less painful. First and foremost, never tell a dark secret in the heat of the moment. The time to tell your girlfriend that you have herpes isn’t in the middle of a hot and heavy make-out session. You need to tell her well before it gets to that point, and you need to do it in a manner that befits the gravity of your news. Wait until you’re in private and let her know that you need to talk to her about something.

Then tell her the bad news and provide her with as much information as you possibly can. In the case of the STD revelation, be certain to fill her in on all the precautions you can take together, on any testing she might need to get (which you should offer to pay for), etc. She will likely be upset, but your diligence will show her that you will do everything you can to make the situation right. Be understanding if she’s freaked out and needs a breather.

Sooner Is Better Than Later

Getting the secret out sooner rather than later is generally a good bit of relationship advice. The longer it festers before you bring it to light, the angrier your girlfriend will be. Let’s say that your credit is less than desirable. Your boyfriend has proposed to you and you’re having a discussion about all the things you’ll need to do surrounding your impending marriage. Instead of waiting to talk about your poor credit score until after your wedding, bring it up now.

When he brings up the question of whether or not you should combine your finances, be honest about your debt. Tell him you want to work together with him to figure out the best solution possible. No one enjoys discussing financial problems with their significant other, but it’s an important talk to have. You could keep it a secret now, only to have it bite you in the rear later when you try to apply for a home loan together. When your spouse finds out you hid it from him for all that time, he’ll be far more upset with you.

Maintaining Control Over The Situation

Another reason that it’s important to tell your significant other your unpleasant secret as early as possible is that it gives you more control over how you break the news. It’s better to have a serious talk on a day when your lover is in a good mood than on one when they’re already upset about something else in their lives. If you have to come out with a secret at the last minute, you can’t control what kind of day your mate’s been having. You also might not have time to prepare appropriately before then.

That means that you won’t have any good news, like being able to list possible solutions, to talk about alongside the bad. Plus, the longer you put it off, the higher the chance that your lover will find out from someone else or through another channel, which just makes you look like a big, fat liar. Plan out how you’re going to do it and make sure you have as much control over the situation as possible. As a result, you’ll likely have an easier time with your discussion. Take this relationship advice and do anything you can to soften the blow for your significant other.

Am I Cheating? I Can’t Stop Fantasizing About Other Men!

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Am I cheating? I’ve been married for five years. I love my husband. He’s the only one for me. I’d never cheat, but lately I can’t stop fantasizing about sleeping with other men. How do I make it stop?

What She Said

I say relax and enjoy your dreams! Sounds like you’re in the throes of some healthy creative visualization. Let your head hit the pillow, close your eyes and enjoy the ride. (Pun intended.)

Fantasies Are Normal

There is no harm in fantasizing, even if you’re happy with your hubby. Getting turned on by something in your imagination doesn’t mean there’s anything awry with your attraction level towards your partner. I’m sure your husband is equally as happy with you; however that doesn’t mean he won’t sneak a peek at a hot woman with a great rack. Men are generally more in tune with visual cues for sex while woman tend to be in synch with their emotions. It sounds like your sex dreams might be a nice blend of both. You’re allowed to daydream about whoever you want, be it Brad Pitt or the cute checker at the supermarket.

Transferring Your Fantasies To Your Husband

I say you’re in safe territory, as long as you keep your dreams relegated to bedtime and don’t start any real life extramarital affairs. In fact, have fun with these cues your brain is sending you. Enjoy the fantasies and then act out what you experienced in dreamland the night before in real time with your husband. Odds are he won’t mind the experiment one bit!

What He Said

Wait, you’re banging the person you’re going to be banging for all eternity, and you’re fantasizing about banging other people? Wow. I’d better alert the media. In other news, water is wet!

Is Monogamy Natural?

Here’s the deal: a committed monogamous relationship can be the most rewarding experience you’ll ever have. It’s also 100% unnatural. We’re literally not designed to be monogamous. That doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Just that it’s not natural. You can get upset about that or you can simply deal with it and move on.

This means you’re not only going to get turned on by other people, but you both NEED to get turned on by other people in order for your relationship to survive.

It’s Normal To Get Sick Of Your Partner Sexually

I don’t care how much you love chocolate ice cream, if you eat it three times a day you’re getting sick of it at some point. So you might need to flirt with some vanilla, or show someone your rocky road. Everyone needs a little Neapolitan every once in a while, I don’t care who you are.

Sure, you could feel bad about it, but what good would that do? I personally prescribe regular doses of strip clubs (for him and for her – they have those. That’s what Vegas is for), erotica and whatever else it takes to get your engines going. Other people are probably going to be the fuel that runs your collective car, at least occasionally. Just enjoy it and don’t be so Republican about it.

Then again, some of the biggest freaks on the planet are Republican, so maybe you should be Republican about it. Just don’t be a repressed Republican.