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Avoid These 5 Marriage Proposal Mistakes That Leave Women Feeling Disappointed

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Did you know that a man once hospitalized his girlfriend trying to propose to her?

It’s true! He slipped the engagement ring into her shot glass and as they toasted to his speech, she swallowed it! Now, she survived, but they did need a trip to the emergency room.

In fact, it’s ‘embarrassing yet funny’ proposals like these that remind me of the 5 ways that guys totally DESTROY this precious moment for women by making horrendous mistakes. Please don’t make these mistakes…

1. CREATING A PUBLIC SPECTACLE

Whether it’s a party, family get-together or Yankee game, realize that you should never propose to your beloved if she wouldn’t feel comfortable with a public proposal.

Not only may it embarrass her, but she may feel pressured to say “Yes,” only to tell you the truth later. Bottom line, think about what sort of person your lady is: Is she shy, cautious or a little reserved? Then maybe a private proposal is the better way to go.

2. “OVER-DOING” THE PROPOSAL

Some men’s idea of an amazing proposal is slapping together all the “usual” romantic things into one big event and calling it a “marriage proposal.” Sadly, this couldn’t be further from the truth. For example: A man serves the candlelit dinner, presents her flowers, chocolates, a teddy bear and then proposes to her.

Yuck. I’m sorry, but if you believe your lady deserves the most magnificent experience of her life, then understand that normal “everyday romance” is only good for… everyday romance! ­ not a proposal. She’ll never admit it, but she’ll most likely be disappointed.

3. BEING UNPREPARED

You usually only get one shot at your proposal so you MUST get it right! No pressure :D. Always rehearse through the things that could go wrong, create backup plans and please make sure your proposal idea is safe! If you’re creating a more elaborate proposal, you’ll need extra caution.

Physically rehearse through the situations, discover what could go wrong and work out solutions around them. Get your friends together and brainstorm the sticky situations that could come up on the day. Of course, life is unpredictable and things may change but be prepared the best you can.

4. SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY

Hang on! You’re probably wondering, “How is spending TOO MUCH money on a proposal a problem?” Well it all depends. The problem with money is that it often becomes a substitute for creativity. As a result, you get a “nice” memorable proposal but nothing that’s “jaw-dropping!”

5. USING A “DONE TO DEATH” PROPOSAL IDEA

Now here’s the biggest mistake of them all. Yes, coming up with creative and original ideas to propose is tough, but it’s a must if you want your moment to be remembered and talked about for years to come!

Your proposal needs to be personalized to your girlfriend. What are her favorite hobbies, music and interests? These are the starting points to an incredible proposal that everyone will talk about for years.

While the Eiffel tower, hot air balloons and getting the waiter to bring out the ring on a platter are “okay” ideas, they’re not creative and original enough for the most important and memorable moment of both your lives.

Is The Marriage Brand Under Attack? Take The Poll!

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A recent study conducted by the Parents Television Council reveals American television depiction of marriage is getting the short end of the stick compared to sexual imagery describing the “joys” of extra-marital sex, BDSM, swinging, and the like.

Such references, according to PTC, outnumber marital sex 3:1.

So? What’s Wrong With That?

So why is a study like this rubbing me the wrong way? Because this study is nothing short of a scare tactic trying its best to get viewers ashamed of themselves from ever talking about any sexual issues couples, married or not, are talking about in the real world.

“Why do you want to go down this road? Come back to marital sex; come back to the traditional and the true.” I wish we all could but judging by the recent divorce rates, the number of struggling marriages nationwide, and the number of extra marital affairs in the news and in private the marriage brand is looking pretty worn and dusted instead of new and busted.

How Does Society Affect The Marriage Bed?

Again the age old question of does television affect society or is society affecting television comes into play. We see how today many couples and singles are talking about everything from sex toys to an occasional “booty call”. In suburbia, we see couples mowing their yard and taking their kids to soccer practices all the time.

However, these same couples are out at the strip clubs or “swapping” with their neighbors when the sun goes down. Also in suburbia, the drama of couples making up and breaking up happens much more frequently (and without a Hollywood script) than on Wisteria Drive among the ladies from Desperate Housewives.

Marriage Statistics

In putting this story together one study from 2005 (from the New York Times) finds 51% of women are living without a spouse, up from 35%. The 2005 study also found married couples becoming the minority instead of the majority.

For the PTC blaming television of the ill news about marriage is both asinine and thoughtless. Or, to put it in the popular vernacular, it’s sounds like a “you” problem not a “we” problem.

The idea of marriage not getting a fair shake on television is ludicrous! Marriage for years is portrayed as the “cure all” to all sexual issues and lustful intentions. Someone forgot to tell those proponents it shouldn’t be used as a stop gate to begin with.

To blame television as the “ill” maker of society has more to do with the lack of creativity on the part of television executives and in Hollywood (i.e.–reality television) cheapening the airwaves with fast food programming then families and couples going through the struggles and challenges of everyday life.

The Real Problem

I find fault on many levels, but I think my biggest issue lies with the PTC itself. Why on God’s green earth do we need a group like this? Here is the groups statement describing the groups purpose:

The Parents Television Council (PTC) the nation’s most influential advocacy organization protecting children against sex, violence, and profanity in entertainment with more than one million members and growing!

Protecting children against sex, violence and profanity on television?? What about taking the fight to society against violence in society and how it is glorified in movies and media. How about letting parents deal with profanity in their own way stressing to children how these words are poor choices and find better ways to express their frustration.

Instead of your group trying to find sexual issues on every channel why not talk to your neighbors about it or maybe urge Hollywood and the main stream media to stop with the drivel of reality television and actually put on shows with intelligence and depth instead of dumbing down the populace.

America Has Had Enough!

American society is fed up and tired of being force fed the joys of martial bliss; we’re tired of being told marriage is going to solve all our problems. Truth is we all have our issues regarding relationships/sexuality coming from many voices with most of it not true.

To be told marriage will magically change the way we look and feel is a bold face lie. Why don’t we level with couples, young and old, about marriage. “Look, if you are getting married hoping you do things the right way or change the way you act and behave I think you two may need to do some heavy duty counseling before taking the next step. Why not talk to each other and find out what makes each of you tick. Honest straight talk, not the B.S. you call lover’s chit chat.”

I also think groups like the PTC need to disband and find a new aim instead of trying to harp on a subject which has more to do about society in general than the screen facing families day and night. They might find we’ve been talking about sex toys, swinging, voyeurism and the like for years and it’s the critics, not television, that’s behind the times.

3 Simple Ways To Create the Perfect Marriage Proposal

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Did you know that the most memorable marriage proposals are also the most creative and unique?

Problem is, the more you want to blow her away, the more frustrated and stressed you become by trying to come up with an original idea!

Not to worry.

Here are 3 ways to get your creativity flowing and come up with your winning proposal idea:

1. FIND THE “PERSONAL” TOUCH

Aww… your girlfriend likes restaurants. Well guess what? So does everyone else!

You need to dig for those unique and special things about your girlfriend that stand out, and use them as your starting point for proposal inspiration. Nothing speaks louder than a proposal that says, “I love you and understand you deeply” at the same time.

If you’re stuck for ideas, grab a piece of paper and think back to all the memorable moments while you two were dating. What are her favorite things to do? What place does she hold dear to her heart?

If she grew up on the beach, maybe you could take her to a high cliff near a magnificent beach where she grew up, and arrange for her to see the words, “Kim, will you marry me?” written in giant letters on the sand down below as the sun sets.

As another example: I once knew a girl who was totally OBSESSED with Superman. So in this case, instead of parachuting into a party to propose, why not do it in a Superman costume?

See where I’m going here? Your first step to a perfect proposal is making a list of all the things that are special to your loved one and using them as inspiration for your proposal.

2. ASK HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Believe it or not, no matter how long you’ve been dating, you’ll almost always discover some new “little known facts” about your girlfriend by simply asking her family and close friends. While these hidden gems might not spark a proposal idea themselves, they’ll certainly guide you in the right direction and further inspire you.

3. FIND THE **WOW** FACTOR

Want to know if your proposal will be exceptional? Explain your proposal idea to a female friend and if she isn’t “mouth-hitting-the-floor-with-astonishment” surprised, go back to the drawing board!

I’m serious.

This is the most important moment in her life (and yours!) If the proposal stinks, what’s she going to think about the YEARS ahead?

Some people say that you should keep proposals “safe” or “simple” by doing something that everyone’s already done before, but considering 80% of women said their proposals were less romantic than they’d hoped for, isn’t that telling you something? While most men spend lots of money on the ring, they often lack originality, which leaves the woman feeling disappointed.

In conclusion, if your proposal doesn’t excite friends and family, it certainly won’t excite your wife-to-be.

I’ve Shown My Commitment to Him. Now Why Won’t He Propose?

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You’re in a committed relationship. You’ve shown your commitment to your partner in one way or the other, and now you’re ready for them to show theirs. Will they propose? When will you get the ring? How can you let your partner know that you’re ready to take the next step?

While approaching your partner and flat out telling them they need to propose is not necessarily a good idea, there are ways to communicate your emotional needs about commitment to your partner without putting the pressure on.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been with by BF for 2.5 years – both divorced with kids. I am moving an hour away from my work & family to be closer to him. Thing is, now that I have shown my commitment by buying a house and moving closer to him, I would like for him to show his and give me a ring.

We don’t intend to marry for several years yet but I would love that we are sharing with our children & families that we ‘intend’ to one day. I am taking a huge step and it would be a wonderful representation of his efforts if we could have that symbol. Marriage is not important to him as he feels committed without that.

How do I share that a ring is not just a material object to me, without pushing him away?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL3oY11Q0Bo[/youtube]

Why Are You Looking For A Ring?

Often, people will keep scores in their relationships. They may feel that because they did something for their partner, they’re owed something in return. Is this why you’re looking for a ring? You’ve proved your love and commitment, and now you feel it’s time for them to prove theirs. Is this healthy? Actually, it’s not.

Relationships aren’t about keeping score or proving anything. You’re with your partner because you love them and you do things for them because you love them. This is what makes a relationship beautifully dynamic! If you’re looking for a ring so your partner can “prove” their love to you, you might be looking for the wrong reasons.

This doesn’t mean you have to give up all hopes of getting a ring, however. For many people, rings are a symbol of commitment and they’re a wonderful way to share your love with each other.

Telling Your Partner What A Ring Means To You

If a ring would mean a lot to you emotionally, you’re certainly entitled to let your partner know how you feel. The important part of letting your partner know what’s going on in your mind is not to tell your partner that they “have” to give you a ring, or that they “should.”

Let your partner know what a ring symbolizes to you and how having one would make you feel. Keep the discussion about how you feel, and not what you expect. This will keep the conversation from going downhill and backfiring.

What If They’re Not Ready?

You may let your partner know that you’re ready to take the next step and that having a ring would mean a lot to you, only to have your partner let you know that they’re not ready. It might be an emotional blow, but if your partner isn’t ready, they’re just not ready. Don’t force your partner into engagement or marriage.

They should be able to take that step when they feel comfortable, not because you’ve forced them to. Accept that your partner isn’t ready for marriage or engagement and leave it alone. If you love each other and you’re committed to each other, you can wait it out until your partner is ready to make the next step.

Focus on your positive relationship and how much you and your partner love each other rather than focusing on what “isn’t” happening. Let your relationship take its natural course. Both you and your partner will be happier knowing that you gave your relationship time to grow and mature, and only when the time was right did you move on to the next step. Sometimes, things are worth waiting for!

Divorced After 23 Years – How Do I Move On?

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It’s difficult when any relationship ends, whether you’re the one who ends it or not.

It can be especially difficult if the relationship has lasted for several years, even twenty or more years. If you’re not the one who broke it off, being on the losing end of a break up or divorce can be a tough thing to handle.

How do you begin moving on? Where do you start?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

We have 2 kids and were married for 23 years and suddenly she asked me to leave and said it’s over. We’re now divorced and she’s dating again. Now she acts like she hates me.

All these questions torment me. I need answers. How do I move on when she won’t even talk to me?

— Youtube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsgC13nVftQ[/youtube]

The only thing you can control is yourself.

If your partner is the one who ended things with you, you probably feel rejected and out of control. You may want to find out why they left you or what went wrong. Your partner, however, may not be ready to give these answers to you and even more likely, they don’t know the answers either.

The truth is, you can’t control anyone but yourself. You can’t make your partner take you back, you can’t make them tell you why they left and you can’t make them act the way you want them to.

You can, however, control how you react to the situation. You can be petty and vindictive if you choose, but you can also be calm and forgiving too. Only you can choose how you act towards the situation. It will be more difficult to move on, however, if you choose to be vindictive or if you harbor ill feelings and anger towards your partner for ending things.

If you choose to take the higher road and work through your feelings of anger and ultimately let them go, it will be easier to move on.

Working through your anger.

After a relationship ends, it’s normal to go through the stages of grief. You lost something and someone that was dear to you and to the human psyche, it’s the same as if someone you loved passed away. You’re going to feel guilt, denial, anger and frustration. You’re going to be hurt and sad, and you’re even going to want to try to get back together with your partner.

The first step to moving on after a break up or a divorce is to realize that all the feelings you are having are normal. It may not help you feel any better right away, but telling yourself that “you shouldn’t feel this way” is not going to do you a bit of good.

When you’re feeling a particular feeling, let yourself feel it. Let yourself be angry and let yourself feel hurt. Then, let it go. Don’t harbor it. Don’t give those feelings a place to stay. Work through your anger and frustration rather than letting it consume you. In time, you’ll feel better about the end of the relationship and you’ll feel yourself start to move on. Don’t rush the process. It takes time.

The end of a relationship, especially a very long one, is tough for both parties involved. There may never be an answer as to what exactly happened to end the relationship because in almost all relationships, it’s more than a single thing. When you begin to focus on yourself and realize that you are in control of only you, you can start to let go of the hurt and anger and make room for a newer, happier state of being.