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Mutual Masturbation: How To Get Your Man To Try It

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Mutual masturbation can be super fun, but it can be difficult to get a guy into it. Of course, guys love watching a woman masturbate, but a surprising amount of guys are actually too shy to do the same in front of their girl. If you want to try mutual masturbation, here’s how you can get him interested.

Why Isn’t He Jumping At The Chance?

You’d think that the majority of guys would actually be jumping at the chance to not only watch their girl masturbate, but to masturbate with her. While some guys are confident enough to be able to do this, many of them aren’t. Why?

He’s Afraid Of You Seeing His Porn

A lot of guys are too shy to try mutual masturbation because they think they need porn to masturbate – and they’re afraid of you seeing it. Many men watch porn that they would never in a million years want their partners to see. Whether it’s fetish porn that he thinks his partner would be appalled by, or he just doesn’t want to hurt her feelings (because in most guys’ experiences, women are bothered by their men looking at porn). Either way, he may be too shy to try mutual masturbation simply because he doesn’t want to turn on his porn in front of you.

He’s Been Busted Too Many Times For Masturbation

Unfortunately, there are lots of women that think that if a guy is sexually satisfied in his relationship, that he won’t need to masturbate. This couldn’t be farther from the truth! It’s normal and healthy for a man to masturbate – and even watch porn – if he’s in a sexually satisfying relationship. In fact, it’s healthy for women too.

He may also feel shame over masturbation, especially if he grew up being taught that masturbation was wrong or sinful. Not that he doesn’t do it – he does. But he may do it quickly to “get it over with” and may not see it as something pleasurable or even enjoyable, just something that “has to be done.”

Make Him Feel Comfortable With It In General

If the idea of mutual masturbation seems to make him uncomfortable, it could be due to harbored feelings about masturbation. Encourage him to enjoy his self-love. Get him a masturbation sleeve as a gift, and make sure it’s in an easy to get to place with a bottle of lube. Leave him alone in the house for long enough periods of time that he can do it without fear of being interrupted. If you catch him, politely excuse yourself and allow him to continue if he wants.

Also, talk to him about it. Let him know that you do it, and don’t be afraid to let him catch you getting your self love on too. Don’t act ashamed about it and over time, he will learn not to be ashamed as well.

Try Watching Porn With Mutual Masturbation

While just watching you do yourself may be enough visual stimulation to get him off, watching a porn flick with him while you do might help him get even more into it. However, don’t suggest that he pick it out or that he use any of the videos or pictures that he does when he’s alone. Instead, choose a naughty film together. Select one neither of you have ever seen before, or select one and surprise him with it. Ask him if he’d like to watch it, or just put it on loud enough for him to hear it and see what happens!

Let Him Watch You First

Start by letting him watch you first, before you ask him to engage in mutual masturbation. Go slow at first, and give him time to ogle you and really get turned on. Let him watch you touch your clitoris, or use a sex toy on yourself to stimulate your g-spot. Show no inhibitions – spread your legs wide and let him see every bit of what you’re doing. Chances are, with a combination of sexy moves and confidence, he won’t be able to help but touch himself!

Give Him A Great Handjob And Encourage Him To Take Over

You can also nudge him towards mutual masturbation by giving him a great handjob. Make sure you have your sex toy nearby too, and settle in to give him a great handjob. Use lube and start slow, building speed until he’s incredibly turned on. When he’s closer to orgasm (but not too close), replace your hand with his and whisper to him that you’d like to see him do it himself. He’ll most likely happily oblige.

However, you can also get him close to orgasm and then stop, proceeding to touch yourself or use your sex toy. Chances are, he’s not going to be able to stop himself from masturbating while watching you!

Q&A: I Can Only Orgasm Through Anal Masturbation! Please Help!

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Anal sex can produce intense orgasms – there are tons of nerves back there that produce pleasurable sensations when stimulated. The prostate gland in particular will produce what some men say are the most intense orgasms a man can ever experience. Having a climax through anal sex can be a fun addition to regular orgasms, but what do you do if going through the back door is the only way you can get off?

Question: I have a very serious question. My friend can only come when he anally masturbates – he can no longer come just using his penis. Can you explain this?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93rHUp9WyKI[/youtube]

What Is An Anal Orgasm?

An orgasm through anal sex is due to stimulation of the prostate gland in men. It is possible for women to have an anal orgasm as well, but it is much more common in guys. When the prostate gland is stimulated through penetration of the anus, it can produce intense, deeply pleasurable sensations. Often, this will contribute to a powerful orgasm or cause one in and of itself. Usually, you have to stimulate the penis as well, but in some cases, an orgasm can happen through anal stimulation alone.

It’s Easy To Get Stuck In An “Orgasm Rut”

When you masturbate, it’s easy for both men and women to get stuck in an “orgasm rut.” In women, this is usually due to the use of a vibrator. A woman gets used to using a vibrator may have difficulty reaching climax during sex or fingering, and a man who almost always uses anal stimulation to get himself off during masturbation may notice that he is unable to climax without it.

It’s easy to get yourself into a habit of masturbating a certain way, and it may seem impossible to break that habit. Anal orgasms in particular are very powerful, and you can definitely get “addicted” to the intense rush that an orgasm like that can give you. It may not feel as pleasurable to you to masturbate any other way.

Is The Situation Permanent?

It may be common for people to get stuck only being able to reach orgasm in one way, but does that mean that the situation will last forever? Will you ever be able to masturbate or have sex and reach climax again without anal stimulation?

Yes. It may be a difficult habit to break and it’s certainly not going to happen overnight – but it IS possible to train yourself to reach climax in other ways. You’re not going to be able to break the habit if you continue to use anal stimulation with masturbation – you actually have to give it up for awhile and re-teach yourself to climax through regular masturbation or sexual intercourse.

It is unlikely that you will be able to reach climax on the first try if you’re not using anal sex toys. You may, but give yourself plenty of time to get warmed up and tease yourself. Set aside a good chunk of time, lock the doors and turn off your phone. Resist the temptation to just do it the same way you did before – find new ways to pleasure yourself. If you stick with it, you’ll eventually train yourself to be able to climax without anal penetration. Once you do that, you’ll find that you can reach climax both ways!

If You Just Can’t Do It

It’s unlikely that with time, dedication and persistence that you can train yourself to orgasm with many different forms of stimulation. However, if you try it and you just don’t have the patience to stick with it, relax. Just let it go and have fun with it! There’s nothing wrong with wanting or needing anal stimulation to reach climax. If it’s pleasurable and not hurting you or doing damage in any way, there’s really no reason to stress out about having to “quit.”

Sex and masturbation is all about having fun and giving yourself pleasure. Many people, especially men, may not want to admit that they masturbate anally. They may want to try to find other ways to reach climax because they feel embarrassed about wanting or needing to masturbate with anal sex toys. There’s no reason to feel ashamed about it – everyone likes different things during sex and no two people’s sexual preferences are exactly the same. If you just can’t seem to do without it, don’t stress over it. Relax, have fun and enjoy your orgasm!

Q&A: Fingering – What To Do When It Hurts

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Fingering should be pleasurable, not painful! There are lots of things that can cause a woman to feel pain when she’s being fingered, either during masturbation or as part of foreplay with her partner. Here’s what to do when fingering hurts!

Question: Hi Dan and Jennifer – I have a problem! Each time I put my finger into my girlfriend’s vagina, she says that it hurts – but it is only one finger and I want to give her a vaginal orgasm! All along I have been giving her a clitoral orgasm. I have my fingernails cut properly and I think one time I accidentally cut her vaginal wall to a point where it bled a little…does that affect anything? I really need help because I want her to feel good!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Olk5aB33P0&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

Common Reasons Fingering Can Hurt

There are many reasons that fingering can hurt – and it may be just one reason, or it may be many factors that contribute to pain during this activity.

Lack Of Proper Lubrication

The most common reason that fingering is uncomfortable or painful for a woman is if she’s not lubricated enough down there. Many people assume that if she’s turned on, she’ll be wet enough down there, while other people assume that spit is a good enough lube. If you really want to avoid pain during this activity, you’re going to want to use a good, water based lubricant and plenty of it. The more, the better!

If she’s not lubed up enough before you insert your finger into her vagina, it can be difficult for it to go in, and it can cause a lot of friction against the walls of her vagina. The vaginal tissues are very delicate and can tear or bleed if there’s too much friction without enough lubrication. Lube is inexpensive and can be purchased almost anywhere. There’s no reason not to use it!

Fingernails

If your fingernails aren’t cut or trimmed down well enough, or if you have hangnails, these can cut or tear the vaginal tissues inside. This is painful and may even cause bleeding! Take the time to trim your fingernails and cuticles, or if you don’t know how to do it yourself, man up and go get a manicure! Another option, especially for men who work with their hands and have rough calluses on their fingers, try wearing a condom or latex or vinyl glove when you finger your partner. This makes it go in and out smoothly, and you’re guaranteed not to hurt her.

Yeast Or Bacterial Infections

A lot of people don’t want to think about it, but a woman who experiences pain during fingering or intercourse may have a bacterial or yeast infection. Yeast and bacterial infections are common, and it simply happens when either the pH level in the vagina is out of whack or bacteria is introduced. In fact, you may have given her a bacterial infection if there was dirt and bacteria under your nails the last time you put your fingers in her vagina!

Chemicals On The Skin

It is so, so, so important to wash your hands before touching your partner’s vagina! Even if you’re only touching the clitoris or the labia – make sure your hands are clean first! Chemicals or substances on the hands can cause pain during fingering, especially if you’ve just dug into a basket of hot wings. Don’t assume that just because your hands look clean that they are – wash up with soap and hot water and your lady will thank you tremendously!

She May Not Be Aroused Enough

A woman has to be fully aroused before any down-there action can feel good. If you try fingering before she’s ready, she’s going to tighten her muscles and she’s not going to be relaxed enough for you to get your finger all the way inside. Coupled with not being lubed up enough, this scenario can be disastrous! Spend some time kissing her and engaging in foreplay before you actually make the move to start fingering her. Making sure that she’s aroused and practically begging you to do it will keep it from hurting her as much.

Using Too Many Fingers Too Fast

A lot of guys think that they can start fingering their partner with three fingers – and this is not the case! Starting with too many fingers or pushing too hard or too fast before she’s really ready for that level of action can cause extreme discomfort and pain. Start with one finger and work your way up as she gets more and more aroused.

How To Make Fingering More Pleasurable For Her

There are many ways to make sure that fingering is pleasurable for her. In fact, before you start trying to learn specific techniques to give her an orgasm, check out these basic tips to make sure you’re not hurting her.

  • Go slow and use lots of lube.
  • Start with one finger at a time and slowly work your way up to more if she seems into it.
  • Pay attention to her cues – she will let you know if it’s uncomfortable or not with her body language.
  • Can she finger herself without pain? If not, the issue may be bigger than you.
  • Try fingering in combination with oral sex. Start by licking her clitoris and when she’s aroused, slowly begin to use your finger.

When To Get Her Checked Out

If fingering always hurts, lube stings and she’s not even able to finger herself, there may be something going on down there that needs a doctor’s diagnosis. Infections will cause almost anything to be painful down there, even urination. Communicate with her about what hurts and why it hurts, and if she needs to go to the doctor, offer to go with her without passing judgement. Eliminating all the possible causes of pain during fingering is the best way to get to the root of the problem – and get rid of it!

5 Tricks To Lasting All Night Long

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Premature ejaculation affects a lot of guys. Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar: you’re in bed with a girl, you’re both enjoying yourselves, and you’re about to wow her with your next move when wham! You finish early. Your girl smiles and mumbles something, and you feel like a sexual failure.

This scene is all too common, but it thankfully can be avoided next time with just a few tweaks. Use the following tips next time you feel the need to push off that inevitable moment, and last all night.

Distract Yourself

Forget the usual advice to “think about baseball.” Or Margaret Thatcher naked. You don’t want to be scared off sex forever! It may seem counter-intuitive, but the best thing to distract yourself with is how sex feels, looks, even smells and tastes.

Instead of mindlessly pumping away toward the Big O, pay attention to other things, like how soft your partner’s skin is, the curve of her neck, or the pain of her nails dragging down your back. Notice the smell of her skin and the wetness between her thighs. When you become mindful, you can last longer and enjoy the sexual experience more. What could be better than that?

Concentrate On Her Pleasure

Instead of focusing on yourself, make it all about her. Choose positions that feel best for her (trust me, she’ll let you know when you’ve hit the right spot). Pay attention to her body’s cues, and you won’t be so hung up on your own.

Women are all about foreplay, so if you can make the foreplay last a long time it won’t matter if you finish shortly after the actual sex starts because in her head it started long before the actual penetration. Once she’s had a few orgasms, keep going, and try to get a new personal “high score.” Remember, a high percentage of women are multi-orgasmic, so challenge yourself to give her more than last time! Making the experience better for her is going to not only improve your stamina but will also improve your sexual reputation.

Change Sex Positions

This is the single easiest thing you can do to avoid premature ejaculation. If you feel yourself getting a bit too heated in one position, move to a completely different one. If you are in doggy style, move to missionary. The trick is to really change it up-moving from one variation of doggie to another isn’t going to cut it. Be careful not to change sex positions too frequently, as it is going to take her out of the mood and feel more like a distraction than anything else.

Wear A Condom

First of all, you should be practicing safe sex anyway, and for most of you, that means wearing a condom. However, if you are in a long term relationship, or you’ve both been tested and she’s on the pill, condoms might not seem like a necessity. If you’re having trouble lasting, though, that little prophylactic can be a lifesaver. We all know that condoms can dull sensation? In this case, a little dulling is exactly what you need. There are plenty of good brands out there now that feel almost like you’re not wearing anything, except that little extra something can keep you lasting much longer.

Change Your Masturbation Habits

If I were to tell you to stop masturbating altogether, and you were to actually listen, your next sexual encounter would probably be record for shortest time between start and finish. I won’t tell you to stop the self-love! I will, however, let you in on a secret. When you are young and just discovering masturbation, you tend to do it fast and furiously, which made sense back then because you were trying not to get caught. Nowadays you hopefully have more leisure but probably still use the vice-grip, carpal-tunnel inducing, furious shake technique you used at 14. Stop it!

Use your self-love time to retrain your body to sustain an erection. Use the start-stop technique of backing off when you feel an orgasm coming on. Doing that a few times will not only train your penis to stay hard without cumming, it will also make the inevitable payoff mind-blowingly better than your normal orgasm.

This technique also translates well to the bedroom. Slow down every time you’re on the verge and by the time you do climax the release will be incredible.

Being an amazing lover isn’t all about lasting longer in bed, but using these tricks to make yourself last longer can have the effect of making you a better lover. With just a few simple tweaks to your technique, you can improve your stamina, keep going all night long, and make yourself seem like a sex god in her eyes. It’s a win-win for both of you.

Women’s Masturbation Secrets – REVEALED!

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I have some shocking news. Girls like to masturbate. Of course they do, masturbation is really fun! They masturbate far more than you give them credit for. In fact, for a shockingly large amount of women, that is the only way they can achieve orgasm. While you’re aimlessly poking around down below, she’s thinking, “Whatever, just fake it so he’ll stop. I can take care of myself later.” This is not because of your inadequacies as a lover, nor is it unfixable. It’s simply a lack of understanding how her body works.

Men and women experience sex in very differently. For men it’s relatively easy: see woman, want to have sex with woman, hopefully penis will touch woman. Obviously that is an oversimplification, but, compared to the woman’s experience, that’s all it is. If you develop a better understanding of how women satisfy themselves, perhaps it would seem less complicated.

She Creates A Mood

In order to achieve orgasm, a woman needs the right atmosphere. She doesn’t light candles and get out the satin sheets every time she masturbates; she just needs to feel comfortable. If not, she can’t concentrate on the task at hand, so to speak. If she is too cold or too exposed or too anything that distracts her pleasure, it’s not going to happen. That sounds daunting, but finding the right ambient balance isn’t too difficult if her mind is calm. Plus, extreme horniness will always overtake any environmental distractions.

She Sets A Pace

Regardless of the method, a woman fingers herself rhythmically. Meaning, there is an even flow of strokes and caresses, allowing her to concentrate on the sensations each touch gives. A choppy technique can be distraction. Whereas a man responds to physical stimulation alone, a woman puts herself into an almost meditative state. Otherwise, no amount of touching will induce orgasm. Again, this sounds quite complicated to men, but a woman does know how to adjust her focus in different situations.

She Has A Specific Technique

All women have that one sure-fire orgasm making technique. This is not to say that a woman has only one way of satisfying herself, but she does have a method that guarantees her orgasm. I know that you are hoping that I’m about to tell you what it is, but I’m not. It is as diverse as ladies themselves. Some women like direct manual stimulation of the head of the clitoris, but some ladies are far too sensitive and require indirect stimulation. There are even girls who can get off just by rubbing their inner thighs. Whatever her technique, find out what it is, and learn to employ it in given situations.

She Uses A Vibrator

Many girls start out using their fingers during masturbation, but it doesn’t take long for them to graduate to sex toys when they get older. Once a woman tries a vibrator, there’s often no going back – simply because a vibrator offers pleasure whenever she wants it and can make her orgasm fast and hard. Girls are busy ladies after all, and they don’t always have time to sit around and finger themselves for an hour until they reach climax. Instead, using a vibrator can help her get things done quickly, with just as much – if not more – pleasure than if she used her hands alone.

She Reads Erotic Novels

Men look at porn when they masturbate, but women don’t respond to visual stimuli the way men do. They prefer to use their imaginations to think about sex and different sexual scenarios that turn them on. Sometimes, women can do this on their own without any help at all, but other times, she may enjoy reading a romantic or erotic novel before she masturbates or while she’s doing it. Girls love using erotic novels for masturbation because it really gets their biggest sexual organ involved – their brain!

She Does It More Than Once

If a girl reaches orgasm through masturbation once, it’s likely that she’ll do it again a few times before she’s thoroughly finished. Many times, girls will experience their first round of multiple orgasms through masturbation, simply because they stop after the first orgasm but realize they don’t feel quite done yet. Unlike men, girls don’t go back down to an unaroused state after their first orgasm. Instead, they go back to the “plateau” phase – which comes after the foreplay phase but before the orgasmic phase. That makes it much easier for her to reach orgasm again after the first time!