online dating – Page 12

Online Dating – To Pay Or Not To Pay

In the past, online dating was seen as more “desperate” than traditional dating, but as more and more things are going online, the social stigma of online dating has all but disappeared. Now it’s more of a tool that you can use to meet people that have similar interests in your area.

There are both free sites and paid sites. The question is, which do you choose?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I just can’t seem to meet single women in Real World situations. I’ve tried to meet women on 100% free dating sites, followed the rules to the best of my abilities (being honest, having no pictures with girls in them, talk about specific hobbies and life goals, etc.), and still nothing.

My friends are bugging me to join a pay site like Match.com or eHarmony, but isn’t a PAY site just telling the world that I’m so desperate that I have to pay someone $30-$50 a month just for the POSSIBILITY of meeting women? What reason do I have to think that I’ll be anymore successful here than I was there? Are pay sites an insulting admission of desperation, or simply using another tool in the world of meeting women?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjFU5o6GUHQ[/youtube]

The Benefits Of Unpaid Online Dating Websites

Unpaid sites have their advantages namely you can meet people online for free. Your credit card never gets billed and you don’t have to risk paying for a service that might not ever be useful.

That is, you might never find anyone online that you’re compatible with. If you’re using a free online dating site, it’s more of a disappointment rather than a financial issue. But paid dating websites have many advantages as well. In fact, many of the popular paid online dating websites have benefits that far outweigh the drawbacks of paying for an online dating tool.

How Serious Are You?

Whether you want to pay for an online dating website service or not is up to you. You know your financial situation and you know if this is something you can commit to financially or not.

Think about this though. How serious are you about meeting someone online? If you’re simply doing it for fun or for friends and don’t mind if you never find anyone you’re compatible with, a free online dating website might be right up your alley.

However, if you’re more serious about finding someone you really enjoy spending time with and might end up being that really special someone, a paid online dating website is going to give you more of what you’re looking for.

Paying For a Membership Is a Big Commitment

Why is that? For starters, to fork over the bucks each month to belong to an online dating website service requires a pretty hefty level of commitment from you. You definitely want to make sure you’re serious about finding someone you really like if you’re going to pay each month for the possibility of meeting them.

The biggest benefit of belonging to a paid online dating website, however, is that everyone else who belongs to the website also forks over money each month for their membership. That means they’re serious about dating too.

So you know going into it that you’re going to meet people online that are just as committed to dating as you are, and that’s quite refreshing when you really think about it!

Online dating isn’t for everyone, but if you choose to belong to either a paid or unpaid online dating membership, don’t be afraid that you’re going to appear “desperate” or silly.

Online dating websites are excellent tools you can use to meet like minded people in your area that you probably wouldn’t have met otherwise! Just make sure that if you find someone you really like that you take that step forward and bring the relationship from an online introduction to a real life, real world relationship.

How Can I Tell If My Date Really Likes Me?

By loveandsex

Navigating the dating world can be difficult for both men and women. It’s hard to tell what your date’s motivations are and if they really like you or not.

Both men and women can also send mixed messages too, making it even harder for you to figure out what is going on. How can you tell if your date really likes you?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

How can I tell if she’s really into me?

–Jeff, North Carolina

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToRffXGLx7c[/youtube]

Dating vs. Friends

The first way to tell if your date really likes you is to look at the dating pattern. Are you going on dates with this person alone or are you going on dates with other friends as friends? If you’re going on dates with them alone, do you continue to go out on dates or call each other?

If the answer is that you are dating this person, as in going on dates alone with them and spending time with them, chances are they really do like you. Neither men nor women will continue to date someone and continue to spend time with someone if they’re not at least a little interested.

If you’re dating someone, you can assume they like you enough to give you more chances, and they probably like you a lot!

If you and your date are going out with other people, such as your friends, it can be a little more difficult to figure out if they like you or not.

Body Language

Another way to tell if your date really likes you is to pay attention to their body language. Do they move close to you when they talk to you? Do they touch your arm or your leg as they’re having a discussion with you? If your date seems really interested in you and really does like you, you’ll be able to tell by watching their body language.

Talk To Them

The surest way to find out if your date is really into you is to simply talk to them! You can have a conversation with them that doesn’t put pressure on them or makes them feel awkward. Just be honest.

Talk to them like you would and old friend and ask in a casual way if they’re interested in you and would like to continue dating. Be careful not to ask questions like, “Where do you see this going?” or open ended questions like, “How do you feel about me?”

Make it as easy as possible for them to answer you truthfully. Your best option is a question where they can give you a simple yes or no answer.

If your date does express interest in you, take it at face value! Don’t try to read too much into it. In the beginning of the dating process, your primary goal is to simply spend time with your date, getting to know them and letting them get to know you.

You have a right to enjoy yourself and have fun, and your date does too! Try to keep “relationship” questions out of the picture as much as possible when you’re first dating someone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t casually ask if they’re interested in you! Just make it brief and uninvolved.

Should A Hot Young Girl Meet Older Well Endowed Men Online?

By loveandsex

Online dating, or online introductions, really, opens you up to contact with people of all different shapes, sizes, ages and walks of life. You’ll meet different types of people that you probably would never have met otherwise, and exploring this can be really fun.

What should you do if you happen to find yourself interested in older men online? Should you respond?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am an 18-and-a-half year old female who is considering heightening my age limit for dating and having sex with men to 28 or 29. I am a very mature and intellectual person. I recently joined an online dating site and several very nice, well-educated and well-endowed men who are 10 years older than me have messaged me and I’m debating whether I should talk to them or not. Is a 10 year gap when you’re 18-and-a-half always something to avoid or can it be okay?

— Sarah in California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF9As1a2Ar8[/youtube]

The Age Gap

As long as you’re a legal adult, you’re definitely free to date anyone you choose that is, as long as they’re a legal adult as well. Beyond that, there’s really nothing keeping you from finding interest in older men online, or even in real life, except your own needs, wants and expectations.

That said, it’s important to explore how you feel about a huge age gap between someone you are interested in online. Does it make you uncomfortable in any way? Might it make the other person uncomfortable? Are you all for it, or do you have some reservations?

Actually sitting down and really thinking about the possibility of dating someone online and even having a real life relationship with someone a lot older than you can lend some insight into the situation. This isn’t a decision that you want to make quickly or lightly, but if it’s something you really want, go for it! Just make sure you’re really ready and you’ve thought everything through first.

Different Levels Of Maturity

Sure, many women are more mature than men at an earlier age. Who doesn’t know that? But something you definitely want to consider is how very different your life can be from a man that is a lot older than you.

For example, you might never have attended college, but your dating prospect might have been through college, graduated and is divorced with two kids. It’s important to consider what you are looking for when you’re introducing yourself to other people online.

What Are You Looking For?

Are you looking for a casual relationship only? Then dating a man that is divorced with two kids might not necessarily be an issue for you. If you’re looking for something long term, or want to consider the possibility of building a real relationship with someone, it’s definitely important to think about the differences you might have.

You may find that it’s hard to relate to older men, simply because your lives are so different at the particular age you are each at. Then again, you might find it easier to relate to them if you have been through some similar situations.

You will probably want to get to know them a little bit online before meeting them, just to find out if you really have any similar ground to stand on.

Simply put, you just need to think it through. Spend plenty of time thinking about what your wants and needs are when it comes to online dating and dating an older man, and spend plenty of time talking to your dating prospect online to get to know each other before you make a big leap into any kind of relationship.

As with anything, just make sure it’s something you really want and go from there.

Dating After 50 – Welcome to the 21st Century!

By elainewilliams

Following the death of my husband, there came a point in time where I decided to enter the dating world. My social life had been reduced to people I saw at work and my kids’ friends. Living in a small community combined with being self employed, I realized I was becoming a bit of a recluse.

I knew I had to make some changes in my life in an attempt to move forward and not remain stagnant. It was a bit daunting, being single and dating after having been married for twenty years.

Whoa! This is Dating Now!

The first thing I discovered was that dating had changed drastically from what I remembered. Everything associated with online dating, dating services and matchmaking services felt foreign.’ It left me feeling oddly out of place for a woman who had not participated in any type of dating for twenty-five years or more.

My initial thoughts were that it would be a relatively uncomplicated means to boost a sagging social life. Yes, I admit to being naïve.

The Online Dating Experience

I soon discovered that with online dating, “normal” took on a new definition. I was blithely unaware that some would view my boys, ages 12 to 21, as liabilities, even though I had no intention of searching for a new “father” for them.

In filling out dating profiles, I was scrupulously honest, however, I learned not everyone followed this rule. By now, I suspect you the reader may be wondering in what sandbox my head was buried all these years.

For some reason I attracted men who didn’t know or care anything about commitment, caring or long term relationships. The more I talked to other daters of various ages and sexual orientation, I was surprised to discover similar experiences across the board.

The New Dating Dilemma

I had to wonder how had dating become such a dilemma? Dating in the 21^st century seemed rather hit and miss. Many times it’s an opportunity to get what you can and move on. I hated feeling like I was at a smorgasbord and in danger of being passed over for a newer, tastier dish.

By the time most of us have reached fifty years of age, life’s experiences have wounded us in some way or another, which of course colors our thoughts, feelings and relationships. However, I was still a bit taken back to discover some “fifty-somethings” have let basic courtesy, caring and honesty skills fall by the wayside.

What I Know Now

I learned to steer clear of emotionally unavailable partners; men still “attached” to other women and men who dated but obviously preferred to remain loners. Many men were good men in their own right, but not right for me.

I began to ask myself, why be with someone who contributes nothing to my life? I deserved better.

My early dating experiences reinforced the notion that a relationship should begin as friends, letting a partner show true interest and caring before jumping into any intimacy.

It took several unhappy experiences before I realized being true to myself is my real power. After dating for two years, I made the decision not to date superficially, but find instead a man who will enhance my life as I will enhance his. Why should anyone settle for less?

Did You Know That 81% of People Lie in Their Online Dating Profiles?

By stuartmorris

For people who are either considering online dating or are already involved in online dating, lying is a big concern.

There are plenty of stories, each more frightening than the last, about first dates gone terribly wrong when the other person showed up and it was obvious that they had lied on their online profile about something really fundamental like their weight, height, or even age.

It’s an incredibly awkward situation to be in, and it rarely ends well.

Now, a research study has been done to find out just how many people are lying in their online dating profiles, and how big the lies are. Jeffery Hancock of Cornell University and his fellow researchers took 80 willing participants, 40 men and 40 women, from the New York area and compared their online dating profiles to their real life selves.

Specifically, they compared the 80 participants on height, weight, and age.

The Lying Masses

What Hancock found was that 81% of the 80 participants lied about at least one of the three things in their profile. Perhaps not surprising, women lied the most about weight by under stating it in their profiles, and men lied most about their height by over stating it in their profiles.

Yet despite such a high number of liars among us, the average lie was actually quite small:

Age – The average lie about age was only .44 years higher or lower than the real number, hardly a lie to be worried about
Height – The average lie about height was only .33 inches higher or lower than the real number. Again, not a big enough lie to really worry about it
Weight – The average lie about weight was 5.86 pounds higher or lower than the real number, which is not small, but not terribly large either

So while 81% of online daters may lie in their profiles, the lies are usually quite small. So small, in fact, that you would probably never even realize you had been lied to in the first place if you met the person in real life.

Most people realize that lying in their online profiles wont pan out in the long run, and any lie they do include is subtle enough that you’re probably not going to notice unless you bring a scale and a tape measure on your date.

A Few Bad Apples

The study found that there were a few people who ignored the obvious consequences and lied in a big way in their online profiles. He mentions that these people are probably where most horror stories about lying in online dating profiles originate. The biggest lie for:

Age was 3 years older and an astonishing 9 years younger than was listed on the online profile
Height was 3 inches taller and 1.75 inches shorter than was listed on the online profile
Weight was an amazing 35 pounds heavier and 20.4 pounds lighter than was listed on the online profile

The Biggies are Obvious

The lies about weight are particularly astounding. It would be immediately obvious to almost anyone that their date had lied about their weight if they showed up 35 pounds heavier than they claimed to be.

The Bottom Line

Yes, most people lie in their online dating profiles, but the lies are small, so small that you’ll never be able to pick out the liars from the from the ones who told the truth so it’s probably best not to worry about it. The few who do tell big lies will be immediately obvious if you ever meet them in person, and if nothing else, the experience will make for a good story to scare your friends with.