Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for online dating

Frustrated with Online Dating? Nobody Checkin’ You Out?

By

Are you sick and tired of nobody checking out your online dating profile? Feeling like it’s all a big scam? Is the joke on you?

You’re about to find out the one single biggest things that you can do to have good-looking singles begging to meet you…

If you want to meet someone online, there’s one thing that you’ll definitely want to do – post a good, recent, smiling photo of yourself. If you can post more than one, even better!

Why upload your photo?

A Picture Is Worth 1000 Emails. Statistics have consistently shown that profiles with photos get a minimum of 10 times more looks. Many (actually most) people only search for profiles with photos. (Admit it. You do it too.) That means that if you don’t have a photo, people are not going to look at your profile. You might as well delete it, close out you account on Match.com, and head to you favorite bar.

I understand that you may be a little afraid to post your picture on the internet , but it will be very difficult to meet anyone worthwhile online without one. Think about it…. Put yourself in someone else’s place. Would you contact someone without a photo? When you search, don’t you want to see people with pictures?

The old saying that a picture is worth a 1000 words still applies. Your age, height, and hobbies may sound cool, but is that enough to pay cold hard cash to contact you?

Even if someone does contact you, the first thing they’ll want to know is what you look like . Also, many people don’t really trust the internet and may feel that you’re hiding something if you don’t post a photo – like your spouse and kids. They may assume you’re cheating on your partner or even that you’re a criminal.

Your photo makes you ‘real’. It gives you an identity.

With online dating, your photo can create a spark or chemistry that mere words cannot. Remember, most dating sites charge money to communicate with someone, so making that step to contact you or to respond to your message involves a bit of commitment, and not having a picture is just one more reason not to do it.

Just like updating your profile frequently, posting a photo will often get you placed at the top of the search results – above members without photos .

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

One reason you might not post a photo is because you think you’re ugly, or fat, or unattractive in some way. First of all, you’re probably wrong. Don’t worry about how you look. You’ll have to show yourself eventually! Even the best looking people look ugly when they don’t smile. So smile! If you’re not conventionally attractive, a confident, genuine smile can only do you good.

There are lots of techniques to make sure your photo is the best it can be.

You can crop or otherwise enhance you photo to make sure that your best side shows through. Most digital cameras come with free software that will help you do basic photo editing. Even if you use a 35mm camera and take to the store for development, most film developers offer the option of a digital CD of your pictures.

Tips for Winning Photos

Use a recent photo . Even if you looked better when you were 20 pounds lighter and five years younger, the moment your date sees you in real life, they’ll realize that you have lied to them. Yes LIED! That’s how the other person will perceive it.

Use a good camera. Even though most cell phones these days take photos, they often turn out fuzzy or dim. If you don’t have a good camera, get creative. Ask a friend to take your picture or go to photographer and have a professional photo taken (Isn’t it worth it to invest in a professional photo if it brings you your dream partner?). Head shots are best – we want to see your face. Really!

Your picture should be fun, sexy, and interesting – not a mug shot and not pornographic either (unless you on an adult site, like AdultFriendFinder, that encourages that sort of photo). Many people, however, are turned off by overly sexy photos.

DON’T post a photo of you and your ex or a photo where your ex has been cut out or colored out. This implies that you have no pictures of yourself where there isn’t some other person attached to you. It also implies that people are disposable to you – not good!

Avoid posting photos with your kids. I know they’re important to you (I love mine unconditionally), but giving them too much prominence in your profile leads others to think you’re looking for a replacement dad or mom, rather than a partner for yourself. Mention them in the profile and then send pictures if your prospect expresses interest. Having said that, if you’re looking for a replacement mom or dad – be honest about that too and save yourself the grief and heartache later on.

Need A Professional Quality Digital Photo?

Here are two websites that will take your picture for you. I was amazed by what these guys can do and highly recommend them.

LookBetterOnline – Professional Internet Dating Photographers
DatingHeadshots – Internet Dating Headshots

Online Dating Question – How Can You Spot a Fake Online Profile?

By

The Question

How do you know that the profile is for real and not something made up to get you to join the online dating site? I would get lots of emails from a dating site so I would join it, and then the emails just stop. What’s up with that? – Anonymous

The Honest Answer

To avoid online dating scams, your best bet is to stick with the major online dating sites that have been around for a few years and have a large member base. They won’t admit it, but I have personally seen some of the smaller or more obscure dating sites ‘pad’ the website with fake profiles and even go so far as to send a message to their members from this ‘fake’ person in the hopes of generating more activity on the site.

The larger, more well known dating sites have no reason to do this and generally have employees whose job it is to monitor new accounts and weed out the spammers and the scammers. The larger sites also have a public image to protect, which works in your favor. If you suspect someone of being a spammer or scammer, make sure that you report them immediately to the website’s support team.

Why do the messages stop after you join?

There are all kinds of reasons that a real person may not answer your messages and many of them have nothing to do with you personally. Maybe they got really busy, left town on vacation, or decided that online dating is just not their thing. The important thing here is not to get discouraged. There are lots more fish in the sea.

I would recommend trying to send a few messages over the course of a few weeks before deciding to give up entirely. And then, if you still don’t here anything, move on.

There are situations where the person messaging you could be a scammer trying to contact you for whatever reason. Those accounts are often found and terminated quickly on the major dating sites. So by the time you respond, the account may have been deleted.

You might also get a wink from a girl who’s not actually a paying member of that site. If you join to message her she may not be able to respond unless she pays… and she may not be willing to do that. If she’s not willing to pay to talk to you, then she’s not worth your time anyway. Move on to the next cute girl on your list.

Red flags. How can you know the real people from the scammers?

“Red flags” are defined as those little things that you can look for in a person’s profile that indicate the profile may be fake. Although there is really no way to know for sure if a profile is real or fake, there are some red flags that you should watch out for.

Here are some examples of what I mean when I say “red flags”…

•  The person invites you to check him or her out at a different website. This could still be a real profile, but it could also be an invitation to sign up to a porn site.

•  If a woman you have never met, sends you a message that is extremely forward and flirty, she might just be a porn model or cam girl trying to lure you to her site, or a prostitute trying to get clients.

•  A really great looking guy or girl (we’re talking super model quality) sends you a message even though you haven’t even uploaded a photo or filled out your profile.

•  The grammar in the profile is of very poor quality and sounds foreign. There are a lot a spammers, often from Russia and Nigeria (and many other places), that specifically target dating sites and other social network sites, such as MySpace and Friendster.

•  If a person requests your personal information such as phone number, address, or any other type of personal or financial information, they may just be using the dating site to collect information to use for identity theft or some other fraudulent scam.

•  If for any reason, the person or the message seems ‘to good to be true’, this should urge you be careful.

I’m not saying that you should never respond to messages that meet these criteria, but if you do, proceed with caution!

You’ll be fine if you just use common sense. Remember, online or not, real world rules still apply.

Dating and Relationship Advice – Can You Use the Law of Attraction to Find True Love?

By

Have you ever noticed that when you start thinking about buying a new car, you start to see that car everywhere you go? This happens to all of us on both a very small and very large scale. For our purposes, we are talking about the very common idea that our “thoughts create our reality”.

Now, you may be thinking…

“Wait, this sounds really weird. I’ve never heard of this stuff before, so it must be bogus.” Hold that thought for just a minute… If you’re not already in the perfect relationship and your life isn’t already exactly as you want it to be, then keep reading. This very short article could just change your life for the better.

So what is the Law of Attraction? Simply put it is a Universal Law that says we will attract into our lives the things that we focus our attention on, whether it is positive or negative. Whether you are aware of it or not, every thought you have, every emotion you feel, everything you hear and read, affects your reality.

So what does that have to do with dating and relationships?

By truly understanding what you want from a relationship and applying some very basic Law of Attraction principles, you will ensure that you get what you truly desire. It is important to understand exactly what physical traits, behaviors, values, beliefs, and interests are important to you so that you can focus on what you want in your relationship instead of what you don’t want.

Remember, you will get what you focus on.

Many times, people will go from one failed relationship to another without giving any thought whatsoever to why or how their relationships keep failing. Even better, they over correct and end up in another relationship that fails for similar, yet opposite extreme reasons.

“If you’re like I was, you have no idea what you really want
from your next relationship – only it should be completely different from
the last one that failed so miserably!”

I certainly knew what I didn’t want – at least from the relationship that just ended. Wouldn’t it have been great if I would have taken the time to think about all of the failed relationships and combined all that heartache into one clear idea of what I did and did not want in a relationship? I could have saved myself a few swings of the pendulum.

How do I ‘Attract’ the perfect relationship for me?

I’m going to show you a real quick and simple way to Attract the exact person that you are looking for – Your dream date!

Take out a piece of paper and write down everything you want in your perfect relationship. What is he or she like? How do they look, smell, talk? What kinds of things will you do together? How do you feel when you’re around them? Really get into this and take the time to write down every detail. It’ll be well worth it in the end.

Most people never take this step of writing down what they want and yet it is the single most important step in finding the partner of their dreams.

“Do you know that by simply writing down what you want, you increase your chances of getting it by 80%!”

Just think about that for a minute…

Don’t doubt yourself. Assume that you are perfect in every way and there is nothing standing in your way of getting exactly what you want. Not money, or looks, or time, or anything else.

“Imagine… You can have anything that you want!”

When you have finished this exercise, you will be well ahead of the game. Take as long as you need… This is key to your ultimate success!

Be VERY clear in your mind about what you want. Otherwise, the Universe will have no idea what you really want – and that’s what it will give you. (Just a quick note, when I say ‘Universe’, I mean God, Buddha, Mother Earth, or whatever term you use for your universal higher power.)

Confused? Stay with me here… Imagine going to a restaurant and ordering a hamburger. The waiter turns in your order. Before your hamburger arrives, you change your order. Now you tell the waiter that you really want a steak. The waiter turns in your order. Before your steak arrives, you tell the waiter that you have changed your mind again and would like a salad. Now at this point, most waiters would tell you to make the salad yourself. The Universe will not do this, but can you see how it is very difficult for the Universe to give you exactly what you want when you don’t even know?

OK – finished?

If you didn’t do it – go back and do it. I said that this would be simple, but you still have to do a little of the work.

Now that you’re very clear about what you really desire in a partner, take that piece of paper, fold it up and carry it with you for at least a week. Carry it in your pocket, in your wallet or purse, or in your underwear. It doesn’t matter where you put it, as long as you keep it with you for at least a week. Every time you remember that you have this piece of paper with you, remember the feeling of what it will be like to be with your partner. Really feel it!

There’s one more very important step. During this week, make sure that you listen to your gut, or inner voice. If it tells you to stop at the dry cleaners on Tuesday when you normally go on Thursday, go on Tuesday! You may meet you soul mate while your standing in line. The point here is that you’ve placed your order with the Universe, now you need to pay attention to the signs that are being sent your way and ACT ON THEM!

That’s really all there is to this exercise. If you’re interested in learning more about the Law of Attraction and how it can change your life, here are some of my favorite books on the subject. Read them all – twice!

“Ask and It Is Given”, by Jerry and Ester Hicks
“The Power of Intention”, by Wayne Dyer
“The Attractor Factor”, by Joe Vitale

Online Dating – Why Almost All Men Blow It in the First E-mail

By

The EZ Guide 2 Online Dating experts help thousands of men avoid the relationship killers that almost all men make in that first email. With women out numbering men on most dating sites by at least 2 to 1, how is a guy supposed to get noticed?

(PRWEB via PR Web Direct) July 31, 2006 – The experts at EZ Guide 2 Online Dating help thousands of men avoid the instant relationship killers that almost all men make in that first email. They want to ask women, "What will make you read a guys message and not hit the delete key without even giving him a chance?"

Reports estimate that 50% of online singles have met less than two people in person as a result of online dating. Many men have never actually met a woman in person as a result of online dating.

"Fact #1: There are 16 million singles attempting to find their perfect match with online dating – 11 million of those are Men."

"Fact #2: A good looking female profile will get more than 100 winks and 50 messages in a single day."

What does this mean? It means that even the most awesome profile and the most intriguing message may never be read.

How is that possible? Simple… Women with good online profiles get tons of winks and messages every single day.

So, how is a guy supposed to get her to open and read his email and not hit the delete key? The experts behind the EZ Guide 2 Online Dating are offering a free online dating report to help men avoid the most common devastating email mistakes so that he can get out from behind the computer and actually real meet women in person. That is the end goal is it not?

But they are not stopping there…

They want to ask the millions of online women what they recommend. To all the ladies who are sick of getting lame emails from guys who obviously did not even read their profile, now is their chance to tell them all about it.

They are inviting all women to take the "How Do I Get You to Open My Email?" survey and tell the guys what they want to see in an email to keep them from hitting the delete key and actually give the poor guy a chance. The results will be published at the EZ Guide 2 Online Dating for everyone to see.

They encourage any adult over 21 to download this free report and take the "How Do I Get You to Open My Email" survey today. Respondents will be added to a special notification list alerting them when survey results are published.

The experts at the EZ Guide 2 Online Dating hope to help online singles actually meet real people with the answers to this survey – to help people communicate better and actually meet someone with Online Dating.

Download this press release as an Adobe PDF document.

For more information contact:
Claire Brent
http://onlinedating.ezguide2.com/
+40720770773

Online Dating Question – I’m a Good Catch. Are all the Women in My Area Stupid?

By

The Question

I need someone to help me try to stand out. There is no one around here that can help me. That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH! – Phil in Illinois

The Honest Answer

We’ll respond to the last part of Phil’s question first and then tell you a few quick tips to really make your online profile stand out from all the other guys on any dating site.

Part 1: “…That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH!”

When you’re trying to appeal to another person , i.e. to attract that really cute girl, take a look at yourself from her perspective, and figure out what would be attractive and what is important to her. Take the time to write down all of your best qualities “from her perspective”. At that point it’s about her, not about you.

Maybe you’re coming across as a little too strong (read: arrogant). Many women like subtle confidence but not arrogance. You need to be sure of yourself without offending her.

Focus on your best qualities in your headline and online profile details. Also – and this is VERY important – remember that every person is a unique individual, with distinct preferences and tastes. What is a “great catch” to one person could be a turn off to another person, and vice versa. Be careful of assuming that other people perceive things the same way you do – that’s rarely the case and will often get you into trouble, especially with women.

Part 2: “I need someone to help me try to stand out…”

Here are some simple things that you can do to REALLY stand out among all of the other men on any dating site.

Upload a Quality Photo

We will continue to hammer on this one until every guy out there gets it! Most men do not upload their photo and the fact is that profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without. And get this, profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more looks than profiles with poor photos.

The key word here is QUALITY PHOTO. That’s where most men who do upload a photo really mess up. They upload a poor grainy photo, or worse yet, they upload a photo with their ex-girlfriend scribbled out. If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile. This is the single biggest thing you can do to stand out!

Write a Catchy Headline

When it comes to writing an online profile, it is easy to make the mistake of not paying enough attention to your headline. Most people will click on a profile with a catchy headline just to see what the person has to say next.

The whole purpose of your headline is to get the other person to want to know more about you. Your headline should be something special about you, but still make them curious. You’re trying to get them to want to read more of your profile, so it helps to either ask a question that the reader might think will be answered in the profile, or try and establish a sense of mystery.

Have a well -written, intriguing profile

Writing about your self in paragraph form can be a very daunting task. What do I say? Where do I begin? Why are they making me do this? First, take a deep breath and relax. Taking the time to write a good profile will attract more compatible women to your profile and save you a lot of wasted time and energy in the end. There are some basic and simple rules that can make the process much easier.

Be yourself. Honesty is the Best Policy . Even though it may be tempting to fudge a little bit on your weight, your age, or your marital status, the best way to ensure that you will find the person that you are looking for is to BE HONEST!

Write like you speak. Be yourself. Sure, you’re trying to put your best foot forward, but you’re also trying to find someone who likes you for who you really are.

Target your market. Don’t talk “leather and whips” when your looking for true romance at eHarmony and in the same respect, don’t use words like “true love” when you are looking for a one-night stand at Adult Friend Finder.

Be specific. Avoid generalities. Use concrete examples from your life. Instead of saying “I like football,” you can say “I like watching the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night at my favorite sports bar. You can see how that says so much more about you. What things are most important to you in life? Is it health, career, family, fun, learning, religion, or personal development? The things you choose to prioritize say a lot about who you are; including them in your profile will attract the right type of woman to you and lead others away.

Don’t forget to spell check . Nothing is worse than reading a profile that starts with “maybe your the one for me” or something worse. (In case you didn’t catch that it should be ” you’re” instead of “your”.) Sure, we’re not all perfect, but that squiggly red line under half of your text is there for a reason.