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You are here: Home / Archives for oral sex

Blowjob Tips For Guys – Do You Put Your Hands On Her Head Or Not?

By loveandsex

Blowjob tips aren’t always for the ladies. Men – should you be putting your hands on your partner’s head while she’s going down on you or not?

Holding Her The Right Way

Believe it or not, this can be a big issue for both women and men when it comes to fellatio. It is important to discuss this aspect of fellatio with your partner before embarking on a fellatio session both partners will know what to expect. Remember guys, every woman is different and it is important to know what your partner prefers during fellatio – having hands on her neck while she is going down on you might make her uncomfortable and may even gag or choke her.

Make sure you know what she prefers and also keep in mind that her mood may change and one night she may be feeling particularly turned on and like the sensation of her face and mouth being guided or pushed down on your penis and another night she may be completely turned off or even repulsed by the idea.

Communicate Beforehand!

This is why it is so important to talk to your partner about this before each oral sex session! If talking about this particular aspect of fellatio before the session seems like a killjoy or ruins the spontaneity of fellatio, you and your partner may want to decide on some kind of hand signal or the like for your partner to let you know whether it is okay for your hands to be on her like that or if she dislikes the feeling at that particular moment.

A Secret “Signal”

One of the best blowjob tips to help you handle the “hands on the head” situation because a woman’s mood may change at any given moment during fellatio and if she is okay with your hands being on her neck at first but wants you to remove them later; she can do so without breaking her rhythm.

This is also great if a man begins to push her down on his penis a little too roughly – which can happen in the heat of the moment. A hand signal gives a woman the option to let her partner know if he is restricting her breathing, going too hard or gagging her. Many women will just take their partner’s hands off of them and some will even put them on if they are feeling that this would turn them on.

Similarly, a man may come up with his own hand signal or the like to let his partner know if he would like to do this. Something such as stroking her hair or neck may let her know that he is feeling like putting his hands on her head would turn him on at that particular moment. Just discuss what the “hand signal” will be before the fellatio session so that she will know what that particular movement means.

One of the most important blowjob tips is to never do anything you haven’t asked about beforehand. So this is almost like an unspoken question and your partner will appreciate you “asking” her if it is okay to do it. If the idea of a hand signal to let her know you’d like to put your hands on her head doesn’t do it for you, you can always just ask! No matter what you do, just go with the flow and make sure to communicate with your partner!

Why Some Women Don’t Want You To Control Their Movements

Well, as we said earlier, a man that puts his hands on a woman’s head and either unknowingly or knowingly pushes her down on his penis too hard or too roughly can easily cause a woman discomfort (both physically and emotionally) and even though you may like deep throating, this may gag or choke her or restrict her breathing.  Although this is one of the blowjob tips to avoid, it generally is not dangerous if this happens – a woman will usually just discontinue performing fellatio if she begins to gag, choke or feel uncomfortable but it is important that you preempt any discomfort she may or may not have by being careful when putting your hands on her head.

Disrupting The Rhythm

Many women do not like having a man’s hands on them like this during fellatio because it disrupts their “rhythm” or their “flow.”  They’ve read plenty of blowjob tips and can definitely get the job done and done well. A woman that is skilled in fellatio will most certainly develop her own way of doing things (somewhat like a routine) and will not appreciate you disrupting that! If this is the case, just sit back and enjoy the ride to orgasm – if she’s good enough not to need your hands on her head to guide her to please you, then you certainly are in for a treat! On the other hand, some women enjoy having a partner’s hands on her head – it may make her feel like his “guiding” her makes her efforts in pleasing him during fellatio more accurate. Either way, it is really up to the woman as to what she prefers while she is performing fellatio.

(For The Ladies) Why He Likes It

A man will often want to put his hands in a woman’s hair so that he can enjoy the feel of it’s softness and then pull it back a little so that he has the added visual stimulation of the best view of her lips wrapped around his penis, not just a mass of hair blocking his sight. Tussled hair is very sexy and being willing to let him get his hands wrapped up in it shows that little “naughty” side in the bedroom and your willingness to get wild with him when the two of you are alone.

Ladies, a clear way for you to let him know you want his hands on your head is for you to take his hands and put them there. He’ll appreciate the eagerness you are showing in letting him know it’s okay for him to engage his hands on your head and in your hair and be an even bigger part of the blowjob.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, fellatio, oral sex, oral sex positions, sex tips

Oral Sex – How To Make Showering Beforehand SEXY!

By loveandsex

Oral sex is incredible for you and your lover – she loves when you go down on her because not only does it feel great, but you’re also focusing solely on her sexual pleasure. You love bringing out her wild side and give her a leg shaking orgasm, but she but it’s much better if she’s clean and trimmed first. Here’s how you can make sure she’s fresh in a sexy way.

Although all women and their partners are different, there are a few things that you can both do to make oral sex more pleasurable for both the man and the woman. Some men prefer a woman’s vulva to have no hair and others prefer a bush – both are fine and we’ll go into more detail about pubic hair later in the book. But we can almost guarantee that everyone appreciates a good shower!

She’ll Probably Smell Fine

If you haven’t figured it out already, women are very sensitive about the natural smell of their vagina. This obsession probably started around the time that women as fifth graders were made to watch the “Mom, I don’t feel so fresh” video when learning about their coming menstrual cycles. Fortunately for you, most women who know they’re going to experience oral sex will make sure they are very clean first. You will probably not have to introduce the subject at all – it will most likely already be taken care of, out of the fear that her natural scent doesn’t smell all that great.

Women Do Have A Natural Smell

Of course, under normal circumstances, her down-there smell is usually just fine. Most women’s sensitivity and self-consciousness about her natural smell is largely unfounded. Some women, of course, have a stronger scent than others and if you’re new to oral sex, you may need to take some time to adjust to her natural scent. After some time after both you and your partner are more comfortable, she may not even need to shower first at all. This is entirely a personal choice. However, especially in the beginning, a shower first will ultimately make both you and her more comfortable and receptive to cunnilingus.

If A Bath Before Sex Is Necessary

There may be a time or two in which you don’t feel comfortable with her natural scent at that moment and wish your partner to shower first. She may be comfortable not showering. In this case, it is best that you approach the subject of showering delicately so as not to offend her. A suggestion for a shower for two (or sex in the shower) will almost always do the trick!

Keep in mind that you don’t want to ask outright, so you may want to say something like, “I would love to wash your hair in the shower to help you relax” or “Massaging my soapy hands into your breasts would really help turn me on…would you like to shower with me?” More than likely, your partner will happily oblige. You can even help turn her on and get her yearning for your mouth on her clitoris by erotically stroking it with a soapy hand. Get creative!

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: cunnilingus, oral sex, sex tips, shaving

Fellatio & STD’s – What You Need To Know

By loveandsex

Fellatio is less risky for STD’s than vaginal or anal sex, but is it completely risk free? Not hardly. Here’s what to watch for when giving a blowjob.

Monogamy Is Safer

It is important to note here that most monogamous couples need not worry too much about the health risks and sexually transmitted diseases that are related to fellatio. If you begin becoming sexually active (whether this includes intercourse or not is irrelevant) it is important that both partners are tested for sexually transmitted diseases. If both partners test negative and remain monogamous, unprotected fellatio can be considered a fairly safe activity. However, sexually transmitted diseases can be contracted through fellatio, so it is important to practice safer fellatio with a condom if you are sexually active with a partner that has not been tested for sexually transmitted diseases and/or is not monogamous. Non-monogamous partners should be tested for sexually transmitted diseases regularly.

Yes, The Risk Is Lower – But It’s Still Not Zero

Generally, the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease if you’re receiving fellatio is considered fairly low, however, unprotected fellatio (without a condom) can put the receiving partner at a low risk of Hepatitis B and C as well as HIV. The receiving partner may be at a higher risk of gonorrhea, syphilis, Chlamydia, genital herpes and genital warts and in some cases, pubic lice and scabies.

More Risk To The Giving Partner

The giving partner, however, is much more at risk than the receiving especially if she takes her partner’s ejaculate into her mouth. It is important to become familiar with the various types of sexually transmitted diseases that one can contract by giving or receiving fellatio as well as becoming familiar with the ways to have safer oral sex.

STD’s That Can Be Spread Through Fellatio

  • HIV and Hepatitis C – both of these sexually transmitted diseases are spread through blood to blood contact, although, HIV can also be found in other bodily fluids such as breast milk, vaginal secretions and most importantly, semen. In addition, due to eating, chewing gum, brushing their teeth and the like, many people have small cuts to the inside of their gums and cheeks that would make the perfect reception site for a particularly deadly strain of HIV or Hepatitis C. As for your partner, the chances of him contracting HIV or Hepatitis C from your mouth during fellatio is slim, but remember, if there are any abrasions in your mouth or any abrasions on his penis, that risk increases dramatically. You may not be able to see microscopic cuts or lacerations from brushing your teeth and you may not notice a tiny scrape or something similar on your partner’s penis – but HIV and Hepatitis C will notice! For the safety of both the giving and receiving partner – if you are unsure of the other’s STD status, practice safer oral sex!
  • Hepatitis A and B – these diseases are a little less serious than HIV and Hepatitis C, for the simple fact that both can be prevented with a vaccine and if contracted, can be treated with medication. However, care should still be taken when performing fellatio to avoid contracting these harmful sexually transmitted diseases. Hepatitis B is contracted through the same types of bodily fluids as HIV, such as vaginal fluids, semen, and breast milk. Hepatitis A can only be contracted through oral contact with feces, therefore should always be guarded against very carefully if you plan on coming into contact with your partner’s anus.
  • Genital and Oral Herpes – this is perhaps the most commonly spread sexually transmitted disease through oral to genital contact. That’s because there are two types of herpes – oral herpes and genital herpes. That does not, however, mean that oral herpes can only be spread by mouth to mouth contact and genital herpes can be spread by genital to genital contact. A person with an oral herpes outbreak can transmit the herpes virus from her mouth to her partner’s penis while performing fellatio and similarly, he can transmit genital herpes to her mouth in the same way. Although genital and oral herpes generally cannot be spread while there is no outbreak (that is, there are no pimples or pustules on the skin) that does not mean that this sexually transmitted disease should be taken less seriously if the infected partner does not have a breakout.
  • Genital Warts (Human Papillomavirus) – This particular sexually transmitted disease spreads the same way as genital herpes does and can even appear in the oral area, making it a highly contagious and serious disease when considering performing or receiving fellatio. Again, follow the same safer oral sex guidelines as genital and oral herpes – don’t perform or receive fellatio from a person showing symptoms of genital warts (small, white and cauliflower-like pustules). Bear in mind, however, that a person can carry the human papillomavirus without ever experiencing an outbreak of genital warts and as far as mucous-membrane contact is concerned, this person can still spread the disease.
  • Bacterial Infections (Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Syphilis) – although it is a fairly well known fact that if caught early enough, bacterial infections such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis can be treated and most likely cured with antibiotics, this is no reason to treat these sexually transmitted diseases less seriously than one would treat HIV or Hepatitis C. To be honest, the partner giving fellatio is more at risk for these bacterial sexually transmitted diseases because these diseases usually infect mucous membranes – meaning anywhere soft, dark and wet. Isn’t a mouth soft, dark and wet? Many of these sexually transmitted diseases bear no symptoms (especially Chlamydia) and if left untreated, they can become very serious and even deadly (in the case of syphilis). If you are performing fellatio on a partner who has not recently had an STD test or a non-monogamous partner, it is best to utilize safer oral sex practices.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, condoms, fellatio, oral sex, STDs

Cunnilingus Tongue Exercises That Will Make You AMAZING At Oral Sex!

By loveandsex

Cunnilingus isn’t something you’re born good at. Learn how to work your jaw so that when you go down on your partner, you’ll be GREAT at it!

Why Keeping Your Mouth In Shape Is Important

A common complaint from those who aren’t used to these techniques, or the time needed to get a woman to reach climax, is that their mouth or jaw gets tired after a few minutes of interaction. If you fear this issue, or if it’s been a problem in the past, here are some suggestions to get your tongue in tip-top shape.

Stretching

Take your tongue and stick it out as far as it will go. Wait for a few counts, then try stretching it out even further. The trick is to move it further without moving any part of your head or mouth. Next, touch your nose (or try to) with it, then stretch it towards one ear, then the other, and finally towards your chin. With each pass of this circle, try and extend it even further out. Start with one circle a day then slowly move your way up to five a day.

Darting

See how fast you can dart your tongue in and out of your mouth, trying for the longest extension possible. Do this ten times, in and out, in five seconds, and you’ll be an oral sex master. Then, try and do the same thing, but moving it from side to side. Four minutes of this exercise a day is more than enough, and something to work towards.

Slow Circles

Purse your lips closed and try to make your tongue as flat and wide as possible. Then, try and keep it in contact with the sides of your mouth at all times while moving it slowly in circles. Contrary to the last exercise, this is one of precision rather than speed. Five circles in each direction is an excellent start, with 50 as the ultimate goal.

Butterfly Moves

Take your tongue and make it flat; use a mirror if you need to. Then, take just the tip and curl it up, then down, without moving any other part of your tongue or mouth. Start really slowly to make sure you’ve got the movement down pat, then get faster and faster until your tongue resembles a butterfly flitting her wings. The first day aim for thirty seconds of this, moving your way up to five minutes straight. This is a maneuver you want to use on your partner’s clitoris!

Curling

If you can (not everyone is able to) curl your tongue so that the edges touch. Then stick your tongue out of your mouth while it’s still curled up in a ball. Do this back and forth ten times, getting up to fifty eventually.

Establishing A Rhythm

If tongue exercises aren’t your bag, then there’s another thing to try: think of giving head as a meditative state or a piece of rhythmic music. Find a rhythm that works for both you and your gal, and then do something to remind yourself of it. Maybe there’s a perfect song tempo that you can time yourself to (so make sure to have it playing in the background), or maybe it’s a rhyming device that works for you. No matter what it is, make sure that you commit your system to memory, so that when the time comes, you can repeat it over and over again until she reaches orgasm.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: clitoris, cunnilingus, oral sex, sex tips

Oral Sex Aphrodisiacs – How To Enhance The Experience!

By loveandsex

Oral sex can be incredible, but you can make it even more amazing by using aphrodisiacs. Here’s how to make oral sex even HOTTER.

Who wouldn’t want to heighten the experience of you or your partner during sex? That’s where aphrodisiacs come in. Not only do they tantalize the sense and bring passion to a whole new level, but also many of them are everyday items that are easily added to sex play or a meal before a big event so as not to be noticeable.

Many of the aphrodisiacs listed have been around for centuries; many people believe that they originally started with Greek mythology’s goddess of Love, Aphrodite, who bore Cupid as her son.

Origins Of Aphrodisiacs

It doesn’t take a much of a stretch of the imagination to understand why plants with heart shaped leaves were what ancient civilizations used to increase one’s sex drive or cure heart problems. Imagine how these people used foods that looked sexual in nature such as asparagus, oysters or juicy fruits as vitality and libido boosters, and spicy foods for increasing lustful thoughts.

While most sex researchers don’t agree on the actual aphrodisiac qualities for these types of foods, there is a placebo effect in play, where merely thinking that they will help will improve your lovemaking ability because truly good sex comes from as much the body as it does the mind.

The Proof Behind The Pudding

There are a few circumstances where myth and reality meet for aphrodisiacs, specifically with caffeinated foods and drinks. Cola, chocolate, tea and coffee all increase blood flow and in turn, one’s libido. Additionally, chocolate holds antidepressant qualities in the form of phenylalanine, which is sometimes referred to as the molecule of love.

Sexual Stimulants

While chocolate and caffeine are great stimulants, there are also some not so common aphrodisiacs that may greatly affect your randiness, such as:

  • Garlic: Great for getting the blood flowing, garlic is an excellent health tonic, but has to be taken in moderation as too much can do some harm, or may interact with other medications.
  • Fish: Fish such as salmon, mackerel, herring and halibut have been known to get things moving similarly to how garlic works. Fish oil is especially good for getting blood moving in the genital region, which can greatly boost a man’s ability to get an erection and a woman’s to get aroused.
  • Ginkgo: This is a relatively new comer to the list of aphrodisiacs. Ginkgo has been shown to increase blood flow to the penis and clitoris, as well as to the brain.
  • Ginseng: Korean researches claim this herb works wonders on the libido. Ginseng is mostly used to promote feelings of well-being.
  • Licorice: Researchers out of Chicago claim that the smell of licorice and fresh donuts create the most blood flow to the penis over any other scents. So next time you want a night in with your partner, try lighting some licorice scented candles or massage oil to heighten the mood.
  • Oysters: Oysters are high in zinc, which is crucial to maintaining sexual health. Therefore, if either of you suffer from a low sex drive, it is recommended to add zinc to your diet as a libido enhancer.
  • Oats: This is where the expression of sowing your wild oats comes from. Ranchers around the world swear that by feeding wild oats to their horses, it makes the horses much friskier and libidinous.
  • Maca: Found to be a sexual enhancer by people who lived in the Andes for centuries. Chinese researchers also agree with the claim after testing it on male rats. You can find Maca root at the health store in powdered or tablet form.
  • Wild Yam: Wild yam has been used for many years and regarded highly for gynecological ailments, such as vaginal dryness.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: cunnilingus, female orgasm, oral sex, orgasm

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