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Should You Have Sex Before Age 18?

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Teen sex is common these days – you see it on television and in movies, you hear about teenage celebrities getting busy and kids at school are trying it too. But is it right for YOU? Should you do it, or should you wait?

Legality

Let’s face it – it’s not legal for people to have sex if they’re under the age of eighteen. You can’t buy porn or sex toys if you’re underage either. While tons of underage boys and girls still do have sex before they’re eighteen and never get caught, it’s important to know the basics of when it is actually legal for you to engage in sexual activity.

That said, if you and your partner are both underage, it becomes less of a criminal issue and more of an issue with your parents. However, if you are underage and your partner is over the age of eighteen, or vice versa, you can get into a LOT more trouble. The older person may be charged criminally if it is ever reported that you are having sex with them, and they will be required to register as a sex offender after any jail time, probation or community service that is issued.

Being registered as a sex offender will haunt them for the rest of their lives and make it difficult for them to buy a home, have a job, have children and visit their children’s schools, and even impact their ability to vote. It’s not something that goes away after a few years – it’s a lifetime of being on a list with pedophiles and rapists. Think twice about having sex you or your partner are underage!

What Are You Waiting For?

If teen sex isn’t something you want to be involved in, think about the “why.” Are you waiting for marriage? Are you waiting until the age of eighteen to do it so you or your partner don’t get into trouble? Whatever your reason for waiting is, it’s a good reason – and it’s important that you fully understand the reason why you’re waiting so you can stay strong and continue to abstain.

If you’re not “waiting” but you just haven’t had sex yet, think about some of the reasons you should wait. Are you in a serious, committed relationship? If not, perhaps you should wait until you’re in love. Think about possibly getting yourself or your partner in legal trouble, or going against your personal beliefs. There are lots of good reasons to abstain and there are many of them that will apply to you and you alone. Perhaps you don’t want to abstain until marriage, but you just want to abstain until you’re older, smarter, more confident and ready. Every reason is a good one!

Considering Consequences

No one likes to think about the consequences of teen sex, but it’s a must if you’re considering losing your virginity. Having sex is an adult activity, and if you feel like you’re adult enough to handle it, then you’re definitely adult enough to think about the possible consequences beforehand. A lot of teenagers are afraid that if they think about the consequences of teen sex before they have it, they might talk themselves out of it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing!

If you’re sure you want to do it and “being talked out of it” isn’t something you feel will happen, considering the consequences will help you effectively plan for anything that might happen as a result of your decision. Think about the possibility of getting an STD – and all the different ways that they can be transmitted – and think about what you can do to reduce your risk as well as what you’ll do in the event that it does happen. Unwanted pregnancy is similar – before you have sex, think about how you can prevent an unwanted pregnancy and how you might deal with one should it actually happen.

Staying Safe

If you’ve thought long and hard and have decided that now is the right time to have sex, take the time to look into all safety options that you have available to you – and there are a LOT! Think about going to your doctor and getting on birth control. If you’re too young to go to the doctor by yourself and can’t tell your parents that you’ve made the decision to have sex and want to get on birth control, you don’t need to be having sex.

Also, think about using condoms and spermicide. Get flavored condoms and dental dams for oral sex. Talk to your doctor about other ways you can practice safe sex. Sex isn’t fun if all you’re worried about is getting pregnant or an STD. It’s also not fun if you’re worried about your partner going to jail.

If you can’t get it on with a clear conscience, try waiting until you can!

Q&A: She’s Pregnant By Another Man – But Wants To Be With Me!

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A pregnant girlfriend is one thing, but what about being with a girl who is pregnant by someone else? Are you supposed to be in a relationship with her and take care of the baby because no one else will, or can you decide that you’re not ready for this and move on? What do you do?

Question: First off, let me say I love you two! But I’m in a hard situation. A very good friend of mine is pregnant (by accident, old story of condom in the wallet) and she opened up to me and said she starting to love me and wished that the baby was mine! I’m not really sure how I feel about her. Any advice? And again I love you two, great advice!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37t8gSa_P1U[/youtube]

What Are You Okay With?

Before you think of how your friend will feel, or how the baby might feel, or how anyone else will, you need to think about how YOU feel about the situation. Take some time outside of the situation to mull it over and think about the different possibilities here and how they might affect your life or the way you live. What are you okay with? What are you willing to be okay with? Tell your friend you need some time out to think about the situation – you at least deserve that.

Do You Want To Take Care Of Her And The Baby?

When you sit down and really take stock of the situation and how you feel about it, there might be a feeling of guilt or responsibility to take care of your friend and the baby. This is going to be especially true if you have at least some romantic feelings towards her, or care about her and your friendship very deeply. Stop right there!

Remember that you didn’t get her pregnant and you’re not responsible for the situation at hand. Yes, you can decide that you want the responsibility and that’s great – but remember that you don’t have to. Don’t guilt yourself into taking care of her and the baby because you feel obligated to. That’s not going to end very well. Make sure that if you do end up getting into a relationship with your friend and being a father figure to the baby that it’s really something you want to do – not something that you feel like you have to do because no one else will.

What If You Don’t?

If you decide that you don’t want to be with a girl who is pregnant (or if you don’t want to be with her), and you don’t want to take care of a baby once it’s born, that’s completely your prerogative. Remember, you didn’t get her pregnant! Don’t let anyone pass judgement on you and certainly don’t feel like you have to pass judgement on yourself. This is totally your call, and it’s perfectly fine to decide that this isn’t where you want your life to go right now. You don’t owe her anything.

Be Honest With Her

It’s your right to decide to do whatever you want to do in this situation, but you do need to be honest with her and truthful about how you feel. Yes, you do need to be delicate here, but honesty is the most important thing. If you decide not to be with her, explain to her why you feel this way and make sure the conversation stays limited to how you feel.

If you stick to your feelings about the situation, she can’t argue with it. However, if you present an entire list of logical reasons as to why a relationship between the two of you couldn’t work, she can argue with it – and she can probably make some pretty valid points. Remember that the choice to be with her or not was based on your feelings (not logic), so your explanation should too.

Give It A Trial Run

If you’re not sure about it, why not give it a try? Try being in a relationship with this girl and seeing how it develops. Talk to her about your idea to try it out, and make sure that she knows you have the right to decide that it’s not for you at any point in time. This also gives her the opportunity to try out a relationship with you without the commitment to be with you for a certain period of time or even be with you when the baby arrives. Don’t think that if you try it now that you’re stuck forever. Let it play out and see what happens!

He Wants Kids And She Doesn’t – Now What?

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A relationship comes with lots of big decisions – one of which is whether to have kids. What do you and your partner do when you disagree about children, and what do you do if you and your partner once agreed about having kids but now disagree?

My hubby and I always wanted to have kids. We waited till we were financially “ready” and now that we’re “ready” I’ve decided I don’t want them anymore. How do I bring this up to him?

What She Said

Let me state the obvious – deciding whether or not to have children is one of the most colossal decisions you’ll ever make. Yep, that’s why they pay me the big bucks!

Wants And Needs Change Throughout Life

Let’s first examine why you’ve changed your mind. I want to applaud you for realizing this avenue may not be for you. Though we’re of a different generation, there’s still a lot of pressure for women in a marriage to have kids, whether it be from family or society. It takes courage to acknowledge that you may want to do something else.

Only you know why you’ve changed your mind – I can’t even begin to guess the myriad of reasons. Maybe your biological clock never turned on. Not every female is inherently mothering and that’s okay. Perhaps you want to travel or focus on your career, both of which are great options. I’m sure you’re getting pressure from your husband to give him an answer as to why you’ve changed your mind, so hopefully you’re clear in your reasons.

Recognizing Fear As A Factor

Let me speak on your husband’s behalf for a moment and ask you if fear is a factor. Rumor has it there never is quite the perfect time to have a baby. If you were putting off because you’re secretly afraid that it will change your relationship, but it’s something that you actually want to do, I’d encourage you to consider moving forward. Yes, it will change your life irrevocably – but if you and your husband are in a happy relationship and want to add a baby to the mix, embrace the change.

Once again, having children is a huge decision and an even bigger responsibility. Men have biological clocks as well and your husband’s may be going off. This is a tricky situation with no easy out. If having kids is something your husband really wants to experience, he deserves to have that. However, I wouldn’t advise having a baby just to make your husband happy. That’s not going to end well for anyone involved, most importantly the child!

Try To Compromise

Usually I can wrap these questions up in a tidier package. Today I say: keep talking and try to aim for some kind of compromise. Prepare yourself for the fact that you might have to let each other go if neither one of you can get what you want.

What He Said:

If you wait until you’re ready to have kids, you never will.

If you’re scared, you should be. It’s a big deal. It’s permanent and will change your relationship and your life. And it’s 24/7.So if you’re scared, it’s normal. And if that’s the case you may need to simply make peace with the fact that you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, but that it will be okay, no matter what.

You Reserve The Right To Change Your Mind

It’s also possible that you’ve changed. Maybe you really don’t want kids anymore, for whatever reason. That’s something your husband needs to know. There’s no easy way to say it, so just drop the bomb and then begin to move forward. You need to realize that this may be a deal breaker for him and your husband will want to argue his point – you did tell him when you got married that you wanted kids and, now you don’t.

Or, it may be a non issue. Your husband may not want them anymore either or accept that you don’t and still want to be with you regardless. There’s only one way to find out.

Can A Woman Have A Double Vagina?

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Sex oddities pop up all the time, from a 12″ penis to female genitals that can hold 31 pounds. You might think you’ve heard it all when it comes to strange things about sex, but there’s more out there than you can imagine.  For example, can a girl actually have more than one vagina?

Just What Is A “Double Vagina?”

A double vagina, also known within the medical community as a “didelphic uterus,” is when a girl actually has more than one uterus, cervix or canal. It is not uncommon for a woman with a didelphic uterus to have two canals, however, it is also possible for a woman to have more than one uterus but with only one cervix and canal. Regardless of the presentation of this condition, it is not something that can be seen even when the girl is fully naked. It’s all internal. In fact, there are many women who may not even be aware that they have this condition!

Are Two Better Than One?

You might think that having a double canal would be more fun during sex – after all, wouldn’t it bring a whole new meaning to the term “double penetration?” The truth is, there is usually one primary uterus, cervix and canal and the secondary organs are much smaller. A lady with more than one canal may not even be aware that she has the condition. This is due to the second vaginal canal usually being no larger than the width of a pencil and may be hidden within the labia and folds of the vulva.

A common side effect from a double vagina is longer, more intense periods with more pain and bleeding. Some women may experience more “breakthrough bleeding” if they wear tampons – this is because often each uterus will have its menstruation at the same time and since the tampon is inserted only into the primary canal, the woman can experience bleeding around the tampon from the other uterus and canal.

How It Affects Sex

Usually, this condition will not affect sex at all since the secondary one is so much smaller. Some women may experience pain during sex due to this condition, but this is uncommon as the canal is made to stretch to accommodate a variety of different penis sizes.

During sex, the penis is usually inserted into the primary vagina, without regard to the smaller, secondary one at all. In fact, if a girl doesn’t tell her partner that she has more than one, he may never even know! Since the secondary canal is never used for penetration, a woman is still able to experience sex with as much pleasure and capacity for orgasm as any other girl. The g-spot should still be present in the primary canal.

How It Affects Pregnancy

While having a double vagina doesn’t necessarily affect sex all that much, it can be more complicated if a woman with this condition becomes pregnant.

  • It is possible for sperm to travel through both canals and fertilize eggs within each uterus separately. This can also happen at different times. A girl could be several weeks or months pregnant in one uterus, and then get pregnant in the second one. The deliveries could then be several days, weeks or months apart!
  • Each uterus is smaller than what an average uterus would be, so it is possible that neither uterus would be suitable for carrying a fetus to full term. In a study of 18 pregnant patients with a double vagina, only 67.5% of the babies survived. Most of the women required a c-section surgery to deliver the baby. However, with proper prenatal care and a doctor who is familiar with the condition, the fetal survival rate is most likely much higher.

How The Condition Is Treated

Most of the time, a girl with more than one uterus and more than one cervix or canal requires no treatment at all. Another similar condition, called a uterine septum, may require surgery, however, surgery is usually not recommended for women with more than one uterus, cervix or vagina.

How Common Is A Double Vagina?

About 1 in 3,000 women have a double vagina and many of them may not be aware of their condition. Usually, if a girl does not have any symptoms such as painful periods or excessive bleeding, she may never know that she has more than one. The condition is usually discovered when a woman sees her doctor or gynecologist with complaints of very severe pain during menstruation or pain during sex.

Is It Safe For A Pregnant Woman To Have Sex?

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Sex during pregnancy is something lots of men and women wonder about after they have found out they’re going to have a baby. Is intercourse during pregnancy always safe, never safe or sometimes safe? Here’s what you need to know about sex for pregnant women and how to cope if your doctor has instructed you to abstain from sex until the baby is born.

I’d like to say once again that I love your channel and what you guys are trying to do. Well, my friend has gotten his girlfriend pregnant and he feels awkward asking for sex from her. He asked me because I was always that go-to guy for advice, but now I’m stumped. So is it safe for pregnant women to have sex?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZXtvf-Gd7g&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

During The First Trimester

The first trimester of pregnancy – that is, the first three months – the baby is very, very small. In fact, it’s too small to be harmed by even the most wild, vigorous sex. The first month or two, the baby is microscopic and even in the third month, it is only an inch or two long. Sex during this stage of pregnancy is almost always safe, unless your doctor has said otherwise.

However, this is the stage you should be more worried about what goes into the pregnant woman’s body – such as drugs and alcohol. Consuming drugs or alcohol (even smoking cigarettes) during the first trimester can do a lot of damage. Even not getting the proper nutrients during this stage of development can hinder growth and cause problems such as spinal bifida and other malformations.

Too Tired For Sex?

During the first trimester, a lot of women aren’t interested in having sex. The hormones being produced by their bodies make them feel tired and stressed, not to mention that morning sickness usually occurs during this time. And don’t assume that morning sickness happens only in the morning – some women don’t have nausea at all and some feel queasy all day. Don’t pressure your partner if she’s not feeling like having sex – there are plenty of good reasons why.

The Second Trimester

After the first trimester of pregnancy, the nausea begins to subside and a woman may feel like she’s got her “second wind.” She’s probably feeling more like having sex, and may even initiate it with foreplay. This is the part of the pregnancy that you find out the gender of the baby and when she starts to show. But is it still safe even though the baby is getting bigger?

Unless a doctor has told you otherwise, it is perfectly safe to have sex during the second trimester. She may even find it more enjoyable during this time in her life than she ever has before – after all, her genitals are becoming very sensitive now. However, the sex positions that you always use might be more difficult now that the baby is starting to get bigger.

Even though the baby is starting to show, penetration still won’t hurt it because it is surrounded by protective amniotic fluid, the uterus and muscles.

The Third Trimester

This is the trimester in which the baby really starts to put on weight. You’ll notice that your partner is getting bigger and bigger each week, and finding comfortable sex positions is becoming even more difficult. Doggy style is a popular sex position during this stage of pregnancy because it allows the belly to stay out of the way.

As a woman progresses into pregnancy and her body gets ready to give birth, getting busy may actually speed the process along. Once a baby has become “full term,” usually around the 40th week of pregnancy, the hormones in a man’s semen (and the vigorous motion created during penetration) can actually induce labor. It’s also not uncommon for this to happen during the 38th or 39th week of pregnancy.

When Sex During Pregnancy Isn’t Safe

There are going to be times when engaging in sexual activity during pregnancy isn’t safe for the woman or the baby. Usually, this is in the case of very high risk pregnancies. Ask a doctor whether the pregnancy is considered high risk and if it is okay to have sex. Don’t be afraid to get specific and ask which activities and sex positions are safe and which aren’t.

If intercourse becomes painful for a woman during the pregnancy, let the doctor know immediately. Intercourse during pregnancy may be uncomfortable at times, but it shouldn’t be painful. Many guys (and girls) are embarrassed to talk to their doctors about things of a sexual nature, but her obstetrician is going to have the best answers for you on what is safe and what isn’t.

What To Do If You Can’t Have Sex

If your girl is up to it, consider being intimate with each other in ways that don’t include penetration if your doctor has suggested you abstain from intercourse. Many guys are afraid they’re going to be left out if their pregnant partners can’t have sex, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Oral sex is a great way to satisfy her sexually and vice versa. Very rarely, if ever, is oral sex dangerous to a developing fetus.

You can also experiment with sex toys for her that don’t involve penetration, such as vibrators for the clitoris. Anal play can also be an option if she’s into it and her doctor has given the green light on it. Be creative and explore different ways to please each other sexually without engaging in actual intercourse.

If She Doesn’t Want – Or Can’t Do – Anything

If intercourse is out and she just doesn’t want to (or can’t for some reason) try oral sex or any other type of sexual activity, you’re just going to have to bite the bullet on this one. A masturbation sleeve can be your best friend during this time, because you might just have to resort to it more often than you actually get to do it with your partner.

Don’t pressure her for intercourse if she can’t or doesn’t want to. Her body is going through many changes and there’s lots of good reasons that she might not want to engage in any kind of sexual activity at all. Just grab a bottle of lube and take a few minutes to take care of things yourself. Your partner will appreciate not being hounded about having sex when she just doesn’t feel like it.