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Turning Her On – How To Get Your Girlfriend In The Mood

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Getting a woman in the mood is not as difficult as you may think. But we have to admit, it gets harder and harder to create the right mood for some frisky lovemaking when you’ve been with a woman for a while. Unlike that time when you just started dating, the intervals between the days she wants sex get longer and longer.

I have no doubt that you know exactly what I’m talking about. Sometimes her rejection of your advances has a lot to do with the girl’s approachability. But more often than not, it’s the fact that you’ve run out of ideas on how to turn her on. You figure she has seen and heard everything that you have to offer, and that flirting with her will seem like you’re just reprising the role of the horny boyfriend who wants to jump her all the time.

If you can’t help but to overdo the physical side of your relationship, here are some ways to make sure you don’t leave the emotional aspect alone. A woman gets turned on based on what she’s feeling, whether or not you’re touching her.

Romance Her

Much to the dismay of women, some guys don’t know (or have forgotten) how to romance a woman into bed. Don’t get me wrong. Most women love sex, and they’d go all out when the sex is good. However, women need a different set of stimuli to get it going. We can do with a good cleavage view, or simply the thought that we can get laid, but women need more than that. They want to feel like they’re being wooed rather than being used as objects.

During foreplay, you have all the opportunity to make a woman express her needs to you. Tune in to her mood and go from there. If she’s tired, start slowly. If she’s angsty or even angry, you can rough her up a bit in a sexy way.

Make Her Feel Sexy

Women go into power trips several times during sex, but we often don’t notice these moments because we’re wrapped up in our own fantasies and sexual thoughts. If you want to open the doors to friskier sex, you’d better pay attention when a woman tries to impose her own brand of power while you’re doing it.

For example, here’s how you can make her do oral sex on you longer. While she’s down there, tell her how sexy she looks and that you love it when she does that to you. You can tell her to keep going, but make sure you shower her with a lot of compliments to get her in the mood. If you do this right, you’re going to get something more than the 30-second, obligatory sucking.

Show Her You Want Her

Showing a woman you’re in the mood can be done in more ways than one. Don’t go for the cliches like flowers and jewelry. Although a bath and an erotic massage are great, getting her to that point needs some doing. What you can do is to pursue her like you’re just going out. Show up at her workplace and ask her out on a date, or ask her to go with you somewhere for a couple of drinks. Think of it like you’re hitting on her again, and you’ll set the mood for some frisky lovemaking easily.

Loving The Unlovable Parts Of Your Lover

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About half way through Committed, Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir that picks up her life where Eat, Pray, Love left us, Elizabeth shares a charming scene where she and her fiancé tell each other their worst faults. They lay it all on the line like a test: this is who I really am. Can you still love me?

“Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of that.’ Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”

~ “Felipe” from Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir, “Committed.”

I find the scene charming because my husband and I did the exact same thing. The only difference was we did it on our very first date! But I imagine the same dynamics drove both conversations and that was insecurity born of painful, challenging divorces and other dysfunctional relationships mixed with a deep desire that the new beloved understand what he or she was getting into in order to reduce damage done to the other.

Stop Sabotaging Your Relationship

Honestly, unless you’re a complete newbie to the relationship scene, it doesn’t matter whether you’ve had just one long romance (that may or may not have gone bad) or a string of monogamous (or not so monogamous) relationships; you know the stuff about you that sabotages romance and good loving. You know the places you go to with words, attitude, and actions that drive a wedge between you and your partner, whoever your partner is. Your partner knows those things about himself or herself as well. The longer you’ve been together, the better you know those things about each other.

So what do you do with those things to keep from sabotaging your relationship? And, by the way, sabotage can look as dramatic as the relationship falling apart or as mundane as simply ruining an afternoon or a single day. How do you love the unlovable parts of your lover?

Perhaps I’ve hinted at where to begin? That would be with you. A quick way to turn down the heat of repulsion that your partner’s words, attitude, or actions have engendered is to recognize that you have things about you that repulse your partner as well. Whether it’s the times when you suddenly feel like complete strangers to each other (and not in a good way) or the times certain reoccurring behaviors drive you batty, you are both only human and so you are both going to be guilty of doing or saying things that turn the other person off. Accepting this can help lighten up how you feel about the issue and how you feel towards your lover.

Loving The Unlovable Parts Of Your Lover

Loving the unlovable parts of your lover doesn’t mean forcing yourself to interpret annoying things as charming. Although that is one way to tackle it, love is bigger than that. Love often means allowing people to make mistakes, take risks, do things that go against our ideals while managing the ego’s war inside that would really rather control the other person than make allowances for them.

And so if your lover, for instance, has a habit of taking off their shoes and playing with their feet and toes every night when they settle down on the sofa beside you to watch a little T.V. and it’s something that makes your skin crawl, you have some decisions to make. Do you really need to go to battle over this and make them change their behavior? Maybe so. If so, make it as much about you as you can.

So, rather than blast them for being gross or insensitive, make it about your limitations and how you need them to do this for you. Ask if there’s anything in return you can do for them to make their life with you more comfortable. There’s no easy way to say, “This right here must stop.” But if it must stop, better to make the request than to let discomfort turn into resentment.

However, maybe you don’t really need to turn this into a battle. Maybe you love to suck on those toes when they are freshly bathed and so you think you can create peace inside yourself over this presently irritating habit. Give that a try before creating a battle over this. Work with yourself to see if you can change rather than asking your lover to change. You may not ever like your lover’s habit but even if it can become a neutral event in your daily routine, neutrality can be an expression of loving your partner in spite of this particular unlovable habit.

Open Your Eyes And Heart

Of course, a third option is to join in the fun, remove your own shoes and socks and play with your feet and toes!

Felipe’s advice as Elizabeth Gilbert relates it is really good. It suggests that loving the unlovable parts comes down to facing them squarely and determining with complete honesty whether or not you can accept the bad with the good. At the very beginning of a romance, this can save a couple a lots of time, trouble, and heartache if the truthful answer is “No.” In that case, you can go your separate ways before harm is done.

But if the truthful answer is yes then you proceed with growing the love between you with open eyes and hearts. This practice begun early in the relationship can help you navigate a lifetime of choosing each other as lovers over and over again as each day uncovers the mystery of who you each are in the world and to each other.

How To Tell Her You Love Her – 5 Romantic Ideas

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Getting the attention of a beautiful girl is easy, but maintaining that level of attention is difficult. If you think you’ve “got her” when she agrees to date you, think again. A woman’s mind can change rather quickly if the man she’s with is not emotionally available. If you want to enjoy a lasting relationship with a woman, you need to get her to think of you in a more romantic way.

Whatever you do, you shouldn’t be complacent when it comes to dating. Most men realize this and they do what they can to be more romantic, but unfortunately, the women won’t recognize their efforts. It’s not always because the men are doing it wrong. It may be because the woman expects something more.

Your mission is to make her think of you as the most romantic guy ever, and here are 5 ways to do that.

Do Her Chores

Making life easy for your girl is one sign that you love her, and she will feel this too. Once a week, make it a point to give your girl a day off by taking charge of chores while she does her nails or while she visits a salon for a makeover.

Flowers

You often hear that girls think it’s sweet when men give them flowers for birthdays and valentines, right? You know what’s sweeter? It’s giving flowers when there’s no special occasion to celebrate. On any ordinary day, give her a few stalks of her favorite flowers. Women are conditioned to like this gesture from their childhood, so you can’t go wrong with this one.

Dinner

Even the modern woman feels all warm and fuzzy when a man pays for her meal. It’s just an instinct that all women share. Take your girl out, go to her favorite restaurant and snack together on her favorite dishes whenever you can.

Travel Together

Whether it’s just the next state or a neighboring country, make sure you spend some time with your girl travelling to another place for a change of scene. Being stuck in one place can be uncomfortable, not to mention boring. Make sure you ask your girl where she wants to go, and which activities she wants to try in another place before making your plans.

Sex

Love making is the ultimate way to express your feelings to her. Set it up nicely with a good bubble bath, scented candles and aromatic oils. When she’s relaxed, you can proceed with erotic massage. Be patient and make her feel that it’s her night and you’re her sex slave for the night.

Go for kinky sex! If your girl is usually submissive during sex, turn the tables on her and let her dominate you for one night. However, be sure to give her guidance and instructions (like what the leather whip is for), or offer suggestions on how to role play as a dominatrix.

May-To-December Romances: Can They Last Over Time?

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Lolita. Harold and Maude. American Pie. Marked age differences in a romance are nothing new to the world of literature and film. However, are they really conducive to modern-day relationships? Can two people of differing generations find a connection that transcends the decades?

Younger Man + Older Woman Or Older Man + Younger Woman?

The first aspect to consider is the genders as they relate to the ages. Would an older man/younger woman combination be more likely to succeed than an older woman/younger man relationship? Not necessarily, but it is more acceptable by society’s standards. Nowadays, a young woman on the arm of her older partner would not cause one to even bat an eyelash. The stigma of an older woman courting a young man is slowly dissipating, but the situation is still likely to draw jokes about her being a “cougar.” Because of that stigma, it is often harder to be taken seriously as a legitimate couple.

Spring-Time Perks

One of the best ways to succeed in a May-to-December romance is to find a way of bridging the gap. For instance, if you are a young woman (or man) with no interest in the wild dating scene, you may be looking for someone to settle down with right away. Meanwhile, an older man (or woman) has focused on his/her career for most of their adult life, and now they are ready to start a family. These people are able to meet halfway to fulfill their common goals or desires.

Cold Weather Drawbacks

The relationships that seem doomed to fail are the ones in which the couple does not have a connection deeper than appearances, money, or other superficial perks. For example, an older man may proudly find himself the target of his friends’ jealousy when he starts dating a hot 18-year-old. However, the disappointments quickly pile up when he realizes what may accompany this particular age: no previous adult relationships, insecurity, partying lifestyle, and little “real world” experience. Also, you may enjoy the vigor of your younger lover. Yet, what happens if you are ready to have a baby or to move to the countryside, but your energetic partner isn’t ready to settle down?

And Over Time?

Moreover, generations have widely varying ideals, values, and goals from the next. One woman, whose parents are 20 years apart in age, shared her experiences. While the age difference didn’t matter when they were in their 30s and 50s, respectively, it certainly made an impact when they hit their 60s and 80s. When she was younger, the mother hadn’t minded her husband’s old-fashioned views about “a woman’s duties,” such as rearing the kids, cooking, and cleaning. Yet as an aging woman, she no longer had the energy to do all the housework. Also, as he grew older, he became less interested in such activities as traveling—even though she was still into traveling the world.

“While a big age difference is irrelevant for a time,” she concluded, “it’s almost guaranteed to cause problems if you’re still together when the older person is actually old. They have a good relationship despite their differences, though. They knew what they were getting into and decided they loved each other enough that they’d deal with it.”

Cuddling After Sex – 3 Reasons Women Love It And Guys Should Do It

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What is cuddling? It’s an after-sex position you get into when your girl asks you to hug her. Cuddling is done like the spoon position, but with less erotic touching and more hugging. Women love to cuddle right after sex. If you’re anything like every other guy around, you probably think nothing of falling asleep right after sex but your girl might have other ideas. The general notion is that most men don’t think of cuddling as the main after-sex activity, and it’s just another one of those things that women do to get a guy’s attention.

But men would benefit greatly if they learned the art of “post-sex” lovemaking. Here are some reasons why women love cuddling after sex and why all guys should do it.

Cuddling Adds Romance After A Session Of “Animal” Sex

Sex leaves her feeling vulnerable. Every woman wants to feel loved even after a few hours of uninhibited animal sex. She wants to know that she is adored by the man she slept with. Regardless of your relationship status with the woman, she wants to feel that she’s with someone who thinks of her as “special.” The greatest thing a man can do to show his affection after sex is to cuddle and whisper in her ear. The act of talking while cuddling becomes special because, in a girl’s mind, it’s still a part of love making.

Cuddling after sex turns into a woman’s emotional release. Having an orgasm during sex is satisfying, but the emotional gratification isn’t complete without some romance after sex.

Cuddling Helps Women Prepare For The Next Round

Unlike most men, women can go for seconds after a short while. Women are capable of multiple orgasms, but these big O’s don’t always come one after another during sex. Sometimes, a woman needs to recuperate and recharge her physical and emotional batteries before going for it again.

A show of affection by touching and cuddling can boost arousal. Think of it as after-play and foreplay for the next round. If you’ve encountered women who don’t want a second round, it’s probably because you’ve never tried the “romantic cuddle” trick to getting her to say yes again.

Women Want To Talk

Cuddling after sex is a woman’s way of saying “let’s talk”. Women treat sex like an intimate date, which means conversation before and after sex. Strangely enough, women are less prone to getting mad or sulking when they’re completely satisfied with the love making. This means the conversation that ensues will be less strained, more relaxed and more fun.

I know most guys would rather sleep right after love making, but trying to stay awake to hear her talk about her day is recommended. A man isn’t supposed to fall asleep during this post-sex talk. If you’re having trouble keeping your eyes open during this time, I suggest going to the kitchen for a snack (with her in tow) or sitting up in bed to drink water while she cuddles next to you.