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You are here: Home / Archives for sex tips

Aphrodisiacs Don’t Work For Me And My Partner! Help!

By loveandsex

An aphrodisiac is a love it or hate it kind of thing. Unfortunately, most couples are a mix of both!

Here’s an example – let’s call this couple Cindi and Sam. Cindi is all for romance and aphrodisiacs and even went to great lengths to prepare a 5-course aphrodisiac dinner – do you know how hard that is? Well, Sam appreciated the dinner alright – then went to the living room and turned on the TV!

Sam is completely aphrodisiac-challenged, while Cindi is the hopeless romantic so to say that there’s tension in their relationship is an understatement.

Where Cindi Went Wrong with Her Aphrodisiac Dinner

What Cindi did wrong here is that she was trying to force romance. There was no ‘primer’ whatsoever. No hints or anything during the day that she wanted to be sexed up that night. So as far as Sam was concerned, it was simply ‘dinner time’. When asked if Sam didn’t get any hints since he was being served a 5-course dinner, he said “Cindi loves to cook. She cooks all the time! I thought she just got it in her head to be elaborate that day.”

Cindi also prepared a meal with aphrodisiacs that SHE believed in and may not necessarily be good for Sam. For instance, when pressed for details, Sam actually said he didn’t like the salad Cindi prepared because he hates arugula (rocket)!

Tips to Help Aphrodisiacs Work For You And Your Lover

Make sure you use aphrodisiacs that you think/know your lover will appreciate. Remember that the goal is to ‘increase his/her sexual desire’ for you so you should use aphrodisiacs that will work on him/her, not on you! As such, stop listing things YOU like and think of your lover.

For women, don’t focus on the chocolate, that’s mostly aphrodisiac stuff for you. Remember, men are ‘visual’ creatures so food that looks like genitalia is better! Go oysters. If budget is a concern, go for clams or mussels instead. For veggies, go for carrots (UN-chopped!) and asparagus as they resemble the penis.

Here’s another trick: use only green asparagus because they’re more appealing to look at and more sturdy after being boiled. Then, I dip the tips in butter and arrange them in a tall glass. What a visual treat! The glistening and dripping tops of the asparagus lend themselves to some horny fantasies!

Give Your Lover Hints

Drop hints during the day. Ok, for people who are not into all this aphrodisiac stuff, you need to aid them here, folks. So why not engage in some active foreplay during the day so your lover is more inclined to be in the right mood and frame of mind when you present your aphrodisiac treats?

Setting Up A Romantic Atmosphere

Compliment aphrodisiac foods and drinks with a romantic setting. Trust me, no type of aphrodisiac will bring about love and naughty thoughts if the washing machines is blaring in the background, if the kids are running and shrieking all around the table and if the dog is barking like the devil himself.

What you need is a relaxing, soothing, and sexy setting. So tidy up the house, dim the lights, put on a Barry White CD and light candles all over the house. Your lover will be in the mood for sex even BEFORE he/she takes a taste of your aphrodisiac treats.

Learn how to drop hints DURING the aphrodisiac meal. For those who have lovers that are truly aphrodisiac-challenged, don’t fret; simply drop hints while serving the aphrodisiac food and drinks.

For women, while serving those asparagus tips, start to put one in your mouth and then casually put it in and out as if you’re simply tasting the salted butter and then say ‘mmmm!’ When your lover turns to you, say “Hey, aren’t asparagus said to be aphrodisiacs?” as if the thought just occurred to you.

For men, DO bring out the chocolates! But instead of simply popping them in your mouth, start to lick it. Make really wet, lapping noises. THAT will get her attention in no time!

Aphrodisiacs HELP in increasing sexual desire, they’re not a magical cure you can administer and simply get results. But with the tips above, you’ll get more success each time you use them!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: foreplay, romance, romantic ideas, sex tips

Premature Ejaculation: How To Increase Your Stamina

By loveandsex

Do you have problems with premature ejaculation? Barring medial issues, this is easier to correct than you think. A few tweaks in how you approach sex should help you last longer.

Harness Your Inner “Sting”

Outside of easy listening and pirate shirts, Sting is perhaps best known for his practice of Tantric sex. Tantra is a movement that was born in India several thousand years ago and incorporates meditation into sex. While this may not entirely appeal to the average man, you can at least borrow some techniques.

As in any physical activity, sexual stamina improves when you concentrate on your breath. Make sure you take slow, steady breaths that go all the way into your belly instead of your chest. This will aid in keeping you relaxed in an extremely excitable situation. It will also allow for you to clear your head so you can tune in to every sensation. Once you can enjoy the sexual experience as a whole, you’ll be rushing less for the goal. Sure, going through the Yankees roster in your head also works, but do you want to be thinking about Randy Johnson while you’re getting it on with a woman?

Take A Few Time Outs

Just because the penis is in, doesn’t mean it has to stay there until you blow. Yes, this is infinitely easier said than done, but if you’re getting your Zen on Sting-style, you should be able to do it. Take that time to kiss, eat her out, or tease her clitoris with the head of your penis.

While you’re out, incorporate the Squeeze Technique to stave off premature ejaculation. Before that inevitable Point of No Return, pull out and squeeze the head of the penis. This forces blood from the genitals, which will relieve a bit of the pressure. This technique can be repeated as needed.

Don’t Make It All About Your Penis

To you, sex is all about the part where you get to put your penis in her vagina. Get that out of your brain. Sex is about the entire experience. Spend some time really exploring her body, getting to know all the spots that drive her wild. Go down on her a couple of times. She can cum many times, so there’s nothing wrong with giving her a couple of orgasms before you even get in there.

If you do orgasm before she does, it’s not over. This may seem obvious to some, but it bears repeating. After your orgasm, you want to roll over and fade into the euphoria, but she is still frustrated. Your penis is not hard anymore, but you have your hands, your tongue, and your creativity to help finish her off. If you ever want to have sex with this woman again, you better make sure you’re both happy.

Relax And Have Fun With It

Learning how to last longer in bed doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, it can take quite a few tries as well as lots of patience to finally get to the point where you don’t blow your load as soon as you see a hot naked girl (okay, you probably last a little longer than that). So relax and have fun with it! Enjoy having sex with your lover, even if you do orgasm first. If you either make sure she has an orgasm before or after you do (as long as you’re making sure she has an orgasm), she’s not going to care “when” you have your orgasm.

There are very few girls out there who say, “Sure you satisfied me but you didn’t orgasm exactly when I did.” Blow her mind with oral sex and then worry about you. Even if you only last a couple minutes, she’s still going to be blissed out because you took care of her first!

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: how to last longer in bed, orgasm, premature ejaculation, sex tips

How To Find The G-Spot And Give Her Sheet Soaking Squirting Orgasms!

By loveandsex

G-spot stimulation has the power to give women incredible squirting orgasms – if done the right way. Lots of guys make the mistake of fingering a woman and never reaching her g-spot, or if they do, they have no idea how to stimulate it to give her an orgasm. First you have to find the g-spot, which is much, much easier if she’s aroused first. Once you find it, you have to stroke her just the right way to bring her to climax. It’s easy to do it too soft or too hard, and you need just the right amount of pressure to really get your lover to squirt. If you want to learn how to make your partner orgasm so fast and so hard you’ll have no choice but to change the sheets afterwards, here’s what you need to do.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyVhjO6l4i0&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Make Sure She’s Turned On And Well Lubricated

G-spot stimulation can feel extremely pleasurable for a woman if she’s turned on and well lubricated before you insert your finger. The g-spot is actually quite difficult to find if your lover isn’t aroused, so you want to spend plenty of time on foreplay first, before you head down south. When she’s aroused, the g-spot actually engorges with blood and “plumps up” so to speak, so you can feel it much more easily with your fingers. You also want to make sure she’s plenty wet enough to start, because if she’s not, the dry friction can really be uncomfortable or painful for her.

The Key Is Foreplay!

The key to giving your lover incredible squirting orgasms is making sure you’re spending enough time on foreplay before getting started on her g-spot. Women need lots of warm up time, and they need to be mentally, emotionally and physically relaxed and open before a squirting orgasm will ever happen. If you spend enough time on foreplay, by the time you get down to her vagina, she’s going to be begging you for release! Here are some great foreplay ideas:

  • Oral sex. Women love oral sex and you can actually give her one or two orgasms this way before beginning to finger her g-spot. Remember that women have a shorter refractory period than men do, so she’s actually closer to reaching an orgasm with g-spot stimulation if you’ve given her an orgasm with her clitoris first.
  • Deep, passionate kissing. Make her feel like you’ve got to have her. This will begin to stimulate and arouse her mind, which is critical for her to be able to relax and let go.
  • Sex toys. Tease and please her with a vibrator before you begin to finger her g-spot. She will love that you’re not afraid to use sex toys on her and that you want to watch her receive pleasure from them!

How Do You Find The G-Spot?

This is actually one of the most common questions guys ask when it comes to sex and female orgasms. To find the g-spot, of course, you want to have her turned on and aroused before you go looking for it. It’s located about 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the top wall (the stomach side, not the butt side). You can most easily reach and stimulate the g-spot by inserting one or two fingers about 2 inches into the vagina with your palm facing up. Curl your fingers in towards your body like you’re making a “come hither” motion. You should feel a spongy, textured spot on the top wall that your partner responds to when you rub it or put pressure on it. This is the g-spot!

How To Give Your Lover A Squirting Orgasm

When you find the g-spot, you’ll want to use the “come hither” motion to stimulate it. Start slowly and softly, and gradually work your way up to faster and firmer pressure as your lover shows that she’s enjoying it. Make sure to pay attention to her body language – if she’s scooting away from you or doesn’t seem to be actively enjoying it, you’re most likely not in the right area and are causing her pain or discomfort.

Encourage her to communicate with you and give you direction. Let her know that you want to know if it’s too hard, too soft or if she wants you to stimulate her in a different way. Be open to her suggestions and do them without taking it personally like you’re doing something wrong! Let her show you where and how to touch her!

The Big “O”

For some women, reaching a g-spot orgasm feels somewhat like she has to pee. This feeling may be very intense, and this is most likely when a girl will have a squirting orgasm. When she does climax, her vagina will contract and clamp down hard on your fingers -but don’t let up! You want to stimulate her all the way through her orgasm with the exact same speed and pressure as you had going when she first reached the big “O.”

While you don’t want to put too much pressure on her g-spot to avoid hurting her, giving her a squirting orgasm may take a little more pressure than you originally think. And it may not happen the first few times – keep practicing. You need to practice your skills and your girl needs to practice letting go. It ca be very difficult for a woman to let go enough to squirt wildly, so encourage her and give her praise if she does!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: clitoris, female orgasm, foreplay, g spot, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips, squirting

9 Scorching Hot Sexual Massage Techniques

By loveandsex

A sexual massage is just something I LOVE to receive from my partner. It always relaxes my body and my mind, and never fails to stir my center till I’m all wet and ready to have mind-blowing sex!

I’m sure you want your woman to feel this too so I’m going to give you some basic sexual massage moves you can do tonight. Ready?

Setting The Stage

In addition to ensuring that you have the right environment (i.e., a quiet room, a well-laid out bed or place on the floor, etc.) and equipment (e.g. scented candles, massage oils, lube, etc.), consider making use of fabric or items made of silk, satin and velvet as well. All these different textures can help bring about different reactions from her. If you don’t have them, don’t worry. Nothing can beat the best part of this sexual massage session: you.

Undressing

Firstly, ask your woman to undress (or better yet, undress her). Another tip here to ensure good hygiene is to give her a warm bath first. Either way, once she’s nude, have her lie face down on the area you prepared for the massage. While she has her back to you, undress as well.

Use Hot Breath

Make sure your body and hands are not cold and then lie on top of her (you facing the back of her head). Support your weight on your arms (don’t crush her!) This move does three things: it signals the start of the sexual massage by applying pressure on her whole body; it helps to warm her body and prepare it for the massage; and it starts to introduce sexual thoughts into her head because she can feel your penis between her thighs.

Now don’t get carried away here and start sex. Proceed with the sexual massage and you will be rewarded as the sexual tension builds up! Now, start to breath on her neck and her back. Your hot breath should stimulate her sensitive skin.

Use Your Fingertips

Now, pull yourself up and straddle her thighs (your penis resting between the backs of her legs), put some warm oil on your hands and start to massage her back with just your fingertips. Alternate your strokes. Apply hard, pressured ones with light touches.

Palm Circling

Progress from using your fingers to ‘palm circling’, which is basically massaging her back by applying the whole width of your hand. This is a firmer technique that helps her body really relax. As a general rule, never massage her on the bones. Place the palms of both your hands on her back and move them in circles, firmly outward and away from her spine.

Palm Gliding

Scoot yourself down her body. You buttocks should be by her feet now. Now reach to the top of her shoulders and start doing the palm circling massage – but this time, glide down to her ass and start massaging there too. After a few strokes, you can be naughtier with this one.

Reach to the top of her shoulders again but this time, keep your head low so that your face is right in front of her rear. (Like kneeling and bowing to someone.) You can do the palm circling again while breathing hot and heavy against her butt.

Combining Techniques

A slight – and naughtier variation – would be to give her analingus instead of breathing your hot breathe on it WHILE palm circling her back. (Hey, don’t forget the massage part even while you’re busy sexually arousing her.)

Thumbing

Go back to straddling her thighs, sitting up now, and use your thumbs to massage her lower back. You should make short, rapid, alternate strokes with each thumb, moving up and across her butt toward her waist. Continue up the right-hand side of her body all the way to the shoulders. Repeat this on the left side of her body and finish off by going back and concentrating again on her lower back (just above her butt).

A Little Naughty Anal Play

Now for the sexual part – continue to thumb massage her while your hands move slowly down her butt. Part her crack and start to thumb massage her anus. You can do this alone, or while you finger her vagina and play with her clitoris. She will try to squirm here but be firm! If she can take it, alternate between this massage and breathing your hot breath on her anus.

Repeat all these back massages as long as you want! Just remember to oil up often as the warm oil and the gliding effect of your skin on hers does a lot of sexual magic!

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: erotic massage, fingering, foreplay, sex tips

Q&A: How To Avoid Using Your Teeth During A Blowjob

By loveandsex

Oral sex is amazing for a guy – some men even favor oral sex over traditional vaginal intercourse, believe it or not! Fact is, a blowjob is an incredible gift that you can give your guy – unless your pearly whites get caught on his member! Then, you’ve caused more pain than pleasure and it’s not really a gift at all! If you’re experienced at giving head, you probably know how to keep your teeth to yourself but then again, many women think they know how to go down on a guy, when really all they’re doing is causing him pain and discomfort with their teeth! Are you really blowing his mind, or is he humoring you because he doesn’t want to tell you you’re actually hurting him? Here’s how NOT to scrape your teeth against his penis during a blowjob.

Hi Dan and Jenn, my teeth always seem to get in the way when I give my boyfriend a blowjob and I’m afraid of hurting him. Do you know what I could do to stop this? I love your channel!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiPgCea0RTo&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

You REALLY Don’t Want To Use Your Teeth

No matter how kinky you think your guy is, or how kinky you are, it’s not the time to nibble or bite when giving a blowjob. Teeth can put an amazing amount of pressure on a man’s penis, and that’s just scary – not to mention all the horror stories guys have heard about men getting their penises bit off during oral sex (most of them aren’t true, but these are horror stories that circulate the locker room nonetheless). Fact is, guys are just terrified of your pearly whites, plain and simple. So no, you really don’t want to use them during a blowjob – on purpose, on accident or otherwise.

Use Your Hands Instead

The most common time that the teeth scrape against the penis during oral sex is when a woman tries to put the whole thing in her mouth. Sure, deep throating is great and all if you know how to do it, but most of the time, women accidentally drag their teeth against their lover’s member on the way up. You can avoid this by not going down so far on his penis and using your hand to stimulate the shaft instead. Using your hand as an extension of your mouth gives him pressure and stimulation at the base of his penis (which is necessary for him to reach orgasm) and leaves your mouth free to stimulate the sensitive nerves on the head.

Use Your Tongue And Lips More

A lot of women think that if they just simply suck on a man’s penis, that they’re giving fellatio the right way. Nothing could be further from the truth! A great blowjob doesn’t happen by just sticking a penis in your mouth. You have to have some skill in this area, and use your tongue and lips to stimulate the many different sensitive areas of a man’s genitals.

Licking the head of his penis can be extremely pleasurable for him, especially if you’re using your hands at the base of his shaft to give him a handjob. You can do this more easily if you use a nice, flavored lube that you don’t mind the taste of. Your lips are soft and wet too, so don’t forget how amazing those can feel when you’re kissing all the way up and down his member!

Wrap Your Lips Around His Teeth

As your lover gets closer and closer to orgasm, he’s going to need less licking and sucking and faster, more rhythmic stimulation. You can do this with your hand, but if your lover prefers you using your mouth only, wrap your lips over your teeth as you move your mouth up and down his shaft. This may be a little uncomfortable because in essence, you’re squishing your lips over your teeth and then putting pressure on them, but it’s totally worth it not to drag your teeth over your lover’s shaft as you’re giving him head.

There’s something in it for you too though ladies – ever notice how incredibly soft your lips are after doing this? That’s because you’ve exfoliated all the dead skin off your lips – and there’s also more blood flow to your lips, so they’re nice and plump. So why not give your guy an incredible blowjob before heading out for a date, and then just swipe some clear lip gloss on? People will swear you’ve had work done!

Use Your Hands To Control The Speed

If your partner starts getting really into what you’re doing, he may start thrusting his hips faster and faster as he gets closer to climax. This may end up doing more harm than good, because if he’s going too fast, you’re going to have a lot less control over what is going on and your teeth may slip out from behind your lips and scrape him – which can be worse and do more damage if you’re going fast! If he starts thrusting too fast, use your hands to control his hips and slow him down. He’ll still most likely reach orgasm if you’re going a little slower, and you can avoid any painful accidents.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, fellatio, oral sex, sex tips

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