Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for sex tips

Should You Have Sex Before Age 18?

By

Teen sex is common these days – you see it on television and in movies, you hear about teenage celebrities getting busy and kids at school are trying it too. But is it right for YOU? Should you do it, or should you wait?

Legality

Let’s face it – it’s not legal for people to have sex if they’re under the age of eighteen. You can’t buy porn or sex toys if you’re underage either. While tons of underage boys and girls still do have sex before they’re eighteen and never get caught, it’s important to know the basics of when it is actually legal for you to engage in sexual activity.

That said, if you and your partner are both underage, it becomes less of a criminal issue and more of an issue with your parents. However, if you are underage and your partner is over the age of eighteen, or vice versa, you can get into a LOT more trouble. The older person may be charged criminally if it is ever reported that you are having sex with them, and they will be required to register as a sex offender after any jail time, probation or community service that is issued.

Being registered as a sex offender will haunt them for the rest of their lives and make it difficult for them to buy a home, have a job, have children and visit their children’s schools, and even impact their ability to vote. It’s not something that goes away after a few years – it’s a lifetime of being on a list with pedophiles and rapists. Think twice about having sex you or your partner are underage!

What Are You Waiting For?

If teen sex isn’t something you want to be involved in, think about the “why.” Are you waiting for marriage? Are you waiting until the age of eighteen to do it so you or your partner don’t get into trouble? Whatever your reason for waiting is, it’s a good reason – and it’s important that you fully understand the reason why you’re waiting so you can stay strong and continue to abstain.

If you’re not “waiting” but you just haven’t had sex yet, think about some of the reasons you should wait. Are you in a serious, committed relationship? If not, perhaps you should wait until you’re in love. Think about possibly getting yourself or your partner in legal trouble, or going against your personal beliefs. There are lots of good reasons to abstain and there are many of them that will apply to you and you alone. Perhaps you don’t want to abstain until marriage, but you just want to abstain until you’re older, smarter, more confident and ready. Every reason is a good one!

Considering Consequences

No one likes to think about the consequences of teen sex, but it’s a must if you’re considering losing your virginity. Having sex is an adult activity, and if you feel like you’re adult enough to handle it, then you’re definitely adult enough to think about the possible consequences beforehand. A lot of teenagers are afraid that if they think about the consequences of teen sex before they have it, they might talk themselves out of it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing!

If you’re sure you want to do it and “being talked out of it” isn’t something you feel will happen, considering the consequences will help you effectively plan for anything that might happen as a result of your decision. Think about the possibility of getting an STD – and all the different ways that they can be transmitted – and think about what you can do to reduce your risk as well as what you’ll do in the event that it does happen. Unwanted pregnancy is similar – before you have sex, think about how you can prevent an unwanted pregnancy and how you might deal with one should it actually happen.

Staying Safe

If you’ve thought long and hard and have decided that now is the right time to have sex, take the time to look into all safety options that you have available to you – and there are a LOT! Think about going to your doctor and getting on birth control. If you’re too young to go to the doctor by yourself and can’t tell your parents that you’ve made the decision to have sex and want to get on birth control, you don’t need to be having sex.

Also, think about using condoms and spermicide. Get flavored condoms and dental dams for oral sex. Talk to your doctor about other ways you can practice safe sex. Sex isn’t fun if all you’re worried about is getting pregnant or an STD. It’s also not fun if you’re worried about your partner going to jail.

If you can’t get it on with a clear conscience, try waiting until you can!

What Women REALLY Want In Bed

By

Sex is different for girls than it is for guys. Girls experience it differently and feel differently about it than men do. If you think you know what your partner wants when she’s having sex with you, think again! You’d be surprised at the things a woman wants and needs during nookie to get off and feel satisfied. Here’s what a girl ACTUALLY wants in the sack!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fM5gC3Ti1I[/youtube]

Psychological Excitement – Not Just Physical Excitement

A woman is multi-sensory during sex – she doesn’t just want to feel what you’re doing, she wants to think about it, hear it, see it, and imagine what you’re going to do next. A woman uses her brain during sex more than anything else, so if you neglect to stimulate her mind and her imagination when you’re getting it on, you’re not going to get very far.

While girls do appreciate good technique, you can’t skate by on technique alone. If you’re totally “blah” in bed and don’t get her mind, soul, body, emotions and imagination going when you’re getting busy, it’s not going to matter if you can touch her clitoris exactly the right way. She’s not going to be able to reach orgasm if her mind isn’t adequately stimulated.

What Energies A Woman Wants To Feel

Because a woman’s emotions are so deeply involved in sex, it’s important to have the right energy when you slip between the sheets. If you have a weak energy about you – as though you’re going to ask permission to do what you want to her – she’s not going to get turned on at all. These are some things that girls really want to feel when bumping uglies:

Dominance

A woman wants to feel as though she’s with a man who is dominant. She wants to feel like he will take control of the situation if need be, and that he has the confidence to give her pleasure. Having dominance doesn’t necessarily refer to domination like in BDSM, but rather, just a man having a dominant energy and attitude about him. Make her feel like you’re the alpha male!

Variety

Girls also don’t want to do the same thing over and over when they have sex. They want variety, just like anyone else does. You may know just the right techniques but if you do them again and again, they’re going to get old after awhile. Take the time to research new techniques and try them out.

Don’t assume that because you’re good at sex and can give a girl an orgasm that you’re beyond having to hit the books to learn something new – that’s every man’s downfall. Read up on new ways to pleasure your partner and see what works and what doesn’t! She’ll love that you’re adventurous enough to bring something new to the table!

Emotion

Girls are emotional creatures – emotions govern their lives, from what they do to what they wear, what they eat and where they go. It makes sense that emotions govern a woman’s pleasure during sex as well. A woman doesn’t want to get it on with a robot – if you’re incapable of showing emotion when getting busy, your partner will get bored pretty quickly.

Instead, allow the emotions you’re feeling come through. If something feels great, don’t be afraid to say something or even just moan. Don’t be too quiet! Also, dirty talk is a great way to engage her brain during sex. It lets her know that you’re really enjoying what’s happening while also turning her on even more.

After Sex Play

You’ve heard the joke about how all men do after sex is roll over and go to sleep – unfortunately, many men actually do this! They may get up and get a drink or have a smoke afterwards, but when it’s over for a guy, it’s over. However, it’s completely different for a woman. A woman is emotionally geared up after sex – she feels intimate with you and emotionally connected to you. She may want to cuddle or talk, but she probably won’t roll over and go to sleep.

If you emotionally unplug from your partner after orgasm and go do something else, she’s going to feel disconnected from you. Even if she had an orgasm (or two or three), if she doesn’t get that emotional follow up after sex, it’s not going to end well for her. It may even discount the whole experience!

Take some time when you’re done knocking boots to stay connected with her emotionally. Lay by her side and listen to her breathe. Touch her softly and cuddle with her. Even if you can only stay awake for just a few minutes, if you’re cuddling and bonding with your partner, it will make all the difference in the world. It will also increase your chances of getting busy – and not masturbating alone – next time!

They Want Orgasms!

Girls want orgasms during sex. While it is possible for a woman to enjoy it without reaching climax, it’s just a lot better for both you and your partner if you can help her reach her peak. If a girl never has an orgasm, she’s going to feel like having sex with you is a “job” and there’s really no point in doing it at all. That’s when a guy will notice his sex life start to wane – she’s not going to get busy with you if she can’t reach orgasm.

Practice your technique and communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. Let her know that you genuinely want to please her and need some feedback on what she likes and what she doesn’t. If your partner is having problems with reaching orgasm and it’s not happening very often or at all regardless of what you do, visit a doctor and rule out any medical issues. Explore ways to make sure your partner is enjoying sex as much as you are.

Top 10 Best Places To Have Sex While Shopping

By

Sex while shopping can be lots of fun! Give yourself a break from the grind by getting it on with these ten super steamy ideas.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1qwRSH_6PU&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

While Apartment Hunting

Apartment hunting can be pretty intense if you don’t have something to distract you. Some apartment landlords will hand out the keys to the apartments without accompanying you to the place. This is a great time to break in a new place! Check out the floor plan and then do it on the floor – or do it doggy style in the tub. Make sure to bring a few tissues with you – the water may not be turned on to rinse away the evidence of your tryst.

While Test Driving A New Car

Test out the backseat in a new car when you’re test driving it. Park the car in an obscure location and get busy – you can do it the traditional way in the backseat, or you can use the front passenger side seat if it reclines back far enough. You can also have oral sex this way if you get into the sixty-nine position!

In A Public Restroom In A Department Store

If you want to have sex in a department store, the best place you’re going to find is the restroom or the dressing room. The restroom offers less privacy than a dressing room, which may be more fun for you and your partner depending on if you’re into public sex. Make sure you pick a clean restroom!

In A Dressing Room

If the restroom is occupied or you just want somewhere a little cleaner to go, try the dressing room of a department store. Some dressing rooms have attendants and others don’t, so you want to try to find one that doesn’t have an attendant if you don’t want to get caught. It’s more likely that you’ll find a dressing room that isn’t attended later in the evening or close to the time that the store will be closing. Of course, you don’t want to get caught after the store closes, so give yourself plenty of time!

In A Show Camper In A Sports Store

Whether you’re thinking of buying a camper or not, taking a “look” inside it can be incredibly fun! Many sports stores will have campers set up for customers to tour, especially if it is a very large sports store. If the store is rather empty, you can duck into the camper for a quickie before anyone notices! Have fun by doing it on the fold out table (make sure it can hold your weight!) or missionary style on the camper’s bed.

In A Mobile Home Demo

Like with an apartment, you can often get away for a few minutes under the premise of touring a mobile home. Again, you’ll have to find a mobile home dealer that doesn’t accompany each of his or her customers to the home. Although, you can always as for a few minutes to discuss it privately, at which point the salesperson will most likely head to the other side of the house or somewhere else out of the way. Just be quiet if you don’t want them suspecting what you’re doing!

Under The Holiday Display At The Mall

‘Tis the season for hot sex and you can add a little bit of holiday cheer to public sex by getting it on under or in a holiday display at the mall. Many of these displays have nooks or crannies that you can hide in, or large Christmas trees you can hide behind. Either way, just make sure you’re not doing it during the hours that small children are around, lining up to see Santa! You’d have some angry parents on your hands if you were to get caught. Instead, try waiting until late evening shortly before the mall closes when there aren’t as many customers walking around.

On A Sample Bed At The Mattress Store

This one pretty much guarantees you will get caught, but if you like the idea of getting busted getting your groove on or just really want to do it in a mattress store, you’ll enjoy this. You also aren’t really going to be able to get naked in a mattress store. A handjob might be an alternative, because it’s a little more difficult for the salesperson to spot what you’re doing.

In The Dressing Room At A Lingerie Store

While this is similar to having sex in the dressing room at a department store, it’s a little bit sexier doing it in a lingerie store. This is because not only is the lighting better and will make you and your partner look great doing it, but you’ll also have fun parading around in the lingerie before you get busy! Just be aware that if you do get caught having sex while wearing the lingerie, you’re probably going to have to pay for it.

In A Show Car In The Middle Of The Mall

Another great place to have sex in the mall is in a show car. Most of the time, the windows are tinted dark, so no one will be able to see what is going on inside the car unless they’re standing really close to it and looking in. Again, you have less of a chance of getting caught if you go at a time that there aren’t a lot of people in the mall, but be aware that the doors of the car may be locked and you may not be able to get in.

How To Use The 5 Senses During Sex

By

Sex should involve the whole body for a truly amazing experience. Men are visual creatures, and that is how they express themselves sexually. They like to look at boobs. They like to watch porn. However, women are multisensory. They experience sex with all of their senses. While a great set of abs does entice her visually, so does the sound of a man’s voice or the warmth of his touch.

When she is attracted to him, his scent is stronger than other men’s scents. While men may not be inherently moved to incorporate a woman’s fragrance or the cadence of her speech into his sexual nature, it doesn’t mean he can’t consciously make the decision to do so. Here’s a quick review of the five senses, and how erotic each can be.

Sight

You already know that men are visually stimulated. The respond best when they can actually look at what is going on, rather than just feel it with their bodies. That’s part of why porn is so popular! Men are already experts in getting turned on by what they can see, but you can take it even further. Really scan your lover’s body with your eyes. See how her body is different from other women’s.

Maybe she has strong runner’s legs or perfectly olive skin. Notice the things that make her special unique, and compliment them. Tell her how much you love her wildly curly hair or the curve of her stomach. You will see her in a new light once you’ve really taken her in.

Taste

Taste is definitely a component of good sex, but a lot of the time, the taste of your partner’s salty skin isn’t always erotic. So you can have a lot of fun playing with taste and incorporating new ones into our sex routine. Try giving each other sensual massages with flavored oils, and then lick it off one another’s bodies. Blindfold her, and then feed her passion fruits or chocolate mousse.

Have a sensual dinner before sex and really pay attention to the flavors and textures of the foods. Then, have dessert off her sexy body. Drizzle chocolate sauce and whipped cream all over her and have fun licking it all up. You can also buy a variety pack of flavored lip balms, and then guess the flavor every time you kiss her hello. Whatever it is, have fun with it.

Smell

There’s a reason that certain scents seem sexy to you, or turn you on. Your sense of smell can be heightened during times of extreme arousal. Maximize the power of aromatherapy by filling the room with warm, relaxing scents.  Musky vanilla, sandalwood or lavender scents all help relax the mind and body, and makes a woman feel more sensual.

To engage your sense of smell, breathe in the smell of her skin when she’s under you. Once you know her smell, it will get you going every time you catch a whiff.

Sound

The sounds of sex are probably one of the best things about it. There’s nothing like hearing how much you’re pleasing your partner or listening to the sound of intercourse. Dirty talk is a great way to engage you and your partner’s ears when getting it on.

Whether you’re telling over the phone what you’re going to do to her when you get home, or whispering sweet nothings in her ear, you can heighten the anticipation with verbal stimulation. Also, when you’re pleasuring her or railing her, listen to her moans and hear her reaction. Then you can be certain you’re doing it right.

Touch

This is the most sexually satisfying of all the senses. What you feel with sex is what governs what you do and what you think when you’re getting busy with your lover. Play with touch by running your hands all over each other’s bodies. Feel the warmth of your lover’s skin. Sex games that maximize touch with your partner are also a great way to enhance your sex life.

Play a game where you touch her each part of her body from head to toe, but never lose contact. Then enjoy the intense pleasure when you’ve felt her with all your senses. You can also use this sense when “feeling” your orgasms. When you’re in the throes of orgasm, let the experience completely overtake you. Get lost in all the different sensations that you’re feeling, and let your partner do the same!

Q&A: Anal Sex – Will Lotion Work Instead Of Lube?

By

Anal sex requires lube of some kind –  the anus doesn’t lubricate itself like a vagina does, so whether you’re having anal intercourse or masturbating with an anal sex toy, you have to use lubricant. But if you run out of it, can you use lotion instead?

Question: I am a guy and I often use Astroglide lubricant on my anal sex toy. However when I run out of Astroglide, I’m too lazy to go right to the store to buy more and instead use hand lotion (like Curel). Is this bad for my body?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edQpph-OvwU[/youtube]

What Isn’t Lube

While there are some things out there that aren’t designed for use during sex but will work in a pinch, they’re just not really lube and they don’t do a good job. While you may think that lotion or oil will be slick enough for sex or masturbation with sex toys, they almost never are. Here are a few things that aren’t a good lubricant:

Spit

Spit will work if you don’t have anything else on hand, but it dries out quickly. You often need copious amounts of saliva to make sex feel good at all. If you or your partner have a dry mouth, it may be difficult for you to produce enough saliva to lubricate yourself thoroughly.

Hand Lotion

This is very thick and only gets thicker and stickier as you use it. The limited amount of water in it evaporates very quickly, so you’re left with a thick, sticky mess. Also, fragrances and chemicals can be very irritating to the delicate tissues of both the penis and the vagina. It absorbs quickly, so you’re going to have to reapply frequently.

Baby Oil, Petroleum Based Products

Anything that is oil or is made with oil will break down a condom and also ruin any sex toys you have that are made from or with latex.

Why Lube Is So Important For Vaginal Intercourse

Sex is better when it’s wetter – there’s no doubt about that. If you can get a woman really, really wet, so much the better. If you want to make sure your partner is lubricated enough naturally, make sure you spend lots of time on foreplay. Don’t just rush to intercourse thinking it will feel as good for her as it will for you. Never underestimate the power of oral sex to help get a woman really wet before penetration!

However, vaginas don’t always lubricate themselves enough to make intercourse comfortable, especially if it lasts a while. Anal sex requires significantly more lubricant than traditional intercourse, since the anus does not produce any natural lubrication of its own.

Sex is not only more comfortable with lube, when you have more than enough of it, a woman can reach orgasm faster and easier than if things are too dry and there is too much friction.

Why It’s So Important For Anal Sex

Using lubrication during anal sex is an absolute necessity. Using enough lube during anal sex reduces the risk of the delicate anal tissues tearing. Lotion, spit or oils definitely won’t work for anal sex, and forgetting to use lubricant at all will either make anal sex impossible or cause more damage than you bargained for. Using it for anal sex will also help reduce the risk of extreme pain and discomfort, hemorrhoids, and irritation afterwards.

It’s really not worth it to try anal sex without lubricant or without the proper kind – you can end up being in immense pain (or causing your partner immense pain) and in worst case scenarios, you’ll have to seek professional medical attention. You’ll probably find that anal sex is downright impossible without at least some kind of lubricant.

What Is It Made Out Of?

Lubricant contains several ingredients, and can be both organic and non-organic – there are several different brands and formulas available on the market. It’s formulated to mimic natural body fluids as best as possible, last as long as possible and feel great during sexual intercourse. All formulas of lubricant are compatible with both vaginal intercourse and anal sex, and water based lube is also safe with condoms and all sex toys.

Most brands are inexpensive and can be purchased at your local pharmacy, drug store or supermarket. You can also shop for lubricant online and there are some really great deals out there, especially when you buy the larger bottles. For masturbation, sex and anal sex, you really want to keep enough of your favorite lubricant in stock all the time! Buy more before you run out!