sex tips – Page 201

What You Need To Know About Anal Sex Toys

Anal sex is becoming more and more popular among couples as people take the time to learn about anal sex and how it can be stimulating, satisfying and safe!

The most important thing to consider when using sex toys for anal sex is safety – having anal sex is nothing like having vaginal sex because you have to be a lot more careful. Here’s what you need to know about anal sex and the most popular anal sex toys.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’d like to have anal sex using toys – are there toys built just for anal sex? What is the best toy to use?

–Sarah, Idaho

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hfd4SnGB7X4&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Before You Begin

Before you begin anal sex, make sure you have what you need on hand, such as plenty of lubricant. Don’t use a numbing lubricant during anal sex, because you could inhibit pain receptors that play an important factor in letting you know if something goes wrong. Anal sex should be introduced slowly and be very aware that anal tissue is more sensitive than vaginal or oral tissue and can tear easily. Remember that the anal cavity is not self lubricating like a vagina is – make sure to use lots and lots of lubricant during anal sex whether you’re having anal sex with your partner or using an anal sex toy.

Which Toys Are Safest?

The safest anal sex toys are those that are designed for anal sex only. Most of these toys have a wide enough base to prevent the toy from “getting lost” in the anal cavity, and this is an important feature to have on an anal sex toy. Many vaginal sex toys don’t have wide bases because a woman’s body prevents toys or other things from getting lost – they can always come out. This isn’t true of the anal cavity though and if something goes too far in, you might need a doctor’s help in getting it out. Make sure your anal toys have a wide base to prevent the toy from slipping to far in the anus. Another benefit of the wide base is that they fit nicely into strap on harnesses, allowing more freedom of sex play both vaginally and anally.

Curved Anal Toys

Anal toys can be fun for both men and women, and men actually have an inner pleasure spot within their anal cavity, similar to a woman’s g-spot. This is called the prostate gland, and you can use a curved anal toy to better stimulate a man’s prostate for increased pleasure and more satisfying anal sex.

Remember The Most Important Thing

The most important thing about having anal sex and using anal sex toys is not only to go slow and only go with what you’re comfortable with, but to have fun! If something is painful, or if you’re just not comfortable with something, find another toy or try another sex activity that works to satisfy both you and your partner. If you like anal sex and enjoy using toys for anal sex, make sure to get the ones that are manufactured specifically for that purpose. If anal sex or anal sex toys just aren’t your thing, there are thousands of different ways to pleasure yourself and your partner that doesn’t involve the backdoor at all. If, however, you really enjoy that backdoor action, keep it safe and keep it fun!

The Top 3 Most Wanted Sex Acts Women Crave From Men

By leejenkins

Despite the increasing awareness of female sexuality, a woman still wants a man to lead her in the bedroom. Except for a paltry few, women expect men to have more knowledge about sex than them, whether they admit it or not. It’s not surprising that so many men’s magazines have started adding real sex advice columns, and Q&A sections, cutting a big chunk of sexy photographs space. These men need all the help they can get their hands on when it comes to learning how to make women happy in the bedroom.

So, what is a regular guy to do if his hot girlfriend is in a cuddly mood and is expecting the best sex of her life?

Here are the top 3 most wanted sex acts women crave from men:

1. Making Her Feel Like a Goddess

Preparation time for a date is longer for women than men, so don’t make her think that she wasted her efforts to preen for you by ignoring her bling and scented wrists. Admire her shoes, because doing so means you’ve looked her over. You can stare at other body parts all you want but make sure that you talk to her eyes when you tell her something so she can see the wonder in them.

When you give her a small embrace, let your hands linger on her shoulders and waist long enough for her to feel the warmth of your palms. Abrupt actions and over all behavior might make her feel neglected and unappreciated. Flattery will make her float, if said sincerely and sexily. Whisper naughty things on her ear and make her giggle. Knowing that you’re hot for her as soon as you see her will convey the message of a very passionate night ahead.

2. Connecting with Her Emotionally Through Foreplay

You may feel very passionate and hot for her during your touchy feely date, but when you get her to the bedroom, make sure to take your time and linger on every part of her body that you undress. Trace patterns with your fingers gently across her heated flesh. Play little alphabet games with your tongue as you kiss her where she wants to be kissed the most. Knead rather than pinch and encourage her to moan for you.

One sexy tip is to talk about safe, mundane things while you make love to her with your hands and lips. Encourage her to play out her fantasies and let her return the favor. Be expressive while she makes love to you. When she goes down on you, never thrust too hard and just let her take control. Focus your efforts on making her feel that every move she makes sends waves of pleasure through you.

3. Giving Her An Orgasm (Or Two)

When she’s had her fun, let loose and give her the best orgasm she’s ever had. By now she will be sensitized and receptive (not to mention, delirious with lust). Few men know of the real secret to making a woman reach climax, but those who do certainly have very happy girlfriends. You will notice just how coquettish a woman gets when she’s thoroughly sated. The feeling of orgasm is addictive, mind boggling and overwhelming.

Giving her the gift of orgasm will bring you closer together. She will also look at you in a different light, and imagine what life will be in the future if you can make her climax that way over and over again.

How To Work It – From A Chick Who Knows What Works!

By chickinheels

Oh ladies, we’ve all been there! You are in the midst of sexual play and you think to yourself, “Now would be a good time to get that telepathic message through of what I like and don’t like.” However, these thoughts tend to come to us when we are in the middle of the action which doesn’t tend to be the best of times to voice our “I’d like it better if’s…..”

You’ve gotta give a guy credit for trying and you certainly don’t want to bash his ego or deter him from making an effort to please you. So, take a mental note of what you like, or changes to his moves you’d like to see and very gingerly bring them up at a more appropriate time (outside of the bedroom?).

Well, that or have him read my suggestions here! Funny how you just ‘happened’ to come across this article and ‘wouldn’t this be fun to try?’ Okay so cat’s out of the bag if he’s actually reading THIS part, but fellas–some technique tips FROM a woman about how to WORK your woman can put your TALENTS in a whole new league!!!

She’ll Appreciate the Little Things.

First of all I’m going to assume you’ve made an attempt to set the mood. Women don’t necessarily always NEED a mood set but definitely appreciate it when an effort is made, and this article, is about what women WANT, not just what’s passable. It doesn’t have to be like this EVERY time, but this is what we like.

Show your desire for intimacy early on – flirt. Slide up behind her and give her a little squeeze early in the day. It’s the little things – always. Yes, candles, music, wine and NOT rushing into penetration count BIG TIME. In fact, spending TIME on foreplay is beneficial to both of you.

You’ll bring her to a place of unbelievable excitement and you should definitely expect the same in return. Kissing is so important to women because it’s so intimate. Kiss her slowly and don’t just kiss her lips. Work that neck, kiss her hand, up the inside of her forearm. Enjoy it; spend some time.

The KEY is to NOT do this stuff because you HAVE to but do it and genuinely take each other in.

Move onto holding her close. Feel her body while her clothes are still on. Get her worked up so she wants to be naked as badly as you do. Undress her and make it known that you desire every part of her body as you display it. I’m hoping she’d respond and undress you as well.

Continue the Savoring!

Once the clothing has fallen away don’t just jump to the TARGET areas. Continue the savoring! Kiss her, caress her, touch her hair, trace the lines of her body. The Coles Notes on the first part of the article are: Make it known you treasure her and desire her– it WILL pay off!

The Detailed Technique

Now, getting down to detailed technique. When it comes to more involved sexual contact, one tid bit that I find makes women want you at a heightened level is to learn to master TEASING while pleasing. Don’t just dive into oral sex. Start with your hands. Look at making great sex like a meal (dinner before dessert!).

When you begin to sexually touch your woman use a feather light touch to start. Stay on the perimeter – the crease where her legs join her body. Once you do have your fingers working her most intimate parts ensure you are paying VERY close attention to what she’s responding to and, most importantly, to what she’s responding to MORE.

Widen Your Focus

All too many men focus on manipulating the clitoris. What they don’t realize is that getting a woman turned on prior to that point will cause her to have greater swelling of that spot which leads to increased pleasure. Keep the area warmed. Cupping with your hand or breathing warm air from your mouth also stimulates blood flow (a.k.a. excitement).

If you know your woman prefers to use a lubricant during sex, start with that early while you are playing with her and not only for penetration. Everyone should know that lubrication makes everything feel better whether you are able to induce that from her naturally or not.

When it comes to working with your fingers, start slow. That doesn’t only mean with one finger at a time, but make the insertion slow. Move in and out with just the tip to begin, up to the first knuckle. Are you getting the point here? It’s all about stages and gauging her reaction.

Continue to use your fingers softly on her clitoris as well remembering that there are sensations on the sides and all around this spot not only from the top where guys tend to focus. When you are ready to take it to the next level for oral sex, remember that you can alternate and still use your fingers .

Start Oral Slowly

For oral sex I also suggest a slow/teasing start. Work the outside before going in for the magic button. Make your tongue soft and loose when you are in contact with her clitoris There is nothing worse than a guy who just has one licking motion and for some reason thinks speed is exciting. It’s NOT!

There is the licking technique with a nice soft tongue, you can also flatten your tongue against her clitoris and move your head in a circular motion while breathing warm breath onto her.

Just a few suggestions but again,ultimately you want her feedback and hopefully you’ll know from her reactions what she REALLY enjoys. Watch for the moments when she seems like she wants you even more pulling you in, breathing, moaning.

When she can no longer take it and wants you to move into penetration remember that ENTRY is another whole stage you don’t want to rush over.

Don’t Rush Penetration

Tease her. Go slowly. Don’t just thrust like you’re in a rush. After all, imagine how the rest of things are going to go if you have your woman at a stage where she’s clawing to have you when you are only starting to enter.

From there on in I’m sure you can use your own techniques. Remember, slow and attentive, not throughout, but at least for the build up makes for an ending where excitement will be taken to a whole new level.

Can’t Have An Orgasm Through Any Means But Intercourse

By paulcarlson

Many women have difficulty achieving orgasm, however, some men have difficulty achieving orgasms as well.

Some men can only achieve orgasms with intercourse, which can be frustrating to their partners who are trying to please them with oral sex or genital massage.

If you can only achieve orgasm through intercourse, you’re not alone, but what can you do about it?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have trouble reaching orgasm except through intercourse. I want to find other ways to share my orgasms with my partner. How can I do that?

–Nikki, West Virginia

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2-NihWiNvo[/youtube]

Inner Emotions

Older generations of men had much more societal pressure not to masturbate or touch themselves in any sexual way than more current generations of men. Especially in very religious cultures, masturbation and even oral sex is considered “wrong” or “dirty.”

Men that would get caught masturbating or even receiving oral sex or genital massage became socially outcast, even by their mothers, fathers and other family members. The school of thought at the time was that sexual pleasure was reserved for intercourse between a man and a woman after marriage.

Anything outside those boundaries were considered “bad,” even though scientifically, masturbation and other forms of sexual pleasure are perfectly normal.

Men from older generations and even some younger men who come from strong religious backgrounds may feel inwardly that these types of sexual acts are, in fact, “wrong,” even if they don’t realize it.

This can actually prohibit him from feeling sexual pleasure during these types of activities, making it impossible for him to have an orgasm that way.

If you find yourself in this situation, it’s not a permanent problem. You can get the help of an unbiased counselor or sex therapist to help you obtain the tools you need to let go of any inner emotions that could be making it difficult or impossible for you to orgasm through any means but intercourse.

Trying New Techniques….

You can also have your partner try new and different techniques and you can be open with your partner and let them know what feels good and what doesn’t. While this is an approach that works well in conjunction with therapy or counseling, trying this alone likely won’t help you achieve an orgasm through oral sex or genital massage if you’ve previously been unable to do so.

If you and your therapist are beginning to work through some of your inner issues, you can work with your partner to find the type of stimulation that really gets you turned on and keeps you turned on. If you like stimulation a certain way, don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like and don’t like!

It can be frustrating not to be able to reach orgasm in any way other than intercourse, but it’s usually not something that lasts forever, especially if you get help in understanding what is causing the problem and how to get through it.

Shed the thoughts that oral sex and genital massage is “bad” or “wrong” and learn to accept sexual pleasure as a whole as normal. Mammals of all kinds seek sexual pleasure in a variety of ways, and it’s normal that you would too!

Your therapist can help you to work through your issues and your partner can help you find out what you like best sexually, so when you’re ready, you can have a great orgasm a number of different ways – not just intercourse!

How to Have 74% More Sex with your Partner

By jeannieruesch

What if I told you that reading romance novels meant more sex? Psychology Today revealed in a 2006 study that women who read romance novels have sex 74% more often with their partners than those who don’t. Seventy four percent. Caught your attention?

What Is It About Romance Novels?

Now, your first reaction is probably the same as anyone’s – of course it has to be the sex scenes. After all, romance novels are just porn for women, aren’t they? However, there is a strong distinction between pornography and romance, and that distinction is the difference in what arouses a man versus what arouses a woman.

No one understands this better than a publisher of romantic fiction. Women are the primary readers of romance, and as editor-in-chief of The Wild Rose Press, Rhonda Penders has to know how to give women what they want. “Men are very visual,” says Penders. “Women, however, need the physical part but we also need more than that. We need the emotional attachment; we need to feel there’s something else there. That’s not to say women don’t and can’t get aroused by watching an x-rated movie, certainly that happens as well, but we can read a love scene or an emotionally tugging scene and feel that pull of desire and that need to be close to someone we love in a sexual way.”

The Difference Between Men And Women

This is a defining point between arousal for a man and a woman. Men can be aroused simply by a naked woman, but the idea of a chick flick won’t do much. And while the visual of a naked man might earn a naughty thought from many women, it won’t do much else by itself. If you add that man as part of a fantasy—perhaps a hero from a “chick flick” or a romance novel or simply a daydream in a woman’s mind—suddenly he has the ability to kick up a woman’s proverbial heels.

Dr. Donald Symons, an evolutionary psychologist at UC Santa Barbara, found that women’s sexual fantasies focused not just on touching, but on feelings: the woman’s physical and emotional responses, her partner’s feelings, and the mood and ambience of the experience weighed in with equal importance. With romance stories that blend right into the fantasies many women daydream about—rekindling an old love, falling in love with a stranger, adversarial relationships turning romantic and many more—a woman can be that heroine while she reads.

Getting In The Mood

For most women, mental or emotional stimulation is crucial to “getting in the mood” and especially for today’s multi-tasking, busy woman, it’s often the most difficult to achieve. Too many things weigh on our minds, from family and children to career worries and everything in between. A romance novel provides a way for a woman to safely step outside of her everyday role, to set the world aside and live the fantasy of an intimate, romantic relationship for a few hours.

Is sex included? Absolutely. It’s a healthy part of any relationship, and the level of description in sex scenes can range from sweet to erotic. But the fantasy also includes the emotional roller-coaster. It’s the entire experience, from that first meeting to the intimate sex to the happy ending, that spur the feelings of intimacy most women need to crave sex. And in fact, you can break it down to the way a woman’s body actually responds to that happy stimulation. Phenylethylamine (PEA) is a natural chemical our bodies produce and PEA levels in your body react to sexual thoughts and feelings. Scientifically put, romance novels help spark those thoughts.

It’s All About The Chemicals

The chemical reaction is not lost on romance writers… it’s what we strive for, to help a woman get in touch with her emotions. Author Eliza Knight agrees: “Romances and eroticas that are written well spark some nerve or hormone in your body, and you just feel elated. When you get so happy and the ‘in love’ feeling, what other natural reaction is there than to saunter up to your man, strip him down and have your way with him?”

Is a romance novel a fix for a low libido? No, probably not. The woman’s mind and body are far more complicated and what works for one woman won’t always work for another. But romance novels can help women create healthy fantasies, especially for those who are uncomfortable thinking up their own.

From The Authors Of Romance Novels

“Until I started writing erotic, I had NO sex life. None. Zip. Zilch, “says erotica author Allie K. Adams. “Now that I write erotic, I’m finding myself more open to things I would have otherwise turned down. I’m also finding that I write my fantasies. If I can’t understand how something will work in my book, I call my husband and act it out.”

And in fact, sexier erotica romances are a booming industry these days. Author Bella Andre, known for her steamy love scenes, believes it’s about more than just fantasy. “Both reading and writing them is something that helps women take control of their own sexuality. It’s very freeing on both sides of the book.”

And indeed, for some women, reading a romance is a way to step outside of their “place” in life and be something else for a short time. Penders shares, “My funniest story is about the author who writes erotic romance and is a church secretary. How bad do you think that would be if she were to be found out?”

Only the secretary knows the answer to that, but I imagine it would make a pretty sexy romance novel.