sex tips – Page 210

eXtreme Sex Ed: I Feel Like I Have To Pee During Oral Sex!

Feeling like you have to urinate during oral sex, or any other type of sexual activity, can be quite unnerving the first time it happens. If it happens often, you might become even more confused or be tempted to avoid oral sex all together.

Is it normal to feel like you have to urinate during oral sex or other sexual activity? What can you do about it so you can enjoy your partner?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m relatively new at this whole sex thing. I grew up a pastor’s kid…. Anyways, I’m married now, and there are problems. I’ve got tons of questions but no one to ask. Questions that can’t be answered by books. Is it normal to feel like peeing when a person does oral on you? I kind of squirm, cause it feels like I want to pee, and I would be mortified if that happened. So I avoid it all together, which is a shame cause I’d like to know how it truly feels…

–Scarlett, NJ

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPq3_2ADKwI[/youtube]

The Whole Package

Your genitals actually come in a whole package. The muscles, nerve endings and organs all work together to help you to urinate, achieve orgasm and have sexual intercourse or other sexual activity.

Some of the muscles and nerve endings do two different things. The same muscles that contract while you urinate are also the same muscles that spasm during orgasm.

It’s only natural to consider that sometimes your body might get a little confused. You’re experiencing sexual pleasure and the muscles that are getting ready to spasm during an orgasm might actually make you feel like you have to urinate instead. This is totally normal and it actually happens to both women and men.

Although it’s perfectly normal to feel like you have to urinate during oral sex or other sexual activity, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating or confusing when it happens.

Prevention is Key

If you feel like you have to urinate during oral sex, does that mean you actually do have to urinate? Probably not, but it is certainly possible. If you find yourself feeling like you have to urinate during sexual pleasure, try to preempt yourself by using the restroom before you and your partner get busy.

This can help reduce or eliminate the feeling of having to urinate once you and your partner start pleasuring each other. If you feel the need to urinate during oral sex, feel free to stop your partner and let them know that you need to use the restroom.

You can incorporate it into your sex play by suggesting a hop in the shower with a nice soapy massage or you can just do your business and continue afterwards. It’s up to you based on how comfortable you feel with your partner at the time.

If It Happens

Although it probably won’t happen, if you do urinate a little during oral sex or other sexual stimulation, it’s really not a big deal. Most likely it will be a tiny, tiny amount and your partner may not actually notice it if you have other secretions going on as well. If your partner does notice, relax a little bit!

You’re not the only one it’s ever happened to and it might be good for a laugh later. There’s no need to avoid sexual pleasure, oral sex or other types of sexual activity because you’re afraid of urinating during the process.

When experiencing sexual pleasure in general, it’s likely that your body is going to do many different things, some of which might be considered embarrassing or uncomfortable.

You may pass gas or you may feel the need to urinate. Relax a little and chalk it up to the human body. Learn to accept your body, and your partner’s, and everything that comes with it.

Erotic Massage: How Erotic Touch Can Turn Up the Heat in Your Bedroom

By mayasilverman

It’s no secret that when it comes to turning up some serious heat in the bedroom, nothing is more effective, or pleasurable, than erotic touching.

After all, the right touch or caress can arouse both you and your partner for some exciting foreplay, bring you to the brink of nirvana over and over again and even rev you up for a second bed-shattering round.

It seems like there’s nothing that erotic touching can’t do for a healthy sexual relationship!

The Benefits of Erotic Touch

Yet the blissful benefits of erotic touch doesn’t have to be limited to your between-the-sheets playtime; in fact, erotic touch can do wonders for your relationship outside of the bedroom – and even boost your mental, physical and emotional health!

Here’s the latest scoop on how erotic touch can be used to boost your individual health and well-being and max out your pleasure!

Hardwired to be Touched

Humans are hardwired to be touched. Even during our modern age of hectic schedules and impossibly long work hours, there’s nothing more satisfying or soothing than the caress of a lover at the end of a busy day.

Even platonic touching can go a long way towards boosting our moods; remember all those times when a comforting hug or a reassuring pat from a friend made you feel a million times better than before? Well, there’s a biological reason for that response.

Long before humans developed language we relied on touch in order to communicate or express feelings of joy, sorrow, pain or love. Touching is an ingrained part of how we socialize with others. In fact, scientific studies have shown that the more healthy touching that an adolescent or child is exposed to, the more likely he or she will develop into a well-rounded adult.

Touching also plays a vital role in our emotional development as well and not just when we’re children. Studies have shown that adults who are regularly exposed to touch, say the comforting hug of a friend or the soothing caress of a lover, often report themselves as being happier and more content than those people who are touched less.

So it’s easy to see how touching can not only spice up your sex life, it can also emotionally heal you and your partner as well.

So if you’re wondering how you can incorporate more of the blissful benefits of sensual touch into your relationship, here’s the scoop on how to soothe and emotionally heal your partner though erotic massage and bring him or her to the brink of pleasure again and again!

Incorporate Sensual Touch Into Your Relationship

While we may all enjoy a good back and shoulder rub from time to time, erotic massage is in no way similar to the typical massage. Massages are often used to release tension and relax knotted muscles. While this may be a pleasurable bonus to erotic massage, this should not be the ultimate goal.

Erotic massage is a slow and sensual activity that involves a great deal of intimacy and nudity. If you’re usually uncomfortable with prolonged nude activity,perhaps you’re too self-conscious of your own body or what your lover thinks of your sack skills, then take the time to set the proper mood.

Set the Mood

Light a few candles, play some sensual music or even swap your normal bed sheets for something light and silky. If you really want to turn the heat up during the massage, use massage oils in rich sensual scents, like sandalwood or jasmine.

When beginning your erotic massage experience, remember to communicate with your partner at all times. Remember to stare into each other’s eyes as you exchange gentle kisses and soft caresses.

This connection will not only make your partner feel more aroused and heighten his or her sexual desire during the erotic massage, it will reassure your lover of the strength and importance of your emotional commitment. This reassurance plays a vital role in the overall emotional healing of your lover.

Performing the Erotic Massage

When performing the erotic massage, remember to keep your hands on your partner at all times. Use soft yet rhythmic strokes as you slowly vary between gentle and deep touches (remember to ask your partner the type of touch that he or she prefers). While performing the massage, lightly brush your partner’s body with your genitals and/or breasts, as this will prolong your partner’s desire by keeping them in a sexually aroused state.

Continue with the massage until you feel that your partner is ready to move on to intercourse. Remember, erotic massage doesn’t necessarily have to lead to sex, and it only should when your partner invites it.

After the Massage

After giving the erotic massage, take the time to hold your partner and communicate how much you truly care for them. This non-sexual touch is not only a tranquil way to wind down from the intense pleasure, it’s also a great way to max out the intimacy for as long as possible.

This is truly one of the greatest benefits of erotic massage: it’s not only a pathway to intense sexual pleasure, but it can improve the quality of both your relationship and your own emotional and mental well-being.

Make erotic massage an important bedroom ritual and feel the amazing benefits of sensual touching in your relationship!

Sexual Penetration And What It REALLY Means…

By wendystrgar

Language is the metaphor we use to communicate our deepest feelings. A couple’s sexuality is the most profound vehicle of communication available. The words we use and our physical language of love define our love experience.

What is penetration really?

Penetration is the word often used to describe the culminating act of sex. It’s a word I often use when describing the best use of a good lubricant. But it was just this week, after using the word in conjunction with the act, that I wondered what I was saying.

The verb to penetrate has six different definitions in the dictionary and as in the power of any metaphor, the meaning one attaches to the term may deeply influence our relationship to the act.

To Penetrate or Not to Penetrate

A lesbian friend of mine once told me that it is not uncommon for many of her friends to maintain a no penetration relationship, and among my heterosexual friends, it is not a small minority who avoid penetration with their spouses.

I never asked them but I wonder if, for them, the meaning of penetration feels like this definition of a military force entering into enemy territory or the depth of a projectile into a target. Certainly the idea of women as targets for men is rampant and so the need to protect oneself is also deeply held.

To penetrate also means to have an effect throughout, spread through; permeate, move deeply, or imbue.

Penetration Potential

Applied again as a metaphor for sexuality this penetration is an act that transforms, that has the potential of changing everything. This sexual act can have the force of inspiration, the possibility of being completely saturated with love.

The act of penetration is a force of nature that is loaded with meaning and mystery. Not surprisingly, to penetrate also means to gain insight and to have a marked effect on the mind and emotions.

The Language of Sexuality

Our language about our sexuality is as layered as the act itself, and knowing what you mean when you speak about love and sex can only be helpful.

Sexuality is a metaphor for many things in life. Those things that we share in our sexual encounters, like language, attitudes and openness with one another, have a long reach into the depth and closeness of our day-to-day relationships.

Thinking of your relationship as penetration is the word, the idea and the act. Penetration means all of these things all at once.

But if I were to make a leap, in the name of making love sustainable, it would be that couples who build a strong and consensual relationship with the meaning and act of penetration are much more likely to have a strong and consensual relationship to each other.

To learn more about Wendy Strgar, visit www.GoodCleanLove.com.

5 Tips For an Amazing Relationship

By loveandsex

Here are 5 tips to help you make yours a truly amazing and happy relationship…

1. Make Time For Your Relationship

Time and time again, people tell me my ideas are wonderful, but they feel they can’t be as loving or romantic as I am because they don’t have enough hours in the day.

I have the same amount of time given to me each day as everyone else does. It’s how I prioritize the time that might be different. Besides my relationship with my Creator, my time spent with Athena is most important to me.

More important than my job. More important than the money I make. More important than exercise. More important than my friends or other family members. And yes, even more important than Ashton, my darling little son.

I am not against nice items for those who can afford them and don’t have to work insane hours to attain them. But I am slightly perplexed by those who work too many hours or have a long daily commute just so they can have “things,” not realizing they are losing something that is even more valuable and precious.

2. Share Secrets Together

I’ve got a secret and I’m not sharing. Actually, I have a lot of secrets. There are a lot of things that are only known to Athena and me that keeps us close.

I like it when Athena shares things with me that she doesn’t share with others. It makes me feel special and unique in her eyes. I tell her things that I don’t tell my friends or family. It’s not like these are horrible things we have done that we can’t tell others. I just want Athena to feel like she knows me better than anyone else.

Make your sweetheart feel special. Always share important things with them first. Let some things remain a secret between the two of you for a little while before letting the rest of the world know all about your personal life.

3. Have Date Nights

Without special time together, relationships can pull apart or simply become stale. But you can’t simply replace doing nothing with doing the exact same thing week after week. The oh-so-predictable dinner and a movie can be all right if mixed up with some other types of dates.

Here are a few suggestions: Bookstore, library, museum, zoo or park date, or together collect clothes for a shelter.

4. Spice Up Your Love Life

If you find that sex is becoming very sporadic in your relationship (and you are not happy with that) consider scheduling “sex nights.” Just like date nights, schedule one or two days each week for physical intimacy. Some people find the idea of planned sex off-putting at first, but later come to anticipate the weekly ritual. Having sex planned in advance makes for prolonged foreplay!

5. Get Your Debt Under Control

If you want to have a blissful relationship, you will need to get your debt under control (or at least a plan to do so). Otherwise, your debt will control you and affect you physically and psychologically.

When you get a paycheck, the first thing you should do is set aside money for charity/church. Doesn’t seem logical, but it works. Sit down with your partner and discuss all aspects of your family budget.

Only when you analyze your spending habits will you fully realize where you are wasting money. It’s a great opportunity to talk about your goals and dreams. Realize that frivolously spending money can be a sign of disrespect for your marriage and mate.

If you would like a bigger diamond ring or a fancier car, ask yourself why. Take a quick inventory of all the items you own but could really live without. Consider how much you paid for them. What if you didn’t buy those items and had all that money in savings instead? Would it make a difference in how you view your job, your family and your future?

Should I Really Be Worried About STDs?

By loveandsex

When it comes to sexual activity, it can sometimes be confusing as to what can transmit sexually transmitted diseases and what can’t. What types of STD’s can be contracted during which kinds of sexual activity and when are you completely safe?

If you have oral sex can you common STDs like Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, or Herpes?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH9Xov22Mnc[/youtube]

Sexual Activity and STDs.

There’s a reason they’re called “sexually transmitted diseases.” You can contract them through virtually any type of sexual activity, including oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal intercourse.

Some sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS, HIV and Hepatitis C can be transmitted via blood to blood contact such as receiving a tattoo or piercing with a needle that isn’t sterile. When you have sexual contact or blood to blood contact with someone, you put yourself at risk for contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease. How can you protect yourself?

HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis C

HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis C can be spread via blood to blood contact or through vaginal and penile secretions. This includes semen and pre-ejaculation secretions.

The best way to protect yourself against these types of STDs is to use condoms and dental dams while having oral sex, anal sex and vaginal intercourse, make sure any tattoo or piercing artist uses a sterilized needle and don’t use intravenous drugs.

Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis and Other Infections

These types of sexually transmitted diseases are known as viral infections. They are spread by any sexual contact at all, but not through blood to blood contact.

While these are particularly unsavory STDs, they are most often treated with an antibiotic regimen and can be cured. If left alone long enough, a Chlamydia, Gonorrhea or Syphilis infection can cause a great deal of other bodily damage, including muscle and brain damage, and more commonly sterility.

To protect against these types of sexually transmitted diseases, you should use a condom or a dental dam during any type of sexual activity. Oral sex should also be protected against because viral and bacterial STDs can set up host in the mouth and throat.

Other Types Of STDs

Other types of STD’s include genital herpes and genital warts and are more difficult to protect against than other types of sexually transmitted diseases. As these types of STDs can actually take up host in the pubic area of the genitals, a condom or a dental dam may not be enough to protect yourself from contracting one.

This is where STD testing comes in handy. A regular doctor’s exam can rule out any of these types of infections. Don’t have sexual contact with someone who is experiencing an outbreak of genital herpes and genital warts and don’t have sexual contact with anyone who appears to have any type of sores on their genitals.

If you are worried about contracting sexually transmitted diseases, it is important to take as many steps towards safety as you can. Regularly get tested for STDs and make sure you wear condoms and use dental dams when having sex.

If performing erotic massage, you can wear latex or vinyl gloves and if having anal sex or rimming, you can use a dental dam or a square of saran wrap. Know who you’re with and who they’ve been with and always be aware of what you’re doing. If you’re smart and safe, you can significantly reduce your risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases.