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How To Critique Your Girl’s Sex Skills

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Sex tips are something you often want to give a woman, but approaching the subject does take some finesse. Here’s how to offer your lover guidance in bed.

Getting your girl to be better in bed? Now that’s a tall order! Considering you have to keep her ego intact along the way. So, how does one give corrective comments?

The objective is not to point an accusing finger but to enrich both your sexual experiences, and you can’t do that by trying to beat her to pulp. Attacking her ego is both stupid and useless – stupid in that it backfires and generates more of what you’re complaining about, and useless in that people will always protect & defend their egos.

Don’t Rub It In

“You’re terrible,” is the last thing you want to say. Why? Because it breaks her, but doesn’t tell her what to do. Real feedback tells the receiver how to make better. “You’re terrible” is not feedback, it’s a waste of spit. She doesn’t suck, she is undergoing the process of becoming “The Best You’ve Ever Had” – so guide her through it.

This is really obvious enough, but you’ll be surprised how some guys treat a lady. Many harbor secret delight in berating their partners, deriving pleasure by making them feel bad.

Be Non Threatening

Use the magic word: TRY. Believe me, she will. Say during a handjob, “Honey, why don’t you TRY to use both hands.” It’s non- threatening, it doesn’t focus on mistakes and it tells her exactly what to do. That’s feedback.

The Sandwich Technique

Use this as a corrective technique to give her sex tips. It is named such because of the specific way comments are sequenced – the negative/corrective comment is strategically sandwiched between 2 positives, so the negative is eased in without unneeded friction. The result? She learns she sucks, but still feels hopeful and happy about it.

You don’t position negative comments in glaring light, therefore sparing the receiver from unnecessary distress, giving her a graceful exit – this is its beauty.

Don’t worry, your sex tips will still get across, it’s not imperceptible, it just won’t be as scarring. She’ll instead bask in the glow of the praise and use that energy to work on her issues. It’s both uplifting and corrective, two birds with one stone!

It’s an effective way to make somebody shape-up their sorry asses. Not everybody can handle “tough love,” and if you’ve been trying it without results, try a Sandwich. Positioning yourself as an ally gives your remarks a fair hearing.

Look For What’s Hot

Look for things your partner is good at. Come up with at least two. There has to be something, something she doesn’t suck at. I assure you, you will find it, you don’t need to lie through your teeth on this one. It can be as simple as how her lips feel when she smiles while kissing or the warmth of her palms on your back when you’re on top of her, or the fact that she makes sure you orgasm first before she helps herself. A simple, “You rock!,” will make her day.

And even if you’re kind of stretching the truth on a compliment, it will still do wonders – because one way of creating a great lover out of your partner is by mentioning that she already is. (Another one of those cheap psychological tricks you may use.) If she’s good at giving a blowjob, make her even better by mentioning how great she is at it.

I assure you, the next time she’s giving you one, she’ll show off her skills and prove you right on that compliment. It’s like telling a girl she looks great in a red dress, making her feel so good about herself, and finding out later that because of your comment, she starts wearing red everyday.

What’s Not

Think of the things she could do better. Is it her tiny mouth? Or the fact that she yells another man’s name when you make love? Think about the things you would change in her sexual technique and how you might change them. Although this is probably easier to do than it is to think of things she does well (if she’s really bad in bed) and you can think of a whole list of things she can improve upon, stick to one or two things at a time. The sandwich technique doesn’t work very well if you follow a compliment with an entire list of things she sucks at. Once she’s mastered something you’ve suggested she do better, you can choose a new “complaint” to use the sandwich technique with.

Sandwich the sex tips between the positives, and you have a comment that not only boosts her ego, but made her a better partner as well. Highlight the positives and teach her something on the side.

50 Shades Of Grey – The TRUTH About “Girl” Porn

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50 Shades Of Grey is one of the best selling books of all time – and you’ve likely heard about the darker sexual plot. Is erotica about to become mainstream?

Scores of women, all over the world are obsessed with 50 Shades Of Grey – an S&M related erotic thriller. It’s given birth to an entirely new genre of literature: “girl porn.” But what does that mean, exactly? What does it mean to women? To men? More importantly, what does it mean to you?

Sorry, It’s Not “New”

The whole “girl porn” thing isn’t new. Books like “My secret garden” have told stories of female centered erotica for years, and the concept is as old as time itself. It’s just becoming more and more prevalent and mainstream. Why? Part of it is feminism, partly due to relaxing social attitudes towards sex and sexuality, but mostly it’s due to one thing: technology. It used to be if you were a woman and you wanted to get your girl porn on, you had to buy a book, and carry that book around wherever you wanted to go and read it.

Everyone likes a little naughty reading time, but nobody wants to really be outed as doing it. Enter smartphones. And tablets. Amazon and Apple sell the tablets simply to drive purchases of digital content through the mediums they rule with an iron fist. conspiracy theories aside, this allows you to buy as much girl porn as you can stand, read it wherever you like and no one will no about it.

You might be asking yourself “Tony, are you saying that woman on the subway who looked way too happy to be there was getting her girl porn on? Am I really to believe that she was reading 50 Shades Of Grey?” Yes grasshopper. She was and you should. The explosion that is 50 Shades of Grey is directly related to the explosion of iPads, Kindle Fires, iPhones, Android phones, android tablets, and the like.

Girls Like It Dirty!

Here’s another truth: women are dirty. They talk dirty and they want dirty things. Chris Rock has this joke: “your woman is nastier and dirtier and more sexual than you ever imagined. She’s dying to do it. But anything you mutter ain’t getting done.” Women have always been this sexual. They’ve always been into porn. They are just into a different kind of porn than men are. Don’t believe that women are pervs too? Two words: Magic Mike. Women losing their minds over have naked shirtless men who are ripped and in great shape. They eat that up. Literally.

Women have always been massively sensual creatures, but they’ve been bread to repress that. Times are changing. That repression is being peeled away layer by layer. Thanks to technology and the internet, women in particular have access to any kind of sex and relationship type they could possibly want, and access to any kind of girl porn they want. They know it’s out there, and that helps them know that it’s okay, whatever that it is.

The Domination Factor

50 Shades Of Grey also reveals and increasing desire for women to be submissive and dominated. Often the women who exhibit the strongest desire to be dominated in the bedroom are the ones who are most dominant outside of it. It may seem a bit screwy, but it’s not. It actually makes quite a bit of sense when you think about it.

There is so much pressure on women today, most of it put on women by themselves and other women. They are obligated to “have it all” whatever that means. They are earning more than ever, having more responsibilities than ever. There’s an ever increasing number of roles women are having to play and as they take many of the leadership and powerful roles that men have traditionally played, they begin to feel the same pressures.

With all the hats women wear today, it’s no wonder that they want to throw them all off (in addition to their clothes). Being submissive allows you to surrender control and not have to worry about anything. You can use it as an excuse to give into any number of secret sex related desires you’ve long held (orgies, swinging, anal sex, lesbianism, bondage, etc), and in your mind you’re totally in the clear because you were “forced” to do it, but really, that isn’t true at all.

You were simply creating a scenario where you could finally allow yourself to have the kind of pleasure you’ve long desired, but do it in a way that’s safe for your mind and body. And for a woman, that’s an incredibly appealing proposition. That’s what these girl porn books offer.

4 HOT Advanced Sex Positions

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Sex positions can make a dull sex life incredible all over again! Here are four advanced sex positions for you to try TONIGHT to turn the heat UP!

1. Side By Side Position 1

If you’ve never tried having sex in a side-by-side position, then now is the time. Many couples find these positions are not only conducive to orgasms but it also allows for more physical contact and a mutual feeling of closeness which, let’s be honest, you want to feel with a special partner. With this first example, you and your partner must lie on your sides facing each other. You’ll need to be as close as possible. Also, make sure that your feet are facing your headboard. The sturdy surface will act as a brace for you when things get really hot.

Now gently lift your partner’s top leg in the air and slide inside her before placing her leg over yours. She should wrap her leg around you to give you more leverage during penetration. This way the two of you can work together to set a rhythm pleasing to both of your bodies while you also continue some heavy foreplay.

2. Side By Side Position 2

Here’s another way you can enjoy the side-by-side position while helping your partner reach orgasm. This time you won’t be facing each other. Instead, you’ll be on your side behind her. In order to penetrate her, you may need to raise her upper leg a little. Once you are inside and have found a steady thrusting rhythm you should gently lean her backward so she is almost lying on top of you.

Now while you are still thrusting in and out of her vagina, use your hand or a vibrator to stimulate her clitoris.

3. Grinding

When women masturbate with their fingers, they often rub their clitoris using circular movements. Since you know that, you should attempt to use similar circular motions during penetration. To do this, you need to grind into your partner the way you would if you were doing some erotic dancing. Move your hips in a circular motion and make sure that you are pressing against her groin area. The combination of your movement and the pressure on the area will stimulate her clitoris and bring her to orgasm.

4. Alphabet Position

If your partner is more comfortable with the missionary position, but she is still having trouble reaching orgasm, then this position may help. Again, she should be lying on her back, preferably on the floor or a large comfortable bed. You’ll spread out across her on your side, perpendicularly so that the two of you resemble a lowercase “T.”

Place her legs over your body or have one of them hanging off the bed, whichever is most comfortable, and slide your penis inside of her. At the same time you penetrate her, begin using your finger to gently massage her clitoris. Try to mimic the intensity of penetration with your clitoral stimulation. For example, if you’re doing a slow grind, use slow circular motions to stimulate the clitoris.

Things Never To Do In The Bedroom

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Sex tips aren’t always about what to do during sex, but also what NOT to do. Here’s what you need to steer clear of, or else!

Everyone talks so much about what to do in the bedroom, but what about what not to do? What are the deal breakers you need to know about?

What She Said:

When it comes to sex, anything goes and every person brings their own fetishes, fantasies and turn-ons into the bedroom (or closet, back seat of car, laundry room, couch etc.) If two consenting adults are ready and willing there is nothing that should ever be considered taboo.

The only thing that should never ever be done is faked enjoyment, desire or passion This goes for men and women. You can tell when your partner is faking it and not just an orgasm but faking the desire. Maybe he/she gets a little too into the sex, like over the top moans or facial expressions.

You can clearly tell they are trying too hard and that is a huge turn off! When you feel or see your partner check out or see that they are not even showing signs of excitement, its hard to have fun yourself. There is nothing wrong with not being in the mood and you can fake-it-till-you-make-it, but sometimes if you know for sure you are not going to get pleasure,how can you completely give it?

What He Said:

You should never surprise anyone in the bedroom. You can’t just think “Hmm….I bet she’d really like me to have anal sex with her right now” and then haul off and do it. Not only do you need lots of lube, that’s just not something you can try and find out the hard way if your partner is into that.

You shouldn’t be discussing much in the bedroom, either. Now is not the time to have long, drawn out in depth conversations about what you’re into or not into. Actually, you shouldn’t be talking about much of anything. The conversation should consist of things like “yes! Yes! Yes!” or “harder/faster” or “do this or that.” And of course dirty talk is always okay.

But you shouldn’t be talking about much else, because if you are, then you’re thinking, and if you’re thinking, you’re not feeling. The more in your head you are, the less in your body you are and that means less getting naughty.

Don’t do anything you see in porn either. Yes, I know, it looks hot. Sometimes it is hot. But they are highly trained professionals in peak physical condition and it’s still a lot for them to pull some of that stuff off. You are not a trained professional. Don’t try and be one.

And don’t for the sake of all that is good and holy, ever tape yourself having sex. I don’t care how hot you are. If I have learned nothing else from my friend in the porn industry, I have learned this: leave the fucking on film to the professionals. Even if you’re a professional model having sex with one or more other professional models, you won’t look anywhere near as good as they do screwing on film.

Why? They know their best angles. They have the right lighting that makes their bodies look amazing. They have Photoshop to take out any blemish, stretch mark, or anything else they don’t want you to see. They also know all the best angles and they will only show you those. They cut out the stuff that isn’t hot, or that makes them look like mere mortals copulating on film. They have an entire production team surrounding them to make them look amazing at all times.

You have none of this. You will not look as good as they do doing it, and you’ll probably beat yourself up about it. Not to mention that they have a job that consists of them having oral sex, intercourse and a host of other sex acts on tape for the world to see. You work in accounting and your wife is a middle school teacher. If that ever gets out, and there’s always a chance that it will, will you be able to keep your job or spot on the city council? No, not so much. If you’re into swinging, cool. If you’re sex prowess is legendary, great! But don’t ever, ever, put it on film.

And for God’s sake make sure your smart phones are in the other room. If you take naughty photos on your phone and your phone gets stolen, the first thing that’s going to happen is that who ever steals it is going to post your nude photos up on your facebook account (which, conveniently is already installed on your phone if you’re like most. And your phone always has internet access so hackers can get your photos off your phone even if you don’t lose it.

What To Do When Sex Hurts

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Sex tips aren’t always about how to do it better. If sex hurts, you need some suggestions on how to fix the issue. Find out now how to relieve sex pain!

For the woman that finds sex painful, it can be rare to find a position or angle that will help her orgasm with any kind of ease. If she has had this issue for any length of time, she has already associated intercourse with pain in her mind, so overcoming this can be incredibly difficult. There are a handful of reasons why a woman might find sex painful or uncomfortable, but only a doctor can decide what the underlying symptoms might be.

First Timers

Although it’s nothing more than a myth that sex always hurts the first time, for some women, especially if she has never used a sex toy or tampon, it can be very overwhelming. She may have a particularly firm hymen, or she may not be adequately aroused and lubricated to ensure safe penis passage.

Some women also clench up during their first few sexual encounters because they aren’t body-aware and are nervous, or anticipating some form of pain. Go slowly, but if you cannot enter her one finger without serious discomfort, it’s time to visit her doctor.

A Funny Feeling

For many women, sex is more than just a penis entering her vagina. It is a full-body experience, and one that she takes very seriously. If she’s not feeling into it, if you’ve recently had a fight or are otherwise emotionally disconnected from one another, it could be incredibly difficult to make sex work at all, let alone getting her to let go and release.

Take some time to woo your lover again with bubble baths, massages, lots of kissing and foreplay, and try out one of the more intimate, face-to-face positions in this eBook as a starting point. Once she’s feeling comfortable with you, this too shall pass.

Lack Of Lubrication

A woman who has just given birth, or one who is over the age of 40 will likely need a bottle of lubricant nearby during most sexual encounters, but there are a lot of other factors that could inhibit a woman’s ability to get moist. Make sure she’s really excited, because for most women that is the only reason that keeps her from getting slippery.

If you are both sure she’s adequately aroused, grab some water-based lube for all-round, long lasting use. Warm it up with your hands first so it doesn’t surprise her, then lovingly massage her labia and vaginal opening with a little drop before entering her.

Have Patience

Yes, some women can orgasm quickly during intercourse, but this kind of quick release is a learned skill that she has to perfect over an extended period of time. For most women, getting to orgasm will take at least twenty minutes, but could be even closer to the forty minute mark with foreplay and fingering, especially if she hasn’t reached climax during sex before, or is still learning to make it there consistently.

Take your time when seducing your partner and really enjoy the experience for as long as you can. You don’t need to clock-watch – just chill out and take your time. Rushing her will only increase her anxiety about reaching the mark, and you’ll be defeated before you’ve even begun.

Allergies Or Medications

The special spots between a woman’s legs are highly sensitive, and for some women, prone to rashes or irritation. If she is complaining before sex that she’s not feeling 100% ‘down there,’ take the time to investigate and ask questions. Has she used any new products lately, such as a douche or laundry soap? Have you changed brands of condoms or lube? Did she get sunburned, has her personal sexual activity changed?

Have you been playing with food or other strange insertions? Any of these things can impair her comfort and ability to climax. If after a week or so of waiting for things to heal or clear up after changing products or habits, a trip to her doctor is the next step.

Irregularity

No, I don’t mean her behaviour in this case, but rather how things are flowing ‘down there.’ When her body is backed up or her cycle is strange, she may struggle with feeling sexy, or worry that she’ll have to run to the bathroom in the middle of a session. She might not have the body-comfort necessary to share this kind of information with you, so you may just need to wait a day or two if you think this could be an issue, and see if it works itself out.

A Jaded Past

When a woman has been sexually abused or treated poorly in any past sexual relationship, it will affect your relationship with her, no questions asked. If she is willing to talk about it with you, listen carefully to determine what bothers her most. You need to determine her triggers and avoid situations that might remind her of the past. If past abuse holds her up sexually, suggest the two of you go to professional help together so that she can move passed her past, and you can learn how to please her in new and exciting ways.

When To Call The Doctor

There are a few instances where a medical problem comes in between you and your partner’s personal enjoyment. For women who find sex extremely painful during penetration, it might be necessary to visit a doctor and rule out Vaginismus. It is a relatively rare condition, but there are options for treatment. Take a trip with her to her gynaecologist, or even her G.P. If you would like to learn more about Vaginismus, show an interest and participate in the process, so you can find out what you can do to help her scream in ecstasy instead of pain.