Domination can be fun during sex, but there’s times where it crosses the line. Are you the kind of guy that can be too rough during sex? Find out now!
Do Men Go Overboard On Purpose?
Though not really wishing to hurt or disrespect his partner, he’s just one sold to the image of a man holding his girl by the head, shoving his equipment down her throat during a blowjob. He doesn’t mean to be a pig, he just thinks it’s supposed to be that way and actually hopes his lady loves it! Not hearing any real grievances from her, he gives her a rough time.
There’s this idea that women want their men to dominate – that women want to be sexually led. I have found this assertion to be very true.
Of course, a woman wants her man to assume control. Dominance themes populate a woman’s fantasies and she cherishes the feeling of being overwhelmed, overpowered and unable to restrain her man’s carnal cravings. She wants her partner to take her, bring her unimaginable pleasure and have his way with her body. Many times, the desire for this is repressed.
Unfortunately, the manner in which many guys administer dominance, as a response to this need, suggests only a partial understanding of the concept. For many, real control is manifested when one makes a girl do something she doesn’t approve of – say, an almost impossible sex position. Or making her swallow semen even though she genuinely doesn’t want to. For them, that’s power.
What Women REALLY Want
But do you know what women actually mean when they say, “I want my man to take control”?
This: I WANT MY MAN TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
So while men gloat, “Wow, she wants me to take the lead, I can do anything I want,” women are thinking, “I just really want him to take good care of me.”
Can their thinking be more opposite?!
Being given control is no license to be unreasonable, for dominance never equals disrespect. Control need not be rude or abusive, it can be dignified and erotically irresistible at the same time. Yeah, you can probably do anything you want, but be responsible.
She gave you control in the first place because she trusts that you know what you’re doing. Leading the mattress moves gives one the opportunity to prove her right on that decision. (Why would you ever want to prove her wrong on that point?)
Every now and then, a woman craves the feeling of being roughed up. Even the non BDSM types want that. But lo and behold, rough and hard is just one of the ways. Having it as a pattern and the sole sexual theme is actually counterproductive. When you’re giving her intense anal sex, with your hands on her neck and she’s thinking, “There has to be something better than this,” that’s already something else.
How To Do Domination The Right Way
If you want to execute the dominance theme on a given night, and with the desired results, make sure of one very important thing. The proper execution of rough & hard hinges on this – HIGH AROUSAL. Not just simple arousal, but head-spinning desire, ushered in by plenty of teasing. When she’s burning with lust, that’s when rough sex can get you the desired effects. (Ironically, a successful execution of dominant sex is built through slow and gentle coaxing.)
As I’ve said, the longing to be dominated is a repressed one, and women are scarcely aware of it. What brings this impulse to surface and fore is high arousal. Unless a girl is intensely excited, she’ll be turned-off and take offense with the perceived manhandling. She won’t appreciate your overly aggressive moves; you’re being too rough with her. But when she’s burning hot, she sheds that rational, defensive normalcy of polite society and becomes very amenable to your advances.
It’s amazing how sexual palatability changes when a woman is crazy horny. Arousal gives leeway for your dominance so you can execute it with the desired results. (She may give ‘token resistance,’ but this doesn’t last very long.)
Rough and hard cannot be executed on a nightly basis as it will rapidly lose its charm – the true masters of wild sex know this. Avoid the routine trap, having it as a pattern turns one raw lover into an incompetent jerk.
What Does She Mean When She Says “Be Gentle?”
We have no scale for it, but there’s such a thing as MAN GENTLE and WOMAN GENTLE – and there’s a big difference. Gentle for you may still be rough for her. MAN GENTLE is not enough – it’s the wrong yardstick.
Why?
In case you didn’t know, men and women live in different worlds. The sensual-gentle approach does not blend in our dog-eat-dog world where we are expected to be strong and aggressive. Outside the love chambers, guys are encouraged to be rough. Gentle is lame. As cowboys, we’re highly applauded for wrestling with bulls. As business men, we vanquish the competition. As athletes, we learn to give the most punishing defense, and in return, earn multimillion dollar contracts.
And of course, women love these exploits. But they don’t live in that kind of world.
In order to approximate the female version, a man has to be extra-mild & extra-careful because the genders have different thresholds, and therefore, different judgments of what is supposed to be this or that. It is a common situation where a girl feels roughed up despite a dude’s best efforts. It should be made clear that every time she drops the “G” word on you, she’s referring to the female version of things.
