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Can Sex Toys Spice Up Our Relationship?

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Sex toys are great for solo play, but can they make things better with your partner? Find out now!

Should I bring sex toys into our bedroom? I’m looking to spice up my sex life with my man, but I’m not sure how he’ll respond. I really want to try them. How do I work them in? (No pun intended.)

What She Said:

I’m going to cut right to the chase – Yes! Sex toys can add a new level of satisfaction for both you and your mate. There’s no shame in making them a part of your lovemaking.

Talk to your man first before introducing the toys of your (and his!) choice. Make sure the conversation takes place in a neutral zone – say the living room instead of the bedroom. It sounds like you’re slightly nervous about his response, so surprising him with a dildo between the sheets is definitely not the way to go!

Be Positive

It’s important to place emphasis on the positive. This is not personal. Let him know you love having sex with him and enjoy his lovemaking techniques. You don’t want to make him feel defensive or inadequate.

After you’ve established that you’re happy in the bedroom, let him know you’d like to add even more to the joy you two share. Have a catalogue (or website) marked with some ideas of things you’d like to try. Odds are he’ll be thrilled to help you explore. After all, the more aroused you are, the better it is for him too! Loving partners are usually open to growing and sharing – I have no doubt this will be the case here as well.

The final step is to go shopping together – either to your local sex store or online (Adam & Eve is great AND you can use Dan & Jennifer’s special offer code for 50% OFF almost any item and FREE shipping – offer code is DANJENN) and pick out your new pleasure seekers. Run home, wash ‘em off and go have fun!

What He Said:

Yeah, sex toys can help, If you can handle them. Not everyone is into that kind of thing. Many people are pretty vanilla out there. But everyone can get a little bit wilder, all they need is a little bit of encouragement. Just a gentle nudge in the right direction.

How Does Your Partner Feel About Sex Toys?

Notice I didn’t say a push or shove. This can’t just be your idea. This has to be his idea too. Get his input on the idea and see how he feels about certain toys and most importantly, try and find out what his specific turn ons or turn offs are and more importantly, why. Maybe he had a bad experience with a previous partner. Maybe he’s afraid he won’t be enough for you. Maybe he’s open to using them, but not shopping for them in public. Whatever the issue it can be overcome, but you have to find out what it is first.

After you do that, be very open to trying these things and be curious and non judgmental. Don’t be too attached to any one outcome. You’ll find one or more toys that you both will like, but it might take a little time to do so. And make sure to only nudge, never push.

How Much Anal Sex Is Too Much?

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Anal sex requires some gentleness to begin with – you’ve really got to be aware of how hard you’re going, how fast you’re going and how much lube you’re using (probably not enough!) If you follow all of the anal sex “rules,” you should be pretty safe – but what if you’re doing it pretty much non-stop? Sure, you’re observing all of the precautions, but how can you tell if you’ve gone overboard with the backdoor action?

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Taking Precautions With Anal Sex

If you’ve read anything about anal sex at all, you probably already know that you have to take precautions. It’s not at all like vaginal sex. The anus doesn’t lubricate itself, so you want to make sure to use plenty of lube when you do engage in the backdoor fun. Also, going slow, communicating and working your way up in size (do not start with a giant dildo) is in order when it comes to anal sex. The tissue of the anus is very tender and thin, and can tear easily, so always be gentle and slow!

Make Sure You’re Relaxed And Aroused

A vagina can often be penetrated at any time – lube or no lube. There have been countless women who have succumbed to their partner’s wishes for a “quickie” and got it on without being relaxed or aroused – but the sex still took place, right? Not so with anal sex. The receiving partner must be relaxed and aroused for this to work properly! If the anus is not relaxed, it is going to be much, much more difficult for anything to be inserted – if it is possible at all.

Also, lube is not optional for anal sex! You may think it is for vaginal sex (and in some cases it is, but lube is always handy), but it is absolutely MANDATORY for backdoor action! Use a good, thick lube that doesn’t get sticky or dry out easily.

Starting With Sex Toys

A lot of people like to start anal play by using sex toys. This is because they can start small and work their way up (often, starting with just the fingers or a penis is too much at first) – and that’s a good thing. You can start with a tiny butt plug (they make ones that are really small) and graduate to larger objects as you become accustomed to the feeling. Always make sure that your anal sex toys have a flared or ring style base, or they can get lost in there!

When To Stop

It’s not hard to tell when you’ve had enough anal sex – in fact, knowing when to put the brakes on things is relatively easy. If you experience pain at all, it’s time to stop! Plain and simple. There’s no grey areas here – if it hurts at all, find something else to do! Other reasons to stop may be if you notice any bleeding, or if you just feel like something isn’t right. Listen to your body and when it tells you that it’s had enough, you should know it!

The “amount” of anal sex that crosses the line varies from person to person. One person may not be able to tolerate as much as another, so only you will know what the right “amount” is for you. Again, let your body guide you. If you feel discomfort, pain or just want to stop, go ahead and stop!

A Note On Desensitizing Lubes

Never use a desensitizing lube on your anus during any type of anal play. This actually “numbs” the area from feeling pain – which can seem like a good thing, but it’s not. If you’re not aware of any pain during anal sex, it’s likely something could go very wrong and you wouldn’t be aware of it until later. Pain is your body’s way of saying “Stop!”

Symptoms Of Anal Sex That Is Too Intense

If you’re having anal sex that is too intense or goes overboard, you may notice these things:

  • If you’ve been using big sex toys, such as a large butt plug (or your partner has a really big penis), you may notice that your anus stretches and it becomes more and more difficult to control your bowel movements
  • Pain or discomfort that goes beyond just when you’re having anal sex
  • Bleeding or hemorrhoids

Communicating With Your Partner

Communication is essential for successful anal sex. You want to be in constant communication about what feels good, and more specifically, what doesn’t. If something hurts, don’t be tempted to just “endure it” or “push through it” just because your partner enjoys it. And if you’re the giving partner, you definitely want to be asking your lover if everything is going okay on a regular basis.

The 10 CRAZIEST Things To Do In The Bedroom!

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Sex doesn’t have to be mundane – open your mind to some of the wildest things you can do during sex and find out just how amazing it can be!

What She Said:

Missionary

The good, old-fashioned missionary position. Sure, it has some stodgy connotations due to being heavily (though erroneously) associated with the teachings of the medieval Catholic Church and their subsequent missionaries. Famed sex researcher Alfred Kinsey may have gotten his facts wrong, but that doesn’t take away from this pleasurable act. The missionary position remains popular due to the participant’s ability to kiss, make close eye contact and increase skin-to-skin sensations. This can get totally crazy if you let it. Sounds good to me!

Sixty Nine

While it evokes images of the swinging Sixties, this position is far from out of date. Known for it’s distinct advantage to both give and receive oral pleasure, it remains at the top of many people’s list as an energetic and fun form of foreplay.

Reverse Cowgirl

Giddy up, partner – literally! The reverse cowgirl provides the partner on top with the ability to control speed and thrust – and provides women the opportunity to play with her man’s balls as well as her own clitoris. Any arguments?

Mutual Masturbation

What better way to develop intimacy while showing each other what you like than through mutual masturbation?

Snuggling

Aw, heck. Call me a romantic, but nothing makes me happier than cuddling in bed while resting my head on my partner’s heart. And it’s certainly a bonus if he plays with my hair!

What He Said:

I like her suggestions, so I will add a few different ones to the pile.

Same Room Sex

If you’re not into swinging, or your just thinking about it, or you simply have voyeuristic tendencies, this option is for you. It’s pretty simple. Two (or more) couples get it on in the same room. It’s hot, it’s safe, and you get all the visual benefits of swinging without any of the negatives (STDs).

Performance Art

If you’ve ever had voyeuristic fantasies, or wanted to try a three way, this is a great baby step in this direction. You and your partner simply get it on in front of an audience of your choosing. It can be a man, a woman, a group of people, whatever. They can’t touch. They can only look, and they have to be naked.

Threesome

Yes, it’s a bit cliché, but it’s damn fun. They can be two girls one guy, or one girl two guys, either way you slice it’s good times had by all. The only rule here is that everyone has to be on the same page. If one guy isn’t into double penetration or having his naughty parts potential touch another dude’s or if one of the girl’s isn’t bisexual, it won’t work. They can be heterosexual in nature, where people of the same gender don’t play together or they can be a bi-sexual free for all. Whatever you decide!

Sex Toy Time

The Liberator sex wedge is a fantastic accessory for those looking to enhance their love making. There a host of different accessories you can bring into the bedroom. Dildos, strap ons, anal beads, butt plugs, cock rings and anything else you can find in a sex shop can be great accessories for your love making. Try it all and remember, anything goes as long as it’s safe and consensual.

Lights, Camera, Action!

Boudouir photography is a great way to spice up your love life and give your lover a gift that will turn him or her on for years to come. You can shoot at their studio or even in your home. You can also hire a video production team to make your very own sex tape! Just remember to retain copyright on the material and prevent them from putting your images up on your site.

Penis Extensions – Can They Spice Up Your Sex Life?

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Penis extensions are for guys who can’t please a woman with their penis, right? Wrong! They can actually make great sex with your lover even better. You might think, “Why would a guy want to put a fake one on?” Truth is, they do make it a little more difficult to feel sex with your lover – but wouldn’t that make it ideal for men with premature ejaculation? Also, lots of couples enjoy how different intercourse feels when the male partner is wearing a penis extension – he feels bigger going in and it certainly feels bigger to her. Experimenting with penis extensions can be a lot of fun, even if you have average or larger sized genitals!

What Are Penis Extensions?

Think of penis extensions as dildos that fit over the head of your member. They are generally made of similar material (such as jelly, silicone or realistic skin-like material) and look very realistic. They extend the length of the penis considerably, allowing a shorter man to penetrate further into his partner’s vagina.

Average sized men can also use penis extensions if their partners desire a very deep, intense penetration. Some penis extensions require straps to keep them in place, while others simply slip over the head and stay there due to the soft, stretchy material that hugs the shaft.

Don’t They Reduce Pleasure? Why Would A Guy Want To Wear One?

It is true that penis extensions reduce some of the pleasurable sensations experienced during intercourse. However, many men and couples feel as though the benefits outweigh this. And of course, many men choose to wear a penis extension some of the time – while still having intimate, pleasurable sex with their partners without wearing one.

  • Men who suffer from premature ejaculation may find penis extensions incredibly useful. They reduce the amount of sensation that the nerves in the shaft feel, so he may be able to last longer.
  • Men who have smaller penises or simply just want more than what they already have will find that they can reach farther and stimulate more of their partner’s hot spots than with their own.
  • Many guys enjoy the feeling of being able to penetrate their lovers so deeply. And many women enjoy being penetrated exceptionally deep. This is one of the key reasons that guys with average or larger sized genitals would want a penis extension. It can be totally erotic to go as deep as possible!

During Role Play

Sexual role play is another fun thing you can do with penis extensions. This works well if you and your lover have agreed on monogamy, but want to spice things up and experience something a little different every once in a while. A penis extension will make the male partner feel like he’s a different man to both lovers! Incorporate this into a sexy role play scenario. Use costumes if you like, and definitely up the ante with some dirty talk.

Care & Safety

Care for penis extensions is much like the care of any sex toy. You want to be aware of the material it is made from, because latex can be broken down by using petroleum jelly or oil based lubes, while silicone can be broken down by using other silicone lubes. If you use a water based lube, you’re pretty much safe all around. Most penis extensions can be cleaned with simple soap and water, but if you purchase one made of life-like skin material, you’ll need to dust it with plain cornstarch to keep it soft and supple.

Although a penis extension covers the top of the penis, it does not completely prevent semen from spilling into the vagina. It is not designed for safe sex – so it won’t protect you or your partner from pregnancy or any kind of sexually transmitted diseases. If you are in a monogamous relationship with someone and you are both STD free, a condom may not be necessary for you when wearing a penis extension if you are either using birth control methods or are planning a pregnancy. However, if you wish to practice safe sex, you’ll want to wear a condom underneath the penis extension to be sure you’re protecting against unwanted pregnancies and STD’s.

A penis extension can be a lot of fun to experiment with if you’re looking for something a little different in the bedroom. It’s not a replacement for intimate, natural sex with your lover, but it can definitely add some spice in situations that are lacking it!

3 Must Have Sex Toys For Erectile Dysfunction!

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Erectile dysfunction doesn’t have to ruin your sex life. If you have problems getting and keeping an erection during sex or even during masturbation, you may feel like you’re never going to have great sex (or any sex) ever again. Nothing could be further from the truth! There are several things that can help you get a rock hard erection – and make it last long enough to give your girl wicked orgasms. Check out these three must-own sex toys that will help you last longer in bed!

A Cock Ring

A cock ring is an absolute must have sex toy if you experience erectile dysfunction at all. You definitely want one if ED is something you struggle with often, but don’t be afraid to get your hands on a decent cock ring even if you’ve only had one or two fluke ED episodes. You want to have it on hand in case you’re with a girl and it happens again, but you really don’t want to make a big deal about it. If you have a cock ring, you can put it on before your erection goes away and it will keep the blood trapped in the penis and keep it erect.

Soft jelly cock rings are most likely your best bet, because the metal ones can be difficult to get off. If your penis swells up when you have a metal cock ring on, you may not be able to get it off – and you’d have to go to the emergency room! You can also use a vibrating cock ring if your partner has trouble reaching orgasm through sexual intercourse alone.

A Penis Pump

If you have trouble getting an erection at all, a penis pump is going to be your best friend. A good penis pump will help pump the blood into your penis, making it erect. However, you will want to use a penis pump in conjunction with a cock ring, or the blood will just flow back out of the penis. Once you’ve used the pump, slip the cock ring on and it will keep your erection in place!

Never, ever use a vacuum cleaner as a penis pump! You could seriously hurt yourself this way. Always use a penis pump that has been manufactured with quality materials by a reputable company. If there is too much suction (like with a vacuum cleaner) you could cause the small blood vessels in the penis to break, causing bruising. This can be painful! Stick to making your purchase from a reputable company that has great feedback.

A Prostate Massager

Guys that don’t like anal play might freak out a little bit here, but try – just try – to keep an open mind. If erectile dysfunction really causes problems in your life and in your relationships, you might be a little more willing to try prostate massage. Some people refer to the prostate as the “male g-spot” and for good reason – this gland, when stimulated, can turn a man on, give him a rock hard erection and give him an orgasm in very quick succession. If you’ve never tried prostate stimulation but continue to struggle with ED, you may want to give it a go.

When selecting any anal toy, you want to start small and work your way up. You don’t want to grab the largest thing you see thinking that bigger is better – because when it comes to any type of anal sex, bigger is definitely NOT always better. A teeny tiny butt plug can actually do the job pretty well, and it’s a perfect way to get started.

As you become more experienced with prostate stimulation, you can graduate to larger toys – but you can stay small if you want to. The idea here is to use prostate stimulation as a way to achieve and maintain an erection, so go with what does the job the best. And of course, remember to use lube! You never, ever want to try to insert an anal toy (no matter how small it is) without adequate lube. At best it just won’t go in and at worst it will be very, very painful!

When To See The Doctor

If you’ve tried sex toys for erectile dysfunction and still struggle with it, it may be time to make an appointment with your doctor. ED can also be treated with medications and other types of therapy, and your doctor is the best person to recommend what is right for you. Talk with your doctor about possible underlying causes and what your options are!