It’s a question that just about everyone has asked at least at one point or another in their lives.
What is the secret to long term, happy relationships? Is there even a secret?
While there is no tried and true formula that you can follow to the letter to ensure you have a happy relationship for years to come, there are a few things you can do to make your relationship easier and more fulfilling.
What is the secret to long term happy relationships?
Accepting your partner.
When it boils down to it, a happy relationship is between two people that love each other. While everyone’s definition of love differs from person to person, there is one thing that seems to be a thread running through every relationship – acceptance.
When you truly love someone, you accept them for who they are. You can’t change a person, and if you go into a relationship thinking that later on down the road you’ll try to change one thing or another about them, the relationship won’t last very long.
The first step to a truly happy and fulfilling long term relationship is learning to accept your partner and love them, even in spite of their unsavory qualities. This isn’t something that happens right away, so give yourself enough time and be patient with yourself. Talk openly with your partner about how you’re learning to accept them for who they are no matter what, and you’d like them to do the same for you.
Getting out of the judgmental state of mind.
More often than not, when our partners do something to upset us, we end up being judgmental. We pass off judgment to them as though they’ve done something “wrong” and we’re the right ones in the situation.
While you and your partner are likely to always have disagreements, being critical is something that doesn’t have to happen, and when it does it’s going to take a toll on your relationship and hurt one or both partners’ feelings.
When your partner does something to upset you, bring it up exactly like that. Don’t say they’ve done something “wrong” or be critical. Simply say that it’s something you don’t really jive with. By not being critical, you become more accepting and loving of your partner and they become more willing to be sensitive of your needs.
Relationships are give and take situations. If one partner is giving more and the other is simply taking and taking, the relationship isn’t going to last too long.
The best thing you can do is be open, honest and accepting of your partner. You and your partner are in this together, as a team!
If you are constantly pitting against each other, it isn’t really a team is it? Work together to find common ground where you and your partner can both function in the relationship and be satisfied and happy with it. If you truly love your partner and your partner truly loves you, many of these things will fall into place and become second nature to both of you.
While living together and staying together for many years takes lots of hard work and understanding, once you and your partner have the right mindset, you can begin unlocking the secrets to staying together and staying happy for the long haul!