Lube. You’ve heard of it. You might have even used it. However, lube has gotten an infamous reputation for being needed only when either a) a man can’t get a woman turned on enough to get her wet (in which case he is a total dud) or b) a woman can’t get wet enough no matter how hard her partner tries (in which case there is something wrong with her).
Unfortunately, this common misconception about why additional lubrication is needed or useful during sex leads to couples choosing not to use lube and using saliva or nothing instead! This can be absolutely detrimental to a woman’s orgasm – as in, she won’t have one if she’s not lubricated enough.
Is There Something Wrong If She Can’t Get Wet Enough?
No. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your technique or her bodily functions if she’s not wet enough during sex. Some women just don’t produce a lot of natural fluids, while others produce copious, copious amounts and you might actually need a towel or two to mop it all up. Does this mean that a woman who produces more vaginal fluid is more turned on than the woman who is not? Hardly. The “wetter” woman persay may actually only be moderately turned on, while the girl who feels like her vagina is the Sahara could be on fire!
It is a myth that a woman’s production of vaginal fluids has a direct correlation with her level of arousal – there is some correlation there, yes. But not for every woman and not every time. So no, there’s nothing wrong with her. And there’s nothing wrong with your technique. Even if she’s as dry as a bone, she may really be digging what you’re doing. She just might be a girl who takes longer to produce fluid, or who doesn’t produce that much at all. No big deal if you’ve actually got some lube on hand.
What Lube Does For Her (And You) During Sex
When you use lube during sex, it provides a slicker, slipperier “work area” so to speak. Imagine sliding on a Slip N’ Slide that doesn’t have any water on it, or only has a little. You’re not going to get very far, are you? In fact, you might get plastic burn on your belly. Not cool, huh? The same goes for sex. Without adequate lubrication (her own or manufactured), it’s like a dry Slip N’ Slide. Turn the water on though, and you’re ready to have fun!
When you lube your girl up, everything feels better. Your tongue feels better, your penis feels better and it’s much, much easier for her to reach orgasm. Every sensation is heightened, whereas without a slippery surface to work with, she’s going to experience discomfort, chafing and pain. Her clitoris, for example, is going to be much more sensitive and responsive when it is lubricated than when you’re rubbing a dry finger or dry tongue over it. In fact, if you’re using a dry finger on her clit, get ready to be smacked! It hurts! A drop of lube really never hurt anyone. It is much, much more difficult for your lover to reach orgasm if she’s not adequately lubricated.
She can’t feel what you’re doing as well and she’s more likely to be experiencing discomfort than any kind of pleasure. If you’re too proud to use lube for the reasons that have already been disproven, you’re only fighting a losing battle and the only losers are you and your partner. Don’t forget that when she’s nice and wet, you’re going to benefit too! Every sensation is going to feel much better to you too – kind of like masturbating with lube! A dry hand isn’t all that awesome, but once you’ve got a buffer there, watch out! When she’s dripping wet, sex is going to feel even more amazing for you too.
Lube, Lube For Everyone!
There’s no reason not to use lube! No reason at all! Don’t think that water or spit works just as well, because frankly it doesn’t. It dries out way too fast and you’ll be in the middle of doing it when all of a sudden it’s like…well, the dry Slip N’ Slide again. Who turned off the hose? Do yourself (and your lover) a favor by keeping a few bottles of lube stashed wherever you like to have sex. Don’t get just one – get a few different kinds and experiment with them to find out what you like best.
Some people like thinner lubrication while others like more gel-like consistencies. Some people just can’t get enough of the smell of strawberries when they’re giving their lover oral sex. Lube is fun and it will help turn sex into something frustrating or plain old boring into something incredible!