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The TRUTH You Need To Know About Stripper Girlfriends

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A stripper could make an excellent partner, right? Don’t assume before you date one – here is exactly what to be aware of before dating a stripper! Armed with this massive amount of knowledge, dating dancers—or just enjoying a lot of hot sex with them—is going to be within your grasp.

But before you start considering a serious relationship with that stunner you met last night at the club—or God forbid, marrying one of these women—I want to tell you that many of the negative cliches about strippers are true. While this may sound harsh and certainly not all exotic dancers fall into these stereotypes, you have to accept that when dating a stripper that more often than not the reality behind the fantasy is often more trouble than it’s worth. Again, I’m not saying that all strippers are this way, but if you hang out in this scene for a while, as I have, you’re going to notice similarities among many of them.

What Your Relationship Will Entail

Your relationship with a stripper will probably involve a lot of drama, dishonesty and a complete disregard for sobriety. You’ll have to contend with all the other guys (including her regular customers) who want to fuck your girlfriend and want to get you out of the picture. But then there’s the nights of wild partying, the incredible sex, and the awesome ego boost you get from having sex with a stripper!

This is their lifestyle. No matter what they might say, stripping is more than a job: it’s a lifestyle. These chicks are working all night long, six or seven nights a week, and drinking and possibly using drugs whenever they work. Nearly all strippers at least drink booze on a nightly basis, since it helps them loosen up, shed their inhibitions, and “bond” with customers. (No customer likes it when his stripper orders a $7 orange juice—he wants to think he’s getting her buzzed and making her more vulnerable to his “charms.”)

With this grueling nightly routine, there’s little time for these chicks to get anything else done. They wake up in the afternoon and start getting ready to report back to the club. After a while, the thought of waking up at 8am and going to a “regular” job—and making a regular, taxed income—becomes totally unrealistic. Fundamentally, these women are lazy. If you’re an educated, career-minded guy, it will be impossible for you to relate to their daily routine and how little they get accomplished. And you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re going to start dating a hardcore pro and turn her into a productive member of society.

What Happens If You Want Her To Quit Dancing

If you start dating her and have her quit working, she’ll probably wake up in the afternoon and lounge around your house in her sweats. Or, maybe she’ll roll out with your credit card to do some shopping. But don’t think for a minute that she’s going to update her resume and use this opportunity to go after her dream job.

Many Strippers Will Lie

Just in order to be a stripper and mentally accept what they’re doing for a living, they have to lie to themselves. They tell themselves, “I’m only doing this for a limited amount of time—until I pay off my debts/straighten out my life/settle down with the right guy/etc.” They’ll constantly repeat this lie to their friends and family (or, lie about what they do for a living altogether).

If they’ve managed to con themselves, conning you is hardly going to be a stretch. Strippers who’ve been in “the game” for a while seem to develop an allergy to telling the truth. If you try to date a stripper, get ready to deal with a level of flakiness you’ve never encountered before. Phone calls will go unreturned for days. She’ll break appointments with you at the last minute, for ridiculous reasons. She’ll need to borrow money, even though you know she’s hauling down a ton of cash at the club. She’ll make up lies to cover her mistakes and inconsistent behavior, even though just telling you the truth would make things so much easier.

Many Of Them Are Single Mothers

You’ll also find that a lot of strippers, despite their seemingly flawless bodies, are single moms. The fathers of these kids are long gone (or serving prison sentences). Again, this is a result of being with some idiot ex-boyfriend, who got her pregnant and then split. I once had a relationship with a dancer who had a five-year-old daughter. Personally, if I’m dating a stripper, my rule is that I don’t even want to meet her kid. I’m sure her daughter was cute and sweet and wonderful, but I didn’t want to get involved—and I sure as hell wasn’t going to get on the hook financially.

I did this for the child’s sake, really. I figure the kid has enough issues to deal with, having a stripper for a mom and no father, without me coming into her life, forming a bond with her and acting like her surrogate father, and then bailing (just like her father did). I suppose if you get into a serious relationship with a stripper, you’re going to have to get involved with the child and be a father figure. You might actually find joy in that. I’ve known relationships like this that worked out. Personally, I’m not interested in marrying a stripper, and I know that each relationship is going to eventually fall apart. Therefore, I keep the kids out of the picture.

What To Do To Make It Work

If you do wind up getting into a relationship with a dancer, you’ve also got to be prepared to deal with how she makes her living. Jealousy often becomes a destructive factor. Only two types of men have no problem whatsoever being a stripper’s boyfriend. The first type of guy is confident enough in himself, and in the relationship, to know that her job is exactly that—a JOB. Usually, this type of guy has hung around enough strip clubs, and known enough dancers, to understand that it’s work to them and that the “flirting” with customers is an act.

(With my ex, when she went to work, we’d joke about her “going to the ATM machine.” She’d go to the club, milk the suckers for $1,000, then we’d meet up at a bar afterwards and have a great time.)

This type of guy also keeps his girlfriend’s lifestyle in check. He doesn’t accept her irresponsible flakiness. And she doesn’t work every night and sleep all day, because they both want to spend time together as a couple.

(For every 10 strippers that lead reckless fast-lane lifestyles, you’ll find one or two that actually have their heads straightened out and really are just working at the strip club on their way to other things.)

The second type of guy is letting his dancer girlfriend pay the bills. She brings home the bacon, so he’s in no position to complain about her job. He doesn’t want to lose his meal ticket. (Otherwise, how would be able to afford high-quality marijuana and equipment for his rock band?)

If you do wind up dating a dancer, always be in the first category!

Some Other Things To Keep In Mind

Another rule of dating dancers is that you shouldn’t hang around her club while she’s working. This can only create problems. She’s going to feel uncomfortable if you’re watching her flirt with other customers, which will hinder her ability to make money. No matter how cool you are with her, and what she does for a living, steer clear of the club while she’s working. Respect it as her work space.

Setting some ground rules can help, such as asking her to come home directly after her shift and holding her to it. In Las Vegas, however, the strip clubs stay open 24 hours. Her shift might technically end at 1am, but if she’s with a customer who’s shelling out for dance after dance, she’s going to stay with him until he’s ready to leave (or until his money runs out, whichever comes first). It’s part of dancer protocol: as long as the customer is spending money, it’s inappropriate for them to “clock out” and tell the customer they’re going home.

If this becomes a serious problem for you, just end the relationship and move on the next.

Seduction Methods To Close The Deal With ANY Stripper!

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A stripper will get typical customers trying to ask them out on a daily basis. YOU need to be different. Once you’re successfully escalating and you can tell she’s feeling the physical attraction, it’s time for you to close the deal.

Don’t Linger In The “ZONE”

Remember the old rule of show business: “leave ‘em wanting more.” You need to be the one to end the conversation and excuse yourself while the interaction is at a high point, so that she wants to see you again soon and pick up where you left off.

Otherwise, the longer you drag out the interaction, the greater the chance that she will feel she needs to get back to hustling and making money. Even if she’s totally into the conversation, she can only talk to you for so long before she’ll start to feel that she needs to get back to work.

2 Ways To Close A Stripper On Duty

1. Get Her Phone Number

Plan on calling her/texting her soon to see her outside of the strip club. Hopefully tonight. Be sure to find out during the conversation when her shift ends.

2. Use A 2nd Location

If her shift ends within the next few hours, make a plan to meet her at another location. I suggest you make it a late-night restaurant—strippers are usually hungry after working a long shift.  The key is to invite her to come along and join you somewhere. Lay out a specific plan that is easy for her to agree with.

Set Your Plans In Stone

You may have no intention of heading to this place later tonight, if you’re alone, but you’ve got to present it this way to her—as if your plans for later on are already set, and she’s welcome to come along so you can continue this cool conversation.

In U.S. cities, restaurants like Denny’s, I-Hop, etc are good locations for the meet. Even better are local pub-restaurants where you can grab a burger and some drinks afterwards.

Make it a place that she’s probably already familiar with. If she has no idea where it is, she’s very unlikely to try to drive around and find it in the middle of the night.

Don’t Even Bother Trying To Make A “Date Plan”

Inviting her to dinner or a movie next week while you’re talking to her in the club or while you’re getting a lap dance is pretty much hopeless. If you try to suggest this, she’ll probably agree to it, out of politeness, but she’ll forget all about it as soon as you leave. Besides, she’ll probably be working that night.

Always try to sleep with her tonight. Strippers usually lead busy, hectic (if not chaotic) lives and meet new guys every day. Trying to build a “friendship first” and taking it slow is the downfall of many guys when they’re trying to hook up with women—and this is especially true when you are dealing with strippers. Strike while the iron is hot and the sparks are flying!

Make The First Conversation A Winner!

The first conversation is all about gathering information on her,  communicating your confident, playful personality, and working towards the “close.” Guide the conversation along—never allowing her to control the conversation and the topics—and build your bond with her using the right body language.

Learn the special details about her that you know she doesn’t share with her customers. This ensures that when you do call or text her, she’ll immediately remember who you are, and you can refer to things you talked about—especially the private “in jokes” you shared.

How To Escalate To A Sexual Relationship With A Stripper

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Seduction requires escalation to a sexual relationship. If you don’t escalate, the conversation will stay in “neutral” (and possibly fizzle out) when you need to be shifting to a higher gear. Escalation is about sexualizing the interaction. You’re basically signaling to her: I’m a man. You’re a woman. And I’m a confident, masculine guy who can give you a great orgasm.

Remember what I said before about the importance of leading women. They love it when a guy they’re attracted to starts leading them down the path towards sex, instead of just pretending to be their “friend.”

Consider a typical interaction between a guy and a girl he meets at a bar. He might have strong “conversation game” and be able to entertain her for a while with funny questions, interesting stories, etc.

Flirt From The Start!

If a guy never starts flirting and taking the interaction in a sexual direction, her attraction to him is not going to grow. In her mind, he’s just another “nice guy” who she may enjoy talking to, but she’s not imagining anything happening beyond that. The guys I know who are super-successful with women are great at being a flirt.

Strippers know they are hot; their entire job revolves around looking as hot as possible in order to make money. So while you don’t want to sit there paying her compliments about how beautiful she is, you should let her know (at the right stage) that you’re into her sexually and this isn’t just a chat between two buddies.

Don’t tell her that she’s beautiful, but do give her signs that you’re into her sexually (once you’re deep into building comfort and attraction). Flirting means doing this in a playful way that isn’t weird or creepy.

Escalation is the bridge that takes you from the conversation/comfort stage to the seduction. When a guy doesn’t escalate and suddenly “puts a move” on a girl (like trying to hold her hand, or inviting her back to his place), it feels awkward and forced.

The classic example is the guy who takes a girl on a date, and keeps his hands to himself all night, just making small talk. Then, when he drops her off at her house at the end of the date, he tries to get a goodnight kiss and she turns her head and offers her cheek.

If he had escalated during the date, the goodnight kiss would have been assured. And maybe a lot more. So, you’ll escalate at the strip club in two ways: physical and verbal. These can happen at the same time.

Establish Body Contact

Physical escalation means establishing (subtle) body contact. It’s important for her to get used to your touch, and for you to show her that you can touch her and still control yourself.

In a strip club, this can take some self-discipline. When you’re sitting with a half-naked stripper with fake breasts nearly popping out of her bra, and she’s perfectly willing to sit on your lap and cuddle with you (in order to sell you dances), it’s easy—and tempting—to let her initiate the contact and go along with it.

Instead, you should playfully deflect her early attempts to touch you. (“Whoa, you’re frisky. Don’t treat me like a prom date, ok—not until I get to know you better, at least.)

You’ll be the one to touch her. And you’ll do it in a subtle “invisible” way that never makes her feel uncomfortable, or makes you seem like a customer who wants to cop a feel. By the way, when it comes to making body contact, the fact that a strip club is loud works to your advantage. It gives you a reason to sit close to her and lean in when you speak.

When you agree with something she is saying, and you want to tell her your thoughts, lean in and touch her lightly on the knee as you talk. Caress her knee very gently, then move your hand away.

As you do a “Cold Read,” lean in and touch her hand. Look straight into your eyes as you do this. This heightens the effect.

If you’re telling her something “personal” or sharing an “inside joke,” lean in and whisper it into her ear. Touch her lightly on the forearm. This is an intimate act that will give her goose bumps if done correctly.

If she says something funny (or something you think is totally cool), give her a high-five and clasp her hand in yours for a moment, then let it go. Build the contact.

Keep Your Touches Brief

When the conversation is real, so is the effect of your physical touches. If you haven’t successfully built comfort with her, then any touching that goes on is just typical stripper-customer behavior. Start subtly making contact with her—at the right time—and you’re injecting sexual energy into the interaction.

The trick is to keep your touches brief. The idea is to make her miss your touches. This is what sexual tension is all about: she’s starting to get that horny, tingling feeling and she wants you to touch and caress her more, but you’re only giving it to her in small doses.

When you do this correctly with a woman, the anticipation of your next touch can drive her wild. She might start grabbing you! (This is when you gently ease her away and play “hard to get.”)

3 Little Gestures That Will Seduce ANY Stripper!

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A stripper will require a lot of comfort. Displaying chivalrous behavior is a quality most customers don’t possess. This isn’t hard. It basically means treating her like a lady. The fact that they’re dancers causes most guys to treat these girls as sex objects, to be ogled and groped.

Strippers are so used to this behavior in the club that they play it off and laugh (unless the guy is being too aggressive). It’s part of the job. But that doesn’t mean they like it.

A stripper will encounter a lot of aggressive, obnoxious customers who love the “power shift” that takes place inside a strip club. But when you present yourself as a laid-back gentleman, you’ll make her feel comfortable and safe with you, and her attraction has a chance to grow.

One act of chivalry is all it takes: a small gesture that shows you respect her as lady and are a protector (rather than a customer, who only cares about his own needs being met). Here are some quick examples of the right actions and body language.

1. Offer Her A Seat

When she sits down next to you, say, “Your feet must be sore from walking around in those heels. Here, give them a rest.” Then, pull up a chair and have her place her feet on them. Or, call to your waitress and have her bring over another chair for your dancer to rest her feet on. This will set precedence for a small date together.

2. Wrap A Napkin Around Her Drink

When the waitress brings your drinks, make a special effort to make sure there is a napkin wrapped around her glass before the drink is handed to her. If there is already a napkin around it when the waitress brings it, adjust the napkin and make it perfect.

If there is no napkin, wrap one around her glass and then hand her the drink. It’s a simple, classy touch that will go a long way when you start flirting.

3. Move Her Seat

If the strip club is crowded, move her seat so that other people aren’t going to bump into her chair. Bring it in closer to you and angle it away from the traffic. Tell her you want to make sure she’s comfortable and that no one brushes up against her.

There are lots of other “acts of chivalry” that you can come up with. Look out for opportunities to do one or two nice little things that she doesn’t expect. (Don’t go overboard, or you’ll appear to be kissing her ass; one or two is enough.)

By taking a moment to make sure she feels comfortable and respected, you’re separating yourself in a big way from the average customer.

Your goal is to always place women in a comfort zone. This is where physical attraction has a chance to develop. This means your body language must always convey a level of cool. No nervous fidgeting. Maintain eye contact. Don’t keep your knees together and your hands in your lap; spread your body out across your seat. Take up space.

These are signs of a man who is confident and relaxed. Nervous guys make women nervous.

Building A Bond With A Stripper For REAL Attraction

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A stripper gets weirded out by customers all the time. Making a dancer feel comfortable with you is essential. Creating real attraction with her will keep her comfortable as you lay the rest of the groundwork. Here are some easy tactics to create true comfort and rapport with a stripper.

Understand Her Work

Express your understanding of her line of work, and point out how you’re actually impressed by dancers for reasons other than their hot bodies. (Remember, it’s “dancing,” not “stripping.”)

Give her a little ego boost by complimenting her on the “skills” she has developed at her job. For example, commend her on her ability to read people. Remember to do this with confidence.

YOU: “I’ve noticed that dancers have an amazing ability to read people—they always seem to know exactly what type of guy they’re talking to, and what he’s looking for. I’d love to have that talent, it would come in handy at my job.”

By saying this, you’re letting her know that you don’t hold her profession against her. You actually respect what she does, and you understand there’s a lot more to her job than just looking good in a bikini.

Making a statement like this is another way to break down the barrier that exists between you (the customer) and her (the stripper). When this barrier has been removed, the two of you will be able to communicate on a more real, honest level. Remember to use eye contact when you are communicating with her.

Use Your Occupation

If your occupation or your career goals happen to be one of your attractive qualities, this statement is a “link” that will steer the conversation onto this topic. Saying “it would really help me at my job” is probably going to prompt her to ask you what you do for a living.

You can then mention your job to her. Just keep it brief. No matter how lofty your title is, or how much money you make, you don’t want to sound like you’re bragging or EVER trying to impress her. If you’re lucky, she will put you in the friend zone.

WACK TACTIC: “I’m a senior vice president with the Highland Real Estate Corporation. My specialty is doing home loans. Here, let me give you my card…”

MACK TACTIC: “I work in real estate. It’s a great match for my talents and I love what I’m doing right now. So let me guess, Melissa—the money’s pretty good at this place for right now, but you’ve got your eye on doing way cooler in the future. I’m right, aren’t I?”

Bear in mind, dancers are constantly meeting chumps who try to impress them with how much money they’ve got, the car they drive, the house they just bought, etc. It’s hardly an original quality for a guy to possess in a strip club. But if you have an occupation that you love, or a goal that you are passionate about, mention it. That’s huge.

Communicate Passions And Ambition

It is far more important to communicate your passion and ambition than it is to talk about your job title, salary, material possessions, etc. It doesn’t matter if you’re a temp right now, an intern, or even unemployed—as long as you’ve got ambitions and passions that you can communicate with the right body language.

WACK TACTIC: “I’m between jobs right now. The job market sucks, no one’s hiring.”

MACK TACTIC: “Right now I’m considering some different opportunities. It’s important for me that I’m passionate about anything that I get involved with. Life’s too short to be doing something you’re not passionate about, don’t you think?”

Again, always keep phrasing in mind. It’s all about how you phrase this information. Even if you’re a millionaire CEO, you’ve got to maintain an element of mystery and communicate that passion without buying a lap dance.

One stripper told me the most repulsive line she’d ever heard from a “bigshot.” He whispered in her ear, “If I told you who I really am, you’d cum right now. Let’s just say, if you treat me right, I could change your life.”

The only way this douche bag “changed her life” was by buying enough dances that night to cover her rent and car payment. After she was done dancing, she told him a fake phone number and went on to the next customer.

Generate Real Attraction

Half of the guys that come into her club like to run their mouths about how much money they’ve got, and by now she is well aware that 90% of the time the guy is full of crap while using bad seduction techniques.

So you see, even if you are wealthy and successful, it’s not going to generate any real attraction from her. Passion and ambition are the qualities that matter—and if you truly do possess those qualities, women will gravitate towards you. Passionate, ambitious men always wind up succeeding.

So when she asks you about “what you do,” you’re going to give her a response that doesn’t include details, but conveys your passion. Common flirting techniques don’t work. Toss the ball back into her court. You want to give her a chance to talk about her own passions, and you want her to know that you respect her as an intelligent, sophisticated woman.

You’re not a “customer” in her eyes and you want her to know that in your eyes, she’s not just a brainless slut in a G-string.