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How To Tell If A Stripper Isn’t Really Into You

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A stripper isn’t going to show she likes you the same way other girls do – but here are some telltale signs that will let you know she’s playing you.

Strippers will often give you phony signals in order to make you think they’re into you. This is how they make their money and play their game! Most guys fall for it, because mentally, they think they’re in a regular bar and the same rules apply. This is a huge mistake – and it will likely cost you quite a bit of money if you end up falling for it.

The strip club is a different universe. It’s not a bar, where women are vulnerable and show their “real selves” to guys there. The woman you see on stage isn’t who she really is – almost all strippers wear a “mask.” They have a different persona when they’re in the club than they have in real life. You’ve got to be able to recognize the false signals, and build the connection so that she begins to give you real signals of interest.

How To Tell She’s Faking It:

  • She walks over and starts touching you immediately: running her fingernails along your shoulder, neck, or arm, or sitting down on your lap.
  • She leads off with generic questions. “What’s your name?” “Are you having a good time?” etc.
  • Laughing at practically everything you say, as if she thinks you’re the most clever man alive (and you’re not really saying anything that clever)
  • She “confesses” her real name to you, without you prompting her to do so. (She’s probably still telling you a phony name.)
  • Batting her eyelashes and looking straight into your eyes
  • Gently squeezing her breasts together, between her elbows, while she looks at you
  • Telling you that you’re cute/sexy/handsome/hot
  • Complimenting you on your shoes or your watch. (Experienced strippers notice these two aspects of a man’s appearance; it’s a quick way to gauge how much money he’s got.)
  • Bending forward so you can check out her breasts
  • Rubbing her body as she flirts with you
  • Telling you she’s “drunk,” or “horny”
  • Rubbing your chest or your crotch within minutes of meeting you

The typical customer, mesmerized by her hotness, will mistake these “stripper tricks” as indicators that she’s genuinely into him. This compels him to start shelling out money.

Don’t take the bait. Ignore it. If she starts rubbing on you, move her hand away and tell her, “Whoa…I’m not that easy. Can’t you at least buy me dinner first?”

Again, you’re behaving in the opposite manner of the previous 437 fools who came in her strip club and bought into her “sales pitch.” Your job is to deflect the pitch, break her out of her routine, and control the interaction.

Strip Clubs – Befriending The Doorman, Manager And Bouncers

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Strip clubs can be a great place to date hot women, but you’ll never get in good with a stripper if you don’t make friends with other club employees.

Working Your Game

Strip clubs are an excellent environment in which to practice. In this environment, a power shift takes place – it’s the guys who are the commodity, who have the power to decide which women they want to spend time with. This means no matter what the outcome of your trip to the place, you’re going to benefit as long as you take this opportunity to work on your game.

This is also why you should never be intimidated about going alone. As long as you project a relaxed, confident vibe, strip clubs give you opportunities to chat with hot chicks, engage them in conversations, and develop your conversational skills and confidence.

Practice makes perfect, and strip clubs are an awesome way for guys to work on their game, test out new conversational techniques, and become at ease around beautiful women.

Getting To Know Staff Members Other Than The Dancers

If there is a particular club you hang out at, or intend to start hanging out at, make sure to befriend other staff members besides the doorman. Introduce yourself to the bouncers, coat check, bus boys, DJ’s, and the managers and owner, if you get the opportunity.

Meeting the manager is easy. If this is one of your local clubs, you should go ahead and do this. Tell your waitress you need to ask the manager a question, and ask her to point him out. (The manager is usually hanging out in the area, keeping an eye on things.) Approach him, introduce yourself and shake his hand, and tell him you recently started coming to the club and love the place.

What To Say

Stroke his ego a little. Tell him you’re impressed with how well-run the place is, and how the dancers and staff are a lot of fun to hang out with. Then tell him you’re interested in possibly hosting a bachelor party at the club. Ask him if they offer any special “party packages” – if you might be able rent a private room and some dancers, etc. He’ll gladly tell you about your options.

This simple, short conversation will ensure that whenever you come to this club in the future, the management is going to remember you. If you come back in the future and the manager ever inquires about your bachelor party plans, just tell him your buddy caught his fiancée screwing around with another guy and the wedding is off—but you appreciate him giving you the info.

When you visit, staff members should know and greet you. This gives you high social value in the eyes of the dancers; again, nothing about you should indicate that you’re a typical customer.

When the doormen greet you by name, and then the manager stops by your table to say hello – that is huge social proof in a strip club. If you’ve got one or two in your area that you like to go to, you must build this social proof. (Plus, when you bring your buddies there, they’ll be totally impressed.) It’s free, and it’s easy to do. Make those connections!

Getting To Know The Bouncers

Befriending a bouncer is easy, too: say, “Bro, you’re the envy of every guy—hanging out in a club full of beautiful, half-naked women and getting paid for it. You make me want to consider a career change. By the way, my name’s ______.”

Or, “Dude, I envy you. You must see some crazy shit. Hey, what is the craziest thing you ever had to kick a guy out for?”

Have a short chat. You’ve just made a new friend who could probably bench-press a Volkswagen, and will give you massive social proof the next time you arrive.

Getting To Know The DJ’s

I especially like to make friends with the DJ’s. These guys are total “insiders.” They know all the strippers and can provide you with all sorts of info. All you need to do is pay them a compliment and show some interest in what they do: “Hey, what was the last song called? That was crazy. So do you DJ anywhere else?”

You can also throw in some terminology that is easily learned on the Internet, but be careful if you do because if you’re just throwing fancy words around and don’t have a decent grasp on the subject, you’ll get outed as a phony pretty fast. You might say something like this:

“This one of the tightest sets I’ve ever heard in a strip club. The last place I went to, the DJ was trainwrecking left, right and center. The beats were all over the place. He didn’t know a crossfader from a cross-over dribble.”

4 Rules For A Relationship With A Stripper (And When To Move On)

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A stripper isn’t the typical girl you have a relationship with – it’s a bit more difficult. Here’s what you need to do, and how to know when to move on!

Rules To Follow If You Want A Relationship With A Stripper

1. Have Sex With Her Often

Women literally get addicted to your penis when you’re able to give her orgasms every time you’re with her. And don’t only bang her at night before bedtime. Be unpredictable.

2. Don’t Tolerate Any Crap 

If she’s late, you leave. Next time she won’t be. If she gets in a snotty mood about something, punish her by not having sex with her for a week and let her know about it. Spending time with you (and enjoying your cock) is a privilege, not her right. (This is a harsh approach, but it works for many women.)

3. She’s Not Your Life

Have a life that she is a part of. Don’t make her your life.

4. Never Get Jealous

Don’t ask her for details on the guys she did a striptease for tonight, or why she’s got business cards in her purse from a bunch of different dudes. She’s a stripper, remember? This is her job. If you can’t handle it, break up with her and go date a school teacher.

When To Move On

Some strippers—and remember, they’re professional salespeople—regularly give out their phone number to customers because they want to cultivate “regulars.” She might expect you to start showing up a couple of times a week and buying dances.

This is not part of your game plan. Once you’ve got her phone number, you should not return to her strip club until one of two scenarios happens:

Scenario 1

You call her, she tells you she has to work every night this week, and you stop in the club once more to hang with her, buy her a drink, and keep the connection going. But you will not buy dances, and you will not return a third time to see her. The next time you see her will be outside of the club when she’s not working, or not all. (Hey, there are a lot of fish in the sea – and other sexy, more available strippers in your area, I’m sure.)

Scenario 2

You got her number, you’ve tried calling her to arrange a meet, but she’s being evasive. She’s playing games with you. Once you determine this, you are free to return to the club and apply your tactics on different girls. You can expect the stripper who was evasive to give you rude looks when she sees you flirting with other women. So be it. Ignore it. She had her chance. You’ve moved on and she can keep hustling the chumps.

Don’t keep returning to the club, time after time, spending money on buying her drinks (or even worse, lap dances) without getting results.

It must be noted, some dancers have a firm rule about not seeing customers outside of the club. She might be paranoid about being “found out” by the management, and fired. You might cause her to reconsider this rule, but if she holds firm, just respect it and move onto other prospects.

You’re never going to verbally convince a stripper to break her own rules in order to see you. She has to want it. And if you lay the proper groundwork and build a real connection with her, she will.

How To Flirt With A Stripper

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A stripper isn’t your typical girl, so using conventional flirting techniques aren’t going to work very well at all. Here’s what to do.

Engage In Flirting By Connecting With Her

Your goal is to use strategic conversation to connect with her on a real level.

You want to avoid buying a striptease from her, because then you’re behaving like a typical customer. (I’m not saying you should never buy dances – you can have some fun doing so, and spin it your advantage. I’ll explain how shortly. But the rule of thumb is, avoid buying dances.)

You do want to keep the flirting momentum moving forwards, towards the “close.” Since you won’t be paying for dances, you can’t expect her to hang out with you all night. Figure that if you buy her a drink or two, you’ve got around 30 minutes to make it happen—which means either getting her number (and laying the groundwork so that she will answer or return your phone calls), or arranging to meet her after her shift.

You don’t want to monopolize her time for too long. Respect the fact that she’s here to make money. And you want to be the one who ends the conversation and excuses yourself. You don’t want her to say she has to go.

Areas To Touch On During While You’re Flirting With A Stripper

Your goal is to give them a break from all of that. Be the guy who injects fun into their evening.

Talk to her about ambitions and goals. Strippers never want to think of themselves as strippers. They usually have all sorts of goals and things they want to pursue. Some are actually working towards their goals.

Let her know you’re not dazzled by beauty. This is an excellent topic to slip into the conversation, because it minimizes her concern that you’re like all the other guys and are only interested in her looks. Also, by establishing that you’re not impressed by beauty, it makes her want to step up her game and show you that she’s an interesting, three-dimensional person.

Let her know that you’re not judgmental. While hot strippers may appear to be supremely confident, they’ve all got insecurities. At the bigger clubs, I’ve never met a stripper who believed she was the hottest girl working there. They always think there are other girls who are younger, prettier, have better bodies, etc. You can play on this, but the main insecurity that all strippers have is that guys are judging them negatively because of what they do for a living.

Let her know you don’t kiss and tell. Why is this important? Because if she’s going to see you outside of the club, she needs to feel comfortable that it’s not going to come back to haunt her. She’ll get in trouble, and lose face with her co-workers, if it gets out that she’s sleeping with a guy she met at work.

Strippers are also naturally concerned about stalkers. She has to know that if she goes on a date with you, you’re not the type of guy who is going to show up at the club tomorrow night and act like some jealous freak if she’s hanging out with other customers.

10 “Power Tactics” For Scoring Strippers

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A stripper is the kind of girl that is unattainable, right? Wrong! Check out these ten excellent tips that will help you (yes, YOU) get laid by a stripper!

Experienced guys don’t view strip clubs through the eyes of the average chump customer. They see target-rich environments filled with sexy, available women. They’re also a great place to hone your skills and become comfortable flirting with 9’s and 10’s in other settings.

Sure, the girls are looking to get your money. It’s their job. This is why you’ve got to flip the script, cause them to stop perceiving you as a customer, and make them play YOUR game instead of playing theirs.

Put the these great tactics to work, and you can build connections, collect phone numbers, and set up dates just as you would at a bar.

1. Have A Bulletproof Mindset

Know you’re way more interesting and confident than 99% of the customers who come to this place. A stripper will spend most of their shift having tedious conversations with lame, unattractive men. Once you’ve demonstrated otherwise, she’ll be pleasantly surprised to meet you.

2. Have Confidence!

When you enter the club, have confidence and walk around with your head held high, like you own the place. Never lurk or mill around as if you’re unsure of where to sit. Find a seat and settle in and relax!

3. Make Her Sit BESIDE You

When a hot stripper approaches you, don’t let her sit on your lap. Make her sit beside you. (“Whoa, easy there. Have a seat next to me until we get to know each other a little better.”)

Also, don’t agree if she immediately offers a striptease. Instead, engage her in conversation and control the flow.

4. Maintain Eye Contact

Keep your eyes off of her body and maintain eye contact. Never comment on how good she looks; if anything, call her “cute.” (“Wow. Not only are you the cutest girl here, but you can actually hold an intelligent conversation.”)

5. Break Out Of Her Routine

Dancers, like salesmen, have canned routines that they use to make customers feel comfortable and ready to spend money. When she asks you your name, or where you’re from, ignore it. Go into your OWN routine.

6. Be Respectful Of Her Profession

Never refer to it as “stripping”; the term to use for her is “dancer.” Say (or imply) that you’ve dated dancers before and demonstrate familiarity with her profession. “It’s too bad I swore off dating dancers, because I can tell you and I would get along. I get the sense there’s a lot more to you than meets the eye.”

7. Befriend The Staff

Bouncers, coat check, bus boys, DJ’s, managers, owner, etc. When you visit, staff members should know and greet you. This gives you high social value in the eyes of the dancers; you’re not a typical customer.

Befriending a male staff member is easy: say, “Dude, you’re the envy of every guy—hanging out in a club full of beautiful, half-naked women and getting paid for it. You make me want to consider a career change. By the way, my name’s ______.”

(Sometimes I’ll buy a bottle of water or a Red Bull, and bring it outside and hand it to a doorman. I’ll say, “hey man, I figured you could use a drink out here. I’m not getting good cell phone reception inside, I need to check my messages.” I’ll check my messages real quick, then introduce myself to the doorman—who is always very appreciative of the drink—and get him on my side.)

8. Don’t Forget She’s There To Make Money

Go on slow nights (i.e. a weeknight) when there aren’t a lot of customers vying for her attention. After you’ve been chatting for a little while, it’s okay to buy a dance from her—but a minute or two into the song, tell her she can sit back down, and resume the conversation. (Again, always behave like a non-customer.)

9. Use Good Conversation Lines

During the conversation, apply the same techniques you would use on women in a bar. Ask her questions that prompt her to reveal quirky things about herself. Use hypotheticals, i.e., “If you could teleport right now to anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

Here’s another good one: “Tell me something about yourself that the customers in here would never suspect.”

10. Don’t Expect To Go Home With Her Right Away

It might take a couple of visits for you to “close” the dancer you like (getting her number, or meeting her after her shift). If you’re not buying dances and she has to go, encourage her to go make money. (“I’ve got some business to go handle, and I can see there a lot of lonely guys in here who’d love to pay for your company. I need to bounce, it was awesome to meet you.”)

Make your exit and return in the near future to continue building your connection with her. If after several chat sessions she’ll still giving you the “run around” and has excuses why she can’t hang out with you outside of the club, or she won’t even give up her phone number, be a man about it. Tell her, no problem, you understand, and the next time you return to the strip club you should select another girl to mack on.

If your original target gives you dirty looks while you’re macking on her co-worker, don’t even let it faze you. She missed her chance to get on board your train and take the ride of her life.