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How To Introduce Your Girl To Your Smoking Fetish

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A smoking fetish can be a scary thing when your girl is not ready. A smoking fetish is probably one of the most daunting tasks to introduce into a relationship. Having a smoking fetish can make you feel ostracized from the rest of society, but it’s important to remember that there are a lot of people out there with the same fetish as you.

This is very common in the BDSM scene and it shouldn’t be hard to tell your girlfriend about it if she is open minded. Every relationship has conflict, but your partner should be open to your sexual desires and making you happy. Here is how you should introduce your fetish to your girlfriend.

Tell Her About It

Before you can introduce this to your girlfriend you will need to tell your partner about it. Chances are that if you have a smoking fetish you are probably already having pretty hot sex. If you are already using bondage or S&M in your sex life with your girlfriend then this will probably not bother your partner all that much.

There is a chance that she is not turned on by smoke so it’s important to consider if this fetish is a deal breaker for the relationship. Sit your girlfriend down and talk to her about it. Tell her why it turns you on and ask  if she would be willing to try it out with you. If she is open minded, she will probably want to make you happy.

What If She Doesn’t Smoke?

If she doesn’t smoke there is a major issue. Asking your partner to take up a habit that could potentially be addicting and lead to cancer is not fair. Smoking a cigarette every once in awhile is not going to kill your girlfriend, but it could lead to regular use. It is never recommended to ask a partner to start a dangerous habit for your sexual desire.

There is a code in the BDSM scene called SSC (safe, sane and consensual). Smoking goes against the safe notion of this code so it’s important to realize that she probably will not go for it if she is not a smoker. If you are dating a smoker then she is going to be more opened minded about your fetish.

Establish The Ground Rules

Ground rules are essential for a smoking fetish. There are several varieties of a smoking fetish that are common in the scene, so it’s vital that you have some rules in place. For instance, many people who have a smoking fetish with BDSM like to use their partner as an ashtray.

While others don’t take it this far, some people even like to flick the ash onto their partner’s face. If you are going to be doing this then you need consent from your partner. The majority of guys get off on having a girl smoke while having sex or while giving a blowjob.

Talk to your partner about what she is willing to do and what is not willing to do. If you want to smoke while you are having sex with her, you need to make sure that she is going to be comfortable with this.

Be Safe

The problem with a smoking fetish is the chance that it could slip out of your hand or her hand. Make sure that you are being safe throughout the experience. There is always a chance that she could slip and burn you in a not so hardy area so be aware of this before you implement it into your sex life.

Have ashtrays and cups of water around the room. Open a window and use a fan if possible to get as much smoke out of the room. If you are smoking in a room that is carpeted you run the risk of the smell lingering.

Opening a window and using a fan can cut down on this immensely. Smoking involves fire and the heat of the moment could lead to drapes, carpeting or bed sheets getting burned.

Understand Breath Issues

Breath issues are always a concern with sex, but they are even more important with this fetish. Most guys are drawn to a woman inhaling and blowing out smoke instead of the smell on her breath.

Keep different forms of breath mints around the room for controlling cigarette breath. Listerine strips work the best because they dissolve instantly and kill bacteria in the mouth. This is will not get in the way as much as having to chew gum or suck on a mint.

4 Ways To Get Started With Bondage TONIGHT!

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Bondage is often associated with black leather and a guy with a zipper mask. The fact of the matter is that bondage doesn’t have to be something out of a horror movie. There are a lot of couples that get off on bondage and lead very normal lives.

Although there are those couples out there that tie each other up in chains or with other materials, you don’t have to do this in order to experience this kind of sex. If you have an interest in moving up in the scene, you need to understand the basics first.

What Is Bondage?

Bondage is basically the restraint of one partner as to not impede on the actions of the other partner. Many people love bondage because it allows them to relinquish control of what is happening to them. They don’t have to make decisions and they can be used for kinky sex.

They can also be teased in this position and not be able to do anything about it. Giving away all control is a turn on to a lot of men and women. If you are one of them then you need to start out with a basic understanding of what bondage is and what it is not. This does not have to do with whips or humiliation. Although Bondage is a part of BDSM, it is only a small part.

1. Establish Some Ground Rules

The ground rules should be set before you tie up your partner or before your partner ties you up. The ground rules are essential to knowing the limits of what you and your partner can do while either of your is inhibited.  If you are a little afraid of being tied up, you might want to pretend for first time or make the restraints loose enough to get out of.

Talk to your partner about what they want. Do they want their legs tied, their arms tied or a blindfold? Determine what you are comfortable with also. You might have a rule that they can only tease you when you are tied up but that they have to let you go before you have sex. Discuss anything that is going to make you uncomfortable with your partner and have them do the same so you are on the same page.

2. Use Safety Measures

There are a few terms that you should be familiar with. The bondage scene uses Safe, Sane And Consensual (SSC) and Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK). These basically mean that you should always have consensual play with your partner and you should never be impaired by drugs or alcohol. Come up with a safe word to say if you are feeling uncomfortable and make sure that it’s something you would never use in the moment.

3. Get Tied Down

Now that you have all of that out of the way, it’s time to get tied down. Since you’re a beginner you probably don’t have all of the equipment needed. Get a couple of pairs of pantyhose and tie your partner to the bedpost or have her tie you to the bedpost.

Use a simple knot that will hold, but a knot that you could ultimately break if needed. If you want to start out slow, simply tie their hands together without securing them to the bed.

4. Use Some Objects

A feather is the easiest way to get started. It can feel good and it’s very teasing. Run the feather up and down your partner’s body or have them run the feather up and down your body. Tease them with the feather until they are begging for you. At this point, don’t give in.

The feather is most widely used object for teasing, but you can also use different sex toys. A feather is going to be enough for a guy, but a vibrator works very well with women. Run the vibrator over her nipples and her down her thigh. Don’t put it on her clitoris or inside her just yet. Wait until she is sucking in her stomach.

This is an involuntary refllex to try to get you to put the vibrator on her. Gradually work the vibrator around her clitoris and watch as she tugs on the restraints. Always follow the rules when you’re using objects or sex toys.

This form of sex is a fun way to put a little kink into the relationship. If you have an interest in bondage, following this simple guide will give you a crash course in what you like and what you don’t like. Remember to keep to the rules and never do anything that you or your partner is uncomfortable with.

Why Foreplay And Preparation Before Anal Sex Is Essential

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Anal sex can be one of the kinkiest experiences for any couple to take. However, it can also be one of the messiest if not handled properly. Preparing for this kind of sex is a key ingredient to having a great time. If you have ever had a bad experience with anal sex then you know just how wrong everything can go. Being prepared for every aspect of the action will leave little room for surprises. Here is a prep guide to help you out.

Change The Sheets Beforehand

Darker sheets are recommended for this kind of sex sex. Lighter sheets are more likely to show stains. When you change out the sheets for a darker set, you are less likely to see any stains that might occur during the act. Choose blue, black or a dark green for best results. Sex has a way of getting passionate quickly and the last thing that you want is for her to look down and see a stain while in mid thrust. Change the sheets before you get started to add to the spontaneity and the aesthetics of the occasion.

Consider Using An Enema First

Using an enema first is a necessity for most couples. There are a lot of couples that do not do this, but most will. Depending on your partner’s diet and regular bowel movements, she will need to use an enema herself beforehand in order to remove the majority of fecal matter from her anal cavity. Some women even think that this feels good. Make sure that she is not over-rinsing her anus. This can lead to dryness inside her and cause micro-abrasions during sex. These micro-abrasions can lead to the passing of STD’s or bacterial infections.

Engage In Plenty Of Foreplay

Foreplay is essential for anal sex. Make sure that you’re not just shoving your penis into her anus before she’s ready. Start out with normal foreplay. Kiss her, suck on her breasts and give her oral before you even think about doing anything to her anally. Use your own spit on your finger and then ease it into her anus. This will get her muscles prepared for your penis. Make sure that she is relaxed during foreplay. It’s best to use a sex toy on her anus before you use your penis. Using a small vibrator or a dildo on her will allow her to relax the muscles and get accustomed to the size.

Use Lots Of Lube

The anus does not produce it’s own lubricant. This is much different than the vagina. In order to make your anal sex more pleasurable and less painful, you need to use a lot of lube. Get a bottle specifically for anal sex and apply it to your anus. Using lube on a sex toy before you enter her with your penis is the best way to get her accommodated to the size that will be inside her. This will also apply the lube to her anal cavity.

Use Condoms, Even If You’re Monogamous

Always, always, always use a condom for anal. There are two reasons for this. First of all, a condom is going to have less resistance inside her. It will react with the lube to make the experience much more enjoyable for her. Secondly, a condom will cut down on the chance of spreading diseases and bacteria. Even if you are in a committed relationship, the spread of bacteria can easily be transferred from her anus to your penis. More than likely, you’re going to want to penetrate her vagina during your session. Instead of having to wipe off your penis with a disinfectant, you can simply take the condom off.

Clean Your Sex Toys Well

After you have had anal sex, it’s imperative that you clean all of the toys that were used anally. The toys can house diseases and bacteria, so keeping the toys clean is essential to keeping you and your partner safe during anal sex. A lot of porn stars recommend running your dildos and vibrators through the dishwasher to kill off any bacteria. This will not work on some materials like Cyberskin. Glass and silicone dildos and vibrators can go through a dishwasher without incident. You can also buy cleaner to disinfect your toys afterward, however, antibacterial soaps work just as well.

Anal sex is a great way to keep you and your partner on your toes sexually. But you must stay safe and comfortable throughout. Anal sex is fun, but it requires a little preparation. Don’t be caught off guard. Stains and smells can easily ruin the session and anal sex for life. Following these guidelines will help you get through the anal experience with grace and poise.

How To Get Through First Time Anal Sex

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Anal sex is something women tend to either love or hate. If you have decided that you’re going to do it for the very first time, there are a few things that you need to keep in mind. Being prepared for your first time with it is essential to doing everything right and keeping your body safe.

Anal sex can be very pleasurable when done the right way. When it’s done the wrong way you could wind up at the hospital. Here is a short guide to get your prepped for your first time with this special sexual activity.

Relax!

The muscles inside your anus are designed to contract and expand. If you are not relaxed while having anal sex it’s going to hurt a lot. You need to learn how to relax your anal muscles before your partner inserts his penis or a sex toy. Take a breath and practice relaxing your anus before you begin. There are two muscles that will be used during anal.

The first muscle is the external sphincter. The second muscle is the internal sphincter. You will be able to relax your external sphincter quite easily. However, the internal sphincter is more reactionary. Focus on being relaxed and it will not hurt as much the initial penetration.

Consider An Enema

Under most normal circumstances, anal sex is not that messy. However, there are certain instances where it can be a very bad situation. Using an enema before you have anal sex is recommended. Even if you have normal bowel movements, there is a cleanliness factor.

Making sure that your anus is clean and that your partner will not come out with feces on his fingers or penis is essential. An enema will keep you clean and will make the process a lot more spontaneous.

Bacterial Safety

There are bacteria in your anus that can be dangerous to your vagina. Before you have anal sex, make sure that your partner understands that he can’t go from your anus to your vagina. This is essential to keeping infections at bay. If your partner wants to go from your anus to your vagina, make sure that they change out the condom or wipe down their penis and hands with disinfectant.

Use Lube!

You need a lot of lubricant during your first anal experience. Get the big bottle from the grocery store or from an adult sex shop. Lubrication is going to make the experience much more enjoyable as there will be a lot less resistance when you or your boyfriend penetrates your anus. Use the entire bottle if needed and make sure that you’re buying water based lubricant.

Water based lubricants work well for all types of penetration, but they are really good for anal sex. Have your boyfriend use his finger to lube up your anus before he puts his penis in. This will help you gauge how big of an object you can take.

Getting Ready For Penetration

So now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way, it’s time for the big show. When you’re having anal sex for the first time it’s natural to be scared. Having something shoved up your butt can be terrifying. If you have followed the guidelines thus far then you should have nothing to worry about. Have your partner apply the lube to your anus and his penis.

Even if he’s using a lubricated condom he should pour a lot of lube on his penis. Choose the position that you want to use. Doggy style works well, but an elevated missionary style can also work well. Place a pillow under your butt for the elevated missionary style. Have your partner enter your anus slowly and with just the tip of his penis. Make sure that he is going slowly.

If you feel the need to make a number 2, resist. This is normal. Relax your muscles and your anus should start to get used to the penis. Have your partner slowly go deeper and deeper until he is in as far as he can go or until you start to feel uncomfortable.

Anal sex is a great way to keep things interesting in the bedroom. It is recommended that you follow all of these guidelines before you have anal sex for the first time. If you do not feel comfortable after your first time, don’t be discouraged. It takes time to get acquainted with anal sex. Once you have done it a couple of times your anus will get used to the sensation and you will start to feel the pleasure.

BDSM Basics: How To Get Started

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BDSM is a sex activity that incorporates bondage, domination, submission and masochism. If you have been interested in BDSM for a while, but don’t know how to get started with it, there are a few things that you can do to ease into the scene.

BDSM is very kinky and can be a lot of fun. However, your comfort level might not be the same as your partner’s. It doesn’t matter if you’re a newbie or a veteran of the scene, you should always know what you are comfortable with and what is going to be beyond your limits. Here is a quick guide to help you get started with BDSM.

What Are You Into?

As mentioned before, there are a lot of subsets with BDSM. Whether you’re into bondage or domination, you need to determine what makes you hot. Some men are really into dominating their partner while others would rather be the submissive. If you are into being whipped or incorporating a little pain into the relationship then you must be careful.

Telling your girlfriend or wife to bite your nipples is a little different than being chained to a bed and flogged. Determine what you are into and what is off limits before you ever bring this up with your partner. Knowing your limits will help define what is acceptable and what is not.

Master Vs. Slave

“Master” and “slave” are a very common terms in BDSM. In this scenario, one of you will be the master and one of you will be the slave. The master controls all aspects of the slave’s life. This means they control their privacy, what they do and when they can perform certain tasks. In many cases, the slave will wear a uniform and a collar. Some slaves do not feel comfortable wearing a collar, but others prefer it. In this form of domination, the actions do not always have to be sexual.

A master can designate certain tasks for the slave to complete. These tasks could include housework or sexual actions. The master is in charge of the slave and the slave must abide by the master’s rules. If you are interested in either of these roles, it’s recommended that you get direction from an experienced dominatrix or a slave.

Experimenting With Bondage

Bondage is another form of BDSM that you can get into fairly easily. The most intricate of bondage equipment will involve chains or bed straps, but you can easily improvise. Using neckties or pieces of satin fabric will not break the skin but can restrain easily. Rope is not recommended unless you are experienced because it will irritate the skin during movement.

Handcuffs work well and can be found at local adult stores or at toy stores. It’s recommended that you buy a good pair of handcuffs as plastic can break easily. If you are the one being restrained, make sure that your partner secures the restraints so you cannot move easily. Bondage allows you or your partner to relinquish control, which a lot of people find sexy.

What Is Masochism?

Masochism is another aspect of BDSM. Masochism is a consensual agreement between you and your partner involving the giving and the receiving of pain. There are different levels of masochism. There is extreme pain and then there is just a little pain. If you have ever enjoyed your girlfriend or wife scratching you with her fingernails then you have experienced a very tame form of masochism.

Masochism is enjoyed in the realm of sexuality. In order words, slamming your hand in a door is not the same as getting whipped by your girlfriend. Start off slow with masochism. Getting too much pain at once can ruin the experience quickly. Start out with a bullwhip and then work your way up to other tools.

Always Keep Safety In Mind

Safety is a must when it comes to BDSM. You must keep safety in the forefront of your mind so you are not only comfortable but also safe from any diseases or puncture wounds. It’s all too easy to get over-enthusiastic and wind up with a lash across your back that hurts for days or even scars. Have a safe word in place with your partner and research any methods that you are going to use before you implement them into the bedroom.

Make sure that all of your restraints are secure so they don’t come flying off the bedposts while in use. Also make sure that your restraints aren’t going to damage your furniture. Discuss any rules beforehand with your partner so they know what is off limits. Use these guidelines and you should be off to a great start with your first BDSM experience.