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Fellatio: What YOU Need To Now About Penile Anatomy

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Fellatio has to start somewhere. Before you engage in the art of fellatio, learn your way around your partner’s sensitive spots to give the ultimate head.

Unlike a vulva, which has as many different parts as it has folds and creases; a penis is pretty cut and dry when it comes to anatomy. This does not mean, however, that penile anatomy does not need to be taken into consideration. Learning the anatomy of a penis is the first step to knowing what you’re doing when it comes to fellatio and it will also help serve as a map when we go into detail about what to do where later in the book. With that having been said, let’s explore the different parts of your guy’s anatomy.

The Shaft

There are many misconceptions about the shaft when it comes to fellatio. Although it comprises the majority of the penis in both circumcised and uncircumcised males, it is the part that has the least amount of nerve endings. During fellatio, it is a wonderful sensation for the man to have the shaft enveloped by a warm, wet mouth but a tongue licking only up and down the shaft is rather boring and may cause his erection to go soft because of the lack of contact on other parts of your partner’s member. This is not a spot to concentrate on for your partner’s pleasure; however, it does have its part in fellatio as a whole. You can also use your hands on the shaft while you entertain more sensitive parts with your tongue and mouth and we’ll explore those techniques later in the book.

The Glans

This is probably the most sensitive part of a man’s penis, also known as the “head.” The glans is much like a clitoris is to the vulva – the source of the majority of the pleasure inducing nerve endings. Also like the clitoris, the glans can be very sensitive and even quite painful to any stimulation following an orgasm and this may be more pronounced depending on the intensity of said orgasm. The largest concentration of nerves in the glans is just at the outer edge or ridge, which is much more pronounced in circumcised males than men who have not been circumcised.

The Frenulum

This too is a spot that is much more pronounced on circumcised males, but that doesn’t mean that men of the uncircumcised variety don’t enjoy attention on this spot as well. The frenulum is the “V” shaped spot that joins the shaft with the glans on the underside of the penis. While not having as many sensitive nerve endings as the glans, this area certainly has more nerve endings than the shaft, so it’s a good place to focus your efforts when you’re ready to heat things up but not bring your partner to a full orgasm just yet. We’ll talk more about exact techniques to use in this spot later in the book. Although the frenulum is less pronounced in uncircumcised males, it actually contains more nerve endings than a circumcised male because it is where the foreskin actually joins the skin of the rest of  it.

The Testicles

The testicles must be approached with care as they are quite possibly the most sensitive (pain-wise) part of the male anatomy. A stroke or touch that is too rough can easily send pain waves throughout your partner’s entire body and turn him off to fellatio completely. This is very similar to how a woman can feel if her sensitive clitoris is handled too roughly – it may turn her off or worse, become uncomfortable and painful to her. Not every man enjoys having his testicles handled, however, so it is important to talk to your partner about this aspect of fellatio before beginning a fellatio session. If he enjoys having his testicles touched, you can utilize blowjob tips that focus on your lover’s scrotum.

The anatomy of a man’s genitals differs greatly, of course, between man to man and even circumcised penis to uncircumcised. Remember, a man is very emotionally sensitive about his anatomy (and his penis size) and any judgment (in either words or facial expressions) can deliver a crippling blow to his ego. Such a situation can make it very emotionally uncomfortable for a man to want to receive fellatio. If this becomes an issue with you and your partner, be sure to discuss it so that both you and he will be more comfortable during a fellatio session.

Erotic Massage: How To Please Your Girl Both Emotionally And Sexually

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Erotic massage is like a session of extended foreplay. And what do women say they wish men would do more of? FOREPLAY! Open your girl up with erotic massage.

Erotic massage is a fabulous way to open doors in your relationship. Taking the time to explore your partner’s body can help you learn what makes your partner more relaxed, excited, turned on and so on. By incorporating erotic massage into your relationship, not only will you be able to use it as a way to meet your partner’s innate need for affection, you will also meet her need for foreplay.

What Women Need To Be Happy

But women need a lot more than just “good” sex to feel happy. For a woman, sex equates to emotional intimacy. If a woman does not feel emotionally connected with her partner, then she will not want to have sex with him. For example, many men can have an argument with their wives, yet still jump into the sack even with unresolved feelings. But women are much different. If a woman is upset with her man due to an argument or any other reason, the last thing she will want to do is have sex with him.

If you are nodding your head in agreement right now, then good for you! At least you recognize the difference between males and females in this respect. But how much you understand may be an entirely different story.

Giving Her A Lot Of Attention

Think about it. In the beginning of your relationship with your woman, you gave her A LOT of attention. She was all you could think about. All you wanted to do with your time. She was the only woman that captured your interest. You dated her, maybe even surprised her with flowers and small gifts for no reason. You commented quite frequently how hot she was and how much she turned you on. But as time went on, she became less of a focal point for you. You found yourself wanting to spend more time with your friends or at work. Maybe now you have a few drinks with your buddies on Fridays or get together on the weekends to watch football. Now you only buy your lady flowers and gifts on special occasions. You still find her incredibly attractive, but you don’t tell her anywhere near as much as you did early on in your relationship—maybe only when you are looking to have sex with her.

This is why sensual and erotic massage is so important. It can help move you out of this sort of rut with your partner and give you a way to show her just how important she is to you. Women need this reassurance from their mates. Without it, they can never be truly happy. By taking time out of your busy life to stop and totally devote yourself to your partner by giving her a sensuous massage, you will please her both emotionally and sexually in a way like never before.

It’s important to keep in mind that sexual desire in a woman begins with sexual arousal. One of the best ways to go about creating sexual arousal within your partner is to satisfy her need for affection and emotional intimacy.

Creating Sexual Arousal Through Erotic Massage

Erotic massage is great for creating sexual arousal in a woman. This is especially achieved through the sexual tension and anticipation it promotes. For women, the thrill and anticipation of sex is what makes the actual act of sex so much better. Through erotic massage, you can create sexual tension by engaging your woman both physically and mentally. The mental and emotional part of the massage is just as important as the physical part. You cannot achieve the ultimate state of sexual arousal or even orgasm if one of those two important components is missing.

Reconnect With Her

Reconnecting with your woman on an emotional level is one of the keys to sexually pleasing your woman. So don’t look at this part of the process of erotic massage as insignificant. It is actually the most significant part of all. It’s like the key that turns an engine on. Without it, you’re not going to go very far. Also keep in mind that women are not carbon copies. No two women are alike. This is why it’s important to find out exactly what your lover likes and doesn’t like as you perform the massage. You can’t use intuition or tricks to get the job done. You have to make a sincere effort and pay attention to your lover and her responses. Erotic massage is not about tricking your woman into sex. It’s about sexually arousing your lady so that she “wants” to have sex.

Sex: Physical Vs. Emotional And Why You Need To Know The Difference

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Sex has several facets to it, but the biggest two are the physical side of sex and the emotional side of sex. Here’s why YOU need to understand the difference. Every time sex is on the table, two elements come in focus – there’s a PHYSICAL and a PSYCHOLOGICAL-EMOTIONAL side.

One is not more important than the other, and they are not mutually exclusive. But for our purposes here, we shall treat them as if they were.

One Side Of Sex Vs. The Other

Physical sex refers to those luscious lips you long to kiss, that pair of erect nipples on a horny woman’s heaving bosom and that firm body you long to be on top of.

Psychological-Emotional sex can refer to many things. Since sex stands on an interactional and symbolic basis, the issues of self-esteem, self-control, self-concept, self-confidence, dominance and sexual hang-ups come in. Also included are the feelings for the person you’re with, or the lack thereof. It’s your perception of the relationship, is it a one-night stand or a long-term thing?

The Difference Between Men And Women When It Comes To Sex

Men are naturally dialed to the physical. Huge breasts. Tight ass. And of course—a freak in bed, willing to try every silly trick in the book. Still, it doesn’t mean the psychological-emotional issues never come in. One can’t escape them – whether one likes it or not, both sides come into play every time.

Women dig the Psychological-Emotional, and for many, sex presupposes an emotional connection. Not necessarily the “I’m so gonna marry this guy” feeling, but at least a feeling of closeness and comfort. Barring the effects of alcohol, many won’t sleep with a guy unless they feel something. “I’m not that kind of girl,” they’d say.

But that’s not alluding to women never looking at the physical – your girl  is much hornier than you think. They do get it on, and when they get going, they REALLY get going. They absolutely lust for and look at the physical – “He’s got to have blue eyes, a captivating smile and a tongue that won’t quit.”

You can say that women are plugged to both physical & psychological aspects. They know that the best sex is when it’s with someone they really care about. Eve knows that having a warm body on top of her, caressing places where-the-sun-don’t-shine, is physically rewarding, but when it’s done by the person she’s really into, it becomes more intense – a lot more! That’s the psychological-emotional part talking right there.

Combining The Two Together To Become Great At Sex

Get this: Getting laid in the most ecstatic and unbelievable manner will always involve the recognition of the 2 sides. The greatest encounters cannot unfold by virtue of only the physical. The psychological-emotional is a big, big chunk of the game and overlooking it deprives one the full continuum of pleasures.

To become a great lover, one cannot miss the emotional train and purely take a physical stance. Many women, probably the majority, get satisfaction not mainly through the physical but from its emotional underpinnings. Emotions are a big hit to your girl; she is literally a slave to them.

Thus, what you accomplish in her emotionally reinforces what you accomplish physically. You may not really be a blast when it comes to sex techniques and fanfare, but you will still rock her world if she’s really that into you – (her brain will think so.)

Foreplay: How To Undress A Woman

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Foreplay is essential to great sex, but you don’t have to wait until your girl is naked to start. Here’s how to make GETTING her naked part of the foreplay!

By touching your partner during foreplay, you are telling your partner that you are interested in having sex. In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that one hundred percent of the women polled feel that when their partner touches them, it is a sex-signaling mechanism. In other words, touching someone you care about is read by women as another way of asking, “Would you like to have sex?”

Try to casually touch your lover as much as possible without being clingy or needy. Merely let them know that you are interested, and you will drive the arousal levels sky high.

Undressing And Getting Ready

It really doesn’t matter how you take your partner’s clothes off; they can fly off in the heat of the moment, be stripped off as a tease, or peeled off gently and one by one. The point is that her clothes are coming off and that’s a good thing but some items are a bit harder to get off than others. Let’s look at some of these issues and how to work around them.

Should I Take Her Clothes Off?

Listen to your partner, both what she’s saying and her movements. Is she begging you to remove her clothes, or is she taking them off for you? Does she offer advice on how to remove certain bits and pieces, or does she look at you provocatively in anticipation? Pay attention to the nuances.

If you find yourself nervous and fumbling, slow things down even further. Rub the places that you want to remove the clothes, first, to warm up her skin and really sensitize her body to your touch. Or, kiss and nibble those same areas lightly before detaching whatever clothing you’re working on next. Trust me, the more time you take at this stage of the game, the more aroused she’ll get, and the more attentive and caring you’ll come across.

Should Everything Come Off?

A valid question, but one that probably is better answered in the heat of the moment. Some women are self-conscious and aren’t comfortable whipping off their clothes while with someone new, but it shouldn’t be too much of an issue if you’re going slow while tickling, lightly biting or being playful as you move around her body. Make her comfortable and anything is possible, but you will eventually need her panties to come off if you want to perform oral sex.

How Do I Get Her Bra Off?

Like the condom wrapper or dental dam, bra clasps are a tricky thing to master, especially when you’re excited and can’t wait. Try first undoing it with two hands (much easier), then move on to the one-handed technique with these tips:

  • Kiss her neck and tickle her with your breath; most women love this and can’t get enough of it. While you’re behind her, it’s relatively easy to see where her bra strap is, so you can grab it with two hands and remove it that way.
  • If you’re standing in front of her, give her a hug. Then, use both of your hands to grab her bra clasp, and pinch it together like you’re trying to open a chip bag. You’ll know you’ve got it because the bra will come off. (And as an aside, this technique works exceptionally well with only one hand too – a man I used to date could undo my bra with one hand in mere seconds whenever he hugged me hello. It just takes a bit of practice).

Oral Sex Techniques That Don’t Involve The Clitoris

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Oral sex techniques almost always concentrate on her clitoris – here are some oral sex techniques that focus on the REST of her incredible hot spots!

Wait, what’s that? The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman’s body and is partially if not wholly responsible for a woman’s orgasm during cunnilingus – why not go straight for it? That’s the “orgasm button,” right? Well, yes. But also remember that it can be painfully sensitive as well – which means that direct stimulation can sometimes have the exact opposite effect that you want it to. But didn’t you do all the “preheating” with the warm bath and the sensual conversation? Of course, but keep in mind that you were only relaxing her mind and body. Now you need to get her vulva involved.

Where Else Is There To Go?

If you’re not heading straight for the clitoris, where do you go? That’s easy – everywhere else. One of the most sensual and exciting experiences for a woman during cunnilingus is to have her entire vulva explored eagerly and completely with a warm, wet mouth. Let us emphasize eagerly and completely – make a few sounds as though you were eating something really delicious (well, you are, aren’t you?) and don’t let an inch of her vulva escape your mouth. There are, however, a few techniques that you can utilize before moving directly to the clitoris.

Wide, Slow Strokes

You’ll want to spread your tongue out wide, like you were about to lick an ice cream cone. Start at her perineum (or her vagina if you don’t want to go quite that far down south or if analingus gives you the creeps) and work your way up. If you’re not pressing too hard, you can go over the clitoris – this indirect licking, if you will, wakes up her clitoris and gets it ready for what’s to come. This “wide lapping” move is a great first move – it simply feels wonderful to have a warm, wet tongue covering the entire vulva and moving up slowly, enhancing every last sensation. You’ll want to spend a good one to two minutes utilizing this technique at first, and then it can be mixed in with other techniques either before focusing on the clitoris or during primary clitoral stimulation.

In Between The Labia

This is a great move to help transition from the wide, slow strokes into more detailed cunnilingus. You can use the “wide” technique during this stroke as well, or you can mix it up and use a semi-pointed tongue. A very sharp and pointed tongue is generally not something you want to use during this particular technique – leave that to clitoral flicking, which we’ll go over later in the clitoral stimulation techniques. Remember how we said that it feels divine to have an eager tongue explore every nook and cranny of her vulva? This is primarily the technique that will give her that sensation. Use your flat or semi-pointed tongue (semi-pointed does work best) and work your way slowly in between her inner and outer labia from top to bottom. You can even nibble her labia gently with your teeth (or, if you’re concerned about your teeth being too sharp, you can use the same technique with your lips turned inward and covering your teeth) to give her added pleasure.

Again, you’ll want to avoid the clitoris for the most part during this technique; however, if your lady is getting a little antsy, you can lick between her labia and move up, brushing the side of the clitoris with the side of your tongue. This works well if she seems to be craving clitoral stimulation, but keep in mind that at this point, the clitoris is most likely still too sensitive to strike head-on. Another great technique you can use while focusing more on the entirety of the vulva (before reaching the clitoris) is what some like to call a “lollipop lick.”

This sort of lick encompasses the entire area and, similar to the motions used while licking a lollipop (and we mean those big ones you get at amusement parks and Chuck E. Cheese’s) – from the outside in. Start on the outside of her labia and work your way inward using slow and wide tongue strokes. If you wish, you can end the “lollipop” on her clitoris and begin to use the clitoral techniques outlined below.

Tongue Thrusting

This is great move to help transition from either a wide, flat “ice-cream cone” tongue or labia exploring into more focused cunnilingus. Bring your tongue back down to her vaginal opening and insert it gently, much like you would a finger if you were pleasuring her with your hands. You may find that either you or your partner does not like very deep tongue thrusting, so start out very light and gentle until you get a feel for it. Just licking barely in and out of the vaginal opening will give her a great feeling, so no need to try and reach her cervix with your tongue. This is also a great place to begin working on your flicking, which you will use later on her clitoris when she is more geared up and nearer orgasm. Her vaginal opening is sensitive as well (not as sensitive as the clitoral head or shaft) and she will get a wonderful preview of the strokes you are getting ready to use that will bring her to a delicious orgasm.

Use Your Lips

Although the tongue is the most powerful muscle in the body, there’s just nothing that compares to a soft set of lips caressing the entire vulva. This creates a soft, sucking sensation that will send chills down her spine (and you will probably receive a few moans in appreciation). You can use your lips as an icebreaker to clitoral stimulation since they are much softer than your tongue, or you can use them on the rest of the vulva, particularly the labia. Gently sucking her labia in and out of your pursed lips feels exceptionally wonderful, but make sure that if you are going to use your lips that they are nice and wet (by this time, she may already be wet enough for the both of you). If, however, you find them somewhat dry, you can lick them to moisten them and you can even incorporate this movement into the cunnilingus itself. A great way to use both the lips and the tongue together during cunnilingus is to act as though you’re French kissing her vulva. This feels great! Again, it gives your partner the sensation of having her most sensitive and private parts be fully explored, kissed and caressed. Another variation on this technique is to place your entire mouth on her vulva. You can then move into a gentle sucking or use your open mouth to gently blow warm air onto her vulva.