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You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

4 Oral Sex Rules You MUST Follow!

By loveandsex

Oral sex isn’t just something you can “stick your face down there and do.” As with most things, there are a few things you need to follow when it comes to oral sex. If you don’t, you will most likely not be successful at pleasing your woman!

Cultivate A Sense Of Humor

Sex is one of the funniest things out there, and not just because of the weird sounds and strange interests we cultivate. Think about it: both gender’s genitalia are forged from the same embryonic tissue, yet how those bits and pieces become aroused and ready for sex are incredibly different. As you’ll learn later in this series, it normally takes men a considerably shorter amount of time to go from arousal to climax than a woman, leaving her, literally, hanging at the end of an encounter.

Plus, after orgasm both men and women have something called oxytocin floating around in their system. Known as the ‘cuddle hormone’, it makes many men unable to do much more than sleep after a lively bout of sex, whereas women want to bond, cuddle and coo with their partners. Sure, it may lead to a lot of heartache between partners, but you can’t deny that how it all works is really quite humorous.

Understand Where The Action Is

If you want to make your partner orgasm, focus on her clitoris. With more than double the amount of nerve endings as compared to the penis, the ability to give a woman multiple orgasms, and a purpose of nothing more than to please, the clitoris offers more than the vagina ever can.

The clitoris is a fantastic feat of divine engineering. With more than eighteen visible and tucked away parts, it’s the main event when it comes to pleasing a woman sexually. (Don’t worry, we’ll detail all of its aspects throughout this eBook). All in all, the clitoris is less like a ‘button’ and more like a complex network of interconnected circuits, all waiting to be stroked and explored properly for the ultimate of satisfaction.

Tongue Trumps Penis

Most men are familiar with Ron Jeremy, the bearded porn star known for his large penis and even bigger personality. The guy is paid to do it, and does it well, so it’s no surprise that he’s been quoted as saying, “More women have gotten off with my tongue than with my penis.” Even noted sex researchers such as Shere Hite of the Hite Report On Sexuality have commented that penetrative intercourse doesn’t seem to offer women the opportunity to orgasm all of the time. Which makes sense when you think about it, as a woman’s clitoris is positioned just a little bit too high for it to be rubbed the right way during most sex acts.

Need more proof? A study quoted in the book Sex: A Man’s Guide, found that women in long term, monogamous relationships found intercourse satisfying only sixty-eight percent of the time, whereas cunnilingus pleased them eight-two percent of the time. As well, sex only gave them an orgasm during a quarter of their sexual escapades with their partners, but oral sex brought them to climax almost every time (81%).

Learn What Works, Fix What Doesn’t (The Most Important One)

Think you know all there is to know already about oral sex? Many women have time and time again said that their male partners were too harsh, eager, slow, not open to suggestion, or lost focus at critical times.

So most men, in their efforts to please their partner, go looking for information from the most available of sources: pornography, magazines, friends and/or books. But the issue is that most of these sources have the information wrong – not that they are trying to mislead you, but rather, they just don’t know the mechanics of a woman’s orgasm well enough to say, “Oral sex is best!” and “Do it this way to ensure an orgasm!” Most information sources will only give you tidbits, part of the picture, or don’t explain why you’re doing what you’re doing.

That’s why this is one of the few rules that shouldn’t be broken when it comes to oral sex: learn what works for your gal, take note of it, use if often, and play around to see if there’s something new that you may have missed. Discard what doesn’t work, or what doesn’t get her revving, and you’ll be that much closer to a routine that guarantees success.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: clitoris, cunnilingus, female orgasm, have better sex, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

Q&A: I Don’t Like Giving A Blowjob – Do I Have To?

By loveandsex

A blowjob is an amazing gift that you can give to a man – it’s not only an act of pure submission to your partner’s pleasure, but it’s also something that feels totally incredible to him if you do it right. But not every girl likes giving head – some girls absolutely HATE doing it! Is a blowjob something you have to do for a guy to please him, or can you keep him sexually satisfied without oral sex?

When I was still dating my ex, every time we had sex he always tried to pressure me into giving him a blowjob. The first time I tried it, I almost gagged because of the taste. He kept begging me to do it and I would keep telling him no. I know for a fact that I won’t be able to avoid it if I become sexually involved in my next relationship. So my question is, how can I still give my future partner the pleasure he deserves without having to do what I don’t like?

–YouTube Viewer

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You Never Have To Do Anything You Don’t Want To Do

When it comes to sex, even if you’re in a relationship, know that you don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t ever let someone pressure or force you into doing something that you’re not on board with – because frankly, that’s rape. If you don’t like something sexually, simply be honest with your partner and don’t do it. Don’t let them use the “If you love me, you’ll do it” line on you because if they love and care about you, they’ll be willing to compromise with you to find something else that feels good to them but that you don’t absolutely despise.

Do Most Women Enjoy Giving A Blowjob?

Sexual preferences are so diverse between people that it’s really unfair for you to try to compare yourself to other women and what they like or don’t like. The truth is, there are a lot of girls that LOVE giving their partners a blowjob. For them, sex just isn’t complete without giving their partner oral sex first. Then again, there are also lots of other girls who – like you – can’t stand it. It doesn’t turn them on and in many cases, it actually grosses them out. The same goes for guys – some guys are into oral sex and others aren’t. There’s no set rule on whether you have to enjoy giving your lover a blowjob to be “normal” or “like other women.”

Why Do Some Girls Not Like Performing Fellatio?

There are a number of reasons why some women don’t like performing fellatio on their partners, all of which are very valid reasons for not wanting to give a blowjob:

  • Some women have a stronger gag reflex than others. For these women, it’s not even about deep throating – they’ll gag before their partner’s penis even touches the back of their throat.
  • They’re afraid of having to swallow their partner’s semen.
  • The taste or texture of semen can make a woman gag or vomit.

How To Make Giving Oral Sex Better

If you don’t like giving a blowjob but want to try to make it better for yourself so that you can give the gift of oral sex to the person you care about, there are several things you can do to make giving head a little easier:

  • Use a condom to keep the semen from getting in your mouth when your lover ejaculates. A flavored condom is an even better choice if you have issues with the taste of your partner’s penis in general.
  • Don’t try to deep throat – this WILL set off your gag reflex. Instead, use your hand at the base of your partner’s penis to stroke his shaft, and keep only the head of his penis in your mouth.
  • If not using a condom, ask for a fair warning before he ejaculates. There should be plenty of time for him to pull out of your mouth and ejaculate into a towel or a tissue.
  • Finish your lover off with a great handjob if you don’t want to swallow.
  • If you want to try swallowing but the taste grosses you out, there are many things you can do to improve the taste of his semen. Eliminate smoking, drinking and eating pungent foods like garlic and onions. Instead, substitute sweeter foods like pineapple (which can work wonders), strawberries and supplement with lots of water. This won’t improve the texture of his semen, but it will make it taste sweeter to you and a lot less bitter.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, fellatio, oral sex, sex tips

How To Give Your Girl A Thigh Quivering Orgasm – In 5 EASY Steps!

By loveandsex

An orgasm is the icing on the cake when it comes to sex for women – so here’s how to give your woman one so incredible, her legs shake!

Is it really so hard to give a woman an orgasm? Many say it’s difficult but many men also claim that it’s very easy… IF you know what to do. So the question is, do you?

Any healthy, loving and lasting relationship counts a great sex life as a key ingredient. And if you look around you, it’s probably not hard to tell which couples are truly happy with each other. These are the couples that still look at each other with lust in their eyes! So what’s their secret? It’s probably because they are BOTH sexually satisfied in their relationship.

A lot of people know that women don’t reach an orgasm as easily or as quickly as men. What many don’t realize is that this does nothing but build sexual frustration. And sexual frustration manifests itself in many negative ways in a relationship; until one day, you both wake up and realize that you no longer have passion in each other and in your lives.

The good news is it’s really not hard at all to make a woman reach an orgasm. But you both have to work at it, which, if you think about it, is part of the fun as well!

Step 1

Engage in a lot of foreplay! Foreplay is very important because it helps her relax her mind and make her more focused on the lovemaking at hand. It’s also a great way to bond as many women associate foreplay as a man’s way of taking time and ensuring sex is not just a physical act but about intimacy.

Foreplay can start hours or even days in advance and is really limited only by your sexual imagination. As you keep this ‘sexual tension’ high, you’ll find that it’s actually easier to bring her to an orgasm once you do engage in sex.

Step 2

If foreplay is the ‘primer,’ oral sex is the next big step. Many women actually claim that oral sex is the ONLY way they can reach an orgasm so if you both want it to be that way, then don’t resist.

When you do go down on her, don’t rush it. Show her that you really love her by lavishing her genitals with your undivided attention. Enjoy the journey as much as the destination so to speak.

At the start, just tease and lick softly and lovingly. Once she’s focused on that part of her body, increase the tempo. When you notice that her breathing is getting faster and harder or if her legs are becoming taut, move your attention to her clitoris. Tease it by drawing small circles around it with your tongue and then apply more pressure and lick faster.

If she gives any indication at all that she’s really turned on, remember this: DON’T change anything. Keep the tempo of what you’re doing and she’ll reach her orgasm soon enough.

Step 3

If your tongue doesn’t bring her to an immediate orgasm, don’t despair. Don’t forget that your fingers can be put to good use too! Use your index finger to ‘trace’ the outline of her labia. Be sure to touch her gently. This is guaranteed to electrify her body. After this, place your index and middle finger together and then draw circles around her clitoris.

Pay attention to her body (is it in a pleasured, relaxed state or is it pulled taut like a string?) to gauge just how turned on she is. Don’t forget to pay attention to her moans and groans as well.

You can alternate using your tongue and fingers to stimulate her clitoris and just like what’s advised above, if she indicates something that’s really turning her on, just keep doing it!

Step 4

If clitoral stimulation has not brought on an orgasm yet, then try G-spot stimulation! Assuming that she’s already hot and wet, slowly insert your index and middle finger inside her womanhood, palm up. Once inside, position your fingers to the “11 o’clock.” Slowly try and locate a small bump or swelling (like an engorged clitoris). Once you find this spot, congratulations – you’ve located the elusive G-spot!

Step 5

You can stimulate the G-spot in many ways. You can tap it with your fingers, draw lazy or frenzied circles around it, or flick it wildly like a light switch. If you wish, you can use your thumb to stimulate her clitoris while stimulating her G-spot. This will surely give her an orgasm to be remembered!

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: clitoris, cunnilingus, female orgasm, foreplay, g spot, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

How NOT To Be Boring In Bed!

By loveandsex

Sex tips are something you want to have in your “tool belt” if you don’t want to make your girl yawn instead of orgasm. Use these sex tips to keep things fresh.

Don’t Be A Bore In Bed

Most men seem to think that there is a method to sex – it’s called the Foreplay-Penetration-Ejaculation (FPE) Sequence. There are two major things wrong with this misconception: 1) It’s boring, and 2) It’s all about your pleasure. I will elaborate by addressing the issues one at a time.

Why It’s Lame

The bore factor of FPE may be obvious to some, but let me explain further as to why. Let’s say you really like a certain kind of bratwurst, so you have two a day for dinner. After a while, it no longer becomes a special treat. It still tastes delicious, but it ceases to be interesting. You may end up losing your taste for it all together.

She will react the same way to boring sex. Maybe you go down on her every day, fulfilling the foreplay obligation of the FPE sequence. How long until you’re down there for hours, tongue exhausted, while she’s filing her nails? The best lover is the one who understands variety. I’m not talking about whips and chains and three-ways, just a willingness to vary the process from time to time.

Communication Is Key!

Couples are sometimes embarrassed to talk openly about sex and what happens in the bedroom, but for different reasons. Women are generally socialized to not criticize. Men will take suggestions as a blow to their egos. However, direction is not criticism. You are not a mind reader, nor should she expect you to be. Encourage open dialogue, even in the middle of the act. If she is telling you, “to the left, to the left,” this is not criticism of your technique; she’s just helping you figure out what feels good to her. Now onto the next problem.

It Shouldn’t Be All About YOU

I have some bad news. Your partner does not think that your penis is God’s gift to the world. She is not in bed with you so she can look at your penis, stroke your penis, or smother your penis with undying adoration. You’re the only one in the room who is that blatantly fond of your member. She is in bed with you because of you. She likes you enough to allow you to enter her body. Don’t give her a reason to reconsider.

How SHE Gets Pleasure

The semantics of FPE explains the issue. She neither penetrates you (unless you’re into that kind of thing) nor does she ejaculate (well, some women do). The part that is most pleasurable to her is relegated to the opening third of the act. There is no law that says sex has to happen in that exact sequence, nor is it necessary to see sex as merely penetration.

The act of being intimate is sex to her. Touching, kissing, sucking, and caressing are all part of it. Readjust your thinking for her sake, and don’t make your member the primary factor in the situation. Remember, there are two people in that bed, and only one penis.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: ejaculation, foreplay, penetration, sex tips

How To Give An Erotic Massage In The Bathtub

By loveandsex

An erotic massage will make a woman so relaxed, she’ll want to do anything with you! Here’s how to give her a great rub down in the tub.

One of the ways a woman gives herself a relaxing treat is by soaking in a long, hot bath so you can take this opportunity to really give her a treat by preparing a bath for her. Of course, with other ‘extra treats’ as only you can provide.

How to Prepare a ‘Proper’ Bath for Her

No guys, a bath is not just filling the tub with hot water and pouring some bubble bath solution in it. If you’re going to do this, do it good and create the right ambiance for her.

First, close the windows and blinds and submerge the whole bathroom in darkness. Next, light some candles. They can be scented or not depending on what type of aromatherapy or scented oil you used.

So for example, if you’re using vanilla oil on the oil diffuser, don’t use strawberry-scented candles as the heady, super sweet smells will most likely give you both a headache. Aim for one scent or like what’s mentioned above, use non-scented candles if you’re going to burn scented oils.

Also, don’t scrimp on the candles okay? The more, the merrier!

Next, put on some soothing music and make sure it’s not too loud or too soft. To test this, turn the music on and go into the bathroom and close the door a bit. Check if the music level is just right.

Next, make sure everything you need is within reach. It’s not good if you break the erotic massage all the time by running out of the bathroom! Plus, it’s not good for the overall warm temperature in the bathroom. Just put everything you need on a tray and set this on the toilet or on a small chair.

Don’t forget a few edible treats. A glass of wine or champagne and a platter of crackers and cheese are sexy and will make you both last long during the erotic massage.

Sexual Massage Moves In The Bath

For starters, let her soak in the bath for about 5 to 10 minutes just to loosen her tight muscles and wracked nerves. Don’t join her in the bath just yet.

Start sexually massaging her while you’re still outside the tub. Sit on the edge or pull up a chair and use a wooden massage roller and move this along her body.

You can also position yourself at the top edge of the tub so you can massage her head. Slip your hands under her shoulders and then draw them up and out. A variation of this step is to pull your hands along the underside of the head, with your fingers against the back of the neck.

Feel free to shampoo her hair too. The pressure of your hands on her scalp in combination with the soft suds of the shampoo will feel great. Besides, this is the beauty of an erotic massage in the bathroom, no cares for the all the water and soap that might spill on the floor.

Get In The Bathtub Too

Now, without breaking your massage strokes, climb into the bathtub and join her. Sit behind her with her back to yours (sort of like spoon to spoon). Start massaging her shoulders and work your way to her lower back. And now comes the best part – massaging her front.

Start by reaching over and cupping her breasts (gently!) You can use the soap suds or better yet, put more soap gel on your hands and start massaging her breasts as if you were trying to create a lot of lather!

Tease her by massaging her breasts, moving to her shoulders, going back to her breasts, going down and rubbing her stomach, back to hear breasts again. Each time, be a bit more daring and go lower and lower her front. For instance, just massage or ‘clean’ her belly button with your finger and then go back to her breasts before going down to her clitoris.

Here’s a naughty tip for you: unless your woman has gone Brazilian (i.e., has had all her pubic hair shaved off) you can try ‘shampooing’ her hair down there! Simply apply the same strokes you would as if you were washing her hair.

As a climax to this hot tub sexual massage, you may go ahead and insert your finger in her ‘sweet spot.’ Remember, this should be part of the sexual massage and should not be seen as the sexual act itself so be gentle while you finger her. The objective is not to make her orgasm but to simply ‘connect’ with that special place as well. Good luck!

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: erotic massage, fingering, foreplay, have better sex, sex tips

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