Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

What Men Can Learn From Lesbian Sex

By

Lesbian sex can sometimes be more satisfying for a woman than sex with a guy – why is that and how can you recreate it?

I know what you’re thinking. You’re expecting some “Brianna Loves Jenna” play-by-play involving pillow fights and strap-ons. Well, it’s not happening. That’s your version of lesbian sex, and you’re way off base. Women in lesbian relationships generally report a higher level of sexual satisfaction than their heterosexual counterparts. “Well, yeah,” you’re thinking, “they have the equipment.” Well, yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. The “equipment” you deem necessary for sex is just your penis, which is quite different than what women bring to the bedroom. Kissing, touching, sucking, caressing – these are all parts of a woman’s sexual experience, and you’ve been ignoring them.

Are Men Boring In Bed?

This may come as a shock to most men, but a lot of women think men are boring in the sack. This is because men think that there is a method to sex: get her wet, get inside, and get your rocks off. There is no real explanation for how this sequence of events became the norm, but it’s causing real sexual inhibitions in men.

Sex is not a job. There’s no sequence of tasks that must be performed in order to achieve the end game, i.e. blowing your wad. Concentrating solely on your own orgasm takes the intimacy out of the sexual experience. You may have gotten off, but you haven’t maximized the pleasure of either party. Okay, maybe you went down on her. Were you savoring each sensation? Or were you thinking, “Hurry up and cum so I can get up in there!”

Orgasms & Oral Sex

When two women have sex, they are not working toward one simple goal. An orgasm does not signal the end, and they don’t go in treating it as such. Every look and every touch is part of the experience. The warmth of the other’s lips, the softness of her skin, and how she responds to being touched is shared between partners. It is very much about the two coming together for mutual pleasure and shared intimacy. It is also about fun, and you know what they say about girls just wanted to have fun.

Oral sex is a very large part of lesbian sex, simply because girls recognize it as one of the greatest ways to experience an orgasm. While many girls only couples do take part in fingering each other or using strap-ons or other sex toys to pleasure their lovers, oral sex is almost always a part of true, honest to goodness lesbian sex because it just simply feels divine for the receiving partner! You can tease and please with oral sex, or you can get down and dirty and really give your lover something to squeal about. Many men disregard the importance of oral sex for a woman – because plain ol’ intercourse gets him off, it should get her off too, right? Take a cue from the lezzies and engage in some great foreplay and oral sex with your lover. Make her toes curl!

How NOT To Miss Out

Fear not, pal, there’s good news for you, too. Your heterosexual female partner is responding to your lips and hands in the same way a gay woman responds to her lover. She loves the way your skin smells and the way your breath tastes. It’s how you got her into bed in the first place. When she gives you a blowjob, it’s not because she just loves having a penis in her mouth, it’s because she savors the pleasure it provides you. Making love in this way satisfies all your senses, not just your penis. Don’t miss out on all the pleasure! You’re only cheating yourself.

Advanced Foreplay Techniques: Drive Her Wild With Nipple Play

By

Advanced foreplay techniques can really up the ante in your sex life. Sex can get boring or monotonous after some time, especially when you’re with someone for months and even years. You come to expect certain things during sex and you get used to how your partner does things – and while this isn’t always a bad thing (comfortable sex can be really great sometimes) – the fire will wane after a while.

If your sex life is in a rut, you are probably looking for any and all tips and techniques that you can use to spice things up between you and your lover. Nipple play is one of the greatest advanced foreplay techniques in your arsenal. Here’s how to make her toes curl by playing with her nipples!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnKX48lZy24&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Most Men Don’t Know How To Stimulate A Woman’s Nipples The Right Way

The majority of men don’t know how to stimulate a woman’s nipples in a way that will be pleasing to her. Some men forget about massaging or stimulating the breasts completely, while other guys play with them a little bit and then move on completely to other parts of her body, without ever coming back to stimulate the nipples again.

Other guys pinch too hard or manhandle a woman’s breasts, causing pain and discomfort. Very few guys actually touch a girl’s breasts and nipples the way that she likes. Did you know that you can give a woman incredibly powerful orgasms by including her breasts when using advanced foreplay techniques?

Start Slowly And Softly

Just like with anything sexual, you want to start off slowly and softly. You don’t want to grab your lover’s breasts too hard, and you don’t want to start pinching her nipples right away. You want to lead up to more direct and aggressive stimulation only after you’ve sufficiently gotten your partner turned on.

Lift her breasts when you caress them, and touch them softly. Very lightly caress her nipples with your fingers, before ever putting your lips or tongue on them. Kiss and lick all around her nipples, but don’t go for the gold just yet. You want to tease a little bit and get her craving your touch before you give it to her. Don’t forget to take your time, enjoy yourself and have fun!

Licking And Sucking Her Nipples

When using advanced foreplay techniques on your partner’s breasts, you’re going to want to put your mouth on them at some point, after you’ve touched her softly and gotten her turned on. Lick softly and slowly over her nipples with your tongue. Feel free to draw her nipple in your mouth and suck on it or flick it with your tongue for a few seconds, but do not start nursing. That is not arousing!

You can easily incorporate temperature play here by breathing softly on her nipples either with warm or cool air. Take your time, because it takes plenty of time for a woman to get really warmed up and aroused.

Taking It A Step Further

After your lover is aroused, you can start thinking about gently nibbling on her nipples or using a little more suction or pressure. A slightly firmer touch can be very pleasurable for a woman if she’s already aroused. If you start out with intense pinching or firm sucking before she’s fully and completely aroused, you’re very likely going to turn her off. The more aroused she is, the more pressure she can take (and enjoy) when you’re using advanced foreplay techniques.

Alternate Between Oral Sex And Nipple Play

To take your advanced foreplay techniques even further, you can incorporate oral sex into your nipple play. After getting your lover aroused by stimulating her nipples, you can switch to oral sex and lick her clitoris for a few minutes before switching your attention back to her breasts. If you plan to be doing this for any length of time, you definitely want to switch between at least two different areas to stimulate. If you stimulate one area for too long, it’s not going to feel as pleasurable as it did, even if it was incredibly pleasurable for her before. It may even start to hurt if you don’t move around at all!

After just a few minutes of going back and forth between her breasts and oral sex, she’s going to be begging for you to finish her off! If you want to really push her hot buttons – or if you’re looking to give her an orgasm – lightly pinch and rub her nipples at the same time you’re licking her clitoris. Listen to your lover’s moans of pleasure and pay attention to her body language to know what you need to be doing next!

Hot Foreplay Buttons You DIDN’T Know About!

By

Foreplay is so critical to the female orgasm. Check out these sweet triggers that will get her dripping wet – and you probably never knew they existed!

There are 101 things that you can do tonight that can make your woman’s blood boil a little hotter. A lot of men think immediately that this involves new and difficult sex positions or even the use of sexual aids but really, just having an idea of which pleasure buttons to hit is all it takes. Read on!

The Neck

While making out, make sure your lips and tongue give attention to your lover’s neck. Ok, a lot of men do that already and you’ve probably applied that technique yourself… but what about that soft and tender patch of skin in front of her ears?!? While kissing or licking this soft area, whisper something sweet or something lewd! Now that will get your girl going.

Lick Her Lips Like You’ll Lick Her….

Break away from kissing her just a bit and then lick her lips. While licking her lips oh so gently, whisper that you can’t wait to lick her down there too!

Tease Her More

Just when she’s wet and panting, glide your hand down there and caress her through her undies. And then say something with the word ‘soaking’ in your sentence.

Touch Yourself

Make your way to the bed and as she’s lying there, deliberately get off the bed and put some distance between the two of you. Now undress, making sure she sees exactly how turned on you are. You don’t need to engage in full-on masturbation but touching yourself once or twice to show how long you are for her is a good idea.

Playing With A Scarf

As she lays down naked in bed, run a silk tie or silk scarf all over her. Now ask her to turn around and this time, as the silk tie or scarf runs over her spine, follow it up with your hot tongue.

A Bed Dance

Instead of a striptease, why not ask your lover for a ‘bed dance’ instead? This is when she dances completely naked all over you as you like completely naked on your back. Have her sashay all over your face, chest, and yes, down there.

Hotter Oral Sex

While giving oral sex, place a pillow under her to elevate her mound. This will give you more access, and her, more pleasure.

Going For A “Drive”

While out on a weekend drive, pull over somewhere semi-secluded and then ask her to pleasure you or bend down and suck on her breasts.

A Little Twist On The “69”

Instead of the standard 69 position, why not place your manhood between her breasts instead while you guys in this position. Or why not do the ‘inverted 69’. This is when she sits on you but instead of using your mouth on your manhood. She sits up and uses her hands on you instead.

Get A Peek

This time, while she’s on top, ask her NOT to remove her clothes. Instead, lift up her t-shirt or lingerie every now and then so you can get a “peek” at what you’re doing down there.

Doggy Style, Lying Down

Take her from behind doggy style but instead of being on your knees, do this lying down. The pleasure will be more intense!

If It’s Not Rough, It Isn’t Fun

Don’t be shy to ‘rough each other up’ once in a while! So tonight, don’t go to your bedroom; don’t even lie down. Do it against a wall with your clothes still on and just about 10 minutes before somebody is due to visit you! The roughness, the wildness, and the thrill of being caught with your pants down – literally! – will make this the hottest sex ever!

Twist It Up

While she’s on the ‘woman on top’ position, ask her to SLOWLY turn around (face your feet instead). As she does this, stay as unmoving as you can in bed. This will enable you to feel every inch of her on your manhood as she twists and turns.

Get It On In The A.M.

Morning sex is so underrated! Tomorrow morning, why not engage in slow sensual sex OR take her rough over the bathroom sink as she tries to brush her teeth!

There’s lots of ways you can increase the hotness meter in your bedroom (or elsewhere) without having to engage in anything you may consider “taboo.” Just let your imagination run a little wild and just go with it! You can never anticipate what reaction you’ll get from your partner until you try.

4 Things You Need To Know About Anal Sex

By

Ah, anal sex. Depending on the person, it is the greatest fantasy or the worst turn-off. Some women run in fear at the thought, while some practically beg for it. There are men who will do anything to get in the backdoor, and others who couldn’t imagine putting it in the poop shoot (FYI, not even all gay men like anal). If you’re one that wants to see what all the fuss is about, here is a step-by-step guide to making it a pleasurable, or at least tolerable, experience for both. Warning: this is a high-risk activity.

Use Plenty Of Lube

Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubrication. Use a water based lubricant. You can get something flavored if you want to put it on her before you stick your tongue in there. However, never, EVER attempt anal sex without lubrication. It will cause tearing in her anus, not to mention a lot of pain.

Relaxation Is Key!

Have her take some deep breaths. Perhaps you can give her a massage first to loosen her up. If she is a little ball of tension, it causes the sphincter to tighten. If that’s tight, you’ll never get in. Engaging in some oral sex or other foreplay to get her turned on is one of the best ways to get her to relax.

Warm Her Up First

Slip a finger in. Start small, especially if this is her first time. Meaning, use your pinky. Once you’re all lubed up, glide it in and out slowly and gently to get her used to insertion. Next try your ring finger. Really work it out. Insert it, swivel around, tickle. The more time you can spend the better. If she can’t handle your finger, she sure as hell won’t be able to handle your penis. That is, and I hope for your sake, if your penis is larger than your digits.

Go Slow

Now you’re ready. Don’t go jabbing your member straight into the no-no hole. You will be immediately kicked out of bed, maybe forever. Particularly amongst anal virgins, this needs to be gradual. Tease the anus a bit, and then slide in just the head. Pull out, and then slide it in a little deeper. Keep doing it until you can comfortable get it all the way in. Don’t add speed or pressure until she is ready for it. Well, now you can take it from here.

Sex Games: 12 Nights Of Passion

By

Sex games can be as easy or as complicated as you want them to be. There are those where you just whip out a sex game board and be done with it in a few minutes – nothing wrong with that! – but there are also those that take some time in its execution.

Your sex life should never be a routine. That’s why it’s important to engage in BOTH simple and more complex sex games. One benefit of the latter is that the longer you delay actual lovemaking, the hotter you guys are by that time!

This sex game is designed for super extended foreplay. The goal is to reach the 12th night without having intercourse, making the 12th night one of intense lovemaking. Here’s a sample outline you can use.

1. Romantic Dinner

Have a romantic dinner either at home or at a fancy restaurant. While dining, play footsie and/or indulge in a little bit of groping underneath the table.

2. Cuddling

Sprinkle red roses in bed, light some candles and play some soft music, and then just cuddle each other till you sleep.

3. Play Strip Poker

Play strip poker and once all your or your partner’s clothes are off, engage in a little dry rubbing, but that’s it! Don’t engage in having sex.

4. “Silent Dirty Words”

Play “silent dirty words.” Get a pen and blank sheet of paper each. Write a dirty word or phrase on the piece of paper, tear it off and hand it to your lover. Your lover reads it and then drops it in a bowl. Now it’s her turn to write another dirty word or phrase and hand it off to you. Do not talk in between this exercise.

Just write, show the words and that’s it. The ‘loser’ is the one who runs out of dirty words first. (You will notice that at the end of this exercise, you guys have just collected a bowl of dirty phrases you can use for a future game!) After the game has ended, laugh it off, have a bowl of ice cream or something and go to bed.

5. Play Naked Twister

Play sexy twister. Take out the twister mat or board and play a traditional game of Twister – naked.

6. Oral Sex

It’s the sixth day, give yourselves a little bit of reprieve by engaging in some hot oral sex. You can bring each other to a climax but do NOT engage in intercourse.

7. Leave Your Porn Out

“Accidentally” leave out some adult-rated reading material for your lover to see and glance over. Make sure the erotica is hot enough to really bring about lust in your partner. When she asks you about it, feign innocence!

8. Sexual Massage

Give each other a sexual massage. Be naughty and daring but do not engage in lovemaking. You can engage in oral pleasure but not to the point of bringing on a climax.

9. Have Phone Sex

Give your partner a call at an odd hour of the day, say 2 PM or whenever she least expects it, and engage in some phone sex. Don’t go too far; just get each other excited. After that, say you probably dialed the wrong number and hang up, or change your voice to ‘normal’ and simply say “love you honey, see you tonight for dinner” and then hang up.

10. Read Online Erotica Together

Go online together tonight and preview a few adult-rated literotica.

11. Sexting

Send naughty messages to your lover all throughout the day! Send a sex joke via SMS, email a long and dirty joke, and others. By the time you see each other tonight, pretend like nothing happened!

12. Make Amateur Porn

Shoot a short erotic video of yourself. Don’t go all the way. Instead, at the end of the video, look into the camera and tell your lover where you should meet tonight. It can be a hotel room, motel room or your own bedroom but fancily dressed up. The minute your lover enters the location you indicated on the video, do not engage in foreplay whatsoever! After all these days, your pent up feelings will be enough for one of the hottest moments of your life!

This sex game is designed to bring about so many things in your relationship. It’s a sex game of creativity and control. But its real goal is to make each day one of heightened sexual pleasure and longing for each other. Can you imagine how you guys will come together by the 12th night after all that waiting and sexual highs and lows?!? Give this extended sex game a try and be sure to do it more than once a year!