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You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

Male Sex Toys – 5 Things That AREN’T For Her!

By loveandsex

Male sex toys are becoming more and more popular as guys realize that they’re not only for women. Men can have just as much fun during masturbation as a woman can! Here are some must have male sex toys!

A Masturbation Sleeve

Every guy needs one of these! Forget masturbating with your hand – these soft jelly or skin-like sleeves are specifically designed to maximize a man’s pleasure during masturbation. Male sex toys just don’t get any better than this – there are hundreds of different materials, sizes and looks to choose from, so it’s not at all difficult to find one that you really enjoy. Men who use masturbation sleeves report better, deeper orgasms and more overall satisfaction.

Also, keep in mind that to use a masturbation sleeve, you need a bottle of lube hanging around. Most lube will work, but pay attention and don’t use silicone lubes with silicone sleeves, or oil based lubes with latex sleeves. A good, water based lubricant will work with any material.

A Cock Ring

Most guys don’t think about using a cock ring during masturbation, but it can make a world of difference! Cock rings aren’t just for guys who have erectile dysfunction and can’t keep it up, nor are they just for couples who like a vibrating bullet in between them. A soft jelly cock ring can just feel great during masturbation, while a stiffer one can prolong a man’s erection and make his orgasm absolutely incredible.

A Prostate Stimulator

You may have heard that the best male orgasm comes from massaging the prostate gland – however, many guys are still too shy to try anal stimulation. If you can get past the “ick” factor that many men have when thinking about playing with the anus during masturbation, you can have a lot of fun and even more pleasure.

A good drawer full of male sex toys isn’t complete without a prostate stimulator. If you’re new to it, or are still a little creeped out by it but want to achieve that amazing orgasm that everyone is always talking about, try starting with a smaller prostate stimulator. A tiny butt plug will get you used to anal play during masturbation, and as you get more and more into it, you can replace your beginner’s sex toys with more advanced ones.

A Penis Pump

Penis pumps are also not male sex toys that are confined to men that struggle with erectile dysfunction. Any man can enjoy a penis pump, especially if he wants to mimic the sucking feeling produced during oral sex or if he just wants a bigger, harder erection. Penis pumps are often inexpensive, and you can even get pumping models that have a soft jelly or skin-like “masturbation sleeve” attachment.

Be careful when using a penis pump, and never, ever use a vacuum cleaner instead of a pump made specifically for sex. If you pump too hard, you can cause bruising or pain and discomfort. Not worth it! But when used correctly before or during your masturbation session, you can experience more pleasure with a bigger, longer and harder penis.

A Masturbator Mount

If you really want masturbation to feel like a vagina, try purchasing a masturbator mount. Some mounts may only be compatible with some brands of masturbation sleeves, while other types of sleeves cannot be mounted at all. If you’re looking into a mount, make sure you choose one that is compatible with the masturbation sleeve that you already have or are willing to purchase a new one.

A masturbator mount will hold the masturbation sleeve for you, so you can enjoy it absolutely hands free. There are different styles of mounts depending on which sex position you enjoy most – and you can pick the one you like instead of trying to find one that you and someone else will enjoy!

You will love the hands free action that a mount can provide, because it makes it feel even more like sex. Even with a masturbation sleeve, there’s something about doing it with your hands that makes it feel not as good as the real thing (probably because it isn’t the real thing). However, with a mount, you can trick your brain into thinking you’re actually doing the dirty, especially if you close your eyes or have your favorite porn playing on the television in front of you. Just don’t forget to lock the doors!

Filed Under: Sex Toys Tagged With: male orgasm, masturbation, orgasm, sex tips, Sex Toys

Anal Fingering – 6 Techniques To Introduce Your Partner To Anal Play

By loveandsex

Anal fingering can be a great way to introduce new sensations in your sexual repertoire. The anus is packed with tons of pleasurable nerve endings – but many of them receive pain as well. Anal fingering can be extremely pleasurable or painful, if you don’t do it right. Never tried it before? Here’s how.

Use Plenty Of Lube

You may already know this, but there’s no mistaking the importance that a good amount of lube does for anal sex or any kind of anal play – including fingering. Don’t try to use spit, saliva or oil as a lube – it’s just not going to work. Instead, make sure you have a bottle of water based or silicone based lubricant on hand before you ever get started.

A scented lube can work really well for anal fingering, because not only do they work well, but they smell great too. Your lover may be apprehensive that they will smell bad if you’re that close to their nether region, but if they’re showered first and if you use a scented lube, it most likely won’t be an issue at all.

Never use a desensitizing lube when engaging in anal play. While it may seem beneficial to make sure your lover can’t feel it as much, that means you can do more damage than you intended to and not have any clue that you’re doing it! Your lover will wake up in the morning sore or bleeding, and won’t ever want to try it again!

Start With One Finger

This may seem like a no-brainer, but many people get so excited to try anal fingering with their lover that they try to use more than one finger to start off with. This won’t work very well and may cause  intense pain or discomfort. It’s important to start with one finger (your pinky finger if your hands are extremely large and your fingers are thick) until your lover gets used to the sensation. Once your lover seems to be enjoying it and is well lubed up, you can work on introducing more fingers, one at a time.

Give Them Oral Sex First – And During

For your lover to enjoy the sensations you’re giving during anal fingering, they have to be really, really turned on first. Even with plenty of lube, you’re still going to have a difficult time inserting your finger if their anal muscles are tight and not relaxed. So spend some time getting them turned on first, through foreplay and oral sex. Oral sex is an excellent precursor to anal fingering, simply because it is such an erotic activity.

Lube your finger up and slip it slowly into your lover’s anus while you’re performing oral sex on them. They will be more apt to enjoy the feeling than shy away from it, simply because what you were doing before already felt so good!

Wear Gloves

Consider donning a latex or vinyl glove before anal play. It may make you feel a little awkward, but your lover will appreciate it. You may think you have your nails trimmed and your cuticles cut, but if your hands are at all callused – as in, if you do any work for a living at all – your fingers are going to hurt your lover. Ladies, acrylic nails can hurt a man when you’re trying to massage his prostate gland!

Invest in a good box of gloves and keep them around for using during anal fingering. Your fingers will go in much more smoothly, especially with enough lube on hand. Also, it will protect you from getting bacteria and solid waste under your fingernails! Just be aware that petroleum jelly or oil based products will break down condoms and latex gloves!

Go Slow!

When you’re first fingering your lover, don’t be tempted to go too fast. It’s easy to go fast when you’re excited, but you can really hurt your lover this way. Instead, take your time and go slow. Build up their pleasure with oral sex while you massage their anus. Even if you can only slowly get your finger in and out once, you’re doing good for your first time.

You may not even get to have a really amazing session the first time you try anal fingering with your lover – the first time may actually be just “trying” it. Your lover isn’t sure what to expect and they don’t know what it’s going to feel like. The first time might simply be them getting accustomed to what it’s like. The next few times you’ll notice your lover getting more and more into it, as they get used to how it feels and they learn how to get pleasure out of it.

Use A “Come Hither” Motion

Anal fingering is much the same as vaginal fingering. You want to slowly insert the finger, palm side up. Once you get into position, slowly move your finger in a “come hither” motion, as though you would if you were trying to stimulate the g-spot. This is pleasurable for a woman, and even more so for a man, because it stimulates the prostate gland.

Many people make the mistake of thinking anal fingering is pushing the finger in and out of the anus. This is not going to be pleasurable at all! In fact, insertion and pushing past the tight sphincter muscles is actually the most painful part and only when it’s over can the recipient actually begin to experience pleasure. If you’re just pushing your finger in and out, you’re just repeating the worst part of anal fingering over and over again.

Instead, use the come-hither motion to gently massage all the nerve endings on the inside of the anus, and to put pressure on the pelvic floor. Combined with a glove, patience and plenty of lube, you can get your lover to really enjoy anal fingering!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, fingering, lube, sex tips

Relationship Advice: My Partner Isn’t Who I Thought They Were!

By loveandsex

A relationship is built on trust – what do you do when your significant other isn’t who you thought they were in the beginning? Can you save the relationship?

It can feel like total betrayal when you discover that your mate isn’t exactly who you thought they were. Maybe you’re horrified to discover that they’ve had a completely different romantic past than you thought. Maybe you’re just shocked to discover their religious or political beliefs aren’t what you thought they’d be. Regardless, you need to talk things through, unearth other possible secrets, and decide whether or not this is still the right person for you.

When They’re Not Who You Think

Few things are as jarring as discovering that your partner isn’t who you thought him or her to be. Sometimes it’s our own fault, of course. You immediately jump to great conclusions about someone because you want them to be golden thanks to how attracted you feel toward them. Then you get to know them a little better and find out they’re not as perfect as you’d imagined.

On the other hand, sometimes your mate is going to pretty great lengths to make sure that you don’t find out something unsavory about them. So what do you do when a secret about your S.O. comes to light? How can you decide whether or not you should stay together, and, if you want to stay together, how can you move past the bad news? A good long talk or two with your partner can help you begin to rebuild trust.

How Bad Is It Really?

The first thing to do once your mate’s negative secret has been revealed to you is to assess just how bad that secret is. If you find out that your boyfriend has another girlfriend, that’s grounds for immediate breakup. If you’re a bleeding-heart liberal and your new girlfriend casually announces that she’s a conservative Republican, you might be annoyed about it, but that’s not a reason to immediately give up on the relationship.

Decide Whether It’s A Relationship Dealbreaker

You basically have to decide whether the secret is just something unsavory about your S.O., or something that indicates they will not make a good mate. In other words, if your mate tells you before the first time you have sex that he or she got an STD from their ex, that’s a problem that should be worked out. If they tell you they got that STD when they were cheating on their ex with a hooker, or they wait and tell you after you’ve had unprotected sex, that’s grounds for dismissal.

People certainly make mistakes in their life, and we do change as we mature. Finding out that your partner was quite the playboy back in college might make your heart sink a little. If he’s shown in more recent years that he can be in serious relationships, it’s worth looking past his previous mistakes and giving him a chance (though you should certainly insist he gets tested for various STD’s).

People are also allowed their own quirks and opinions. Let’s take the case of our conservative girlfriend and her liberal boyfriend. While he might initially be bothered by the fact that she believes in different political practices than he does, they could ultimately find that their opposing opinions give them something truly interesting to debate about. Additionally, just because she’s a registered Republican doesn’t mean she might not agree with some of the policies that he believes in. Some people truly can’t respect other’s opinions or beliefs, but a lot of people can. How else do people who practice completely different faiths end up together?

Talking To Your Partner About It

Once you get over the initial shock of the big reveal, sit down and have a really detailed discussion with your partner about it. If they were holding out on you about something and you discovered it via another source, you have the right to be angry that they hid something from you. That’s true whether the secret is something you can get over or not.

You need to talk to them about how they’ve damaged your trust in them, and then try to figure out how to work together to rebuild that trust. Open up about any secrets you might be keeping, and get your S.O. to do the same. Make the point to them that hiding things makes them even worse. If your partner is genuinely apologetic about keeping secrets from you, then you will be able to work together to get back to trusting each other again.

Filed Under: Relationship Advice Tagged With: breaking up, cheating, fighting, Relationship Advice, STDs

Mutual Masturbation: How To Get Your Man To Try It

By loveandsex

Mutual masturbation can be super fun, but it can be difficult to get a guy into it. Of course, guys love watching a woman masturbate, but a surprising amount of guys are actually too shy to do the same in front of their girl. If you want to try mutual masturbation, here’s how you can get him interested.

Why Isn’t He Jumping At The Chance?

You’d think that the majority of guys would actually be jumping at the chance to not only watch their girl masturbate, but to masturbate with her. While some guys are confident enough to be able to do this, many of them aren’t. Why?

He’s Afraid Of You Seeing His Porn

A lot of guys are too shy to try mutual masturbation because they think they need porn to masturbate – and they’re afraid of you seeing it. Many men watch porn that they would never in a million years want their partners to see. Whether it’s fetish porn that he thinks his partner would be appalled by, or he just doesn’t want to hurt her feelings (because in most guys’ experiences, women are bothered by their men looking at porn). Either way, he may be too shy to try mutual masturbation simply because he doesn’t want to turn on his porn in front of you.

He’s Been Busted Too Many Times For Masturbation

Unfortunately, there are lots of women that think that if a guy is sexually satisfied in his relationship, that he won’t need to masturbate. This couldn’t be farther from the truth! It’s normal and healthy for a man to masturbate – and even watch porn – if he’s in a sexually satisfying relationship. In fact, it’s healthy for women too.

He may also feel shame over masturbation, especially if he grew up being taught that masturbation was wrong or sinful. Not that he doesn’t do it – he does. But he may do it quickly to “get it over with” and may not see it as something pleasurable or even enjoyable, just something that “has to be done.”

Make Him Feel Comfortable With It In General

If the idea of mutual masturbation seems to make him uncomfortable, it could be due to harbored feelings about masturbation. Encourage him to enjoy his self-love. Get him a masturbation sleeve as a gift, and make sure it’s in an easy to get to place with a bottle of lube. Leave him alone in the house for long enough periods of time that he can do it without fear of being interrupted. If you catch him, politely excuse yourself and allow him to continue if he wants.

Also, talk to him about it. Let him know that you do it, and don’t be afraid to let him catch you getting your self love on too. Don’t act ashamed about it and over time, he will learn not to be ashamed as well.

Try Watching Porn With Mutual Masturbation

While just watching you do yourself may be enough visual stimulation to get him off, watching a porn flick with him while you do might help him get even more into it. However, don’t suggest that he pick it out or that he use any of the videos or pictures that he does when he’s alone. Instead, choose a naughty film together. Select one neither of you have ever seen before, or select one and surprise him with it. Ask him if he’d like to watch it, or just put it on loud enough for him to hear it and see what happens!

Let Him Watch You First

Start by letting him watch you first, before you ask him to engage in mutual masturbation. Go slow at first, and give him time to ogle you and really get turned on. Let him watch you touch your clitoris, or use a sex toy on yourself to stimulate your g-spot. Show no inhibitions – spread your legs wide and let him see every bit of what you’re doing. Chances are, with a combination of sexy moves and confidence, he won’t be able to help but touch himself!

Give Him A Great Handjob And Encourage Him To Take Over

You can also nudge him towards mutual masturbation by giving him a great handjob. Make sure you have your sex toy nearby too, and settle in to give him a great handjob. Use lube and start slow, building speed until he’s incredibly turned on. When he’s closer to orgasm (but not too close), replace your hand with his and whisper to him that you’d like to see him do it himself. He’ll most likely happily oblige.

However, you can also get him close to orgasm and then stop, proceeding to touch yourself or use your sex toy. Chances are, he’s not going to be able to stop himself from masturbating while watching you!

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: female masturbation, fingering, handjob, masturbation, sex tips

Romance Tips: How To Set Up A Charming Picnic

By loveandsex

Romance can take many forms, but one of the most adored romantic gestures is a picnic between lovers. Here’s how to set one up for yours.

There is something to be said about leaving the city behind, getting away for a day, enjoying whatever beautiful views nature offers you, stuffing yourself silly and then lay back with a glass of wine or whatever liquid takes your fancy. When the sun is shining there’s only one thing to do – and that is, go on a picnic. Now these are not only good for the happily involved but they are essential when trying to win her back! Obviously the weather plays an important part but remember, you can do it both indoors and outdoors. All it takes is a little creative imagination.

What Food To Bring

Most importantly you must find a place that’s sheltered from the wind yet has a lovely view. Set the scene with candles or lanterns, and your loved one (yes her) will be eating out of the palm of your hand! For dinner include:

  • Fresh, organic vegetables such as baby carrots, cucumber fingers, baby sweet corn, broccoli, cherry tomatoes and serve with dips such as guacamole, hummus or chopped tomato in cottage cheese, suggests planning and preparation and you can grill the vegetables beforehand for something a little different.
  • Cold meats with cheeses such as Camembert and Brie also work well as snacks. The cheese can also be eaten with fruit or crackers.
  • It’s always a good idea to stick to finger foods for romantic picnics; this way you can feed each other.
  • For something more substantial, make a variety of wraps with cottage cheese and pineapple filling; and pita bread with stuffed with tuna salad, feta and avocado, or feta and carrot.
  • A bottle of wine or bubbly makes it a special occasion, but remember to first check whether alcohol is allowed at your spot of choice — and pack two of your prettiest glasses for the occasion.
  • Round off your rendezvous with some decadent dark chocolate-tipped strawberries.

Although it seems as though this is a daunting task, and it really doesn’t have to be. A little planning beforehand can make you look like a pro and what better way to impress her than if you can honestly tell her you prepared it yourself. Certain foods are easy and quick to prepare such as cheese and crackers, muffins, grapes, strawberries (these always score big points for the romantic), chips and dips etc., always work well.

Throw in a bottle of wine or some champagne or if going for something non-alcoholic – a chilled fresh fruit juice. When organizing your basket the utensils you bring with are very important.

Setting The Mood

Try to pick a day where the weather is just right for being outside. A sunny, breezy morning is great for brunch, while evening is full of romance and much better for drinking champagne – although you can always do mimosas in the morning! You want to make sure you have the right tools on hand for comfort:

  • A blanket, of course, is a must. If you really want to be nostalgic about it, find one in a classic red gingham print. A wooden basket is also a nice touch. Any soft blanket will do though.
  • Think about bringing supportive pillows. Inexpensive throw pillows that you keep just for the occasion can help your partner feel more comfortable during your excursion. They’re not large or heavy and are easy to take with you. This can also help create a feeling of romance if you are able to lean back some or lie down next to your partner – and they’re better for sex if you and your lover are in a secluded spot!
  • If there’s not a lot of wind, think about bringing candles. Jar candles are your best bet here, because they are shielded some from wind and external elements. While candles aren’t very practical if you’re having a morning or afternoon get together, they can be super romantic if you are having an evening get together.
  • Bug repellent is also a must. It’s not super sexy to spray you and your partner down with bug spray before eating (make sure you wash your hands first!) but it will keep the mosquitoes away. It’s hard to create romance when you’re doing nothing but scratching at bug bites! Instead of bug spray, consider using citronella candles or torches that cover a wider area, so your area will be romantically lit and bug free!

No matter what you choose to do for your get together, make sure that your partner feels appreciated and cherished. This is part of the romance – spending time away from the daily grind to eat, drink and reconnect. It’s a wonderful experience no matter how you decide to do it!

Filed Under: Love & Romance Tagged With: date ideas, love, romance, romantic ideas

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