Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

5 Easy Tantric Sex Moves To Try Tonight!

By

Tantric sex is a great way to connect emotionally and sexually to your partner. Instead of focusing on techniques to get to orgasm faster, Tantra focuses on the emotional and physical intimacy you share with someone during sex. It also teaches you to focus more on each individual sensation during sex rather than thinking of them as a means to an end. Here are five easy things to do now to have amazing orgasms with your lover.

Sanctify Your Space

If you read the morning newspaper in your bed, or you work from home in bed, eat in bed or do anything else besides sleep and have sex in your bed, then you need to start by sanctifying your space. You’re never going to feel sexual or connected to your partner in the same space that you change diapers in! Start making your bedroom a sex and sleeping only place, so when you walk into the room, you are already starting to get psychologically prepared for sex. You can also splurge on some new silky sheets and a few aromatherapy candles. Anything that you can do to appeal to your senses and get them involved will help you experience sex in a new way.

Dance With Your Partner

Remember that scene in the second Matrix movie where the entire city of Zion did a sweaty, tribal dance together to the sound of deep, resonating drum beats? There’s a reason that scene was so erotic. Bring that sense of eroticism and energy to the bedroom by scouring the Internet for some sexy tribal music and putting it on your iPod. You can also use anything with a slow, sexy beat to it as long as it makes you want to grind and dance with your lover. Turn the lights down low (you can use candles to enhance the mood) and turn music up loud. Let the beat flow through your body as you dance with your partner. You’ll begin to relax and find that your body is more open and sensitive to pleasure, as well as your to your lover. Let the dancing bring out your sensual, animalistic nature!

Practice Breathing Together

Breathing is an essential part of sex. It allows more oxygen into your body which enables blood to flow to and stimulate your genitals. Practice breathing in and out together with your partner before sex or during foreplay. For example, when you’re kissing your partner or cuddling with them before sex, synchronize your intake and outtake of breath with theirs. As you begin breathing together, you’re also going to do other things together, such as experience waves of pleasure and orgasm simultaneously. While you may not experience a simultaneous orgasm with your lover right away during Tantric sex, practicing breathing together and feeling each other will bring you that much closer.

Use The Sitting Up Sex Position

There are a variety of sex positions that you can use during Tantric sex, but the most popular one is the sitting position, where the woman sits on the man’s lap and inserts his penis into her vagina that way. This position allows for very little movement, but that is actually the point here! You’re not going to be able to do much more than rock back and forth on each other – sliding in and out just isn’t going to happen in this position. However, when you slowly rock and grind against each other, your pleasure will continue to build until the point where you think you can’t take it anymore. Stop, kiss your partner deeply and allow yourself to come down some from the brink of orgasm. Then, take your time building your pleasure up again. Combine this with simultaneous breathing and staring deep into your lover’s eyes and you’ll begin to experience pleasure in a whole new way.

Don’t Rush It

Again, the point of Tantric sex is not to rush into orgasm. This is going to be a long, drawn out process (and that is not a bad thing at all) so you want to make a point to do it when you have a good, solid chunk of time where you’re not going to be interrupted. Whether you start with oral sex and then move into breathing and rocking or a combination of several different maneuvers, you don’t want to rush a single minute of it. Focus on each individual wave of pleasure and encourage your partner to do the same. After some practice, you and your partner may even be able to feel each other’s pleasure and it will begin to heighten your own pleasure!

6 Ways To Make Anal Sex Better For Her

By

Anal sex is something women do to make their men happy, right? They don’t actually enjoy it, right? Wrong! Lots of women really enjoy anal play. The anus is actually extremely sensitive and when stimulated the right way, can lead to intense and explosive orgasms! Many women enjoy anal play during sex and oral sex, and lots of girls like straight up anal sex and double penetration. However, there’s a lot of guys who don’t know how to make it safe and comfortable for a woman, so she can’t really enjoy it. If a guy doesn’t warm her up enough or use enough lube when engaging in anal play, it’s not going to be fun at all for her – in fact, it will actually be incredibly painful! Here’s how you can make anal sex something she loves.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgAOYuBSH4M&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Use Enough Lube

The main reason that women don’t enjoy anal sex is that it can hurt and it can hurt bad if it’s not done correctly! One thing that can contribute to pain during anal sex is not having enough lube. Lube is very important during this activity because the anus does not lubricate itself the way a vagina does. Without external lubrication, the anus can become very dry and the delicate tissues can tear and bleed. Don’t be afraid to dump a whole bottle of lube on her butt if you have to – when it comes to this activity, you really can’t use enough lube.

The best lube for anal sex is a water based lube – a silicone lube is thick and can last longer (which is important for prolonged moisture) but it is not as easy to rinse off as water based lube. Search for a good, gentle water based lube that is made in a thicker formula. Never use a desensitizing lube for anal sex! While this may make her more “comfortable” in the beginning, she won’t be aware if the pain becomes too much. This can definitely lead to tears in the anus or bowel that require immediate medical attention. Good water based lube (and plenty of it) is all you need!

Use Small Toys First

Most guys get really excited at the prospect of trying anal sex with their partners and are eager to put their penises in right away. However, unless you’re a really small guy, you may be too big for her if she hasn’t tried anything else. Even with lube, if she’s not accommodated to taking something as large as your penis into her anus, you’re going to have to start smaller and work your way up.

Fingering the anus is a good starting point, since you can use one finger and gradually increase to two or even three fingers once she becomes more comfortable with it. You can also purchase small butt plugs that can be used to get her used to anal stimulation during sex. Even if you’re chomping at the bit to get it on with her backdoor, she’s going to like it a lot better if you don’t bombard her with something huge at first. She’ll also be more receptive to have anal sex more often if it doesn’t hurt!

Give Her Encouragement

Women love to know that they’re giving their men pleasure – and they want to hear about it first hand. While she’s having anal sex with you, don’t be too shy to let her know how much you enjoy it. Let it all out – moan, grunt and gasp so she knows that your pleasure is genuine! You can also give her a few words of encouragement as you’re warming her up with a sex toy or your fingers. Let her know how hot her butt is and how naughty and sexy she is for doing this with you. She’ll love hearing how much you’re enjoying it!

Don’t Act Like Poop Is A Big Deal

A huge reason that women don’t enjoy having anal sex with their partners is that they’re afraid or embarrassed to make a mess. This may keep her from ever having anal sex with you at all – she could be extremely apprehensive about fecal matter coming out during sex and she may think you’ll laugh at her or criticize her for it. Let her know up front that you know it might get dirty – and that it doesn’t bother you in the least. And if it happens – don’t freak out. Have a warm, wet washcloth nearby for clean up and take care of it as soon as you notice. If you can, don’t even mention it to her.

You can also ease her fears about making a mess during anal sex by encouraging her to have a bowel movement first or to do an enema first. Some women even find the enema process pleasurable, and it keeps things clean during sex later.

Make Sure She’s Aroused First

If she’s not aroused, she’s not going to enjoy anal sex, period. Her anus will be tight and puckered, and it won’t relax enough to allow you to put anything in, including your penis. So before you plan on heading to her backyard, play in the front a little first. Give her oral sex and get her really, really turned on. Lick her clitoris and get her to where she’s begging you to finish her off. Then, proceed to warm her up anally and don’t neglect her clitoris when you get started. With a combination of clitoral, anal and even vaginal or g-spot stimulation, you may end up giving her the best orgasm of her life!

Take Care Of Her Afterwards

When you’re finished, don’t just roll over and go to sleep, even if you’re tempted to. Instead, make an attempt to have a conversation with her. Help her get cleaned up, or join her in the shower if that’s what she wants to do afterwards. Let her know how much you enjoyed it and how glad you are that she did it. Let her know that you care about her and show her that you don’t think any less of her. Give her a sensual massage or make her a cup of hot tea to help her relax. Show her that she’s important to you and fulfill her emotionally as well. If you make her feel good emotionally after having anal sex, she’ll definitely want to have it again!

Foolproof Ways To Get His Or Her Number

By

Dating isn’t something you can even think about until you get a phone number. When you meet someone new that sparks your interest, it can be pretty thrilling. In the midst of your flirty conversation, it can be easy to get swept up in the excitement of meeting someone new. All that happiness will mean nothing, however, if you don’t get their contact information.

Though it can feel awkward outright requesting someone’s phone number, you’ll have to find a way to ask for it before your initial meeting is over. A little tact and flirting can go a long way in helping you get that all-important information.

How To Get Their Contact Information

Say you’re out at a party making conversation with a guy or girl who has managed to get your attention. The night is winding down, and you know that you want to see this intriguing individual again. What’s the best way to get their contact information? There are a few different approaches. Simple honesty may be the best. As it’s time to say goodbye, matter-of-factly state that you’re so glad you met, you had a wonderful time talking during the party, and you’d like to see him/her again.

Then ask for a phone number or, at the very least, their email. You can always email them for their number later. If you’re not up to explaining your motives so plainly, mention an upcoming party or group event you’d like to invite them to, and request their number or email so you can send them more information about it. Of course, you’ll have to actually bring them to the event you reference, but that doesn’t mean you can’t call and ask them on a date before then.

Use Social Networking To Your Advantage

If asking for a phone number or email address makes you too nervous, or if you forget to ask while you’re at the party, social networking can save you. It’s not exactly the most impressive way to contact someone, but if you can find them on Facebook or Myspace, you can friend them. Then you can ask for their number in a message. Make a witty remark when you send that message, mentioning that you meant to ask for their number that night, but were so caught up in your great conversation that you forgot to.

A little flattery will get you somewhere, and jokingly acknowledging that you should’ve asked in person helps, too. Another option that will keep you from having to ask is even simpler. While at the party, offer your own number. If you hand over your phone number, the person you’re speaking with is likely to offer you theirs in return, no asking required.

What Not To Do

All of these methods are good, but what should you avoid doing when attempting to get a phone number? Cheesy pick up lines only work if you’re joking, and he or she knows it. Unless you know you’re being so obviously funny that you won’t offend, sleazy lines will ensure you strike out.

Never just walk up to a person, tell them you think they’re cute, and ask for their digits. Have an actual conversation first, and you’re more likely to be taken seriously when the time comes to get his/her number. Most importantly, don’t let on that you’re nervous. This isn’t a wedding proposal—you’re just asking for a phone number! Keep that in mind, remain calm and confident, and you’ll be calling each other in no time.

The Blowjob Move You’ve NEVER Heard Of

By

Oral sex for men is something they really, really like – but it can also get boring . Think about it – you suck on his penis for awhile and he gets off. That’s it. You can change up your technique, but even after that, it’s pretty much the same each time. You really have to be on top of your game to keep him surprised each time you go down on him.

However, you can use this simple but never before heard of maneuver to send your guy to cloud nine. Next time you give your man head, think about doing something totally off the wall that he’ll never expect – but he’ll LOVE. Surprise your man by changing it up with this maneuver you NEVER knew about.

Start By Giving Normal Head

You’re going to start this oral sex technique by just going down on your guy like you normally would to get him warmed up. He’ll think you’re just giving him head like normal and won’t expect anything different than what you usually do. Besides, you want him to be kind of into it before you really surprise him, but honestly, what man isn’t into it from the get go?

Suck and lick his penis until he’s completely erect and is just starting to really enjoy what you’re doing. While any sex position will work for this super sultry technique, the better ones are with your partner either standing or sitting to receive his blowjob. This will give you more access and make it easier for you to effectively do the special technique.

Switch To Giving Him A Handjob

Once he’s in full enjoyment of the foreplay, switch to giving him a handjob. His penis should be plenty wet from your saliva, but you can also use flavored lube if you really want to get wet and wild. Please him with your hand for a few seconds while he wonders just what exactly you’re planning on doing next! Once you’re fairly sure he’s about to ask you what in the heck you’re doing, you can go on to the next phase of this titillating maneuver.

Then Lick His Balls

When you switched to giving your man a handjob, you probably wondered what the heck you were going to do with your mouth since this an oral sex technique and all. Take your mouth and snuggle right up to his scrotum. Lick the seam of his testicles with your tongue, and use your mouth to suck each of his balls in and out. This is a no holds barred maneuver, so don’t be afraid to get really chummy with his sack and make him think you’re French kissing it.

Do Both At The Same Time

The true trick here is to keep the handjob you’re giving to your man going as you lick and suck his scrotum and testicles. Most women handle their man’s testicles with their hands while giving them a blowjob, but you’re doing the exact opposite. He’s probably never had this done before, so it is sure to send your guy into absolute shock – he really won’t know what to do with himself!

If you’ve got a guy who also enjoys anal sex (and if you’ve got an extra hand), lube up your finger and massage his prostate too. The combination of different sensations are what will send him over the edge and into an earth shattering orgasm!

Things To Keep In Mind

Since you’re going to be up close and personal to your man’s scrotum, you’re definitely going to want to do this oral sex maneuver after he’s had a nice, long shower and has scrubbed his package very well. Make it extra special (and keep what you’re going to do a surprise) by hopping in the shower with him and scrubbing him up yourself! Why not start teasing him before you’re even ready to give him head? By the time you actually do get started giving him a blowjob, he’s going to be ready to bust!

Consider asking your man to shave his testicles if the idea of licking his balls when they’re hairy grosses you out. Let him know you have a sexual surprise for him, but you’d really like him to be soft and smooth first. Knowing that you’ve got something sexy up your sleeve will probably be enough to get any man to shave his nuts, even if he’s apprehensive about doing it. After you show him what you’ve got planned, he may just keep his testicles shaved!

How To Use A Masturbation Sleeve On Him

By

Sex toys can spice up your sex life, but most of the time, people assume you’re referring to vibrators for women. In fact, the far majority of people believe that sex toys are just for women! The reality is that there are a lot of sex toys out there for guys, from cock rings to anal toys to masturbation sleeves. And not all of this is just for solo play – here’s how to use a masturbator on HIM!

Masturbation Sleeves Aren’t Just For Him

While the name “masturbation sleeve” gives people the idea that the product can only be used during masturbation, the truth is that a masturbation sleeve can actually be used during a handjob as well! If your partner has been apprehensive to the idea of bringing in a sleeve, trying it on him first during a handjob can warm him up to the idea. He may very well be surprised at just how good it feels! Instead of lubing up your hands next time for a handjob, slip on a masturbation sleeve instead and let the fun begin!

How It’s Better For You

Let’s face it – giving a handjob can be tiring. Especially if your man isn’t super sensitive. If you’re really trying to bring him to orgasm through a handjob, you could be there for thirty minutes or more pumping away. Plus, there are lots of different handjob techniques you need to learn if you really want to get good at it. Or, you can just bring in a masturbation sleeve!

  • Using sex toys on him during a handjob makes it much, much easier for you. You’ll notice that you don’t get tired as easily or that your hands and arms don’t cramp up as quickly.
  • No technique is really required when giving a handjob with a masturbation sleeve. The texture of the sleeve does it all for you.
  • Since the sensations are much, much more powerful, your man will reach orgasm much faster than if you were just using your hands.
  • It’s a great alternative to having sex if you really just don’t feel like putting out!

How It’s Better For Him

Using a masturbation sleeve on him during a handjob isn’t just easier for you, it feels better for him too! There are many benefits for him when using sex toys during a handjob instead of just your hands.

  • The soft material feels way better than your hands, especially when used with enough lube.
  • Many sleeves are textured inside to provide different sensations during use.
  • This is a good toy to use if you’re a novice, or haven’t had that much practice giving a handjob. A handjob can take forever if you’re not skilled at it, so save yourself the trouble (and make it feel better for him) by using a sleeve.
  • It’s great for him because using sex toys during a handjob will make it so much easier for you, you’re going to be willing to give him handjobs more often!

Advanced Techniques

There is so much fun to be had for both partners when using sex toys with each other. Even if it’s not a couples sex toy, such as in the case of the masturbation sleeve, you can still have a lot of fun using it on your partner and watching wave after wave of pleasure wash over them.

  • Try using it in the shower with a really thick, silicone based lube. Just make sure your toy isn’t silicone!
  • Try mutual masturbation on each other. Use the masturbation sleeve on him and let him use other sex toys, such as vibrators, on you!
  • You can also masturbate yourselves with these sex toys while watching each other. This is a great way to learn how your partner likes to be touched!

Recommendations

There are lots of different male masturbators out there on the market, and it can be confusing to find the right one. Pretty much, any masturbation sleeve is going to feel great for him, but there are some products out there that are going to give you better results.

Super Head Honcho Masturbator

Adam & Eve’s top selling masturbator. Has a wide mouth for insertion and lots of little nubs on the inside for extra pleasure. What makes this sleeve so great is that it’s super easy to clean – just flip it inside out and wash with warm soapy water or toy cleaner.

Climax Gems Crystal Handjob Stroker

Made from crystal clear Cyberskin, this masturbation sleeve will feel fantastic for him. One side is ribbed, while the other is studded, so you can flip it around for tons of different sensations. This one is also super easy to clean – which frankly, is a must for male masturbators!

Adam And Eve Pleasure Pearl Masturbator

This one has pleasure pearls deep inside that move around as you stroke this up and down the penis towards orgasm, but that’s not what makes this sex toy so unique. It is one of the only masturbation sleeves that include loops on the outside, which are slipped over the fingers and used as a handle! Guys who use masturbation sleeves know that things can get slippery sometimes!

Things To Keep In Mind

Keep in mind to use lots of good lube when using a masturbation sleeve on your partner. Check out what your sex toy is made from – silicone toys cannot be used with silicone lube. Water based lube is pretty much a safe bet for anything, so make sure to stock up before you get started. Male masturbators really can’t be used without lube!

Also, keep in mind that you will need to clean the sleeve properly after each and every use. Think about it – those things can get pretty nasty if you use them more than once without cleaning them in between uses! Most sleeves are easy to clean because you can flip them inside out, but if you choose other products such as a Fleshlight, you’re in for a little more cleanup. No matter which sex toys you choose though, the cleanup is well worth it!