Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

How To Give Her An Emotionally Supercharged Orgasm

By

An orgasm can be absolutely amazing or it can be a huge letdown – and it can also be anywhere in between, from mediocre to almost great. For women, an orgasm becomes incredible when she feels strong emotions during sex and climax – even more so than using the best techniques. For a woman, the ultimate orgasm comes from feeling amazing both physically and emotionally. Here’s how you can give your lover a wall-shaking orgasm, leaving your lover completely blissed out and feeling great inside and out.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glvwphbx5Ow[/youtube]

Feeling Strong Emotions During Sex Can Make It More Intense

Of course, women respond much better than men to emotional stimuli, but experiencing strong feelings during sex can make it great for both you and your partner.

Why It’s Great For Her

Women are emotional creatures, to put it simply. They attach emotion to everything, whether positive or negative. When they remember things, they remember more about how they felt about what happened rather than remembering exactly what happened in a play-by-play. Women will also react differently to things based on how they feel – whether they’re happy, angry, upset, sad or frustrated.

Use this to your advantage by manipulating your lover’s emotions during sex and getting your woman to experience everything you’re doing while she’s feeling loved, cherished and emotionally close to you.

Why It’s Great For You

While guys get a bad rap for only caring about the physical aspect of sex, experiencing strong feelings during sex can make it better for a man too. Since guys can pretty much tune into sex and oral sex at the drop of a hat, it’s easier to play into a man’s emotions during sex than any other time because his guard is down.

For a man, feeling emotionally close to their partner during sex can give them the confidence they need to really let go and get into it, as well as have an incentive to give their partners pleasure. A man that doesn’t feel emotionally close to his partner during sex isn’t going to care as much about making your girl feel good too – and she won’t return the favor. A woman who feels safe and loved during sex is going to want to give her partner a blowjob or do other things to make him feel extra special physically.

How To Use “I Love You” To Make Her Orgasm Amazing

A woman wants to feel loved and cherished by her man – period. She wants to feel safe with him and that he cares very much about what she thinks and how she’s feeling. You can make your lover feel this way during sex – right before orgasm – by asking your partner to say “I love you” right before she’s about to climax. Then, have your partner say it over and over again until she’s lost herself in the throes of a sheet soaking orgasm.

If the phrase “I love you” doesn’t work for your girl, you can also ask her to use other phrases such as “I want you” or “I need you” over and over again as she’s reaching climax.

Make Her Feel Blissed Out Afterwards

This is really a two part sex technique, because you’re not going to stop after just getting your woman to say “I love you” (or whatever other phrase you have chosen) while she’s having an orgasm. You’re also going to follow up with a super sweet, soft kiss after she’s finished, and you’re going to tell your partner that you love her while looking deeply into your lover’s eyes. Bonus points if you cuddle with your lover for a few minutes afterward.

To break it down, what you’ve done when asking your partner to tell you that she loves you over and over while she’s having an orgasm, you have made your lover realize how much she really does love you at the moment that she’s experiencing a physical release. This will make your girl feel more emotionally close to you than she ever has before.

When you follow it up with a sweet, soft kiss and an “I love you” of your own, you’re making your partner feel loved and safe – all while she’s experiencing all of these other positive, wonderful emotions and at the same time, while she’s feeling all of the amazing physical sensations of orgasm.

This is an incredibly powerful way to bond with your partner both sexually and emotionally. When done correctly, this technique will make you and your partner feel closer than ever.

Using This Technique During Oral Sex

You can also use this technique during cunnilingus to make your woman feel even more special – since you’re only giving her physical pleasure and getting none yourself.

What makes using this technique during oral sex so powerful is because you’re focused completely on your partner and her pleasure. Then, after she’s had an orgasm, you’re going to do the same thing – give your lover a soft, sweet kiss and tell her you love her while looking deeply into her eyes. She will feel absolutely incredible and so in-tune with you that she’ll want to immediately return the favor.

Sexting: “Power Words” – Turn Your Girl On At The Push Of Button

By

Sexting is such a great way arouse a woman (without even touching her), but many guys fail to use the right language when sexting and it ends up not working at all. The most important part of sexting is to use the kind of language that instantly gets your partner thinking about sex – and gets your lover’s imagination working at the same time. Check out these phrases you can use while sexting to instantly get your sweetie’s mind in the gutter.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvAEuS0G8cQ[/youtube]

Sexting Successfully Is All About Picking The Right Words

While you do get some points for making the effort to use your cell phone to communicate with your partner sexually, sexting is not going to work well (or at all) if you’re not picking the right words and using the right language. For example, lame (but somehow popular) phrases might sound something like:

  • “You are so sexy…”
  • “I like your tits…”
  • “You are hot…”

As you can see, this language is completely uninspired and thoroughly “blah.”  These phrases will do nothing to turn a woman on, simply because the words that are being used are doing nothing to spark your woman’s imagination and get the brain thinking about having sex.

This is where understanding the primary difference between they way men and women think about sex comes in. A man’s sex drive is often ignited by anything visual, such as porn, a naughty pic or even just a woman in a bikini. On the other hand, however, a woman’s sex drive is ignited by the exact opposite – a woman will get more turned on by reading or imagining something than just looking at it.

Instead of using lame phrases, strive to create sensual language when sexting your lover. Fore example, think of ways you can change an ordinary text into something incredible:

Instead of saying “I want to have sex with you tonight,” try saying “I’m going to make love to you tonight…make your whole body shudder…make you feel that warm, wonderful pleasure pulsing through your limbs, building and building until you explode in an orgasm.”

Using Primal, Sensual Language

A woman isn’t going to be turned on by hearing the words “tits,” or “sexy,” or “hot.” These just aren’t going to do it. The word “tits” does absolutely nothing to spark a woman’s imagination. On the other hand, however, using the word “thrust” is more likely to send your partner into a memory of the last time you two had particularly amazing sex – and she’s going to replay your thrusting in her mind over and over again – all because you used one simple word.

Another example of using primal language might be to use the word “lick” or “suck.” Instead of sexting your woman and saying “I want to go down on you,” you might want to say something like, “I can’t wait to get home and put my hot tongue on your clitoris. I’m going to lick you up and down until you squirt.” By using such sexy, descriptive language, you’re going to get your girl to immediately start imagining you performing oral sex.

Stimulate The “Sex” Area Of Your Lover’s Brain

So you know that using details and language that really play into the sexual part of a woman’s mind is the key to sexting. But what exactly are the phrases that when put into any text will instantly get your lover’s mind working? Next time you send your lover a racy text, try using some of these words when describing what you want to do – and what you want your woman to do to you.

  • Thrust
  • Scratch
  • Hips
  • Hair
  • Eyes
  • Throat
  • Nipple
  • Shudder
  • Shock
  • Force
  • Grab
  • Giggle
  • Slap
  • Spank

Other excellent words to use when sexting your partner are sexy verbs that are similar to those used in romance novels and erotic literature. For example, try using words like:

  • Lick
  • Suck
  • Tickle
  • Touch
  • Slide
  • Soft
  • Hot
  • Sweaty
  • Throbbing
  • Shaking
  • Wet
  • Dripping
  • Sticky
  • Taste
  • Feel
  • Hard

In addition to using the right words when sexting your lover, you also want to avoid using the wrong words. There are some words that even erotic novel authors use that aren’t going to arouse your woman – they’re going to make your lover laugh. Words that will make you sound ridiculous might be:

  • Manmeat
  • Man sausage
  • Love button
  • Sex hole
  • Globes
  • Love stick
  • Muffin

Remember that sexting should be fun and have a good time describing to your lover everything you want to do. She’ll imagine it all day long and when you actually get together, the fireworks will explode.

Why Women Do (Or Don’t) Watch Porn

By

Porn isn’t just for guys – ladies enjoy it too! A lot of girls really enjoy watching porn, either with their partners as a form of foreplay or without their partners to arouse them before and during masturbation. However, there are many ladies that just can’t stand the idea of adult movies. Here’s the downlow on why girls do (or don’t) like naughty flicks.

Why Women Want To Watch Porn

There are many reasons a woman might want to enjoy porn, although it’s not exactly the majority of a woman’s preferred way to get turned on or masturbate. However, if a girl is eyeballing a dirty flick, she might be doing it to:

Masturbate

Believe it or not, guys aren’t the only ones who want to check out a skin flick before or during masturbation. While many girls prefer reading erotic novels, some of them do, in fact, enjoy visual stimulation before “clicking their own mouse.”

Get Turned On Before Sex

Some girls have a difficult time becoming really aroused before having sex with their lovers. A woman may look at porn either with or without her partner before sex to give herself time to get warmed up before getting busy. If watched with your partner before getting it on, porn can become an integral part of foreplay.

Get Sex Advice

While porn probably isn’t the best place to get sex advice and “how to” tips from, many ladies look at it for that very reason nonetheless. You can learn many things from an adult movie, from how to give a blowjob (porn style, of course) and different sex positions that you and your lover might be interested in trying. If you’re watching porn to understand sex better, however, remember that it is a movie and it is acting. You’d be better off snagging a video that is specifically made to teach sex techniques.

Just See What It’s All About

A lot of girls are curious just to see what the big fuss is all about. Pretty much every guy watches porn  (and they even make a big deal out of having it and hiding it), so a girl may check out a naughty flick just to see what’s up.

Indulge In Taboo Fantasies

Everyone has different sex fantasies, and some ladies may have a sex fantasy that is a little more taboo than what she or her partner is willing to actually do. Porn can be a great way to indulge in taboo or secret sex fantasies that you aren’t ready to try yet. Fetish videos are popular ways to indulge in a fetish that you want to keep hidden, like a diaper fetish or other uncommon fetishes. Skin flicks are also a great way to experience a sex fantasy for the first time without jumping right in with both feet.

See What Her Man Is Watching Behind Her Back

Girls will often catch their guy watching or looking at porn, or they may stumble across it unexpectedly while their partner is at work. She may throw it away or delete it, but chances are, she’s going to take a look at it first. Why? She wants to see exactly what is getting her lover off behind her back.

Why Women Don’t Want To Watch Porn

The far majority of girls actually choose not to look at adult movies, but probably not for reasons you might think. If a woman absolutely hates naughty films or would rather read an erotic novel than check out a skin flick, here’s why:

The Male Actors Aren’t Physically Attractive

A big penis isn’t all that a woman is interested in. Most adult movie actors are chosen for their penis size, not for their facial features or even the attractiveness of the rest of her body. While physical looks aren’t always what attract a woman to a guy, eye candy is important when you’re watching a skin flick. However, the porn industry mostly caters to guys in this respect, because many of the females featured in adult films are good looking with hot bodies. Not so much with the guys in nudie films.

They Deem It Disrespectful

The far majority of girls that choose not to look at porn do so because they feel like it’s disrespectful towards the female gender. Many adult movies do feature girls in compromising sex positions and doing compromising things, but not all of them. Some adult films – especially the less “hardcore” ones – will actually convey a woman in a very positive way.

The Plot…Wait, What Plot?

For a woman to become turned on, she usually has to be engaged mentally as well as physically. This is often the problem with adult movies, because while many adult film producers struggle to give a film at least some kind of plot, they generally don’t do a good job of it. Pizza delivery boy or dishwasher repairman sex? Most girls aren’t going to find that attractive, let alone believable.

It Just Doesn’t Do It For Her

Since females generally need mental stimulation to get turned on, the visual stimulation offered in skin flicks may just not do it for a girl. Why would she want to check out a sub-par porn when she can read an erotic novel and let her imagination take off – turning her on much, much more than a simple movie ever could.

She’s Insecure About Her Body

Ladies that don’t have high self esteem or are insecure about their bodies may not want to watch adult films and they may even get upset when their partner watches it. Adult movie actresses are often very glamorized in skin flicks, with the right lighting, lingerie and makeup to make them look their best. Porn actresses will often have had plastic surgery of some kind, especially breast augmentation or liposuction or tummy tucks. This can be very intimidating for a real woman to watch, even if she looks gorgeous.

She Has An Ample Supply Of Erotic Novels

Most girls just aren’t going to get off by watching a nudie film. It’s as simple as that. A woman that has an ample supply of erotic novels is probably not going to need to look at a skin flick at all.

How Many Dates Should You Wait Before Going All The Way?

By

When you have sex with someone for the first time, it can be a wonderful new experience. It can also be a bit of a disaster, especially if you rush into things without thinking. Sometimes it can be hard to decide when the timing is right to become physically intimate.

In addition to the pressure you feel from within yourself, you may also be feeling pressure from your new love interest, along with the pressures of societal norms. So how can you tell when to make that next move? A little introspection, a discussion or two with your partner, and the ability to go with your gut can all help.

When Is The Right Time To Have Sex?

There is a lot of conventional wisdom out there about when to have sex. Some people think you should hold off until marriage, and others think you should just hold off until the third date. Tempting as it can be to take an established rule as your own, the truth is that you’ll only really be happy if you go for it when you feel that you’re ready.

That means that you need to do some serious thinking. Review your past sexual experiences. Do you feel that you’ve jumped into having sex too quickly before, to the detriment of your past relationships? Or has your experience shown you that there’s no need to put things off? Of course, if you have no past experience because this is your first time ever, you’ll have to turn to other methods of determining your readiness.

Deciding What Is Right For YOU

Whether you’re experienced or not, you’re going to want to further check in with yourself. As far as introspection goes, you should do a little pros and cons analysis. What are all of the good things that you’ll get from sleeping together at this particular point in time, and what are the possible negative consequences? If the negatives outweigh the positives, you should probably hold off a bit longer.

You also need to acknowledge that, once you’ve finally had sex, it may not be as spectacular as you’d hoped it would be. If it goes poorly, that could be the end of things. If you’re not ready to run that risk, you may not be ready for sex with this person, either. Some people are into casual sex, and others feel they need to be in love before they can engage in it.

It’s important for you to truthfully acknowledge which side of the line you fall on. Trying to go against your true feelings is a mistake, particularly if you’re someone that needs to be in love. You may feel regret after the fact, which will sully the experience for you.

How Does Your Partner Feel About When To Have Sex?

Once you’ve established how you feel about it and decide that you’re ready, you need to have that conversation with your S.O. Tell them you’re hoping to take things to the next level, but want to know how they feel about it. Plus, as non-romantic as it may be, you should discuss birth control and STD prevention with them.

If one of you isn’t prepared to take the appropriate measures, that person also isn’t ready to be having sex. Once the two of you are on common ground, let things happen as they may. When the mood is right, you’ll both know it. Don’t let yourself worry about what anyone other than you and your partner think, whether you sleep together on your first date or your wedding night. Clear up all of your worries in advance, and you’ll have that much more energy to focus on enjoying your first time.

BDSM – What Is Erotic Humiliation?

By

“BDSM” stands for “bondage, domination, sadism and masochism.” However, this is just a blanket term for many different styles of kinky sex, including fetishes and roleplay, as well as less common activities such as erotic asphyxiation or erotic humilation.

While erotic humiliation isn’t generally as dangerous as activities like erotic asphyxiation, it can be just as fascinating to see exactly what gets different people off. What is erotic humiliation, what does it involve and how would you introduce it or an alternative in the bedroom?

What Is Erotic Humilation?

Erotic humilation is a form of BDSM defined by Wikipedia as the “consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context, whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity.”

Depending on whether someone has a dominant or submissive personality, the act of being humiliated or humiliating another during sex can be very arousing for both partners. Rarely does a person enjoy both humiliating and being humiliated and many sexual partnerships are formed because one partner prefers domination while the other prefers submission.

The Difference Between Humiliation And Domination

Many people may confuse erotic humiliation with domination and other forms of BDSM, because the roles are very similar. There is, however, a simple distinction between the two. Those who enjoy dominating others enjoy “commanding” or “ordering” their submissive partner do do something, and the submissive partner enjoys being “commanded” to do something. With humiliation, the dominant partner enjoys verbally or physically belittling their partner, and the submissive partner enjoys being belittled and humiliated just as much.

Verbal Means Of Erotic Humiliation

Depending on the agreement between the dominant and submissive partners, verbal belittlement may or may not be an accepted part of humiliation. However, it is much more common to see verbal belittlement in a humiliation situation than a great deal of physical humiliation. Verbal belittlement during sex might include:

  • Being a human “pet,” complete with collar and leash. This may include eating or drinking out of a pet bowl or off the floor.
  • Name calling such as “slave” or “whore”
  • Belittling the body, suggesting that it is “dirty” or “ugly”
  • Men who enjoy being humiliated may enjoy their partners belittling their penis size
  • Asking for permission to eat or use the restroom
  • Being verbally mocked or ridiculed

Physical Means Of Erotic Humiliation

When couples desire more than verbal belittlement offers, they may decide to move into more physical means of humiliation. This can be something as mild as spanking or can be very extreme. When combined with sexual activities and verbal belittlement, the humiliation factor can be very powerful. Many dom/sub couples may choose to forgo the physical aspect, or they may participate with a lighter attitude. Physical humiliation might include activities like:

  • Being slapped on the rear or in the face
  • Having the hair pulled
  • Ejaculating in the face or on the body
  • Being required to perform oral sex on the dominant partner without getting anything in return
  • Being forced to worship the body of the dominant partner
  • Physical punishment such as spanking or whipping when the submissive partner is “disobedient”
  • Torture of the nipples or the genitals

How To Approach Erotic Humilation In Your Relationship

If you’re interested in erotic humilation, you may be unsure of how to approach the subject with your partner. Remember that while being open and honest about your sex fantasies is extremely important, going slow and giving your partner time to warm up to the idea is even more so.

The first step is to determine which of you has a dominant personality and which of you has a submissive one. If you and your lover are both dominant or both submissive, erotic humiliation is generally something that won’t work well in your sexual relationship. Ease into it slowly, by introducing one new concept at a time and only when your partner seems ready for it.

If You’re A Sub

  • Offer to be you lover’s sex slave for the day and see what happens
  • Tell your partner you’d love to be spanked during sex
  • Come to bed wearing a collar
  • Experiment with handcuffs and bondage
  • Ask him to call you his “slut” or his “whore”

If You’re A Dom

  • Pinch your partner’s nipples during sex (not too hard without the green light first)
  • Ask your partner if they’ll be your sex slave for the day
  • Go shopping with your partner for sexy accessories, like collars or tiaras
  • Ask your partner to give you a blowjob or go down on you without reciprocation
  • Ask your partner to let you ejaculate on their face

Special Note: Never be derogatory or dominant towards your partner without their knowing and consent first. Not letting your lover in on what’s going on before verbally belittling them or physically humiliating them will only end very, very badly.

Pubic Humiliation

Another aspect of erotic humiliation which may be arousing to both partners is public humiliation. Sometimes, consenting partners will use verbal belittlement in public and very rarely will they humiliate physically in public. However, some couples may be part of groups that also enjoy this activity and may have “sex parties” in where one or more subs are humiliated in front of the crowd.

Alternatives To Extreme Humiliation

If the idea of humiliating your partner or being humiliated turns you on, but you’re not ready to go to the extreme with it, start small and work your way up. Alternatives to more aggressive forms of humiliating might be:

  • Nibbling or biting your partner
  • Spanking or asking to be spanked
  • Light bondage
  • Dirty talk with a dash of humiliation thrown in
  • Online or long distance humiliating