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Q&A: Swinging & Threesomes – When Things Go Bump In The Night

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Lots of male/female couples are interested in swinging or having a threesome, but many guys are worried about having a threesome with another guy. That’s why most of the time, threesomes end up being between a guy and two girls, rather than a girl and two guys. Being nervous about a MFM threesome is common, but sometimes there may be pressure on you from your girl or the other guy to be ok with it. Before you jump into something you’re not sure about, there are a few things that come into play when discussing a threesome with your partner, from whether you’re comfortable with something to what’s ok and what’s not ok.

Question: (paraphrased from German-English…)

Hope we get the points correctly… I’ve been with my girlfriend for 1 ½ years and we’ve always been into fetishes and stuff. We’ve been going to a fetish club for a while and it’s really nice and the people are great. We thought about getting with another girl or a couple but the last time we tried to be a bit voyeuristic, a ‘guy’ tried to get with us. Since then I’m not sure what to think. I’m still interested in another girl or couple – but not sure about the guy thing?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCIKHWCnX-4[/youtube]

Communication Is Key

Communicating with your partner about having a threesome or a foursome is absolutely essential before you – and whoever else you’re planning on having sex with – step foot in the bedroom. Sit down and talk with your partner about how you feel about having a threesome or swinging and encourage them to open up about how they feel about it too. Keeping feelings and thoughts about having an open marriage is often what ends up causing trouble down the road after things have already gotten started and you can’t really go back. If you’re uncomfortable with something, or don’t want certain things to happen during the threesome, make your concerns known and talk about them with your partner. Talk about feelings of jealousy or trust issues and make sure you and your partner are both on the same page when it comes to having a threesome.

Define What You’re Uncomfortable With

When talking with your partner about what is ok and what is not ok during the threesome, don’t be afraid to define exactly what you’re comfortable with or uncomfortable with. Is kissing others on the mouth ok, or would you prefer to only kiss your partner on the mouth? Is oral sex or anal sex ok, or are those things you’d like to steer clear of? This is where you want to speak up if having another man in the equation is not something you’re comfortable with. If you’d prefer a MFF threesome instead of a MFM – or you’re totally against having a MFM threesome – let your partner know. Define exactly what you’re uncomfortable with (as well as what is ok) so there are absolutely no questions later.

Nobody Takes One For The Team

In a threesome situation, there is no such thing as “taking one for the team.” It is not ok to pressure someone to try to like something or be okay with something just so you can enjoy yourself and the same goes for if you’re uncomfortable with something – you don’t have to “try” to like something or pretend you’re ok with something during a threesome so your partner and whoever else is involved can have fun. If you’re not into anal sex, don’t let someone pressure you into “just trying it out” to see how you like it. Make it clear that it’s something that is not ok, before heading to the bedroom. Hopefully, you’ve had a chance to not only talk to your partner about what you aren’t ok with, but also with the other person or couple who will be joining you. If you’ve done this already, chances are, things you’re not ok with (and things other people aren’t ok with) won’t even come up during the situation. On occasion, couples will go to sex clubs and end up meeting someone that they want to take home with them that night, and there’s not really time to discuss the ins and outs of what you want to happen during the threesome. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to speak up during sex and say, “This is not something I’m comfortable with, can we try something else?” Your partner should have your back, especially if you’ve already talked with them about the threesome.

Erectile Dysfunction – Viagra, Cialis, And Herbal Remedies

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There are dozens of television commercials, radio ads and Internet ads that talk about erectile dysfunction and the best way to cure it. There are so many options available to men that suffer from this debilitating problem that it can be hard to sort through them all. The first step to dealing with ED is to understand what exactly it is – and that other men suffer from the same thing. Here are some ways you can beat erectile dysfunction and start leading a happy and healthy sex life right now!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RrHVT07hqo[/youtube]

What Is Erectile Dysfunction?

Erectile dysfunction is a sexual problem that is characterized by a man not being able to achieve an erection of the penis. In the United States alone, approximately18 million men are affected by erectile dysfunction. There are many causes of erectile dysfunction, ranging from physical problems to emotional issues and lifestyle choices. Common diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure – and the associated medications used for treatment – can contribute to erectile dysfunction. The most likely culprit of ED is actually a combination of many different factors. Erectile dysfunction can wreak havoc on a man’s sex life, making him both unable to achieve orgasm through masturbation or sex with a partner due to the penis either not becoming erect at all or losing its erection before climax.

Treating Erectile Dysfunction

Many men who experience ED will seek treatment for this condition through their medical doctor. While visiting your medical doctor is the first thing you should do when you begin having erection issues, it should not necessarily be to obtain a prescription for the latest and greatest pharmaceutical medicine that promises to deliver a “cure.” Go to your doctor with the attitude of working with them to not only find out the true cause of losing your erection (as well as a correct medical diagnosis) but also to determine what the best course of treatment is for you. How you and your doctor choose to treat your ED depends greatly on what both of you believe to be the key issue in causing it.

Other Lifestyle Options

Contrary to popular belief, many lifestyle choices will contribute – and even cause – problems getting and keeping an erection. Stress is a huge factor when considering the cause or causes of ED and it can come from a variety of sources including work and relationships. If you feel that stress is taking over your life, it most likely is playing a role in your inability to have an erection. Talk to a counselor or make some changes in your life that will help relieve your stress, whether it is looking for a new job or ending a bad relationship. Consider getting regular massages or even seeking holistic treatments such as acupuncture to eliminate or reduce the stress that you’ve been carrying around. Exercise and eating healthy is also an important part of keeping your body in peak form, and if your diet consists of mostly processed foods that aren’t rich in vitamins and nutrients, it too may have a hand in causing ED. Commit to enriching your diet with fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as trying to get at least a little exercise each day. Alcohol, smoking and using illegal drugs can also contribute to erectile dysfunction, so it’s important to reduce or eliminate putting toxins in your body.

Traditional Medications For ED 

Sometimes, changing your lifestyle isn’t enough to treat erectile dysfunction. While being hung up on getting instant relief through pharmaceutical medications for our physical and emotional problems isn’t always the best route to solve an ongoing issue, sometimes traditional medications can help, especially when they’re part of a comprehensive plan to get rid of erectile dysfunction by looking at all the different areas of your life that could be contributing to the problem. Traditional medications for ED include the ever popular Viagra and Cialis. While these medications can definitely improve your ability to get and maintain an erection for a period of time, some insurance plans do not cover these name brand medications and the copays can be very expensive. Talk to your doctor about the potential side effects of these types of medications, including upset stomach, diarrhea, dizziness, headaches, sudden loss of vision and in rare cases, prolonged erections. Consider all the potential drawbacks of taking a traditonal ED medication in addition to the potential benefits before you and your doctor make the choice to use them. Make sure that both you and your doctor agree that the benefits of these types of medications outweight the potential risks.

Herbal ED Remedies

There are lots of herbal ED remedies that are available to men today, and are often less expensive and less risky than traditional pharmaceutical treatment for erectile dysfunction. These erection pills can actually be cheaper and less harmful to the body than other courses of treatment for the condition. Herbal supplements for ED work to bring the body’s hormones to a more balanced, natural state, which can help men achieve erections more frequently. Herbal supplements can work differently for each person, so don’t be discouraged if the first herbal treatment you try doesn’t work for you. Your body’s chemistry and the quality of the product have a lot to do with whether an herbal supplement will work for you or not. When selecting an herbal supplement for ED, pay attention to where the ingredients come from, to the concentration of herbs in each pill and whether they contain a lot of filler herbs as opposed to the herbs that will actually work to treat ED. Herbal ED remedies are an excellent choice when combined with a committment to reduce stress in your life and make better lifestyle choices.

Homemade Sex Toys – Part 2

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Homemade sex toys are definitely a popular alternative to professional sex toys because they’re often much more convenient to purchase (especially for girls and guys under the age of eighteen) and use. Many things – such as phallic shaped vegetables – you can purchase at the grocery store, and others you already have lying around your house. However, does that mean that homemade sex toys are better to use? Not exactly. Here are some popular homemade sex toys, as well as some professional alternatives that just might serve you a little better.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_itThrciXA[/youtube]

Cucumber Or Zucchini

A very popular homemade sex toy is the cucumber or zucchini. Many girls like to experiment with these instead of a traditional dildo, because it is easy to experiment with different sizes, shapes and textures. Other popular vegetables that can be used in place of a dildo include carrots and celery. These types of vegetables are popular sex toys among teenage girls and women alike, because they do not require a special trip to an adult toy store – instead, they’re available everywhere, including your local grocery and convenience stores. The downsides to using phallic shaped sex toys in lieu of professional sex toys is that many vegetables have cuts or knicks in them that can harbor bacteria. This bacteria can be transferred to the vagina or anus and can cause an infection in the body. If you must use a vegetable instead of a sex toy, slip a condom over it.

Adam & Eve Alternative: Slim Pink Pleaser or The Illumination by Doc Johnson.

Spinning Toothbrush

Some women enjoy using a spinning or sonic toothbrush on the clitoris in place of a vibrator. This will actually definitely work well in a pinch, especially if you’re traveling and don’t want to take your favorite sex toy with you. However, this is probably not something you want to use long term, because frankly, there are just so many better things out there to use to massage and stimulate the clitoris to achieve orgasm. Besides, you don’t really want to put your toothbrush back in your mouth after you’ve just gotten done using it down there, do you? Professional sex toys designed for clitoral stimulation are probably the best choice here, because many of them are just as discreet and easy to use. Think of a soft, squishy yet textured clitoral vibrator that feels just like a tongue – plus more.

Adam & Eve Alternative: The Illumination by Doc Johnson or The Clitoral Kisser

Toilet Paper Roll

Many guys use a toilet paper roll for masturbation instead of their hands – ouch! They achieve a “vagina like feel” by stuffing a grocery bag inside the roll and squirting lube inside to allow it to slide up and down the penis. While this is definitely a cheaper alternative than a professional male masturbator, there are definitely some disadvantages to using this type of homemade sex toy. First of all, a male masturbator made from latex or silicone just feels better, and can come textured or ribbed for your pleasure. Paired with a good lube, a male masturbator will make it feel more like a vagina. Male masturbators are surprisingly inexpensive and easy to purchase – plus they can be turned inside out and cleaned thoroughly (with either special sex toy cleaner or good old fashioned hot soapy water) to make it last longer.

Adam & Eve Alternative: The Super Head Honcho Masturbator

Clothespins

Men and women have both been known to use spring clothespins as nipple clamps. This is actually a very bad idea! Clothespins cannot be adjusted at all to make them squeeze harder or softer, and usually they squeeze really, really hard (unless they’re broken). Clothespins can squeeze too hard and hurt or bruise the nipple, making it painful for days afterwards. Instead, try to find professional nipple clamps with a sliding adjuster on it that will allow you to control how hard the clamp will squeeze. If you like rough sex, move the slider so that the clamp squeezes harder. If you prefer vanilla sex, adjust the clamp so that it only gives you a light pressure sensation.

Adam & Eve Alternative: Feather Fetish Nipple Clamp or Micro Vibrating Nipple Clamps

DIY Anal Beads

Some people who enjoy anal sex are using marbles, golf balls or other round objects of varying sizes and placing them in a condom to create a homemade set of anal beads. They either tie the condom in knots between the round objects or use string to tie them. While this will work to provide stimulation of the prostate gland, it is a very dangerous homemade sex toy to use. The condom can easily break and the objects inside can get lost inside the anal cavity, causing you a very expensive and embarrassing trip to the emergency room. Most anal beads are inexpensive and come in a variety of sizes for people who enjoy different anal sensations. Anal beads are also safer to use because they can be cleaned thoroughly with a toy cleaner or soap and hot water. It is extremely important to keep your anal sex toys clean and wash them after each and every use!

Adam & Eve Alternative: x10 Anal Beads

How To Make Morning Sex Better

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Morning sex has its own special appeal – many couples like morning sex better than they like regular “after-the-kids-go-to-bed” sex or even “anniversary-sex.” While having sex with your partner in the morning before work can definitely make your whole day turn out better, sometimes morning sex can be a little lackluster. Here’s a few things you can do to have better sex in the morning – and maybe make your partner want it later that day too!

Set The Alarm Early

Morning sex is great, but when it’s rushed and one or both partners don’t get to reach orgasm, it can lose its appeal very quickly. If you and your partner are in the mood and start fooling around, only to be interrupted by the realization that you both are going to be very late for work, it can quickly put a damper on things. Not only will you and your partner find it difficult to reach climax when you’re rushed like that, you may have to end things before one or both of you get to have an orgasm so you can get to work on time. Instead, set the alarm fifteen to thirty minutes early to allow you and your partner both enough time to have an orgasm. If you and your partner aren’t in the mood, feel free to set the snooze alarm or get up and make yourself a cup of coffee and read the newspaper. If you do decide to have morning sex though, you’ll both be grateful for that extra few minutes that will allow you to finish on a good note.

Go To The Bathroom And Brush Your Teeth

Chances are, you or your partner (or both of you) are going to have to get up and use the bathroom before having sex in the morning. After holding it all night long, you might find it difficult to have an orgasm if your bladder is full of urine. This goes for both men and women, so make sure to head to the restroom soon after your alarm goes off. While you’re at it, go ahead and give your teeth a quick brush. One of the biggest complaints about morning sex is that partners don’t want to start kissing each other when they both have morning breath and that a blowjob will taste a little different when there is a buildup of plaque on your teeth and in your mouth. You don’t have to spend a lot of time brushing your teeth before morning sex (after all, you’re probably antsy to get busy while you still have time) because you can always go back later and do a more thorough job before heading off to work. But giving your mouth a good once over before heading back to bed for some hanky panky can make a big difference when getting close to your partner.

Keep The Lube Nearby

Most of the time, morning sex ends up being a quick or at least semi-quick affair. A woman’s body takes a few to several minutes getting warmed up enough to produce natural lubricant – so if you put two and two together, you’ll figure out that the time for mornings sex may be over before she even gets wet enough to have sex comfortably and even have a shot at having an orgasm. Instead of having a dry, uncomfortable quickie in the morning, keep the lube nearby so you can use readily use it. Sex with lube – whether it’s in the morning or at any other time during the day – is much better and will enhance the pleasurable sensations and make orgasms that much better!

Shower Together Afterwards

After having sex, you’ll probably want to take a shower, especially if it’s on your morning to-do list before heading off to work. Instead of trying to fit in quick showers separately while getting ready, take a shower together. This few minutes of non-sexual intimacy will help you and your partner really connect to each other, and give you both an even bigger dose of feel good hormones that will help last through the day. Wash her hair for each other and make sure to scrub each other’s backs with the loofah. You can also use the time together to talk to each other about the upcoming day and what each other’s plans are. Meeting up with each other to connect is an important part of any relationship and shower time after morning sex is a perfect way to fit emotional and physical intimacy and connection in your busy schedule!

5 Tips for Sexy Flirting – That Doesn’t Go Too Far

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When scoping out the dating scene, it’s easy to spot someone you might be interested in having a conversation with and seeing if there is any chemistry. What isn’t easy is flirting with them in a sexy way without being creepy or going too far. Many men try to flirt in a sexy way and end up going way farther than is comfortable for both him and her and after that, there’s no way he’s going to get her number. Here are 5 great tips on sexy flirting that you can use and be confident that you’re not going to push the wrong buttons.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QrwLpdPkD4[/youtube]

Flirting Tip #1 – Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is a very important flirting tool that definitely shouldn’t be overlooked. In fact, eye contact really is the cornerstone of good flirting techniques. You can use eye contact in a crowded room to let someone know you’re interested in them, or you can use eye contact when someone is speaking to let them know you’re truly interested in what they have to say. When making eye contact across a room to let a girl or guy know that you’re into them, simply gaze across the room at them and once you make eye contact with them, hold it for a few seconds longer than you’re comfortable with. Just don’t stare at them in a creepy way – you’ll eventually need to break the eye contact and move across the room to introduce yourself.

Flirting Tip #2 – A Genuine Smile

There’s nothing more sexy than a genuine smile! Smiling is a great way to let someone know you’re interested in them, whether it’s from across the room or while you’re having a conversation with them. Don’t fake it either – a fake smile is easy to spot a mile away. Fake smiling, or smiling too much may make you seem a little strange. Smile genuinely and they’ll know you’re having a great time. Smiling also goes well with eye contact when making the effort to flirt. People are naturally attracted to someone who will look them in the eyes and give them a great, heart warming smile. Don’t pretend to be too cool to smile, because it definitely won’t score you any phone numbers to take home.

Flirting Tip #3 – Mirroring

Pay attention to their body language and make sure you are mirroring what they’re doing without mimicking it move for move. Completely mimicking their actions will definitely make you look creepy and it won’t be long before you’re sitting at the bar by yourself because her friend had some kind of crisis. For example, if she touches your leg lightly, place your hand over hers. If she leans towards you while talking to you, lean in towards her slightly too. Body language is incredibly powerful and if you put off the wrong body language vibes, she may think that you’re not into her even if you are.

Flirting Tip#4 – Use Lingering Touches

It’s perfectly normal for people to touch each other during casual conversation. For example, a light touch on the shoulder when laughing at a joke they said or brushing against them to get by them are all perfectly normal parts of a casual conversation. However, if you’re flirting with a girl and want her to know that you’re really interested in her, use lingering touches. A lingering touch is a touch that lasts just a few seconds longer than it normally would, but not too long – you want to be sexy not creepy. Without lingering touches, she may assume you’re just “one of the girl friends” and you’ll end up getting stuck in the friend zone. It’s okay to let him or her know that you care with a light but lingering touch.

Flirting Tip #5 – Lick Your Lips

Draw attention to your sexy, sensuous lips by licking them subtly, biting the corner of your lip or touching your lips. This signals to the other person that you definitely want in on some kissing action. Don’t draw too much attention to your mouth by doing this constantly – that will just make you look weird – but sly lip licking or nibbling here and there will have a powerful impact on the person you’re interested in. You’ll also want to pay attention to whether they’re licking their lips or touching them, because this is a signal to you that they want to kiss as well. If they’re giving off the signals of wanting to be kissed, lean over and whisper something in their ear. Linger there for just a second. Chances are, they’ll turn their head slightly towards you for the “accidentally on purpose” kiss.