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You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

Men And Porn – What’s The Big Deal?

By loveandsex

Men are very visual creatures, not least of all when it comes to sex. Walk down a crowded street, and you’ll likely see at least one guy overtly checking out an attractive woman. So overcome is he at the mere sight of her, that he’s forgotten how to be subtle. If a man can be dumbfounded at the sight of a fully-clothed woman, it should be no surprise that men love looking at naked women. Boy, do they—thanks in great part to the male love of watching attractive, nude women doing sexy things, the porn industry generates well over an estimated $10 billion a year in the U.S. alone (“Porn in the U.S.A.” by R. Leung, 60 Minutes online). It’s safe to say that, if they’re pulling in that kind of money on an annual basis, there are a whole lot of men partaking in porn viewership. But why do they do it, and how can you tell if their viewing habits are normal or not?

The Real Reason Men Like Porn

Some women are completely comfortable with their significant other’s porn consumption, but many are not. Oftentimes, women feel that their boyfriend or spouse must not be satisfied with their sex lives at home if they also want to view porn. The truth is that the vast majority of men who watch pornography aren’t doing it for any of those reasons. It doesn’t reflect on their love for their partner or how happy they are about the sex they’re having at home. They just enjoy the novelty and fantasy of it. Porn is like a dirty dream that doesn’t require your subconscious to do any work. Plus, as mentioned above, men are so visual when it comes to arousal that it helps them to have actual images to view. Perhaps women aren’t as into porn as men because they’re better at inventing their own fantasies. Girls can close their eyes and imagine a sexy situation involving themselves, but men need to see something right out in front of them.

Is Your Sex Life Suffering?

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with a guy who enjoys porn. You should only be worried if your sex life is suffering. If your boyfriend or husband can’t become aroused without watching porn, or he hardly ever wants to have sex with you but is regularly masturbating to porn, you need to have a talk. But if he wants to use porn every once and awhile, and it isn’t diminishing the quality of the sex you two are having, then more power to him. Perhaps you should even try watching some porn with him—who knows? You might find some ideas worth experimenting with in your own bedroom.

Women Like Porn Too!

In fact, despite the stereotype that men love porn and women don’t, many members of the fairer sex have enjoyed their share. In a recent Glamour Magazine column by Rebecca Webber (entitled “Are You Normal About Porn?”), the author revealed that 31% of young women have viewed porn within the past year, and 51% of women have watched pornography with their boyfriend. Though they also noted that 31% of women consider porn degrading, the numbers show that many women are either curious about or enjoying pornography. In fact, 47% of women reported liking porn featuring a man and a woman. Only 20% enjoyed less vanilla sex, so men take note—if you want to bring porn into your bedroom, start with something a little less adventurous. Try to get your partner’s input– that way you’ll pick material that will turn her on, too.

Filed Under: Porn & Adult Movies Tagged With: internet porn, porn, sex tips

7 Ways To Rekindle His Interest In You And Your Relationship

By loveandsex

Are you frustrated that your relationship doesn’t have the magic and romance that it once had? Scared this may affect or eventually end your relationship? You’re not alone. Living with the same partner for a long time can become stable and comfortable, and, as a result, can also cause the loss of the spark that made your relationship so special in the first place. Here are some simple, fun and creative ideas to reignite that magic!

1. Send Your Partner A Unique Gift At Work

Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write “I Love You” inside a heart. Next, get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner’s workplace, such as: “For the immediate and urgent attention of: Rebecca Jones, Level 20, Collins & Smith Solicitors, New York.” Mail it to your partner so they receive it in the middle of a busy day. Your partner will feel so surprised when she opens the letter, thinking that it will be something boring that she needs to do for work and instead finding the picture you drew saying that you love her!

2. Become Kids Again

If you are walking by a park, visit the swings and give your partner a ride. Push your partner on a merry go round, or go skating at the skating rink. Grab an ice cream cone as a treat, or play a game of Monopoly at home if it’s raining or the weather isn’t nice. Doing anything that you used to do as a kid with your partner will often bring back happy memories from their childhood as well as yours and make you both feel giddy again.

3. Have Fun With Water

On a hot summer day, buy two large water pistols and take them to the beach with you. If you can’t get to the beach, head outdoors to your very own backyard! Pull them out and throw one to your partner and then have a huge water fight. You can also do the same with water balloons or even just the water hose! You’d be surprised at how much fun you can have when you’re acting like a kid again and how turned on you both will be when you’re soaking wet and panting for air!

4. Bring Back Another Childhood Memory

Contact your partner’s family and ask if there was anything she always wanted when she was a little girl. For example, if she always wanted a porcelain doll, buy one for her birthday. If he always enjoyed a trip to the toy store, take him and let him buy anything he wants. Your partner will not only appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you were thoughtful enough to find out what they always wanted or enjoyed doing as a child.

5. Organize A Picnic In Your Backyard

Spread a picnic blanket on the ground and get together some snacks, sandwiches, chocolates and champagne. Put them in a picnic basket and head outside. Lie down on the blanket with your partner and gaze up at the sky together. You can do this during the day or at night, depending on whether you want to be looking at clouds or stars. You can go to the park too, but if you have a fairly private backyard, you don’t have to worry about people catching a glimpse of you and your partner if you start kissing or decide to get a little frisky.

6. Show Your Partner You’re Grateful For Them

Leave a long-stem rose where your partner will find it, with a note on it saying, “thank you for coming into my life.” You can also do this with a box of chocolates, a card or anything else that your partner would think is special. Doing small things for your partner on a regular basis is a great way to let them know that you love them “just because.”

7. Spice Up Your Sex Life

Surprise your partner with a little gift after you make love, try new sex positions, learn to give your partner a sensual massage before or after sex,  or just spend some time staring into each other’s eyes and caressing their bare skin before making love. Give her oral sex if you don’t do so very often, or make the night all about her and her pleasure. She can also do this for you too on a different night! Better sex means a happier, closer emotional relationship too.

Filed Under: Get Your Ex Back Tagged With: Get Your Ex Back, love, Relationship Advice, romance

Adult Movies: Pick Your Pleasure – Porn And Beyond

By loveandsex

Adult movies and porn have been “taboo” for many years. Many guys watch porn behind their wife’s or girlfriend’s back alone, in the dark, and often in less than five minutes. Adult movies can be used in so many more ways than just masturbation though! There are hundreds of different kinds of adult movies, so everyone can find their own “flavor.” You and your partner can explore adult movies together to spice up your sex life, and you can use them to explore different sex fantasies without actually trying them. Here’s why adult movies can add that little extra something to your sex life.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdEmSdr2iJ0&feature=channel[/youtube]

Watching Adult Movies Together

A lot of women view porn as “degrading” and assume it’s something that their husbands or boyfriends look at and masturbate to in private – and they do. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Instead of keeping the porn stashed under the mattress or in some innocuous folder deep inside your computer’s hard drive, share it with your partner. Start by browsing different videos together and talking about what each of you like and don’t like. There are so many different styles of adult movies out there that with a little digging, you’ll find a few movies that you and your partner both get turned on by. Watch them together and watch the sparks between you fly!

Trying Your Fantasies Through Videos

So you like the idea of bondage or spanking, or maybe even a little golden shower here and there, but you’ve been afraid to try it. Try watching an adult video that features your chosen fantasy and see how other people are doing it. You may discover that whatever you thought you liked really isn’t your thing, or you may find out that after watching the video, you really do want to try it with your partner! Exploring your sex fantasies through adult movies is a great way to dip your toes in the water without jumping in feet first.

Hardcore vs. Softcore Porn

One of the biggest misconceptions about porn is that it is all hardcore. Many women – and some men – assume that all porn consists of is rough sex and uncomfortable close ups on the actors’ genitals. While a great deal of hardcore porn does exist, it is definitely not the only kind of adult movies that exist. If hardcore porn isn’t up your alley, try checking out some softcore porn instead. These videos don’t show as much as hardcore adult movies do. Think of a rated “R” movie with nudity and just add a little bit more – that’s basically what you’ll find in a softcore adult video.

Kink & Fantasies

Everyone has a different fantasy when it comes to sex, and there is no shortage of kink & sex fantasies in the adult movie industry. No matter what you like – with a few exceptions – there’s a video for it. Whether you want to see two girls going at it or anal sex, you’ll find an adult movie for it and you will most likely find videos that have more than one fetish or fantasy in it. Other fantasies, such as shoe fetishes, smoking fetishes and even diaper fetishes are featured in adult videos, so if you have a fantasy that you’ve been wanting to check out, try finding a video for it. Just remember that there are videos out there that feature things that are illegal or simply just cross way over the line, so make sure that whatever you’re watching consists only of consenting adults and no one is getting seriously harmed.

Amateur Porn

Amateur porn is quickly becoming popular with websites such as YouPorn, which feature mostly regular people with webcams who film themselves having sex. If you’ve never been one for the “Lights, Camera, Action!” feel of a lot of adult movies, amateur porn may be right up your alley.

Sex Ed

If you want to learn how to give a great blowjob or want to learn other great sex techniques, the best place to learn actually isn’t porn. However, there are lots of adult videos that are focused on sex education. Most of them do feature actors having sex and performing the activity they’re teaching, but it’s less of a spectacle and more about instruction. These films are great to watch with you partner when you want to do something different in the bedroom but aren’t sure exactly how to get started. They’ll also help show you techniques that you never even thought of doing – and that will blow your partner’s mind!

Filed Under: Porn & Adult Movies Tagged With: adult movies, erotica, porn

Q&A: How To Give A Better Blowjob

By loveandsex

It’s no secret that guys love getting a blowjob. Getting head is probably one of your guy’s favorite ways to be pleasured sexually, so you should definitely learn how to give great head if you don’t already know how. And chances are, even if you’re a blowjob pro, you could use a few tips to spice up your routine. Giving a guy head sounds simple, but there are a lot of things that girls miss when they’re going down on their guy. Here are some simple tips to help you give a better blowjob.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XMsAT7S2nE[/youtube]

Be In A Comfortable Position

Being uncomfortable is one of the main complaints that women have about going down on their guy. Many women avoid giving their guy a blowjob at all just because they can’t find a comfortable position to do it in. If you’re not in a good position while going down on your guy, you’ll find that you tire more quickly and easily, your neck will start to cramp and your jaw and hands may get tired fast. You can give much better head if you find a position in which you can be comfortable during the blowjob. The best sex positions for pleasing your guy orally are usually if you are on your knees with him either sitting or lying down.

Start By Slowly Licking Him Up And Down

Most women don’t like it when their partners perform oral sex on them and just dive right in. They’d prefer if their guys started a little slower, kissing and licking lightly before starting the real show. Guys are the same. Your man doesn’t just want you to put his whole penis in your mouth and watch you start sucking like a madwoman. He’d love to see you lick slowly up and down his penis, getting him warmed up before you start going fast and using your hands as well as your mouth.

Tongue, Mouth, Hand And Fingers

Most girls’ mouths aren’t wide or long enough to completely take in all of their partner’s penis, especially if he has a big penis or a very long or wide one. So when giving your guy oral sex, use your hands and fingers in addition to your tongue and mouth to really make the blowjob great. Since you probably can’t take him completely into your mouth when he’s erect, keep your mouth on the head (which is one of the most sensitive parts of his penis) and use your hands and fingers to caress his lower shaft and testicles. Experiencing all the different sensations your hands and mouth create during a blowjob will make it truly amazing for him!

Show Him You’re Really Into It!

Guys don’t want to see a girl giving a blowjob like it’s a chore. So show your man that you’re really into it and you’re getting something out of it too. Make eye contact with him occasionally and don’t forget to make some noise. He doesn’t want to hear only himself! You can also touch yourself during the blowjob, but do so only as you’re getting him warmed up. When he gets close, all your focus needs to be on him. If you don’t mind his hands on your head, he’d love to put them there. If you do, just let him fondle your breasts during the blowjob instead. Afterwards, let him know how much you enjoyed giving him pleasure with your mouth!

Communicate With Your Partner

There are lots of things that men enjoy when getting head, and there are a few things that will make him cringe – such as using your teeth, for one. Don’t be afraid to communicate with your partner about what he likes and what he doesn’t like when you’re giving him a blowjob, because not all guys like the same thing when recieving oral sex. If you’re too shy to ask, pay attention to his non-verbal cues instead. If he really likes something, his eyes may roll back in his head or he may start breathing faster or moaning louder. He may grasp the sheets or the arms of the chair, or he may buck his hips towards you. When that happens, just keep doing whatever you’re doing! If you stop or change to doing something different, he’ll stop exhibiting these behaviors and he’ll come right back to the real world. When you find something he really likes, whether he told you or showed you that it was great, keep doing it! Chances are, it won’t be long before he reaches orgasm.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, blowjob how to, fellatio, oral sex, sex advice, sex tips

When Does Baggage Weigh Down Your Relationship?

By loveandsex

Baggage can be a total burden, whether you’re talking about the suitcases you take with you on vacation or the issues that you bring from your romantic past into your present relationship. Ask anyone who saw the recent movie Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (or read the graphic novels the film was based on)— if you’ve encountered relationship baggage, you can relate to the tale of Scott. He has to defeat his girlfriend’s “evil exes” before they can have a happy, successful relationship. The whole movie is an allegory for how baggage from previous relationships can cause your current love match to fall apart if left unmanaged. The key is to figure out what things are worth taking away from your past experiences, and what things are better off forgotten by all.

How To Tell Which Of Your Baggage Needs To Go

What, then, is baggage worth getting rid of? Anything that gets in the way of your ability to trust your current partner is definitely a problem. If you find yourself constantly doubting your significant other’s honesty just because you had a previous bad experience, you’re only hurting your relationship and yourself. That’s not to say that you should venture forth blindly into a new relationship. However, if you’ve been with someone for several weeks, and they’ve done nothing to warrant your suspicion, then you need to allow yourself to further trust them. People are not all the same, and getting into that mindset is a dangerous thing when it comes to relationships. Trust and communication are truly key to a relationship’s success, so any baggage that’s hindering you in those departments needs to be dealt with, pronto. Besides, you’ll enjoy every moment of your relationship so much more if you’re not constantly trying to catch your mate in a lie.

How Low-Self Esteem Will Destroy Your Relationship

Another type of baggage that can be extremely detrimental is the type that leads to low self-esteem. It may sound like corny self-help-speak, but you really can’t love someone else until you learn to love yourself. Maybe when you were younger, you had a major crush on a classmate who wouldn’t give you the time of day because you were too tall/short/skinny/fat/smart/ditzy/etc. Odds are that the object of your heartbreak was probably oblivious in general, or perhaps just really mean, and you were never as ugly or awkward as you were made to feel. Odds are also good that you’re a pretty different person now than you were then. Maturity has many benefits. If you continue to go through life doubting your appeal to others because of a past mishap, you’re hurting not just yourself, but your potential dates as well. You can’t let negative baggage convince you that you’re not worthy of someone else’s romantic affections. Start focusing on all of the things there are to like about you. Confidence is attractive—self-doubt is not. Remind yourself that all that bad stuff happened in the past and should be left there. You’re a more evolved person in the present.

Learn From Your Past Relationships

Of course, though there is much bad baggage that should be gotten rid of, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t value what we’ve learned from past relationships. If you really want to make the best of your previous experience, focus more on what those old relationships have taught you about yourself than about the other involved parties. Instead of letting a bad break at the hands of a cheater teach you that all members of the opposite sex aren’t to be trusted, take away from that experience that honesty and open communication are very important to you. Be sure to express that to your next boy- or girlfriend. Maybe your last long term relationship was filled with nasty fights because your ex preferred to spend way more of their time with their friends than with you. Instead of freaking out the first time your new significant other mentions girls’ or boys’ night, recognize that you’re someone that wants a lot of one-on-one time in your relationship. Calmly bring this up, and work with your new love to find a good friend-time and romantic-time balance. However, if your current guy or gal keeps trending toward the same bad habits as your ex AFTER these conversations, you probably should consider a breakup. Just don’t let your baggage make you jump to conclusions before you’ve had a heart-to-heart or two.

Filed Under: Relationship Advice Tagged With: dating, Relationship Advice

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