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Q&A: First Threesome – Who Should It Be With?

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Once you and your partner have reached a consensus on having a threesome together, the next tough step is finding someone to have a threesome with, because it needs to be someone you and your partner are both comfortable with. Here’s what you need to know to choose the best sex partner for your first threesome.

Question: If my boyfriend and I have decided to participate in a threesome, who should it be with? Should it be a close friend who is comfortable with the idea, or should it be a stranger, but a clean stranger of course?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2IEcUgkEYo[/youtube]

Not With A Close Friend

While you may be tempted to try having a threesome with a close friend who you know is comfortable with a threesome because you know them well and trust them. But having a threesome with a friend who you’ve known for a long time can potentially destroy a valuable friendship. Especially since you and your partner are new at this, you’re going to have enough on your plate without having to worry about whether your friend too. Your first threesome should be a fun new experience for you and your partner, and bringing a close friend into the mix can easily cause jealousy and frustration.

Not With A Perfect Stranger

Having a threesome with a perfect stranger may seem the way to go if you’re worried about jealousy issues, but remember – you’ll know absolutely nothing about this person. You won’t know if they’re at all compatible with you or your partner, and getting naked with a perfect stranger can be intimidating and downright weird. It can be especially uncomfortable if all three of you are inexperienced at having a threesome! And it can be downright unsafe… Just like sex between 2 people, get to know the person you’re with.

Adult Dating

If not with a friend or a total stranger, than who should your first threesome be with? Fortunately, there are a number of adult dating resources with people just like you who are looking for adult fun without any strings attached.

Adult dating websites allow you to get to know someone through email and chat, so you can determine if they’re a good match for you and your partner or not. Choose someone with a little experience with threesomes or foursomes, and make sure they’re comfortable with first timers. Make sure you lay the ground rules out first, and be sure to speak up if there’s something in particular you aren’t comfortable with before you meet them.

If online adult dating isn’t your thing, try visiting a swinger club in a larger city. Swinger clubs are great for getting your feet wet, because many people just like to watch or have sex with their own partners in a swinger environment. However you choose your first time threesome partner, make sure both you and your partner are comfortable with them and you’ve discussed your preferences up front. It will help you avoid disaster later!

And we can’t say this enough: get to know the people you’re having sex with, both for safety and for just general compatibility.

Take just a minute to check out Adult Friend Finder to meet singles and couples looking for sex near you. Read our review to find out why Adult Friend Finder is the first choice to find someone for sex tonight.

Q&A: Why Is My Partner Hiding Porn From Me?

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The majority of men watch porn, but the majority of their partners don’t know about it. Men are very good at keeping porn and masturbation a secret – but do they have to? Your partner isn’t hiding porn from you because he’s hiding other things from you too. Here’s what to do if your partner hides his porn or denies watching it.

Question: I discovered that my partner has been looking at porn and hasn’t told me, in fact if it ever comes up he claims he doesn’t. I’ve even tried to get him to watch it with me before and he says he doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to watch it. What does this mean and should I worry that he’s hiding other things from me?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlfRz0VNQo8[/youtube]

Secret Masturbation Is A Habit

Growing up, if a boy got his hands on a Playboy magazine, he was lucky. If he didn’t want Mom to take it away, he’d make sure it was hidden really well and if asked about masturbation, he would deny, deny, deny. A lot of men carry this habit into their relationships with women, but not because he doesn’t trust you. It’s an old habit that dies hard, and some men just don’t think anything about stashing their porn or masturbating in secret because they’ve done it for so long. A man isn’t going to come up to his partner and say, “Hey, I was looking at porn today, what do you think?” It’s just something he does by himself and always has. It doesn’t mean he’s hiding other things from you or that you can’t trust him.

Build Trust

Build trust with your partner by masturbating in front of him and sharing your fantasies with him. Be open with him sexually and make him feel comfortable being sexually open with you. Encourage him to share his fantasies with you as well. Fondle him while you fondle yourself, and trade places. Let him fondle you while he fondles himself and see what happens. Don’t criticize your partner at all sexually, because you want to help him feel that the proverbial bedroom is a safe place to be where he can be himself and not worry about criticism or judgement of any kind. He needs to know that masturbation isn’t wrong and you’re not going to shun him for doing it. He’s not twelve anymore and he doesn’t have to hide masturbation from you. It’s a normal and healthy part of being a man and you need to help him to feel that way by being open and accepting.

Lead By Example

If you want to watch porn with your partner, lead by example. Bring some porn that turns you on to the table and let him know that you’re interested in watching it together. Don’t ask him to share his own porn with you because it will only serve to make him nervous and uncomfortable thinking about you watching his porn and picking it apart. Get some porn that can specifically be “couples porn” and only watch it with each other. Show him that he doesn’t need to be embarrassed about being turned on by porn and that porn can be a great way to spice up your sex life together.

Q&A: How To Fantasize Without Sounding Like A Pervert

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In a new sexual relationship, it can be nerve wracking to share your sexual fantasies, likes and dislikes with your new partner. Will they judge you? Will you sound like a pervert if you tell them what gets you turned on? Here’s how to share your fantasies with your partner – without making yourself look bad.

Question: My girlfriend keeps asking me what turns me on. How do I say something without sounding like a pervert?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYwdCpqafPE&feature=channel[/youtube]

Accept Your Fantasies

Everyone has something that turns them on sexually. Each person has a fantasy or fetish – and some people have more than one – and what turns someone on differs greatly from person to person. There are as many sexual fetishes, likes and dislikes in the world as there are people. What turns you on is part of what makes you sexually unique, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Unless your fetish is illegal – say, child pornography – having something special (or several somethings special) that gets you hot is perfectly normal. If you accept your fantasies and fetishes as part of yourself and aren’t embarrassed by them, you’re not going to sound like a pervert when you share them with your partner. You’re going to sound like a hot, confident guy who knows what he likes and what he wants. Her attitude about it greatly depends on your attitude about it.

When Your Partner Opens The Door

If your partner has asked you to share with them what turns you on, this is an open door that you want to take advantage of. Sure, coming right out and saying to your partner, “Hey, do you like to bite during sex?” might sound strange coming out of nowhere, but if your partner asks you what you like in the bedroom, don’t be too embarrassed to tell her. She’s let you know that she wants to share fantasies with you. This is a sign that she’s more open minded about sex than you think. Take advantage of the situation and talk about what you like and what she likes. You might find that what turns you on turns her on too and vice versa!

Make It Fun

Sharing your fantasies with your partner isn’t supposed to be nerve wracking, it’s supposed to be fun! Finding out about your partner’s fantasies and sharing yours with her is part of the fun of a new sexual relationship. If you’re still nervous about sharing what turns you on with her, try playing a fun sex game to loosen you up. Adam And Eve has a great game called Sex Is Fun, and involves fun questions about you and your partner’s fantasies. Popular sex advice magazine Cosmo has also come out with a Truth Or Dare game that lets you and your partner discover the truth about each other – and get turned on by the sexy dares. However you decide to share your fantasies and fetishes with your new partner, don’t be embarrassed or scared to do so. Make it fun and exciting instead, because it’s really not as big a deal as you think it is!

Q&A: Cracking Jokes And Talking During Sex

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A lot of people find themselves cracking jokes or talking during sex. While sex is generally “supposed” to be hot, heavy and sexy, it can actually be funny too! Is cracking jokes, laughing or talking during sex wrong? Can doing it hurt your relationship with your partner if you talk or laugh too much?

Question: Cracking jokes during sex?? So, when I’m REALLY into it, I tend to ask him, “Am I your bitch?” To which he’ll be like, ‘Yes, yes! My horny ‘lil bitch!” (Damn this is horrible putting this out here) Anyways, I just randomly cracked up a few days ago RIGHT in the middle of going at it and said, “You get the whole bitch thing right? Yeah, cause I’m always presenting myself to you like a bitch in heat.” I swear he laughed, then smacked me on the asscheek. He also says I talk WAY too much during sex. How can I help that??

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NglMOrW4I0I[/youtube]

Sex Is Supposed To Be Fun!

One of the best things about sex is that it can be whatever you want it to be. Whether you want it to be soft, slow and romantic or hard, fast and dirty, sex is all about what you make it to be. If you want sex to be fun and lighthearted, it can be that too! Sex is supposed to be a way to have fun, relieve stress and make you feel good and if you want to laugh, talk or crack a joke or two, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Of course, making sex out to be a complete joke won’t work for you or your partner though, so where do you cross the line?

Too Much Goofiness?

While it’s great to have fun during sex, laughing and making jokes can go too far if you let it. Are you always cracking jokes, or always laughing? Is sex ever serious or sexy for you? If not, you might want to try stopping the joke making, laughing and talking some of the time and try having a sweet love making session or a downright dirty one. It doesn’t matter which (or anything in between) as long as there’s no joking involved. Giving your partner a break from the laughing and joking and focusing just on the pleasure might be more incredible than you can imagine!

When One Of You Isn’t Into It

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with laughing and talking during sex. But if one of you isn’t into it, it gets old quick. You just can’t be sure if your partner is laughing at you or not and sometimes you just want sex to be sex instead of a joke. If your partner isn’t into the talking or making jokes during sex, it can damage your relationship and your partner’s sexual satisfaction if you keep it up. Think about why you’re laughing and making jokes all the time during sex. Are you unable to let go and fully enjoy sex? Are you trying to cover up for being uncomfortable or nervous during sex? If you can’t quit laughing and joking during sex (at least some of the time) it’s time to dig deep and figure out why.

Q&A: Help! My Girlfriend Does NOT Want Me To Use A Condom

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While using a condom is a great way to protect yourself and your partner from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, not everyone likes the way a condom feels. Both men and women can find condoms uncomfortable, and many find it harder to orgasm when using one. Are there other ways to prevent pregnancy and STD’s?

Question: I have a problem. My girlfriend doesn’t want me to use a condom while having sex. I’m telling her that we must use it to prevent pregnancy. She is telling me that there is other ways of contraception, but she doesn’t want to have a condom in her. What other simple ways you can suggest to prevent pregnancy? And what should I do? Should I talk to her more about using a condom?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD5nPgGfv0U[/youtube]

Why Doesn’t She Want To Use A Condom?

If your partner doesn’t want you to use a condom, try to find out what it is about condoms that make her so uncomfortable. Does she have a latex allergy and she doesn’t know it? Is she sensitive to spermicide in condoms, or does she simply not like the way that it feels? There are a number of different kinds of condoms available, including polyurethane condoms for those with latex allergies, scented and flavored condoms, textured condoms and condoms without spermicide if she’s sensitive. Try getting a “goodie bag” of condoms together (you can buy a mixed lot of condoms easily online) and suggest trying them out.

Other Forms Of Birth Control

There are other forms of birth control available, such as the pill, the patch or the shot. But none of these contraception methods help to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Unless you are absolutely positive that you are both monogamous to each other and have had recent, completely negative STD testing results (and no unprotected partners in between), you just can’t be sure that you won’t transmit or contract a sexually transmitted disease. One of the best ways to prevent pregnancy and STD’s together is for the woman to use a form of hormonal birth control such as the pill or the patch in addition to using a condom. This double layer protection is the best way to ease your mind and let you have fun with your partner without worrying about STD’s and pregnancy.

No Glove, No Love

Ultimately, you decide whether you’re comfortable using a condom or not. Don’t let your partner pressure you into not using a condom if you don’t feel comfortable with it. You and your partner may find an alternative birth control method that works well for the both of you, but make sure it’s something you are comfortable with too. Remember though that the end decision lies with you. If you don’t want to have sex without a condom, don’t do it and don’t let anyone else tell you that you have to. There’s nothing wrong with insisting that you be safe and if your partner ends the relationship because of it, you’ll regret that a lot less than an unwanted pregnancy or ending up with a sexually transmitted disease.