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Q&A: How To Clean An Uncircumcised Penis

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There is a great deal of controversy between many pro-intact groups on how to properly clean an uncircumcised penis and there is a lot of information on the Internet now that is contradicting. What should you do when cleaning a boy’s intact penis and what shouldn’t you do?  

Question: I had a baby boy 7 months ago (our third) and we didn’t get him circumcised. My question is, what so we need to know for teaching him about proper care when he gets older? I have looked it up and there is lots of contradicting information. Does he need to pull back the skin to clean it or not? Any other information about this issue would be great!!!  

–YouTube Viewer  

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON1P5gMDLPY[/youtube]  

Never Forcibly Retract The Foreskin  

When a boy is young, the foreskin is fused to the head of his penis, called the glans, and won’t easily retract. This is completely normal and healthy. When cleaning a boy’s penis at this stage, it is imperative to never forcibly retract the foreskin. If it doesn’t move easily, don’t move it. Wash what you can see thoroughly with gentle soap and warm water during bathtime and with a wet wipe at diaper changes. Until the foreskin retracts on its own, there is nothing more that needs to be done at this stage to keep an intact penis clean.  

When The Foreskin Retracts  

The foreskin begins retracting easily at a different age for everyone. There is no set “age” when a foreskin begins retracting. Many people believe it is not until puberty, while others believe it is more in the toddler years. Some boys will retract as early as 3-18 months while others won’t retract until they’re adults. It varies from child to child. When the foreskin begins retracting, it is time to pull back the foreskin during cleaning and rinse it with warm water. If your child is very young when this happens, this is something you will do until he is old enough to do it himself. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that “for the first few years, an occasional retraction with cleansing beneath is sufficient.” If he is older when his foreskin retracts, instruct him on how to pull the foreskin back himself and wash underneath it.  

Keeping It Clean  

An intact penis produces a good amount of a white, waxy substance called smegma underneath the foreskin. Smegma isn’t harmful at all, but it can cause a very strong odor to come from the penis. Washing gently underneath the foreskin is an important part of daily hygeine for boys and men. The American Academy of Pediatrics has published and regularly updates guidelines on how to care for a boy’s uncircumcised penis:  

If your son’s foreskin separates before he reaches puberty, an occasional retraction with cleansing beneath will do.

Once your son starts puberty, he should clean beneath his foreskin as part of his daily routine, just like washing his hair and brushing his teeth.  

Teach your son to clean his foreskin in the following way:

Step 1: Gently pull the foreskin back away from the end of the penis.

Step 2: Rinse underneath the foreskin with soap and warm water.

Step 3: Pull the foreskin back over the penis.

The American Academy of Pediatrics is an organization of 60,000 primary care pediatricians, pediatric medical suspecialists, and pediatric surgical specialists dedicated to the health, safety, and well-being of infants, children, adolescents, and young adults.

Source: American Academy of Pediatrics, Updated 6/07

Is Your Single Behavior Sabotaging A Possible Relationship?

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Being single is all about freedom: freedom to dress how you want, do what you want, clean when you want, and so on. You don’t have a girlfriend who insists you cut your hair or take the garbage out before your apartment starts to smell. You don’t have a boyfriend who wants to see you wearing something nicer than sweatpants or makes you want to keep your legs clean-shaven. You don’t have a significant other who stops you from making a fool of yourself in public.

However, this sense of freedom is a bit of a Catch-22. No one is around to keep you on your toes. Yet these behaviors can stop possible mates from wanting to be around, keeping you on your toes. It is up to you to spot and fix these relationship-sabotaging behaviors.

Wild Child

No one expects (or wants!) you to be subdued on a Friday night at the bar. You can let loose and have fun. However, know the social limits. Every guy wants to be with that girl who will crack a joke, do a funny dance, and laugh too much. However, it is the rare man who wants to bring the drunk girl—the one flashing her bra and starting fights—home to meet his family. A woman will not look at the man groping the butts of random women and think, “I’m going to marry that guy someday.”

Pigpen

Your home is your own private area; but if you are not careful, it will ensure you never have to share it with anyone else. Say you’re on a date. You find yourself rounding the bases at light speed and you bring the date back home with you. If he or she walks in and sees piles of garbage on the coffee table or cockroaches eating the leftover food on your counter, it will be very difficult to feel passionate. Not only could it ruin your night…it could ruin your chances of this date becoming something more permanent.

Furthermore, your personal hygiene will be a big roadblock if it is not up to par. It’s easy to fall back on certain things, if you don’t have that somebody around to impress. Maybe you don’t shower as often as you could. Or maybe you only shave your legs in the summer (sound familiar?). Or maybe you don’t iron your wrinkly clothes. However, if you act as if you don’t love yourself, as if you’re not proud of your appearance, potential mates will notice.

Busy Bee

One of the best pieces of advice for people looking for love is to get involved and be busy. Being out and about, working on your hobbies is a great way to meet like-minded people. However, have you become so accustomed to filling your schedule that you are unable to free up time if necessary? If a person asks you out, but you must repeatedly reschedule or “take a rain check,” he or she will not wait around forever. Learn the art of downtime.

Q&A: First Time Sex – I Didn’t Bleed. Is That Normal?

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First time sex feels different for everyone. It may hurt or feel tight, or it may feel great. You may have heard that girls bleed when they lose their virginity. Many years ago, a woman’s blood on her husband’s bedsheets was proof that his bride was a virgin when he married her. Do all girls bleed after having sex for the first time?

Question: I am a young teenage girl and recently in September I lost my virginity to a guy I didn’t really care about. It hurt a bit, but I didn’t bleed.  Recently I had sex with a guy I have been crazy about for years, and it hurt a lot worse then my first time but I still didn’t bleed. Is there something wrong with me? Or is this natural? 

P.S. There was protection used both times. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a bad person.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFbtDxltRWY[/youtube]

Not All Girls Bleed

While many girls do bleed after having sex for the first time, some girls don’t. This is perfectly normal and natural. If a girl does bleed after losing her virginity, it may be simply a few spots, but it can also be heavier like a period flow. It can last just a few minutes or a few hours, and sometimes can last the better part of a day. If you bleed very heavily after having sex for the first time, or continue to for several hours or more than a day, make an appointment to see your doctor right away.

What Causes Bleeding After Sex?

Girls are born with a protective “covering” over their vaginal openings called a hymen. Most of the time it does not cover the opening completely, but usually has a small hole in the middle to allow for menstrual flow to escape. During sex, however, the hymen is broken because a penis is generally bigger than the small hole in the hymen. When the hymen is broken, this often causes some mild bleeding and is perfectly normal. However, since not all girls bleed after having sex for the first time, there must be other ways that the hymen can break – and in some cases, it doesn’t break at all or was never really there in the first place.

Other Ways The Hymen Can Break

One of the reasons that virginity never could be “proved” by blood on the sheets after a woman has sex for the first time is because the hymen can break a number of different ways, before a girl even thinks of having sex. The hymen can break while horseback riding, a bumpy SUV ride, or when inserting a tampon for the first time. In the case of a tampon breaking the hymen, you may never know that your hymen broke because you would most likely have mistaken the blood for your menstrual flow. If you don’t bleed after having sex for the first time, it doesn’t mean that you are unhealthy or something is wrong with you. Just remember to have your annual exams and use protection during sex to stay safe and healthy.

Q&A: Are Sexual Fetishes Weird?

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People with sexual fetishes or certain sexual fantasies are constantly asking themselves if their preferences are considered “normal,” or if they are strange and weird for having said fetish or obsession. There are a variety of sexual fetishes and fantasies out there – how do you know if yours is “normal?”

Question: Is it weird to get turned on by strange things, like fetishes and stuff? Like, there are some things I enjoy which a normal person would hate or find painful or embarrassing. Is this normal?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDZGWvrfkO0[/youtube]

Define “Normal”

Fortunately for human beings, “normal” is relative. What is considered normal and what isn’t is based on each person’s belief system, morals and point of view. There is no concrete “this is normal and this isn’t,” because it is different for everybody. Unfortunately though, it is a common belief that one person’s view of what is normal and what isn’t must be forced on everyone else. It’s time to shake that belief, and realize that one person’s definition of what is normal or weird is going to be different from everyone else’s. It’s time to embrace our diversity and focus on our own beliefs and actions instead of dictating everyone else’s.

What Is A Fetish?

A fetish, as defined by UrbanDictionary.com, is considered a sexual obsession with a usually non-sexual object. Many people have a “shoe fetish” or a sexual obsession with shoes. Some people have a specific fetish for high heels only, while some people are turned on by shoes of all kinds. Other people may like fur, armpit or leg hair, or may be exceptionally turned on by different types of scents. Whatever your fetish is, this object generally will heighten sexual pleasure and may even be required during sex to acheive sexual release. Some fetishes, such as pedophilia and bestiality to name a few, do cross the line, so there are a few ways to tell if your sexual obsession goes too far or not.

Informed Consent Is What Makes The Difference

Regardless of what your fetish is, it must meet a few criteria for it to be considered “okay.” And by “okay,” we mean legal. Each person involved must be an adult (as in over 18) and must be able to and have given informed consent to whatever will happen. Informed consent can’t be given by children, animals or those mentally unable to make informed decisions such as people who are very intoxicated or have a mental handicap. It’s also a good idea if no one gets seriously hurt, although some sexual obsessions such as biting, piercing and bloodletting could be viewed by others as being “serious,” while if done safely pose very little harm at all. When experimenting with fetishes, always use a safe word and if someone wants to stop, STOP! If everyone involved is an adult and has made the informed decision to participate, and as long as no one gets seriously hurt, you can relax. Your fetish may seem “strange” to others but if it works for you, go for it!

Q&A: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Lose Her Virginity

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Having sex for the first time is a big step – one that involves consent from both partners and a lot of thought on each end. If one partner wants to have sex before the other, it may pose a problem. Here’s what you can do if you and your partner don’t agree on when to take that step. 

Question: My girlfriend doesn’t want to have normal sex yet (she’s only 16 and I’m about the same age, and we both are virgins), but I really love her and I really want to give pleasure to her. Should I give her oral sex or fingering or something like that, so that she wouldn’t lose her virginity, but would be satisfied?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4ooAIEGzlw[/youtube]

Her Right To Say No

If your partner doesn’t want to lose their virginity, it is her right to say no. Even if you suggest other things to give her sexual pleasure, such as oral sex or fingering, remember that she doesn’t have to do anything that she is uncomfortable with regardless of whether she’s “technically” losing her virginity or not. If you really want to share a sexual experience with y0ur partner, ask her if there is anything that she would like and would be comfortable with. If she isn’t comfortable with something, don’t pressure her and give her some time to think about it.

Don’t Do Something You’ll Regret

If you and your partner mutually decide to have sex for the first time, or experience some other type of sexual pleasure together, think it through first. Make sure your partner really is comfortable with whatever you and her have decided to do, and isn’t doing something she’ll regret later just because you want her to. Also, make sure you’re not doing anything you’ll regret later too. Whether you’re having sexual intercourse or giving or receiving oral sex from your partner, worrying about pregnancy or STD’s.remember to be safe always. Use a condom during sexual intercourse and if she wants to give you oral sex, as well as using a dental dam when you give oral sex to her. Your first time – enjoying each other sexually in whatever way you choose – shouldn’t be about

Sex Is More Pleasurable When You Wait

If you and your partner decide to wait to have sex and experience each other sexually, you’ve made a great decision. Waiting until you’re more emotionally mature and prepared for sex can make it more pleasurable for both you and your partner. Rushing into sexual intercourse or other sexual activities, and possibly regretting it later, is not going to give you or your partner much sexual satisfaction outside the moment. However, waiting until you and your partner truly are ready to have sex – both physically and emotionally – means that you and your partner can share a deeply sexual and satisfying relationship both in and outside the bedroom. You don’t necessarily have to wait forever though – try making a deal with your partner to revisit the discussion in 3 or 6 months. You or your partner may feel differently about the subject after spending more time with each other and more time in the relationship.