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The Pitfalls of Suddenly Single Friends

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When both you and your best friend are coupled up, it can be the greatest thing in the world. You can double-date, your boyfriends can become friends and you have someone who understands issues you face. However, when that friend is suddenly single, your own relationship can suffer. Here’s how it happens and how you can prevent it.

You Go Out With Her More

It only makes sense that she will want to go out and have fun, maybe meet new men (especially if she was dumped and feeling particularly vulnerable). It only makes more sense that she will want you to come with her. She needs a wingman to help her, to cheer her up, to just be around her. However, this can be detrimental to your own relationship since you will be spending less time with your boyfriend, and more time in the company of different men, which can lead to problems. We all know relationships are fabulous. But sometimes single-hood seems more fun when you have been with the same person for a long time. To watch your friend flirt (and be flirted) with good-looking or charming strangers, you may start to wonder if you shouldn’t also be single again.

She Wants You To Be Single

You know what makes being single much better? When your friend is single too. Living it up at the bar and sharing sexy stories about strangers is only fun if you have someone by your side. However, if you cannot relate with or participate in her single life, it stops being quite so exciting for her. She may subconsciously (or maybe not…) start saying things or putting ideas into your head to make you second-guess your relationship. It is understandable that the newly single friend doesn’t want your boyfriend hanging around. Firstly, he may remind her of the relationship she just left (or of relationships altogether). Secondly, his presence may prevent other men from approaching her. Thirdly, she may just want some girl-time. However, this unintentional ultimatum, once again, may take more time away from your boyfriend, which can potentially hurt your relationship.

You Start Analyzing Your Own Relationship Problems

You may not think things are so bad with your own relationship until your friend talks about how similar issues ruined hers. Maybe she grew tired of her boyfriend working too much or maybe she just decided she could find someone better. Having those relationship problems highlighted may make you think, “Wait, I think my boyfriend works too much, also!” or “Maybe I can do better too…” The best thing you can do for your relationship during this time is to stay positive. Think about the things you appreciate or enjoy about your boyfriend. Focus on the reasons you like being in a relationship. Also, talk with your boyfriend about what went wrong with your friend’s relationship. Together, brainstorm ways to ensure this won’t happen to you two, as well.

Q&A: Help! I Like This Girl But She Has A Boyfriend

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When you like someone and they’re already involved with someone else, your first instinct may be to simply let it go. But what if they’re giving you signals that they like you too, and you really would like to date them? Can you “steal” them away from their current relationship or should you still let it be and move on?

Question: I know this girl who I really like and I think she likes me too. She gives me these signs like laughing at everything I say, complementing me on my clothes, and smiling charmingly at me – but she only does it with me. Here’s the problem – she has a boyfriend and he treats her like shit. She’s like a pet to him, but I’m not the kind of guy who steals a girlfriend. I really like this girl though. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxTym3O4SGc[/youtube]

Make Sure You’re Reading The Signals Correctly

One of the biggest misunderstandings between men and women is interpreting flirting and friendliness the wrong way. If you like someone, you may be all too eager to assume their polite smiles and friendly conversation means that they like you as more than friends. If someone who is already in a relationship is giving you these signals, make sure you’re interpreting them correctly before you make any kind of move. Make sure you’re not stuck in the “friend zone” and she’s not just using you to vent about her current relationship.

Relationships Aren’t Ownership

When we’re involved with someone, whether we’re dating or married, we tend to put these labels on our significant others as though we “own” them. Human beings can’t be “owned” by anyone though – we are free to spend our time with who we choose. If someone is in a relationship but wants to hang out with someone else and have a good time, they are perfectly within their right to do so. You are also free to spend time with them as well, regardless of their current relationship attachments. Although we are free to spend time with who we want at our own discretion, there can be consequences to those actions. Their partner may choose to end the relationship if they’re uncomfortable with the situation and they are, of course, free to do so as well. But remember that no one can “own” or “control” anyone else and force them not to spend time with someone or to stay in a relationship.

Follow Your Heart

When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s important that you follow your heart and you allow the person you’re interested in to do so as well. All may end well with a new, happier relationship but there is also the possibility that the other person’s heart leads them to stay in their current relationship for one reason or another. The most important thing here is to be true to yourself, and communicate your feelings honestly with the other person without being critical of them or their current relationship. What happens after that is anyone’s guess, but being true to yourself is an incredible feeling regardless of what happens later.

Q&A: More Anal Sex… How To Clean Up Afterward

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It’s a fact – anal sex can get messy. Whether you ejaculate in the anus during anal sex or not, you’ll still want to clean up afterward. Preventing the spread of bacteria and keeping yourself comfortably clean are important after anal sex. Here’s how you can clean up afterward so you can have fun before!

Question: I know you suggest using condoms for anal sex, and my girlfriend and I take every precaution when we do it. Sometimes we use condoms, but sometimes we don’t. I want to know about ejaculating in her through anal sex.
What are your takes on it? I want to know mainly because while in the heat of the moment things happen. In case it does happen, what are the best ways to go about cleaning up afterward?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eUy80K3iTQ[/youtube]

Is Semen In The Anus Safe?

If you ejaculate in your partner’s anus during anal sex, you may wonder if it’s safe. As far as pregnancy goes, you can’t impregnante a woman through anal sex so you’re safe there. But having unprotected anal sex at all – ejaculation or no ejaculation – puts you at risk for contracting or spreading sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Anal sex is a bit more risky when it comes to STD’s than traditional vaginal sex because the risk of exposure to blood and other bodily fluids is much higher. Having anal sex with a condom – even with a monogomous partner – is a great way to keep yourself safe from sexually transmitted diseases and infections as well as keep ejaculate from entering the anal cavity during orgasm.

Ejaculating During Anal Sex

When ejaculate enters the anus during anal sex, it leaves the anus the same way it leaves the vagina during vaginal sex – it comes out the same way it comes in. With vaginal sex, however, semen comes out much more quickly and can be cleaned up more easily than with anal sex. Ejaculate doesn’t always come out of the anal cavity right away, and it may come out at inopportune times. Usually, it comes out when you have a bowel movement but can leak out at other times as well. To clean the anal cavity of ejaculate after anal sex, you can pick up an enema kit at your local drugstore to wash the anus clean of semen. Enemas are also an excellent way to get clean before having anal sex, keeping the anal cavity free of fecal matter during sex. If you or your partner prefer to keep semen out of the anal cavity during sex, remember that using a condom is a great way to do that.

Cleaning Up Afterwards

Since anal sex can help spread bacteria that can make you and your partner sick, cleaning up properly afterwards is very important. Clean any anal sex toys used with warm soap and water, or use a special toy cleaner. Wash your hands and your penis thoroughly and have your partner wash her bottom with soap and water as well. Better yet, enjoy a steamy shower with your partner and make cleaning up after anal sex as erotic and pleasurable as anal sex is for you!

The Truth About The Prostate Gland

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You may have heard of a prostate gland, a gland inside a man’s body that is capable of providing him with great pleasure when stimulated, also known as prostate massage or prostate milking. The prostate is hard to get to though – it can sometimes be lightly stimulated by a firm touch underneath a man’s scrotum but usually responds best when stimulated from inside the anus. Do men really like prostate stimulation?

Men Who Love Prostate Stimulation

Some men who enjoy having their prostate gland stimulated during sex say, “Once you try it, you’ll never go back!” Initially, these men may have been a little nervous to try anal play but once they learned how pleasurable it was, it became one of their favorite things in the bedroom. Prostate massage can greatly enhance sexual pleasure and make orgasms more powerful and intense than through penile stimulation alone. Prostate milking can be done alone or in conjunction with oral sex or vaginal sex. Many women truly enjoy stimulating their partner’s prostate gland during sex and prostate massage can help to enhance a dull sex life.

Men Who Hate Prostate Massage

There are some men who have tried prostate stimulation and don’t like it, and many more men that refuse to try it because of the sensitivity of the anus. Some men find any type of anal stimulation uncomfortable or painful and some men simply don’t like the idea of it. With any type of anal play, you definitely take the chance that things will get dirty. Often, men feel embarrassed at the idea of messy anal stimulation and are too uncomfortable to have an enema beforehand. Some men who don’t like the idea of prostate massage can be introduced to it slowly, but many men who are uncomfortable with it are very unwilling to try any anal play at all. Never push the issue with your man – if he doesn’t want to do it, don’t force him and don’t continue to ask him about it. Some men just don’t like it and never will.

How To Introduce It To Your Man

The best way to introduce anal play and prostate stimulation to your partner is to do so very slowly. Talk to your partner first to find out if he is interested in prostate massage and would be willing to try it. If he’s apprehensive, ask him if there is anything you can do to make him more comfortable with the idea. Start small and work your way up, and don’t forget to use lots of water or silicone based lubricant. The anal sphincter does not lubricate itself, so you really can’t use enough lube. Never use a numbing lubricant, because it is important to stop immediately if your partner finds anything painful. You can start with a finger, or a very slim, small toy designed for prostate stimulation. Even small butt plugs may be pleasurable for your partner without causing too much pain or discomfort initially. Remember that any anal sex toy must have a wide base that will not allow it to go all the way in the anal cavity. Toys without a wide base designed for anal play can get lost inside the anal cavity and can cause much damage.

Q&A: Why Do Jerks Get All The Girls?

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Often, the dating world seems completely backwards. You see an older guy with a younger, hot woman or a cute guy with another guy. Sometimes you just can’t catch a break! You’re a nice, well brought up person with a lot to bring to the table – so why is everyone else scoring a date when you aren’t?

Question: My buddy and I were talking the other day and came up with this random subject – why is it that all the jerks get the good looking girls, and the nice guys get left out? Personally, I was raised to be nice and a gentleman. I’m only a jerk to those who act like a jerk to me. I just want to know why the hell do the jerks get all the girls and the nice guys don’t?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_WynSY4bDs[/youtube]

Women Want A Confident Guy

Confident guys – often mistaken for jerks – usually get the girl. Why? Because he asks her out and he’s comfortable being around her. He doesn’t exude a meek or timid attitude. Instead, he is comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is – and comes off that way to women. “Nice guys” sometimes are too afraid or shy to ask a girl out or even go up to a girl and talk to her. This is not the type of guy that gets a girl! A woman will look right past this type of guy and go for the confident guy instead, regardless of how polite and gentlemanly the nice guy is.

Women Want A Strong Guy

When a woman goes on a date with a man, she doesn’t want to be asked, “Where would you like to go? What would you like to do? Is this okay with you?” They want a man who will say, “We’re going to go to dinner here and then I’m taking you to go see a movie.” They want a man who can make confident decisions on his own without her input, but in a nice way. This is where being a nice guy can come in handy – she doesn’t want a rude man who is going to boss her around! She wants someone who is polite and treats her well, but is strong enough to take the reins in the relationship when needed. Women who go out with a pushover will push him over and tire of him quickly.

Jerks Don’t Keep A Girl

It may seem that jerks get all the girls and lots of them, but there’s a different story that goes on behind the scenes. While a “jerk” might get a girl to go out with him because he appears strong and confident, it is very unlikely that he is going to keep her. She will realize soon enough that she isn’t being treated well and move on to a different relationship. The way to get a girl is to be a strong, confident man that is comfortable asking a woman out and being assertive in the relationship, but the way to keep her is to be a gentleman and treat her like the lady she is.