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Q&A: What Went Wrong On The First Date

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So many things can go wrong on a first date – but sometimes it seems as nothing went wrong and it still ends up getting weird for seemingly no reason! This can be incredibly frustrating, especially if you feel as though the date actually went well. What do you do if it seems like all of a sudden they’re just not that into you? How can you find out why?

Question: I went on a date this guy who has been flirting with me for about a month and a half. He put his arm around me, we held hands, and we were cheek to cheek. I really like him, and I thought the date went well. But I guess he didn’t because he’s only talked to me a couple times since then, but not like he used to. Why is he doing this? What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KW2_er1NCk[/youtube]

Was There Chemistry On His Part?

Sometimes during a first date, one person feels lots of chemistry but the other may not. Even if you and your date end up holding hands, hugging or even kissing good night, this doesn’t mean that the chemistry is there for him. Often, physical things such as hand holding happen on a date just because it seems natural to do – it’s not a good indicator of whether both parties are really into each other or not. If your date isn’t calling you back or avoiding you all together, he may not just have had that chemistry with you and that’s ok. Sometimes it’s just not there.

He Wants To Avoid The Situation

It may be hard for a guy or girl to admit that although the first date seemed to go really well, that they just didn’t click with you. Often, they’ll just try to avoid the situation all together such as avoiding calling or talking to you. This can be incredibly frustrating though, and leave you wondering just what exactly you did wrong to deserve being given the cold shoulder. Don’t take it personally! It’s unlikely that you actually did something wrong during the date or upset them in some way – it’s more probable that your date is avoiding you because they’re afraid to tell you that the chemistry just wasn’t there.

If You Want To Know, Ask

If you want to know if you really did do something during the first date that pushed them away, or if you want to know if it just didn’t click for them, just ask! It may seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. There’s nothing wrong with casually asking what happened. Tell your date that you just don’t want it to be weird and it would be better if it were out in the open. If they didn’t have that chemistry with you, that’s fine. You can be friends if they want, or nothing at all. But there is nothing wrong with simply asking them what is going on because you deserve to know! It doesn’t have to be complicated if you don’t make it complicated.

How Aromatherapy Can Improve Your Sex Life

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We’ve all lit the vanilla candles before sex to help create a romantic mood – but can other scents help turn you or your partner on even more? Science shows that aromatherapy really does work and that bringing different smells into the bedroom can instantly turn “blah” sex into “wow” sex. Here’s how you can use scents and aromatherapy to improve your sex life.

Sexual Benefits Of Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy has proven over decades to be a powerful way to stimulate parts of the brain that are related to sex and sensuality through our sense of smell. Aromatherapy is a great way to spice up your sex life if it is lacking, or simply enrich an already fantastic sex life. Many aromatherapy studies have shown that using scents can actually improve arousal and blood flow to both men’s and women’s genitals. While most scents increase blood flow to a man’s penis, only certain scents incrase blood flow to a woman’s vaginal area. Other scents were actually proven to turn a woman off, including the scents of barbeque and men’s cologne. In addition to the purely physical benefits of scents in the bedroom, scents that elevate the mood and make you feel good will also help stimulate your mind for sex. Many scents are proven to increase certain hormones in the body that are related to love and sex, making a man or woman feel more inclined to be more sensual and sexy in the bedroom.

Scents That Will Turn Your Partner On

The most powerful scents to use for a man are suprisingly lavender and pumpkin pie. These smells were shown to actually increase the blood flow to a man’s genitals up to 40% and put him in the mood for sex. If you want to really set the mood for your man, burn a few pumpkin pie or lavender candles for a few hours before making your move. Pumpkin pie is a great scent for warm, cozy winter sex and cuddling while lavender is a great spring and summer scent. A woman, however, will respond best to the smell of licorice. Licorice is a great scent to use in the bedroom because while it is the most potent scent for a woman’s arousal, it will also affect a man’s arousal in a positive way as well.

Essential Oils

For hundreds of years, aromatherapy has incorporated powerful essential oils during sex. Many varieties of essential oils are used in sensual massage oils and can help relax your partner and put them in a more sexual frame of mind when used in conjunction with a fantastic massage. The scents of rose, patchouli, ylang ylang and jasmine are all scents that are easy to find and extremely effective in setting a romantic and sensual mood for sex. While most essential oils are diluted when used in massage oils, undiluted essential oils can be used sparingly on a cotton ball or in a warming dish and set next to your bed to help diffuse the scent throughout the entire room. Aromatherapy is more powerful when used for a few minutes or hours prior to having sex to allow the body to respond to the scents that are being used.

Q&A: My Girlfriend Wants To Do Me With A Strap On

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The act of penetrating your partner during sex is intense.  It’s a huge turn on for guys – but believe it or not, penetrating their partner (instead of being penetrated) can be a turn on for women too. Some women fantasize about having sex with their man with a strap on. Many men, however, don’t find this idea at all appealing. What do you do if your girl wants to do you with a strap on – and you’re not into it?

Question: I have been having sex with my girlfriend for 3 months now and just recently she keeps bring up the idea of her pleasuring me with a strap on. The idea scares me and I feel as if I were to go through with it I would be less of a man. How do I talk her out of it?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-vjCzzy_HE&feature=PlayList&p=400F0FDDC21B83A0&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=32[/youtube]

Open And Honest Communication

When bringing up a fantasy, whether it’s your fantasy or hers, it’s important that both you and your partner be open and honest with each other. Each partner should be able to bring up a fantasy of theirs without the fear of criticism or being laughed at. That doesn’t mean you have to go along with it though. If her fantasy makes you uncomfortable (or vice versa) it’s important that you are honest with your partner and voice your concerns without being condescending or critical. Sex between you and your partner should be enjoyable for both of you, and neither partner should be forced to be uncomfortable just so the other partner can have a pleasurable experience. If your partner wants to try something that makes you uncomfortable, let her know. If she wants to have sex with you using a strap-on, let her know what about that idea causes you discomfort.

How To Say No

Whether you aren’t into the idea of playing in the mud or you’d rather keep your anus a “one way only” street, those are all perfectly sound reasons to bring up to your partner. When you’re talking to your partner about why you don’t want to have her use a strap-on on you, make sure that you use “I” terms instead of “you” terms. This is about you after all, and why the idea of her introducing this type of BDSM makes you uneasy. Be careful not to make her feel as though her fantasies are gross or wrong. She should feel safe enough in the relationship to bring her fantasies up in conversation, whether you actually go through with them or not.

She Should Respect You

If you respect your partner enough to make it safe for her to share her fantasies with you, she should respect you enough to realize that you may not want to participate in all of them. Ultimately, if you’re not comfortable with something, she shouldn’t force you to do it or become angry if you won’t. It’s your body after all. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If she doesn’t respect you enough to dismiss her fantasy and find a form of sex or BDSM that you both can enjoy in the bedroom, it’s time to move on to someone who does respect you and your body.

The Key To Giving Women Multiple Orgasms

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A lot of men wish they could give their women multiple orgasms, and many women wish their partners could too! Giving your woman more than one orgasm might seem impossible, but it’s not! There is 1 simple key to giving your partner multiple orgasms during sex, and most men are simply missing it! It’s so easy you’ll be able to do it every time you have sex. Here’s how:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0UZb9Q7t5s[/youtube]

The Biggest Mistake Men Make During Sex

The biggest mistake that almost all men make during sex is not giving their partner an orgasm before intercourse. A lot of men simply jump the gun. He may give her a little bit of foreplay before penetration, but because pentration is the focus for him, he assumes it’s the focus for his partner too. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Many women can’t have an orgasm through intercourse alone, but they often will have an orgasm with intercourse if they’ve had an orgasm previously through manual or oral stimulation.

How A Woman Can Have Multiple Orgasms

Women are more easily able to have multiple orgasms during sex than men. The idea behind this is that while men come down quickly after an orgasm, women actually stay on the verge of climax after they’ve had an orgasm – they don’t come down right away. The first orgasm sends blood and hormones to her most sensitive spots, such as her G-spot and her clitoris. A man, however, is just the opposite. His body sends blood and hormones to his penis during stimulation and after orgasm, the blood returns to the rest of his body and his penis becomes slack. A woman’s body is primed for another orgasm after the first one, whereas after his orgasm, a man’s body is primed for rest and recovery. By giving her an orgasm by going down on her or via manual stimulation, you will allow her to be closer to climax during penetration.

Giving Her An Orgasm Before Intercourse

In order to give your partner multiple orgasms, you need to focus on her primarily during foreplay. Make foreplay all about her, and either give her manual or oral stimulation. Learn how to go down on her if you don’t already know how – oral sex is your most powerful ally if you want to give her multiple orgasms during intercourse. Combine oral and manual stimulation for a combination G-spot and clitoral orgasm. You can also use toys or vibrators – whatever your partner likes. The objective during this stage of sex is to give her a powerful orgasm through any means possible. Remember to listen to both her vocal feedback and her body language to find out how she likes to be touched and encourage her to communicate with you what she likes best. By giving her the first orgasm before you and her even get started with intercourse ensures she’s going to have a great time, no matter what.

How To Improve The Taste Of Your Semen

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Many guys get really turned on by the idea of their partner swallowing their semen. Many women, however, don’t enjoy swallowing due to the taste of their partner’s semen. Is there a way to improve the taste and quality of your sperm? Here’s what you can do to make your semen taste better, and entice your partner to swallow.

What Is Semen Made Of?

Even though there are millions of sperm in a tablespoon of semen, sperm only comprises about 1% of ejaculate overall. Semen is mostly made up of proteins, water, salts, sugars and cholesterol. These are all things that allow sperm to travel and stay healthy. Since most of the sugars, proteins and salts in the rest of our bodies comes from what we eat, it makes sense that what you eat plays a big part in how your semen looks, tastes and feels. You can improve the taste, color and texture of your semen by changing your diet.

Avoiding Toxins

Toxins such as alcohol, caffeine and nicotine can all flavor your semen in negative ways. The body rids toxins in any way that it can, through urine, sweat and even ejaculation. Medications and other drugs, such as marijuana, can also flavor your semen and make it saltier or cause it to have a bitter aftertaste. Ridding your body of these toxins is the first step in sweeter, better tasting sperm.

Eating Right

Eating a good amount of fiber, protein and vegetables is a great way to start improving the taste of your semen. The best way to actually flavor your semen is with fresh fruits, especially pineapple. Any fruit will help your sperm become sweeter, including apples, cherries, pears, grapes and more. Even fresh fruit juices will help and can often be more convenient than eating whole fruits. Avoid eating vegetables that cause gas, such as cabbage, broccoli and cauliflower as this will cause your semen to taste more bitter. Vegetables such as celery and wheatgrass can improve the taste of your semen, as well as herbs such as cinnamon. Also, remember to drink plenty of water to keep your body flushed out and hydrated. Eat as healthy and natural as you can, because even the preservatives in products like chips, candy and frozen foods can make semen taste bitter.

Exercise

Exercise is an important part of sexual health, and your overall health and fitness also plays a part in how your sperm tastes. Make sure to get enough exercise in addition to a healthy diet. Frequent sex or masturbation can also help keep your semen in good condition, as new sperm and semen are being made on a regular basis. If you take one or more steps to help improve the taste and quality of your semen, your partner may be more willing to try swallowing after going down on you and may be more comfortable with the taste of your sperm. Try eating well and exercising for a week or two before asking your partner to swallow after a blowjob again – give your body enough time to flush out the toxins and absorb the nutrients you’re putting into it.