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He Only Wants Oral Sex After The Baby!

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Sometimes in a relationship, men and women can get off the same page when it comes to sex. As often as it happens, it still makes for an uncomfortable and awkward, not to mention unsatisfying sexual relationship.

A lot of times, a sexual rift comes between two partners after they’ve just had a baby. What can you do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I had a baby and now my husband won’t have sex with me — he only wants oral sex? Is there something wrong with me? What can I do?

–Stacy, New Hampshire

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6cnw7pEync[/youtube]

He Wants Oral Sex Only – Help!

If you and your partner are experiencing a sexual rift, he may start to want oral sex more than traditional sex. He may not feel up to being intimate with you sexually, and prefers to ask you for oral sex only to satisfy his sexual needs.

Logical as it may be, it’s incredibly frustrating for the other partner when she can’t get her sexual needs met as well. The first step to fixing the problem is to take a long, hard look at the possible reasons behind the sexual rift.

And Baby Makes Three?

A lot of times, a new baby coming in to the mix can cause sexual rifts faster than anything else. It might freak your man out a little bit to see you caring for this new little human being and being a mother, when he used to see you more sexually as a lover.

It might be throwing him off a little bit to see you in this new light and it might take a little while for him to get used to it. It might also be that he’s a little freaked out about your equipment. After all, if you had a vaginal birth, your equipment might look and feel different than it did before.

Then again, he may just be having some emotional issues that have nothing to do with a baby. It’s best if you take an understanding approach to the situation rather than a critical one.

Talking It Out

Approach your partner in a positive, non critical way and ask him about the situation. Tell him how you feel, but also give him an opportunity to open up to you about how he feels as well. Listen to what he has to say!

The most important part here though is to remain calm and try not to be critical or negative towards him. Avoid using words or phrases like, “you never” or “you always.”

If you give your partner the opportunity, you might be able to talk it out with them and reach a solution or a compromise to the issue that leaves you both satisfied sexually and emotionally.

If you try talking to your partner and nothing seems to be helping the situation, you might consider visiting a non-biased sex therapist. A sex therapist can help your partner work out any inner emotional issues he may be having that is causing him to want oral sex only in a way that directly relates to your sex life.

You can also try implementing new things in the bedroom, such as dressing sexy to help him see you as a more sexual being, or just spending more time together trying to connect. With time and effort, you and your partner will once again have a sex life that is incredible for both of you!

Is Virtual Cheating Really Cheating?

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As people begin to spend more and more time online for both work and pleasure, it’s only natural that you’re going to meet people online through websites and even through friends.

Sometimes, however, people build relationships with others online, even if they’re currently in a relationship with someone in the real world. Is virtual cheating really cheating?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Just recently I found out that my husband has been e-mailing other women online. When I confronted him, he said he did not think it was cheating. We have a great marriage and sex life. How do I get past this and begin to trust again?

–Katie, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8af1VRFEg4[/youtube]

The Dishonesty Factor

While many couples define cheating differently, one way of looking at it is through the dishonesty factor. Whether it’s an online relationship or watching pornography when you’re not around, if your partner is dishonest with you about it or only takes part in these activities when you’re not around, you can pretty much bet your partner is cheating on you.

Not cheating in the “I had sex with someone else” sense; we’re talking emotional cheating here, which is often more hurtful than purely physical cheating. If you look at “cheating” through the dishonesty factor, any activity which your partner is dishonest with you about or tries to hide from you can be considered cheating.

Virtual Cheating – How Does It Make You Feel?

If you and your partner have a different take on cheating, for example, if you both feel like cheating is simply having a sexual tryst with someone else, it probably still doesn’t make you feel too great if your partner is chatting online or developing romantic relationships with other people online behind your back.

Just because it might not fall under your definition of cheating, if you’re not comfortable with it, it’s time to speak up!

This goes for anything in your relationship. If you’re not comfortable with something, it’s important that you discuss with your partner the way the virtual relationships and chatting makes you feel so that you can begin to work it out and find boundaries that make you both happy.

Talking To Your Partner

So you’re uncomfortable with your partner developing romantic relationships online, and you may even consider it cheating. It’s time to bring it up to your partner and let them know how you feel. It’s important not to be critical, regardless of how angry and hurt you might be.

Don’t let the argument escalate! Take the time to sit down and really talk to your partner about how it makes you feel and why you consider it cheating or why you don’t. Listen to what your partner has to say about it. If you both give each other the chance to present your sides of the issue, most likely you can work out a solution that makes both of you happy!

You should also take this opportunity to clarify the boundaries of online relationships and online chatting. Talk with your partner about what is okay and what isn’t. Make suggestions and even talk about some hypothetical situations and how they might make you feel if they happened.

You can begin to shape some clearer lines about what is acceptable and what isn’t when it comes to virtual relationships and chatting – only you and your partner can decide what is right for you!

Online Dating – To Pay Or Not To Pay

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In the past, online dating was seen as more “desperate” than traditional dating, but as more and more things are going online, the social stigma of online dating has all but disappeared. Now it’s more of a tool that you can use to meet people that have similar interests in your area.

There are both free sites and paid sites. The question is, which do you choose?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I just can’t seem to meet single women in Real World situations. I’ve tried to meet women on 100% free dating sites, followed the rules to the best of my abilities (being honest, having no pictures with girls in them, talk about specific hobbies and life goals, etc.), and still nothing.

My friends are bugging me to join a pay site like Match.com or eHarmony, but isn’t a PAY site just telling the world that I’m so desperate that I have to pay someone $30-$50 a month just for the POSSIBILITY of meeting women? What reason do I have to think that I’ll be anymore successful here than I was there? Are pay sites an insulting admission of desperation, or simply using another tool in the world of meeting women?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjFU5o6GUHQ[/youtube]

The Benefits Of Unpaid Online Dating Websites

Unpaid sites have their advantages namely you can meet people online for free. Your credit card never gets billed and you don’t have to risk paying for a service that might not ever be useful.

That is, you might never find anyone online that you’re compatible with. If you’re using a free online dating site, it’s more of a disappointment rather than a financial issue. But paid dating websites have many advantages as well. In fact, many of the popular paid online dating websites have benefits that far outweigh the drawbacks of paying for an online dating tool.

How Serious Are You?

Whether you want to pay for an online dating website service or not is up to you. You know your financial situation and you know if this is something you can commit to financially or not.

Think about this though. How serious are you about meeting someone online? If you’re simply doing it for fun or for friends and don’t mind if you never find anyone you’re compatible with, a free online dating website might be right up your alley.

However, if you’re more serious about finding someone you really enjoy spending time with and might end up being that really special someone, a paid online dating website is going to give you more of what you’re looking for.

Paying For a Membership Is a Big Commitment

Why is that? For starters, to fork over the bucks each month to belong to an online dating website service requires a pretty hefty level of commitment from you. You definitely want to make sure you’re serious about finding someone you really like if you’re going to pay each month for the possibility of meeting them.

The biggest benefit of belonging to a paid online dating website, however, is that everyone else who belongs to the website also forks over money each month for their membership. That means they’re serious about dating too.

So you know going into it that you’re going to meet people online that are just as committed to dating as you are, and that’s quite refreshing when you really think about it!

Online dating isn’t for everyone, but if you choose to belong to either a paid or unpaid online dating membership, don’t be afraid that you’re going to appear “desperate” or silly.

Online dating websites are excellent tools you can use to meet like minded people in your area that you probably wouldn’t have met otherwise! Just make sure that if you find someone you really like that you take that step forward and bring the relationship from an online introduction to a real life, real world relationship.

How Can I Tell If My Date Really Likes Me?

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Navigating the dating world can be difficult for both men and women. It’s hard to tell what your date’s motivations are and if they really like you or not.

Both men and women can also send mixed messages too, making it even harder for you to figure out what is going on. How can you tell if your date really likes you?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

How can I tell if she’s really into me?

–Jeff, North Carolina

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToRffXGLx7c[/youtube]

Dating vs. Friends

The first way to tell if your date really likes you is to look at the dating pattern. Are you going on dates with this person alone or are you going on dates with other friends as friends? If you’re going on dates with them alone, do you continue to go out on dates or call each other?

If the answer is that you are dating this person, as in going on dates alone with them and spending time with them, chances are they really do like you. Neither men nor women will continue to date someone and continue to spend time with someone if they’re not at least a little interested.

If you’re dating someone, you can assume they like you enough to give you more chances, and they probably like you a lot!

If you and your date are going out with other people, such as your friends, it can be a little more difficult to figure out if they like you or not.

Body Language

Another way to tell if your date really likes you is to pay attention to their body language. Do they move close to you when they talk to you? Do they touch your arm or your leg as they’re having a discussion with you? If your date seems really interested in you and really does like you, you’ll be able to tell by watching their body language.

Talk To Them

The surest way to find out if your date is really into you is to simply talk to them! You can have a conversation with them that doesn’t put pressure on them or makes them feel awkward. Just be honest.

Talk to them like you would and old friend and ask in a casual way if they’re interested in you and would like to continue dating. Be careful not to ask questions like, “Where do you see this going?” or open ended questions like, “How do you feel about me?”

Make it as easy as possible for them to answer you truthfully. Your best option is a question where they can give you a simple yes or no answer.

If your date does express interest in you, take it at face value! Don’t try to read too much into it. In the beginning of the dating process, your primary goal is to simply spend time with your date, getting to know them and letting them get to know you.

You have a right to enjoy yourself and have fun, and your date does too! Try to keep “relationship” questions out of the picture as much as possible when you’re first dating someone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t casually ask if they’re interested in you! Just make it brief and uninvolved.

The Elusive G-Spot – How To Find It And What To Do With It When You Do

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Orgasms by themselves are often difficult for many women to achieve, let alone the mystical G-Spot orgasm. Learning how to find the G-Spot and achieve orgasm solely through penetration is an incredible way to strengthen the sexual bond you have with your partner and enrich your sex life.

The trick is, how tricky is it?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend can only have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation.  I want to pleasure her more – how can I find the G-spot everyone is talking about and make sex with her last longer?

–Sean, Oklahoma

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv106uHOkNY[/youtube]

Needing Clitoral Stimulation

If your partner needs clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm every time, don’t worry – it’s perfectly normal. In fact, that’s why the clitoris is there – providing pleasure and orgasm is it’s only job. That doesn’t mean that you should give up on the elusive G-Spot though.

Learning how to pleasure your partner through both clitoral and G-Spot stimulation can help make your sex life incredibly satisfying for both you and your partner. Did you know that a woman can even have a clitoral orgasm and a G-Spot orgasm at the same time?

In fact, clitoral stimulation will often help a G-Spot orgasm along and vice versa. If you’re interested in finding a woman’s G-Spot, there is a ton of literature that will give you some great information on how to find it and what to do with it when you do.

Practice Makes Perfect

When you begin learning the techniques you need to use to bring your partner to orgasm through G-Spot stimulation, you may not be very good at it right away. It takes time to learn what your partner likes and what they don’t like and even the best techniques may need to be modified according to your partner’s specific likes and dislikes.

Take some time to practice with your partner and try different techniques until you find the ones that work the best. You can also try looking online for forums or message boards where other people have talked about the techniques they like to use. Don’t be afraid to add your input – you might get some tips from other people that can really help you out.

Providing Feedback

The most important aspect of learning how to pleasure your partner through G-Spot stimulation is to be open to receiving feedback and of course, making sure your partner is open to giving feedback. While trying out different techniques, let your partner know that she should tell you what feels good and what doesn’t.

If she has any suggestions on what might feel better or how to modify a certain technique to make it more pleasurable, let her know that suggestions are welcome. Be open to receiving positive criticism as well – it’s a learning process and you’ll learn much more if you are open to listening about what you’re doing right (and wrong) without getting your feelings hurt.

This way, you can learn what really gets your partner going, whether it’s G-Spot stimulation, clitoral stimulation or a mixture of the two.

Learning how to reach the G-Spot and how to pleasure your partner through G-Spot stimulation isn’t always easy and it does take some patience from both partners.

With time, effort and a positive attitude, you can use G-Spot stimulation during intercourse, oral sex and other types of sexual play to enhance your partner’s pleasure and make your sex life and sexual connection more satisfying.