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Does Liking Anal Sex With a Strap On Make Me Gay?

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Many people like different forms of sex. New and exciting sexual encounters help spice up the sex life, and if you’re into trying new things you might find a few that really turn you on and help make your orgasms explosive!

Both women and men can enjoy anal sex and if you’re a man who has a female partner but enjoys her using a strap on to have anal sex with you, you could be wondering if it makes you gay. It doesn’t!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I really like it when my wife does me with a strap-on (she likes it too). It feels really good – intense orgasms. I don’t think I am gay. I think I would rather kiss a monkey than kiss another guy.

1) I don’t feel gay, or bi, but I really like getting boned in the booty by my wife – does this make me a little girly man?

2) Am I really gay but somehow just don’t realize it? Is that even possible?

3) Any suggestions on how to make it feel even better?

–Stuart, Georgia

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5IiMqDwS_o[/youtube]

Being gay involves more than anal sex

Being homosexual involves a number of different hormonal and emotional issues – not just enjoying anal sex. Homosexual men might fantasize about having sex with other men, or may be physically and emotionally attracted to men more than women.

Simply enjoying having anal sex does not make you a homosexual! Similarly, not all homosexual men enjoy anal sex. It is simply a matter of personal preference that is not at all grouped by age, race, sexual orientation or gender.

If you enjoy having your female partner perform anal sex on you with a strap on, and she enjoys it too, you are welcome to thoroughly enjoy your new sexual experiences together! Don’t let anyone judge you based on what you and your partner enjoy in the bedroom. What you and her like is up to you and no one else has a say in it. As long as you’re both being safe, you’re both willing and no one is getting hurt, feel free to take part in your sexual pleasure and enjoy!

As a heterosexual man, you might be a little unfamiliar with the ins and outs of anal sex, so to speak. You might have tried it a few times and liked it, but haven’t taken it any further than that. There are a number of things you can do to make sure anal sex is safe and even more enjoyable for both you and your partner!

Things to remember

First of all, remember that the rectum is one of bacteria’s favorite places to be. If your partner uses a strap on to have anal sex with you, thoroughly wash the strap on or other toy with soap and hot water before using it anywhere else, especially in her vagina! Remember to wash your hands before continuing to have any contact with your partner or really, anything or anyone else!

Keeping bacteria contamination to a minimum during anal sex is one of the most important ways to ensure anal sex success. You should also take care to use lots and lots of lubricant to prevent tearing, and always tell your partner if something is uncomfortable or painful.

She’s using a fake penis, so it may be difficult for her to tell if there is a great deal of resistance or if she is thrusting too hard. You might consider coming up with a code word that is completely unrelated to sex, such as “banana” so that if you say the code word, the anal sex immediately stops.

To make anal sex more enjoyable for you and your partner, you can use flavored or scented lubrication or even lubrication that warms or cools upon touch. Experiment with different sizes and textures of strap ons, or even consider using plugs or anal beads for added enjoyment. Just use your imagination!

I’m A Virgin – Will My Big Penis Hurt My Partner?

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This isn’t a common question because usually it’s the other way around with a man asking if his penis is too small. Though the questions are opposites, the answers share a common thread.

It’s really not the size of your penis, but how you use it.  A lot of guys see this as a copout response, but it is the honest answer.  It also depends on the woman and the size of her vagina. If you think your penis is to large for your woman then you should take it slow and see how she responds.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My penis is 7.5″ long. I’m a virgin and I don’t want my first time to hurt whoever I intend to share my virginity with. Am I too big?

–Concerned, Florida

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V06cliv_n0[/youtube]

Penis size really isn’t that important

What is more important than length of your penis is the width of it. If your penis is long and thick then your partner might be in for a little bit of trouble.  There is no “correct” length, because we are all made differently but what really matters is if you and your partner enjoy sexual intercourse and that you’re not causing her discomfort. If it is your first time, then you should take it slow and see how she reacts.

You’ll find there are a lot of women out there who enjoy a large penis, so don’t worry too much if you think you’re too large. There are also plenty of lubricants to help ease the process of insertion to make it much gentler on the woman. Sex is to be enjoyable to both parties, but some men who have larger penises don’t stop to think if it might be uncomfortable for a woman.

You’ll find you will have a much better sex life if you do stop to consider your partner’s enjoyment as much as your own. You won’t hear as much praise from your partner if you are a “stick it in and hope for the best” kind of guy.  Sex is as much about pleasing your partner as it is pleasing yourself.

A large penis is intimidating

Having a large penis can be intimidating to both the man and woman.  Most men prize a larger penis, but seldom stop to find out if their partner is comfortable with it. By stopping to ask if your partner is comfortable with the size of your penis and if intercourse is enjoyable for her, you have made an effort towards being a good lover to your partner.

You have to remember that usually for a woman, the first time can be painful, but a woman’s vagina is amazingly accommodating. After a few times of having sex, the vagina will make room for a larger penis and sex will become more enjoyable. Some women are afraid a large penis will hurt , which it might if your penis is very wide or extraordinarily long.

Most of this discomfort will pass as the vagina becomes accustomed to more girth. It is possible for the vagina to tear, which can be painful for a woman, but this will usually heal in time. You might need to take it easy for a few days while it does though.

All in all, it’s not very likely that your penis will hurt your partner. Vaginas almost always accommodate, even if the first few times are painful. If you’re forceful, however, you can hurt your partner regardless of your size. Just take it slow and make sure both you and your partner are comfortable!

How To Ask A Shy Girl Out On A Date…

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Nothing can be more intimidating than asking out a girl you’ve had a crush on or have known since forever.  The thought of telling this amazing woman that you really like her and having her snub you sends shivers down the spine, especially if she’s shy.

It doesn’t matter how popular or confident you are, when it comes to that special girl it’s hard to find the right words. You don’t want to put her off, but what is the right thing to do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m a good looking, popular guy and have no trouble asking girls out – except for this one girl I’ve had a crush on since the eight grade… I walk away from a conversation with her thinking “What the heck did I just say” – I sound like a dumb jock! My Question: How do you ask out a shy girl, that you are desperately head over heals in love with? Ask her friends? Just walk up to her?

–YouTube)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqoiiELpIJI[/youtube]

There is no right way

The honest answer is there is no right thing to do. No one knows what another person will say or do. What you can’t do though, is simply let your fear hold you back from taking the leap of faith and opening yourself up to her. Sure, she might say no, which is her discretion. It’s pretty much guaranteed though, that if you just stand back and do nothing you will regret it for the rest of your life.

To start, you shouldn’t just go up and lay it on her that you’ve been in love with her forever and you desperately want to be with her.  That is a bit much to lay on someone and might even scare her a little bit.  The most important thing is to just be honest with her. Start small, like asking her out on a date not as friends but as a couple. Try flirting more and don’t hide away from her by pretending you don’t like her.

You have to let her know you like her or you’ll be forever stuck in the friend zone, the terrible place where relationships never grow and nothing ever changes. You should have the courage to tell her directly because it’s going to mean a whole lot more if it comes straight from you.

You can make it happen

If you want anything to happen, you have to make it happen. You can’t sit around and make excuses and hope that one day she just falls in your lap. The world seldom works that way outside of Hollywood.

If you get up the courage to ask her and she says no, then at least you can take pride in the fact that you owned up to how you felt and actually made that first step. Keep in mind though, that a “no” now may not be forever. As time passes, she might actually change her mind and decide you’re not such a bad guy to go out with after all.

Hearing a “no” is better than hearing nothing at all because you never made that first step. Don’t let your fear control you, work past it and change that dream into reality. As scary as hearing a “no” might be, just think of how amazingly fantastic hearing a “yes” would be! Don’t focus on the negative, work towards the positive.

Just think that if you’re friends, you probably know her better than most of the guys she has or will date.  You have an edge in knowing many of the things she likes and dislikes already which is valuable knowledge when it comes to dating.  There will never be the perfect time to ask, so just go for the gusto and make it happen. When all is said and done, you’ll look back and be glad you went for it no matter the outcome.

Swinger Swap Gone Wrong! Can We Recover?

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You’ve made the jump into swinging. Congratulations! It takes a lot of courage to make the foray into swinging.

There’s a reason for that though. Swinging doesn’t always work the way we hope it to.

What do you do when swinging goes wrong? What happens if there’s a rift between you and your partner after swinging? What do you do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband got quite close to his client. They eventually became attracted to each other. All 4 of us became close socially. Eventually we began to talk about a swap. We went on a short holiday. Both of them were very close and comfy with each other. Her husband and I were not and the situation got very uncomfortable. Nothing happened between any of the couples. But our marriages have been affected. My husband is still close to her. And each day my emotions drive me crazy. We still go out as friends. But one day I’m ok with it, and another day I’m hurt that he puts her before me. I feel that her husband also goes thru what I’m going thru. It’s destroying me. What should I do?

— Samantha, Uganda

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fbl73MXEAZ0[/youtube]

Swinging Gone Wrong

Most of the time, when swinging goes wrong it’s a jealousy issue. This can happen before you actually have sex, during or after. Even if your partner is just spending time with another person while you’re spending time with someone else as well, it can lead to jealousy and hurt feelings. This can be especially difficult to deal with if your foray into swinging isn’t as successful as your partner’s. You may feel left out or forgotten about.

If you’re experiencing any of these feelings, relax. They’re all normal feelings. Swinging isn’t for everyone and it may have taken a step in that direction for you to realize that swinging isn’t for you. Don’t dismiss your feelings because you think you “shouldn’t” have them, or that you “brought them on yourself” because you agreed to the swinging in the first place.

You reserve the right to change your mind about swinging at any point in time, any place, anywhere. If swinging starts making you feel uncomfortable, even if it didn’t at first, it’s perfectly fine to change your mind and stop the swinging.

Going In Reverse

If you’ve had a not so good experience with swinging, you have every right to put a stop to it. That may prevent any hurt feelings in the future, but what about the hurt you’re harboring now? Is your relationship doomed to failure now that you’ve introduced swinging into your lives?

Not necessarily

Your relationship is only going to be doomed if you let it. If you’re feeling hurt and upset about the swinging, it’s important that you talk to your partner about it. Let them know how you’re feeling without blaming your partner and without being critical. Talk about what happened and when you’re done talking, talk some more! Be open and honest in your communication.

The number one reason that swinging ends up destroying relationships is because one or both partners don’t communicate with each other. They’re not on the same page and they stay that way, because no one speaks up. Discuss with your partner what hurt you and find out what went wrong. Is there a way that it could be prevented in the future, should you decide to swing again?

By being on the same page as your partner and talking to each other about what went wrong with the swinging, you can begin to heal those hurt feelings. You can put the feelings of jealousy aside as your partner reassures you and together you can work to put aside what happened and begin to strengthen your relationship.

With open and honest communication, you can keep a bad swinging experience from ruining your relationship with your partner. If you decide never to swing again, that’s your prerogative. It’s important to understand that swinging isn’t for everyone and as long as you and your partner are open with each other, you can both come out having learned a lot!

Is Phone Sex Really Cheating?

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In a world where technology is growing with no end in sight, it’s not uncommon for people to seek sexual pleasure or to fill sexual voids using technology.

Whether it’s phone sex, internet cyber sex or online dating, many people end up using technology to their advantage to spice up their sex lives or further their relationships. What happens if you’re doing these things while you’re in a relationship with someone else? Is it really cheating?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I love my husband and have tried for years to get him to be more open with sex. I am not shy at all and prefer more sparks and even some dirty talking. He won’t ……at all. He prefers it quiet and the same. Here is the problem. I met a wonderful man on yahoo chat. He’s married as well and neither of us will ever leave our spouses. We have the most amazing phone sex imaginable. I’m afraid otherwise without this outlet I would have strayed. But this “cyber sex” fills a need and keeps me home where I love my husband.

Am I a horrible person…….should I stop?

— Chris, Wisconsin

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZnqvnzwRUk[/youtube]

Breaking Your Partner’s Trust

Cheating is anything that breaks your partner’s trust, or is something they don’t know about and you’re trying to keep hidden from them. It’s not necessarily just physically having sex with someone else other than your partner that constitutes cheating.

Swingers do that all the time and obviously for them, it’s not cheating. Consider cheating to be anything that you wouldn’t do with your partner around or that your partner doesn’t know about.

Would you have phone sex with someone else with your partner sitting right there? Would you chat with your online sex buddy while your partner was over on the couch watching a movie?

Chances are, you’re doing these things without your partner’s knowledge. It may seem less “bad” than actually having sex with someone else, but all of those things, whether it’s having phone sex or having actual sex, breaks your partner’s trust. So it’s cheating.

Coming Clean

For a relationship to survive, you have to be open and honest with your partner. You can’t hide things from them or continually do things that break their trust. If you do, the relationship will never last. If you care about your partner and truly want to have a fulfilling relationship with them, it’s important to come clean about the cheating.

Let them know what you’re up to. Let them know that you truly care about them and you’re simply fulfilling a need that’s not emotional. Don’t be critical and don’t blame your partner for “making you do this.”

Ask Your Partner How They Feel

It shouldn’t be brought up to your partner in a “you can’t give me what I need but they can” sort of way, because that attitude will only make things worse. Ask your partner how they feel about it. Do they want you to stop? Let them know that if they do, you’re ready to do that.

You might be surprised. They might be open to an online only relationship or phone sex between you and someone else. They might want to become part of it too. Be prepared, however, for your partner to ask you to stop. You should also be prepared to earn back their trust.

Spicing Up Your Sex Life

If your sex life with your partner is lacking, and you’re turning to phone sex or cyber sex to fill the void, consider putting some of this effort into working on your sex life with your partner. Perhaps you two could each take a phone into a different room and have phone sex that way. Your partner might feel more comfortable talking dirty to you this way. Perhaps you can send each other racy emails.

Focus your efforts on making your sex life with your partner work. You’ll be surprised at what a little creativity can do to spice up things in the bedroom!