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The Skinny On Anal Beads

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Anal beads can be an interesting way to spice up anal stimulation, but many people don’t know how to use them. Here’s the downlow.

Women love pearls, necklaces, everything… beaded. So if you choose to introduce her to a different kind of jewelry, one that is meant to give her absolute sexual euphoria, she is not going to say no.

Perfect for the myriad of nerve endings that surround the anus (and for prostate massage, for the willing and experiment bound gentlemen!), anal beads resemble a thread of round shaped pearls (usually five), strung together on a nylon or cotton cord, with a ring or similar handle at the end, designed for pulling. Made of plastic, silicone, rubber, metal or latex, they come in different shapes and sizes, according to desires and needs.

How To Use Anal Beads

  • Lubricate them thoroughly, as well as your partner’s anal opening.
  • If you’re planning to use them also (and I congratulate you if you do), I’d advise you to put them inside of condom, so that you’re not forced to stop and wash them.
  • Also, if they’re threaded on a string (which is porous), they cannot be fully disinfected, no matter how hard you scrub them. The use of a condom is mandatory in the case you two want to play with them together. However, if you don’t like this variant, there’s another one.

Tristan Taormino, in her book, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, recommends using a toy made of a continuous piece of silicone, like Bum Buddies. Insertion and removal of this type of anal beads is smoother (there are no knots to stand in your way) and it is much easier to sterilize. Just boil it in plain water for three minutes.

  • One by one, start to insert them through the anus into the rectum, stopping whenever her sphincter muscles tighten up too much.
  • If she wants a feeling of pressure inside the rectum, you might want to choose bigger sized anal beads.
  • When she is close to orgasm, start removing them continuously, to enhance pleasure. Try various speeds and see to which one she responds best.
  • Some anal beads, like Ready-4-action, are enhanced with vibration technology, for advanced levels of pleasure. Try them!

ATTENTION! When the play is over, don’t forget to count the beads in order to make sure that none has remained trapped down there. If she moves too much or her anal muscles are too active, the thread might end up being torn. If one or two get lost and she can’t push them out naturally, go to the doctor!

You can prevent this by choosing anal beads that are formed together – for example, silicone or hard plastic material that has been poured in a single mold, and the beads are not connected so to speak, but the beads and the connections are all made from the same material and there are no seams or gaps. These are the safest type of anal beads, since there is less of a chance of a bead coming disconnected from the thread, since there is no thread.

Winning Phone Flirting Techniques

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Flirting can be intimidating when you’re on the phone, because you can’t see the other person’s face or read their body language. Here’s how to pull it off.

Remember, flirting on the phone only allows you to use 45 percent of your potential flirting power, so the quicker you end the phone call and see the woman in person, the better.

The best strategy is to create a sense of occupied urgency. This is not manipulative, but rather a favorable situation to end the phone call and allow the attraction to grow by flirting with her in person.

Create A Sense Of Urgency When Flirting On The Phone

Let her know that you don’t have much time to talk because you’re busy. This way the conversation is short, sweet and to the point. Take control of the conversation and direct it towards your intention of seeing her again. Here’s an example of a phone conversation using the occupied and urgent technique:

John: Hey Sarah, how are things?

Sarah: Good.

John: Great, I’m glad I got hold of you. Listen, I don’t have long to talk. I’m just calling to see if you want to get together this Thursday at 5pm for coffee at ___.

Sarah: Sure.

John: Great, I’ll see you Thursday then. See ya Sarah.

Sarah: Bye.

Although this is a very simple conversation, it works. There is no need to talk for longer than a few minutes.

Keeping the phone conversation short shows you have a life and other things to do. Men who linger on the phone until the woman gets bored project that they have nothing better to do than talk all day. And, these women might be doing important things and find you annoying because you’ve kept them from their activities.

Even if the flirting during the first encounter went really well and the woman was attracted to you, by lingering on the phone without flirting you run the risk of her thinking that you faked the first encounter and communicating that it wasn’t the real you.

Of course most conversations won’t be this short, but keep them as close to this guideline as possible. If she starts asking you about your day you can comment, but don’t get into details because before you know it you’ve just used all your “Mr. Interesting” ideas on the phone, rather than during the actual date.

If you want to build some emotion on the phone with flirting, that’s fine. If you decide to talk a little longer, just make sure you end the conversation at the peak of your emotionally intense flirting, and not when you run out of things to say and it dies down.

Woman’s Phone Call Interpretation

HE JUST: Called, invited me on a date and hung up.

SHE INTERPRETS THIS AS: He’s confident, independent, directed and has a life. He’s got other things to do than just talk to me, and even though I wanted him to talk to me longer I respect him more and feel even more attracted to him now.

RESULT: She’s attracted.

Text Messaging

RULE: Never set up dates by text message.

Even if she already shows interest from the message, only send one text message. It saves lots of time. Here’s an example of a back and forth text message battle.

YOU: I’m free Tuesday and Wednesday.

HER: Sorry I’ve already got plans then.

YOU: Ok… What about Monday night next week?

HER: No, but I can do Monday day.

Can you see how frustrating this would be? If she delays before replying to each and every message, this could be a long pointless process. The man would get paranoid and start thinking that the woman is making up excuses not to see him.

This assumption could be completely unfounded, but it is difficult to be sure without hearing her voice. Because you’re limited to words, women can often misinterpret what you’re saying. You might ruin a perfectly good dating opportunity by a stupid misunderstanding.

The Right Way To Do Penetration

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Penetration seems simple enough, right? Wrong! If you penetrate her the wrong way, you can mess up the entire sex act. Here’s how you need to be doing it.

You’ve done the works – the whole nine yards. You’ve been thorough, gentle and moved slow as a turtle on hangover. And now you’ve decided, she’s more than ready. Besides, you can’t take the suspense any longer, your penis made that argument for you 10 minutes ago. It’s time to bring your ship to harbor.

How To Start With Penetration

Post a “Fasten Your Seatbelt” notice by performing SWEEPING maneuvers around the vulva before penetration. Although this is something that can be done anytime you fancy, Sweeping is usually a last minute act before switching gears. What you do is hold your ranting and raving tool at the mouth of her vagina. You have not entered her yet at this point, you’re just having a smoke at the gates.

Hold your penis and sweep it around the vulva. Rub the head of your unit around, moving it in circles, up & down and side-to-side – coaxing the bajingo to let you in. The resulting friction not only makes her want you more, it makes further delays harder to bear.

You may also use the underside of your shaft to rub on her vulva by mimicking thrusting motions. Without actually penetrating – give your woman a real thrill by rubbing her clitoris with the underside of your penis.

The First Moments

Everyone remembers their “firsts.” They are always noteworthy, whether they are for the good or for the bad. Everyone remembers their first kiss, first dates, first date disasters etc. They are “dear diary” moments.

But what we’re talking about here has nothing to do with the night she lost her virginity. Rather, it’s about those first moments in the session when you enter into vaginal territory – that moment when the 1st inch of your jimmy passes from the outside world into her wet ‘n wild world. You know, penetration. For many women, that first vaginal stretch is the most exciting and satisfying part – the BEST slice of the whole penetration process. (But if you’re not gentle, it could also be one of the most arduous things.)

These moments are both physically and psychologically meaningful for your partner. The two of you are officially joined, you are officially inside her. There is an elegant mini-drama in there that captures the phrase “getting into her pants” or the more spiritual “becoming one flesh.”

How To Make It Even Better

Share this episode by giving the lady lots of eye contact. Synchronize both your breathing and you’ll understand what connection means.

Don’t jam the first stroke of enetration. And for that matter, the several ones coming after that. Initially, thrust in a slooow and deliberate manner, as if she’s a virgin all over again – as if it’s her first encounter with Mr. Penis. (There’s always a first time – every time.) Instantly switching to high gear from the sensual style will stun a woman. It’s too fast a transition from laid-back to break back, like being mounted by a 1000 lb bull all of a sudden. That feeling is a bit disconcerting for the woman. Start slow, and gradually build up the speed.

Give her some slow, steady grooves and don’t cheapen penetration by immediately giving her all you’ve got. If you don’t pace yourself, you’ll burn out too early, you’ll orgasm even before you find your rhythm & balance. (What did you really expect?!)

Wild Orgasm Pierced Lover Rabbit Vibrator Review

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The Wild Orgasm Pierced Lover isn’t for the faint of heart, but if you’re looking for WILD orgasms, this sex toy will really do the trick.

The Good

Strong vibrations and dual motors are what make this sex toy tons of fun, and if you’ve been looking for a toy with a “wow!” factor, this one is right up your alley. The rotating beads in the shaft add extra stimulation to the entrance of the vagina, however, where it’s really at is the rotating shaft. This toy doesn’t rotate slightly – it really rotates, stimulating every inch of your sensitive walls and zoning in right on the g-spot.

The clitoral attachment houses a separate bullet vibrator for those strong vibrations you need on the clitoris for an intense orgasm, and one of the best features of the Wild Orgasm Pierced Lover rabbit vibrator is the “tongue ring” at the end of the clitoral attachment. If you’ve ever received oral sex from someone with a tongue piercing, you know just how pleasurable body jewelry can be! Let this unique vibrator satisfy your desires for something more than just “rabbit ears” or “tickling antennae” with it’s hardcore tongue stud and awesome vibrations.

The Bad

Although the material is a TPR (rubber/polymer mixture), this toy looks, feels and smells like a jelly toy. Most jelly materials contain phthalates, which can be dangerous to the body. TPR is said to be phthalate free, but you may want to slip a condom on this bad boy before play. However, since it isn’t crafted from silicone, it’s definitely safe to use with all different types of lube, including both water based lubricants and silicone ones.

The controls are fairly easy to use once you get the hang of it, but you’ll want to check them out before use – they’re not something you can blindly manipulate without first knowing what button does what. Inexperienced users might be overwhelmed by all of the different control options, but with a little practice, it’s really not a big deal.

The toy requires 3 AA batteries, which is a lot of juice for a sex toy. It would be much better if this toy was rechargeable  but it’s not, so make sure you stock up on your batteries. Always have them on hand if you don’t want to run out of power mid-orgasm. You can use rechargeable batteries with this toy, but that does require an investment of the batteries and a recharging dock if you don’t already have them.

The Bottom Line

If you’re looking for a vibrator unlike anything you’ve ever seen before, this is a perfect choice. The Wild Orgasm Pierced Lover is big, bad and delivers intense orgasms for a solo session that has to be experienced to be believed. Well made yet affordable, this is a must have sex toy if you enjoy simultaneous g-spot and clitoral stimulation, or like a “full” feeling during masturbation. You can also have a partner use this on you during foreplay for wet and wild orgasms! Don’t be surprised if the intense shaft rotation and clitoral stimulation make you squirt!

The Full Wild Orgasm Pierced Lover Review

The material washes well, and doesn’t leave behind a super sticky or tacky feeling like some jelly or silicone sex toys. Once you take it out of the box, you will notice that it collects fibers and lint fairly easily, but this washes off easily or can be simply wiped off with a wet cloth. Keep this toy sealed in a plastic Ziploc bag when not in use to keep it clean and like new as long as possible.

The shaft is fairly flexible and although this vibrator appears like it wouldn’t be a good option for beginners, it’s actually not too big once you put some lube on it. Of course, beginners might be a little intimidated by the size and shape of the Wild Orgasm Pierced Lover, so definitely err on the side of caution and choose something smaller or avoid a penetrative vibrator all together.

The texture and ridges on the shaft are soft, and the rotating beads are strong enough to stimulate but aren’t too overwhelming. Although the shaft looks like it might feel a bit too rough, it’s not at all once you slip it in. Most women will notice that the metal ball just under the head of the shaft sits nicely on the g-spot and can induce seriously wet orgasms when the shaft rotates. You can use the Wild Orgasm Pierced Lover with only the shaft rotation and not the clitoral vibration, vice versa or with both. The toy is completely programmable for a customized orgasm experience.

Overall, this is an excellent toy to have if you’re looking for a rabbit vibrator that just has that little something extra.

How To Talk To Her About Sex

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Sex can be a difficult topic to cover in a conversation, but sometimes it’s necessary. Here’s how to discuss sex with a woman the right way.

Probably the most important conversation you can have with your lady about orgasms is the one in which you find out what it is she really likes. The best place to have this conversation is in the bedroom, because if done correctly, you’re going to be doing a lot more than just talking.

Let Her Know You Want Great Sex

After you’ve discussed with your partner your desire to be an even better lover, you then need to explain that to do that you need to experiment a little and find out what she likes. If she’s willing (and most partners probably will be), the next step is to set the mood.

Use foreplay techniques to help her become aroused, then have her stretch out on a comfortable surface, preferably a bed. She should, of course, be completely naked. The next step is for you to explore her body. Move your hands slowly over every inch of her skin. Try different strokes, different movements on each part and take note of the ones, which bring about the most impressive results.

When you’ve explored her exterior, you’re ready to some similar exploring inside her. Try rubbing her clitoris in a variety of patterns. If you have some sex toys, give them a try as well. The idea is to experiment as much as you can to see what makes her feel the best. Encourage your partner to let you know what feels good because that’s the only way you’ll be able to get better. After all of your experimenting, both of you will probably be pretty worked up so take the chance to try out one of the of the positions from the book and see what happens.

How To Get Her To Communicate

When it comes to female orgasms, you and your partner are going to have to open the lines of communication. Even though lots of people have trouble talking about sex in and out of the bedroom, these conversations will provide you with a solid foundation on which to build.

Some sex conversations should be held in the bedroom while you’re both relaxed and aroused. This can make you both less inhibited and more likely to honestly share your secrets. It also makes it easier for the two of you to take things to the next level if those secrets turn you on.

Not all women are comfortable talking about sex. As we’ve said, women vary in how comfortable they are with this subject. If your woman is a little more reserved, don’t push her. Find ways of building trust with her and she will eventually open up to you.

The faked orgasm conversation is one that both of you need to have. By talking about this sensitive subject, you’ll show that you really are the kind of lover your partner wants and needs.

Never, Ever Be Judgmental

Never be judgmental. One important thing to remember when you are sharing sexual secrets is that you cannot be judgmental of her. If you tell her what she’s doing is wrong or bad, then she’s going to feel worse about her own sexuality, close her mind to experimentation, and feel betrayed by you. All of this is going to hinder her ability to reach orgasm with you or her future partners. If you can’t keep your negative opinions to yourself, then you probably shouldn’t be asking her these questions in the first place.