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You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

How To Give Her A Mind Blowing Clitoral Orgasm

By loveandsex

An orgasm is the icing on the cake when it comes to sex for a woman. Give her clitoris lots of attention during sex and she’ll be putty in your hands!

The three stages of building an incredible orgasm with her clitoris are as follows:

  1. Early Goings (Disarming)
  2. The Build-Up Stage
  3. On the Edge

Let’s talk about stages 1 & 3 first. Notice the clear distinction between stimulation in the Early Goings and On the Edge.

Early Goings vs. On The Edge Of Orgasm

In the Early Goings, don’t be overly intent on the clitoris itself – instead, pay attention to the areas surrounding it – they’re gold. In some cases, the surroundings may even be more sensitive than her bud.

And when you do come to provoking the clit itself, start off with soft, slow, palm, indirect (via clitoral hood) stimulation. It’s gentle & sweet, disarming but exciting. This settles her down but also creates an expectant eagerness for things to come.

Clearly, a different set of stimulation is required when she’s on the edge, you have to do better than gentle and sweet if you’re going to push her all the way. Stage 3 requires harder, faster and more direct stimulation – a far cry from the innocent, slow maneuverings at the onset.

The Build Up Stage

It means a progressive increase in stimulation. Soft becomes a bit harder, slow gets a bit faster, the palm soon becomes the fingers, and indirect is replaced by direct confrontation. This increases the sexual tension flooding her brain.

During Stage 2, you’ll hear sighs turn into moans, with her body beginning to writhe in exquisite pleasure. She’ll begin squirming seriously as she’s feeling hotter and more thrilled by the second. You’ll hear panting as her pulse shots triple time. If you’ve really done well, tiny beads of sweat will perceptibly well out. She’ll start gyrating with your hands, her pelvis moving to get as much action going. Her eyes will almost always be closed, she will even forget that you exist!

How does one actually go about stage 2?

This is the time to invest in the push & the pull.

That means you start from slow and begin to go faster. From light, you go harder. Pulling is when you tone down and go the other way.

So for example, instead of a continuous, rhythmic stimulation, you might STOP for a few seconds. Resume, and then stop again. The pull is the harder of the two, because it’s as if you’re purposely squandering what has been gained, wandering away from the goal. But know that this is as vital as the push.

Instead of increasing pressure on the clitoris, you slacken a bit and take it easy for a while. Then increase pressure again. Instead of going faster, ease off and coast along. Then build up speed again. Remember, teasing always comes in pairs – the push and the pull – bringing her down and bringing her up to an even more scintillating height.

This naturally takes more time, but this is definitely a worthwhile investment.

Getting Closer

Now, this is the point where I want to make something very clear: As she gets closer to orgasm, gradually phase out the teasing.

That means the longer you are into the process, the pauses, breaks and easing off become shorter in span and less in frequency. There comes a point when the teasing entirely disappears and you simply bring your woman to orgasm without bringing her down. The pull becomes useless at some point, you simply go forward and never look back.

That means you become more aggressive with the clit, giving it faster and harder provocations. You increasingly focus on it until you deal with it exclusively – never giving it rest and forsaking the rest of her body. A few seconds of this type of stimulation and she will orgasm, big time.

Of course, it will be your call when to do away with teasing altogether. I can’t tell you exactly when to do this. Gauge her and decide.

After her first blow, unlike men, she doesn’t dive to non-arousal – she remains horny still although she is quite sensitive. It really becomes easy to usher in those multiple orgasms because after she starts exploding, she can keep going as each subsequent orgasm get easier.

After she cums, this is what you do: Leave her clitoris alone for a minute or two and do something else. Her clit gets extra-sensitive after an orgasm, just as the head of your penis gets extra-vulnerable after ejaculation. (By the way, this is not a refractory period, women don’t have them.) After a minute or two, simply reinstate the last thing you were doing that pushed her off, and keep at it.

Not long after, she will orgasm again.

Many guys never discover the multi-orgasmic capacity of their woman simply because they don’t give her a second shot. While a soulful climax may be enough for a lot of couples, know that both of you can opt for more.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips

How To Introduce Sex Toys To A Woman

By loveandsex

Sex toys can rev up your sex life, but introducing them isn’t always an easy task. How do you bring them in the bedroom without scaring her off?

When you and your partner first started dating, if your first introduction to her bedroom brought you face to face with a bed full of stuffed dolls, your first reaction might have been to run. Women have a similar reaction when men whip out their sexual implements; including toys, lube or specialized condoms. If you haven’t already shared your collection, make sure to follow these simple rules of etiquette first.

Show Your Cards

When things get hot and heavy and you reach for the drawer next to your bed, you may encounter some resistance. Why? If you’ve got a treasure trove of lubes, condoms, toys and vibrators hidden away, it could give the wrong first impression. Most women will already know if you’ve had other partners, but they probably don’t want to be reminded of it in the heat of the moment. Besides, having everything ready at your fingertips will let her on to the fact that you planned for sex, which in the first stages of a new relationship could dampen that “heat of the moment” sort of feeling.

So what’s a guy to do? Be prepared, but don’t pull out the big guns for a while. Use your favorite brand of condom and keep everything else, other than any necessary all-purpose lube, to yourself. After you’ve been together for a while and you’ve shared a handful of intimate experiences, feel free to delve into the toy arena. Just don’t make a big scene about the fact that you’ve used the sex toys with someone else.

Be Aware Of Health Concerns With Sex Toys

This leads to a discussion about sex toys and health concerns. One of the most important accessories in your ‘toy box’ should be a cleaner specifically created for sex toys, and you should use it each and every time you lug them out of their hiding place. Although some movies and TV shows talk about putting your sex toys in the dishwasher, it is a really a bad idea for most materials. Dishwasher water can be too hot, and might break down the material of many an expensive toy in just a few washes. Of course, nothing with batteries or moving parts should ever go into the dishwasher anyway, but you already knew that.

Instead, get a lint-free cloth and a bottle of toy cleaner to keep it on hand. Spray the liquid into the towel, and wipe off every crevice and curve possible. Rinse it with water and let it dry a few hours before putting it away. Most sex shops carry one or two different brands of cleaner, and you want one specifically made for a woman’s very gentle vaginal area; that means unscented and hypoallergenic. In a pinch, soapy water will usually do, but be careful not to submerge anything electric!

Another easier, albeit more expensive form of clean-up is to use condoms on any of your sex toys that will come in contact with either of your body fluids. You will still want to give them a quick wipe down with a damp cloth when you’re done, but most of the clean-up is already taken care of when you whip the latex off.

I should mention as well that all rubber and jelly sex toys are impossible to sterilize. You can clean them even with bleach but proper sterilization is impossible because of their physical makeup. Both hot water and bleach will actually break them down, so that they become unusable with time. That means that if you plan on using jelly or rubber sex toys on more than one person, or if there is both anal and vaginal use in play, you will be putting your partner at risk unless you insist on using a condom.

Filed Under: Sex Toys Tagged With: better sex, dildo, female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips, Sex Toys, vibrator

Should You Schedule A Date Night?

By loveandsex

A date night could easily be the missing ingredient to your relationship. So many men and women find themselves distanced from their partners after a long week. Most of the time couples deal with a stressful week by unwinding in front of the television or heading out with friends. This is normal, especially when you’re in a long term relationship, but it’s not necessarily a good thing.

While sitting in front of the TV might be relaxing for some, this doesn’t exactly help out the relationship. A date night can be a welcome surprise and bring that spark back between the two of you. There are several reasons that you might need to schedule a date night. Some couples believe that having to schedule a date night means that there is a problem in the relationship. However, this is not necessarily true. Here are a few reasons that you should actively schedule a date night.

You’re On The Books

A date night will put something on the books. It shows your guy that you are committed to spending time with him and it shows you that he is committed to spending time with you. When you put something on the books you have made the commitment and you should not back out of it. Some people make empty promises to their partners in the vein of “Yeah, we’ll head to dinner some time this week or something.” This kind of phrasing and ambiguousness doesn’t really put confidence into the relationship. Scheduling a date night will lock them down without dispute, giving both a time and place to spend some much needed quality time together.

Work Schedules

There are instances where people have very demanding jobs. This is becoming more and more of an issue, because people are working long hours simply to make ends meet and pay the bills. Just because you have a demanding job doesn’t mean that you can’t have a great relationship. You don’t have to sacrifice one for the other. In the event that you do have a demanding job, scheduling a date night might be needed. There are times when jobs require insane amounts of overtime.

If you or your partner has a demanding job then you should consider scheduling a date night so you do not schedule anything in its place by accident. Just because you have to schedule a date night doesn’t mean that you don’t care about the relationship. It simply means that you have other obligations and responsibilities that must be tended to.

You Have Something To Look Forward To

The day to day activities of life can easily make it mundane. Monday turns to Tuesday, which turns to Wednesday and you’re doing the same thing over and over again. When you schedule a date night with your partner, you have something to look forward to. You have something that will make your week go by a little faster and you can put up with some of the monotony until you reach the coveted night. Consider date ideas and think about what you want to do or what you want to eat. These can help you get excited about the date and forget about the pressures of work and family if for just a second.

Reservations

If you’re taking your partner to a romantic, high end restaurant, scheduling a date night is essential. Some restaurants require reservations up to a week in advance depending on how popular they are. If you schedule a date night then you can get a reservation way before the good times fill up. Getting into a trendy restaurant the day of can be a challenge.

Even if you can get a reservation it might not be at the time that you want. If you are going to a movie, a play or you have another event planned, having a reservation at the best time possible will work to your advantage.

A Date Night Can Breathe New Life Into A Relationship

Remember back to the time that you first started dating your partner? Do you remember how it felt to get dressed up and go out on the town? How he or she made you feel special because you had then on your arm? You can still have that feeling when you schedule a date night with your partner.

Schedule a date night and then go out and buy a new dress or dress shirt for the occasion. Watch how your partner’s eyes light up when they see you in your new outfit. Whether you have been working too hard or the relationship has felt a little distant lately, having a date night can easily bring the two of you back together again.

Filed Under: Dating Tips Tagged With: date ideas, Dating Tips, Relationship Advice

Why She Fakes Orgasm And How To Get Her To STOP!

By loveandsex

An orgasm is easy for some girls to fake, and fake it they do for various reasons. This can really hamper your sex life. Here’s how to get her to stop.

A woman is sexiest during those precious few seconds when she has an orgasm. But, did she REALLY, or was it something else?

Here’s news for you – if you’re not a virgin, chances are, you’ve been faked a couple of times. You can accept that and be a little easy on yourself, or you can continue on the path of denial. “Oh, she came man, I swear she really did!”

Whatever!

Did She Actually Fake Her Orgasm?

I’m saying that IT happens and you most probably have been an unwitting recipient – that’s just how the cookie crumbles. A lot, and I mean A LOT of women fake pleasure and orgasms, they’ve done it for millennia, and they’re quite excellent at it. They own it! They own the character, and have all the moans, whines and pelvic thrusts down to an art. They know exactly how to flutter those dreamy eyes – all in the name of “Let’s get this over with.”

Oh, those women! They deserve an Emmy on a nightly basis. ($200 says you’ve fallen for it a few times.)

Of course, men play a part in this grand conspiracy. With their lame moves and misguided notions of great sex, how can guys expect a woman to orgasm? And it doesn’t take much effort from a tired woman to make any guy believe he’s the king of the world. I mean, how hard is it to ooohh and ahhhh? Even a drunken, demented kitty can do that. Women are amazed at how easy it is to fool guys, most can’t tell the difference between a screaming elephant and a faking woman.

Not only that it’s easy, the motivation for faking is pretty high. Imagine a sleepy woman, with a numb vagina, expecting to drive two hours across state for a big meeting first thing in the morning. Think about her motivations to fake her clueless stud.

She won’t likely school him into an all-night discussion on how to do her. She’ll simply get into a moaning routine, a little thrust of the pelvis here and there, a little swing of her head from side-to-side then BINGO! Some peace finally.

Why She Really Does It

Granted that it’s so easy, so tempting, and more than being sleepy & bored, why do women fake orgasm? Why?

It’s because there is pressure on all sides to have an orgasm.

First of all, men expect their woman to cum – yes, even at totally sub-par methods. No matter how shallow it may be, making a woman reach her peak gives us a sense of accomplishment. “I made her orgasm. Ha!”

Failing to do so causes the opposite emotion and strikes a blow to male ego. He’s lost – no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, it seemed to have no effect on her. In our “Who’s Your Daddy?” world where men bet their masculinity not only on the number of women they bag, but on the number of orgasms they give, a woman’s climax can be a pretty big deal.

So women, bless their souls, fake to protect men’s egos – especially for the man they care about and the man who pays the bills. The choice to fake is easy to make. They want their man to feel like The Man. As one woman would comment, “Men like it when they think they’re in control.”

But this is no altruistic act.

Women also fake it for their sakes. Besides the fact that they want the poking to end, and their heads have nudged the headboard too many times to recall, women also bet their femininity on orgasms.

When she fails to climax, she not only blames his small penis but also her defective equipment. Why couldn’t she orgasm? Something must be wrong with her! Women could easily blame their bodies, treating it as if they have an anatomical problem. “My clitoris must have been broken from overuse during my early years.”

So she fakes it – not only for the man but also for her sake. There are in fact times when she doesn’t know if she really had an orgasm or not. It felt good, but it wasn’t a definitive orgasm, she wasn’t sure. “I sort of came.” When this happens, she often consciously decides that she did indeed came, and so leave both the man and herself secured.

How To Avoid Getting Faked

If you’re asking for a definitive method so you can be 1000% sure that your lady came, there is nothing of that sort. Nobody is under any messianic delusion to make every woman cum every time, or spot every faker on the face of this earth.

Sure, there are signs of an orgasming woman. But know that all these things can be faked, yes, even the very contractions of the vaginal walls. You can’t avoid getting faked! Quit making it your night job to catch fakers. If you do catch her, then what?!

Instead – learn, practice and master how to effect powerful orgasms. Run with what you’ve learned in this series and trust that women won’t need to fake with you. As you develop better sexual skills, you’ll realize that spotting fakes becomes a useless affair.

The woman has, of course, a say on this – you can only do so much. If she does fake you, then it’s one less orgasm for her. She’s got more reasons to worry than you. But if she’s honest, then you two could begin an interesting journey of discovery, learning each other’s ropes. No matter how bumpy the ride is at first, through clear communication, the ball can start rolling.

As a final word, why don’t you do something very sensible. Stop tying your self esteem and masculinity with the number of orgasms you give. Secure your self-esteem somewhere else – where it’s more stable, not tossed to and fro depending on an evening’s performance.

How ludicrous it is to let one’s sense of worth hang on something that doesn’t even last more than 20 seconds.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips

Sexting: Why “Dirty Texts” Turn Women On Like Crazy

By loveandsex

Sexting your partner is one of the most powerful ways you can get her hot and ready for sex. Sexting is an easy way to speak the language of a woman, and it’s convenient because you can do it anywhere and anytime. Sending your lover a racy text takes very little effort on your part, but the results are absolutely astounding! Check out how you can send your girl a “racy text” and have her all over you by the time you walk through the front door after work.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyoRYSuoLFY[/youtube]

Women Are Wired Differently Than Men

It’s pretty obvious that women are wired differently than men, especially when it comes to what turns them on. Men are visual creatures and respond sexually to visual stimuli, including porn videos and pictures of naked women. However, a woman usually can’t look at a picture of a naked man with muscled arms and six pack abs. While looking great is always going to be a check in the plus column for you, it’s not going to be something that immediately turns your woman on. What will get a girl hot though is language. To effectively get a woman thinking about sex and nothing but sex, you’ve got to engage her brain. This is why sexting is so effective for women – it gets their imagination going. It’s like if she wore sexy lingerie for you – when you sext her, you speak her language. In the old days, to get a girl interested in him, guys had to write love letters and poetry for women. Now, we have technology that helps streamline communication between one person and another.

Using Sensual Language

When sexting your partner, you can use sensual language to get your partner horny with just the push of a few buttons – no matter where you are or what you’re doing! This is exactly what makes sexting so powerful. You can have your girl clawing at your clothes as soon as you walk in the door, all from the sensual sexts you sent her on her lunch break. Depending on how racy you want to be, you can send her texts that are sweet, sensual and full of romance or you can send her texts that tell her what exactly – word for word – you’re going to do to her when you get home. You can start sweet and gradually increase the raciness of your texts to sweep her off her feet and then get her so hot she won’t know what to do with herself.

She’ll Never Leave Home Without It

Think about it – a woman will rarely ever leave the house without two things – her lipgloss and her cell phone. These days, just about every girl uses a cell phone! Her cell phone is precious to her, because she keeps her most personal and private information in there including her friends, her family, her contacts and her pictures. By sexting her, you’re connecting with your partner in one of the most private ways. It creates a type of “secret” sexual connection that only you and her share. It blows through all of your lover’s defenses, hitting her right at the center. The majority of ladies really enjoy the idea of getting to be secretly naughty in public, especially when they’re supposed to be “proper” and “professional.” Sexting is also a great way to break the ice when getting into dirty talk in the bedroom. If you’ve never tried it before, sexting is a great way to introduce yourself!

Stop Texting And Start Sexting

To effectively create this “secret” sensual channel between you and your lover, you need to stop texting her completely and send only racy texts when you want to. Don’t text “to do” lists or what time the dog has an appointment at the vet’s the next day. This will actually ruin the whole stigma you’re trying to create with sexting. When you do this and she feels her phone vibrate for a message, she’ll already be expecting something exciting and titillating. She’ll know before she opens her phone that it’s from you and it’s something secretly kinky! She’ll start looking forward to it and start wondering when it’s going to happen and what the texts are going to say. She’ll also get better at sending you sexy texts back, telling you what she wants to do to you! This is such a super hot way to think about each other during a boring, monotonous work day. Try sexting your partner tonight and watch as the sparks fly!

Filed Under: Sexting & Phone Sex Tagged With: sex tips, sexting

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