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What To Do When He Ejaculates During A Handjob

By loveandsex

A handjob will hopefully end in your lover ejaculating – but what do you do with his semen? Here’s how to handle it when your man has an orgasm during a handjob.

You’ve made it through the hard part – getting your partner up to the point where an orgasm is imminent. Here, you can do a couple things. You can relinquish your partner’s penis back to him and allow him to finish the job. Some couples will choose to let the man finish himself off while she concentrates on his testicles and perineum. If you are an oral sort of gal, men LOVE to have their balls licked and sucked as they masturbate.

Take Him Through The Orgasm

A more popular approach is to help your partner through his ejaculation by performing his favorite strokes and continuing to give him pleasure through his entire orgasm. Don’t make the mistake of stopping the handjob as soon as he begins to ejaculate. Continue your strokes until he begins to pull away. Most men “squirt” out close to ten times when they are having an orgasm. A few significant squirts followed by some very minor ones.

Think about it as an earthquake with a few aftershocks. The euphoric feelings that accompany the ejaculation might last a couple of seconds up to 30 seconds or more. The more you stroke, the longer he’ll come. Don’t cheat him out of any of those precious seconds.

Where Does The Semen Go?

Most of the time, women will let their partner’s ejaculate on their hands. You can keep one hand on the head of his penis while he has an orgasm (this is very pleasurable) and let his semen bubble over your fingers like a volcano, or you can keep your hands on the shaft of your partner’s penis and watch how high his eruptions will go!

If you are uncomfortable with having your partner’s semen on your hands, you can use gloves or you can hold a towel, washcloth or tissue over his urethra just as he is about to ejaculate to catch the semen. Any way you and your partner choose to handle the orgasm is fine – as long as you both are comfortable and enjoy it.

Men Love To Watch

Most men are highly turned on by you being excited (or at least fascinated) by his ejaculation. We like for you to see our eruptions as amazing or thrilling and not “gross”. We want to see wonder in your eyes as we shoot as high or far as far as we can (men are competitors by nature). Here is how one of my readers expressed it: “I want you to watch me and my manhood as I proudly throb and shoot jets of splooge for all to see! Don’t turn away, or block the squirts… sharing the full ejaculation experience with you is HOT!”

Another turn on for men is to ejaculate onto you. On your breasts, your stomach or even youth mouth if you are so willing. Again, we are very visual and marrying the erotic act of ejaculation with a visual image of your nakedness is something that fuels our sexual fires.

Letting Him Take The Reins

Depending where he wants to shoot his load, you may need to do a hand off to him in the final moments. He just might want you on your hands and knees so he can shoot all over your back and rump. Just find a way to communicate this before it is too late. But, if he comes before the plan is fulfilled, you can look forward to trying it next time.

Handing off to him to masturbate has other advantages to you and him. He can finish off really strong (he’s had a lot of practice), aim it where he wants it and you can enjoy seeing him fully enjoying himself.

There might be times where you are unable to bring him to climax with your hands. Even seasoned masturbators have times when they are unable to bring themselves to orgasm. So don’t sweat it. As you give him more and more handjobs you’ll learn the subtle nuances that tend to take him over the edge.

I’ll tell you what will almost certainly take him to his peak if you can’t seem to get him to erupt. Sit facing him, spread your legs wide, part your labia and finger yourself to orgasm. Mutual masturbation is near the top of most men’s fantasy lists. It is an explosive way to finish off a handjob session.

For clean up, you might want to have some baby wipes on hand or a very special touch is to bring in a warm, wet washcloth and wipe him clean. Or perhaps he or both of you were planning on showering afterwards.

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: ejaculation, handjob, male orgasm, masturbation, orgasm, penis

Why Some Women Hate Giving Head

By loveandsex

Oral sex isn’t something every woman just loves to give. There are a great deal of women out there that really don’t like going down on their partners. Most of the time, this is due to the fact that a lot of women rate a man’s genitals slightly above insects in terms of things they want coming in contact with their mouths. However, there are actually plenty of reasons a woman might not be so enthusiastic about giving her lover oral sex.

It’s Condescending To Women

It’s true that oral sex on a man is a form of sexual submission for a woman, or it at least can be viewed as such. However, many girls feel as though this type of submission is condescending to women. Oral sex in and of itself is not condescending towards women, but of course, a man’s attitude while he’s getting a blowjob has everything to do with how the girl feels while she’s going down on him. If he’s acting like he deserves the blowjob, that he’s controlling her or if he acts condescending towards her in any way during the blowjob, that’s how she’s going to perceive it.

However, men that treat receiving oral sex as a gift and treat the woman giving it with respect and love, she isn’t going to feel as though he expects it or is looking down on her for doing it. If you’ve had a bad past experience with men treating you poorly during oral sex, don’t assume that it’s because the act itself is condescending towards women. It’s more likely that the partner you were giving head to had a bad attitude about it.

It Smells & It’s Dirty

The far majority of women who don’t like going down on a man feel this way because they view a man’s genitals as dirty and gross. While both female and male genitals have their own distinct odors, if your lover keeps his undercarriage clean, there shouldn’t be too much of an issue here as far as smell and taste goes. Many women, however, have had a bad experience going down on a man who hasn’t bothered to wash his genitals thoroughly or at all, leaving her with an unsavory memory of oral sex. Rest assured that this is not always the case!

Many men are very vigilant about their genital hygiene, especially if they suspect or know that they’ll be receiving oral sex at some point during the day or evening. If your man doesn’t pay much attention to cleanliness, that doesn’t mean that you have to forgo giving him the gift of a blowjob – there are many things you can do during foreplay to get him cleaned up, such as incorporating a sexy shower beforehand so you’re both fresh, clean and ready for action.

He Doesn’t Give Her Oral Sex, Why Should She Do It For Him?

Many guys drop the ball when it comes to giving a woman oral sex, which can be frustrating for girls. It can seem like a man expects it, but won’t give it out in return – which can definitely make a woman feel resentful about giving him head. There are a lot of reasons a man won’t go down on a woman, from being sensitive to her scent to not even being aware of the fact that she craves oral sex too. Regardless of the reasons, it doesn’t help the relationship any for a woman to withhold going down on her man just because he doesn’t do it for her.

The fastest way to get a man to reciprocate is to give him an enthusiastic blowjob! He might not respond right away, but be patient and enjoy the fact that you’re pleasuring him. Communicate with him about what he likes and let him know that you’d like a little oral pleasure too – and make sure you’re clean and well groomed down there. Once he sees how excited you are about giving him oral sex, he’ll likely be so turned on, he’ll want to go down on you too!

It’s Too Hard To Keep From Gagging

If a man is particularly well endowed, it’s likely the head of his penis will aggravate his partner’s gag reflex and cause her to gag or even vomit in worst case scenarios, especially if she’s not skilled or practiced at relaxing her throat. This happens most often, however, when a man is aggressive during a blowjob and holds her head down onto his penis or bucks his hips so that his penis is shoved further down her throat. If a woman is in total control while she’s giving head, she can easily back off or stop all together when she feels like gagging, stimulating him with her hands while she regains her composure.

If she’s in control, she may not even get to the point where she’s gagging, because she can control the depth and angle of his penetration. If your partner gets too aggressive during oral sex, explain to him why you want to be in control. Let him know that you want him to relax and let you please him totally! If you make the conversation about him and his pleasure (and how it will be better for him if he backs off and lets you do your thang), he’ll likely be exceptionally receptive to letting go and letting you take the reins.

It’s Difficult To Get And Stay Comfortable

It’s not easy to get comfortable during oral sex and it’s even more difficult to stay that way. You can get cramps in your neck, back or wrists from holding yourself up while going down on him. Finding the right oral sex position is essential to staying comfortable and giving head for extended periods of time without experiencing discomfort. This will take some experimenting – you may not find the right position right away, but as you continue to try different oral sex positions, you’ll learn which ones cause you more discomfort and which ones allow you to have more stamina.

He Doesn’t Let Her Know What He Likes (And She Thinks She’s Doing It Wrong)

Most guys don’t know how to communicate well at all, let alone communicate what they like during sex. Many guys enjoy getting head so much that they revert into their own little worlds, forgetting to make any noise or movement. Most men won’t tell a woman what feels good and what doesn’t, which can be really frustrating for her! She’ll wonder if she’s doing anything right, and she’ll switch techniques too fast in an effort to find something he actually responds to.

This actually makes the situation much worse – he may like what she’s doing, but if he doesn’t respond to it, she’s going to switch too quickly, without allowing him time to build towards an orgasm. This actually makes the blowjob terrible – so his lack of communication actually makes her fears and concerns about not being any good at oral sex realized.

Communicate with your lover and let him know how important it is for him to communicate with you during a blowjob, even if it’s just moans and groans. Let him know that it is crucial that he let you know what he likes and what he doesn’t, so you can tailor your oral sex skills specifically to what feels good for him. It may take him several tries to open up to you, but be sure to never judge him or be critical of him for what he likes or how he chooses to tell you he likes it.

Be sure to do your best to read his body language and once you both get the hang of it, he won’t have to tell you what he likes anymore and you won’t be afraid you’re doing it wrong – you’ll be confident you’re absolutely ROCKING his world!

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, fellatio, oral sex, sex tips

Fisting For Beginners

By loveandsex

Fisting is an intense, overwhelming, and challenging experience for any couple, and is definitely not for everyone. Putting the entire hand inside the vaginal cavity is possible; the vagina is made to stretch to fit a crowning baby. The size of your hands and the elasticity of your wife’s vagina, however, will be determining factors when assessing your ability to explore this activity, perhaps more so than your wife’s willingness.

If you are brand new to the intricacies of fingering, don’t start with fisting. Take your time to learn and enjoy fingering itself, because this will help increase her ability to accommodate your whole hand. Women tend to be deeper and more accommodating, and their cervix softer and more receptive to touch, when they are fertile. Try to schedule your time during this window each month for best results.

Oil & Lube

For this kind of intense stretching and stimulation, lots of lube is required. Don’t forget that you can prepare ahead of time by having different lubes on hand, such as water based and silicone or flavored, to make the experience more enjoyable.

Massage Her Vagina Slowly First

Focus especially, but not exclusively, on the rear wall of the vagina and the perineum. If your wife has given birth before, you may have been taught this technique already, as a method to help prevent tearing during the birthing process.

You have nothing so dire to worry about while fisting, unless your hands are the size of newborns, but the massage will help to improve her body’s ability to stretch and fit around you without undue pain.

Loosen Up

When the two of you have decided that it’s time to give fisting a try, set aside a few hours of your day. Yes, hours. This is no wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sort of affair. Fisting takes time to work up to and to come down from, so plan accordingly.

The most effective way to loosen the vagina is orgasm, as the muscles release during the refractory period, so the best candidate for fisting is a multi-orgasmic woman with excellent control of her PC muscles.

Start out with only as many fingers as can comfortably fit inside her, even if it is only one or two. Make your way around the entire circumference of her vaginal wall, starting at the opening and then circling deeper inside her. Try to thrust gently, while massaging the vaginal walls, in this same circular motion.

Stay In the Game

It is important that your wife maintain a certain level of excitement and arousal during the process, to ensure it is enjoyable and she stays relaxed. Make sure she breathes deeply into her belly even when she is very turned on and breathing very rapidly. Don’t forget to keep stimulating her while you’re working on stretching.

Only put in as many fingers as is comfortable, and don’t force anything. Make sure you ask her to let you know by using the safe word if she experiences any discomfort, and back off a little bit whenever she does. You may not make it in during your first time, or even on the third occasion you attempt it in earnest, so you should be sure to remember you are both there to enjoy the ride, not the destination.

Thumbing A Ride

When it comes time to add your third finger, forget about your ring and pinkies for a while. Turn your hand so your wrist faces up, with your thumb on top, and slide these two fingers down along her perineum. The three inserted digits – index finger, middle finger and thumb – should form a triangle that flares out toward your hand.

When you add your fourth finger – the ring finger – it’s time to move the thumb back a bit. This will elongate your fingers, but lessen the circumference of your knuckles a bit. Your thumb should rest in the center of your middle finger, and should be flanked by your index and ring fingers on either side, forming a diamond shape with your thumb a bit further back than the rest. Keep your pinkie out of the way as you continue to stretch her.

If you are able to work all the way up to the fifth finger, just slide the thumb back a bit further, to where the middle finger meets the palm. Keep your index and ring fingers turned in a bit, on top of the middle finger, in the same diamond formation as before, and place your pinkie on top of your ring finger.

This position helps you to keep the circumference of your hand fairly small, keep your thumb tucked away so it doesn’t catch on anything inside, and keep the tips of your fingers close together so you don’t inadvertently bump her cervix too hard, which can be painful for many women.

Twister

Once you’ve reached her maximum capacity – whether that is two, three, four or all five fingers – don’t just start trying to thrust away. She will feel incredibly full, and too much thrusting may push her over the edge too hard and too fast.

Instead, try focusing on twisting back and forth for most of the stimulation. Your twisting need not be forceful. If your twist until the knuckle of your middle finger is facing up on the front wall of her vagina where her G-Spot is, with your thumb stimulating the back wall, just a slight rocking from side to side should be enough to produce incredible orgasms.

When She Comes

She may not need any movement at all for this to feel good, so you may instead want to focus your other hand and tongue on pleasuring her clitoris directly. Be sure to add a bit of lube to your hand, here and there, as you work up to fisting and orgasm.

Keeping her wet and slick is the best way to ensure an enjoyable experience for everyone. Don’t be surprised! You will feel some potentially powerful clenching when she comes, so don’t freak out. Stop moving and just let her muscles push you out and pull you in, until she has been completely sated. Don’t try to pop your hand out all at once; take your time. Ease your way out slowly.

Keep in mind that she will be very sensitive, and probably a bit tender, for a few days afterwards. If you are expecting to have intercourse with her, you should do that before you start fisting, and give her at least a day or two to rest afterward, unless she says that is not required.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, fetish, fisting, kink, kinky sex, sexual fantasies

How To Turn Her Into A Nasty, Naughty Girl

By loveandsex

Kinky sex can be so much fun, but many women aren’t into it. Here’s how you can get your partner to LOVE kinky sex – and practically beg for it!

Relationships are not sustained by sex alone. However, having great sex with your girlfriend or wife is a giant plus. If your girl is not the most experienced in the bedroom or she isn’t very confident with her abilities to please you, you are probably wondering how your sex life can improve.

Women that have high inhibitions or get embarrassed easily can make for very boring lovers. If your girl isn’t willing to experiment as much as you would like to, there are a few things that you can do to bring out her nasty, naughty side.

Improve Your Emotional Relationship First

There are so many people who talk about sex advice without getting to the root cause of why the partner is not willing to experiment in the bedroom. The number one reason that your girlfriend or wife is not willing to get down and dirty with you is because she is probably feeling stressed or overwhelmed by the relationship. If you are having problem in the bedroom, you can bet that there is something wrong outside the bedroom.

Talk to your girl about what is going on and arrange for more time together if needed. Simply taking your girl out for a date night more often or picking up around the house can lead to better sex and better communication.

Find Out What She Likes

So many guys instantly want to do what they like in bed. Whether you have a thing for role playing or dominant behavior, remember that it’s not about you. A lot of guys assume that what they find is hot during sex is universal. If your girlfriend or wife is not very vocal during sex or does not initiate sex, they are probably submissive.

This isn’t always true so you will need to know what they like. You could be in for a surprise. Some girls are waiting for their guys to take control. If this is something that will get her hot, then all you have to do is ask. If she’s not vocal about what she likes then she could also be embarrassed by her fantasies. Ask her to share her fantasies with you so the both of your can work on having better sex.

Build Comfort

The comfort level between the two of you should be excellent. If your girlfriend or wife does not feel comfortable around you or in bed, she is not going to open up and become the nasty, naughty girl that you want. Try using trust building exercises or simply talk about what she finds hot. Letting her know that you’re not going to judge her based on her sexual fantasies is essential. If your relationship is just starting out, she will probably find it hard to trust you right from the start.

However, even a lifelong relationship such as a marriage is not devoid of potential embarrassment. Try sharing some of your fantasies with her in order to get her to open up. Discuss what she wants without judgment or embarrassment so she knows that she’s in good hands.

Don’t Give Up

Like a relationship, all sex lives take work. If you don’t get it right the first time, don’t get discouraged. There are a lot of couples who have to constantly work on intimacy, sex and other aspects of their relationship. The only way that you will fail with turning your girl into the nasty, naughty girl of your dreams is to give up. You might be in for the long haul so gear up. If she gets embarrassed halfway through her fantasy, make it a point to not force her into anything. If she wants to stop, let her stop.

Use Sex Toys & Other Adult Items

Sex toys, pornography and costumes are all part of the fantasy. If you really want to turn your girl into the nasty, naughty girl of your dreams, you going to have to bring in some help every once in a while. Buy her a new vibrator or dildo. Put on a costume that you know she will like.

Do a little role playing. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you take it to the next level. You going to have to build the relationship up until she feels comfortable and turned on by the situations or positions that the two of you perform. Sex toys are the easiest way to get her there. Take a trip to the adult store and find something you both like.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: better sex, kink, kinky sex, sex tips, Sex Toys

3 Simple Steps To Orgasmic Anal Sex

By loveandsex

Anal sex can be fun, naughty and super hot if you do it right. Here are three easy ways to make sure your anal sex experience is completely incredible!

1. Start With Just The Tip Of Your Penis

Once she’s lubed up and ready to go, start by inserting just the tip of the penis. First, press your penis against the anus, applying pressure. Slowly slide the tip up to the first joint. Stay still. You’ll feel the ring of muscles around the anus tighten and relax. Don’t move your penis, just let the muscles work.

When they relax again, remove it slowly and then insert it again. Tell her to try and open her anus by pushing her anal muscles outward while you penetrate. She should also make sure she’s breathing deeply during the insertion.

Using just the tip is a way to tease and build arousal before further penetration or engulfment. You can explore this with slow or quick movements, and everything in between. Try different angles and sex positions to find out how this feels best for both of you.

2. Move Gradually And Slowly

Gradually working your way to full penetration is a much more skilful and exciting way to approach this. Thus you increase sexual tension, get your energies and emotions more in touch with each other, and delight in the subtleties of the bouquet of sensations. Going slow and gradual also creates a sense of safety, which helps immensely with arousal and lubrication for women, providing a much more luscious experience for you both.

Advance centimeter by centimeter, slowly pulling out and pulling in after each move forward. Don’t go all the way in at first, in fact, many people don’t ever go all the way in. It all depends on her response, naturally.

3. Begin To Go Faster (When She’s Ready!)

If she’s not tired or resistant and she wants you in completely, grab the chance. Once you’re all in, stand motionless for a few seconds, giving the muscles time to relax and become accustomed with their foreign guest. After they do, it’s time you surrender yourself to the dance of thrusting motions.

However, keep in mind that the anus is not the vagina’s twin sibling, and go at it with careful consideration, paying attention to how her body responds. Hard action isn’t for everybody; she must be emotionally and physically ready for that kind of sex play.

Hot Tip: Experiment with the penis in the anus and a thumb or a sex toy in the vagina. Double orgasm is on the menu!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, better sex, female orgasm, lube, orgasm, sex tips

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