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What All Guys Should Know About The Clitoris

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A girl’s clitoris is a complex yet fascinating sexual organ, one that provides many comparisons to your penis! While containing a similar shaft, with many differences in regards to how it looks and where it’s placed, but with comparable functionality. For instance, few men can orgasm without direct stimulation to their shaft.

Sure, it’s possible, but it isn’t the norm. The corresponding body part for a woman is her clitoris – the whole thing, not just the clitoral head. Therefore, trying to get a woman to orgasm without ‘stroking the shaft’ so to speak is possible, but not probable.

The Vagina Isn’t That Sensitive, Guys!

The vaginal opening holds the most of a woman’s nerve endings along the vaginal canal, other than that small disc-shaped space an inch or so up the shaft called the G-Spot. The vagina does feel pressure, but most of its sensitivity lies where the vaginal canal connects to the clitoral network: the G-Spot, the A-Spot further back which controls lubrication, and the exterior contact points in the vaginal opening and the clitoral head/hood.

Normally, men orgasm when they are aroused from direct penile stimulation. The comparable act for women then is when their clitoral head, or somewhere else along the clitoral network, receives direct stimulation. So let’s talk a bit more about this clitoral network, and the clitoral head.

Tip Of The Iceberg

The clitoral head is what most folks call the clitoris, love nub, skittle, button – you get the drift. Many feel that this little exposed piece of flesh is all there is when it comes to the clitoris, but scientists can now prove that the truth is a much bigger story. The clitoral head – the tip of the clitoral network – expands and fills with blood when a woman is aroused, just like a man’s penis does.

The clitoral head even has a foreskin, called the clitoral hood, which protects it from infection and too much stimulation, just like foreskin. When a women gets exited, this hood slides back for better stimulation, and hides the clitoral head again just before climax.

One of the more difficult aspects of a woman’s anatomy is that the clitoral head and network aren’t easily reach – you certainly don’t want to reach out and grab your girl’s clit in the heat of the moment! The clitoris is also connected on both ends. A good analogy: if the top of a man’s penis was attached to his stomach, how would he thrust? He couldn’t.

He’d be dependent on his partner to rub up against him or touch him to receive direct stimulation during intercourse. This is exactly what a woman needs during sex. The fact that hers is buried so deeply makes the challenge a bit more interesting, but by absolutely no means impossible.

Why The Clitoris’ Design Rocks

While it may be difficult, there are some serious benefits to the layout and design of the clitoral complex. For starters, any stimulation to the network affects the entire clitoris. This is why some women are able to orgasm during intercourse with only the movement of a man’s penis thrusting inside of her: because the vaginal opening does have a few nerve endings hiding out there, and the in-out motion pulls the labia down, thus rubbing the clitoral hood and in turn, indirectly the clitoral head.

Basically, even if your wife is able to orgasm during intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation, just thrusting in and out gives her a taste of the indirect stimulation she needs to make it all the way.

How To Identify REAL Female Orgasms

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A female orgasm gives off specific physical signs. Her pulse quickens, her breathing shortens, and her blood pressure increases. Her vaginal opening also gets smaller while the length can increase up to two inches to accommodate something larger than a finger. The entire length of her clitoris both internally and externally fills with blood and gets hard, in the very same way your penis gets hard when you are aroused.

The G-Spot also sticks out more so that it can be easily felt, and the clitoral head starts hiding again so that it doesn’t get too stimulated before reaching peak. You may even notice her labia majora and minora getting tighter and darker, as they stiffen because of the extra blood flow and sensitivity.

Stage 1 – Prior To The Orgasm

Just before orgasm, your partner’s body will increase the intensity all on its own, by ramping up her blood pressure, skin flushing, heart beat and blood flow to a frenzied pace, one that can’t continue for any length of time. Peaking occurs during orgasm, where all of the built-up tension explodes out through the muscles and fibres of her body.

Contractions overtake her sexual organs, and they pulse rhythmically until she has exhausted the energy and they slow to a stop. Some women will continue to feel these contractions for up to twenty minutes after orgasm, or continue the intense orgasm on throughout your intercourse!

Stage 2 – During The Orgasm

During a female orgasm, her vaginal walls vibrate strongly in tandem with her pelvic floor muscles at a rate of approximately once per second. As her pelvic area contracts, oxytocin flows through her system, especially her uterus, and increases her feelings of comfort and satiety. Some women will experience female ejaculation with some clear, milky fluid along with each contraction, either in a strong gush or a slow trickle, especially with G-Spot stimulation.

The length of time that she can continue to have a female orgasm can range from a couple of seconds to several minutes, with half a dozen contractions on average. Having said that, some women will orgasm very quickly and without many contractions at all, while others have reported orgasmic experiences of an hour or more!

Stage 3 – After The Orgasm

After the orgasmic contractions are finished, the last stage of the process is her body’s release of the frenetic tension from the events building up to the climax. She will get back to her normal state relatively quickly, or with the right kind of touch might be able to start the whole process over again, bypassing the foreplay stage if things get heated again right away. This is where men and women tend to differ the most when it comes to sexual release: gents usually require some downtime to recuperate after climax, and can’t nearly as often sustain an erection after ejaculation.

The only thing you can bank on when it comes to orgasm is this: if you want to get your partner from a non-aroused state to climax, you’ll have to give her consistent, rhythmic sexual stimulation and increase the tension throughout the experience, appropriate to the phase she’s in. This attentive devotion is what will get her all the way to the Promised Land.

Keep Your Relationship New And Exciting By Expanding Her Sexual Repertoire

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Relationship advice can help keep you from falling into boredom. Make your relationship stay fresh by always introducing new elements into your sex life. Your partner has her sexual repertoire – her own skill set and techniques. And women stand on different grounds, based on their erotic offerings. One may give great head but have lame hands. Another may give out-of-this-world sensual massages but be a terrible reverse-rider.

Now, imagine showing a woman the ropes and honing her sexual game. Imagine showing her tricks and positions she’s never done before – bringing her pleasure and excitement she never knew existed. Imagine being the breath of fresh air in her life, opening her eyes to possibilities and making her think, “This guy is something else.” Imagine giving her something that her other relationships have never offered.

The fact of the matter is, your partner is bored out of her wits everyday. Her days are caged in routines revolving around work (or home).

A typical Monday could drone like this:

Wake-up-early-in-the-morning. Have coffee. Drive to work. Answer stupid emails. Have lunch at 12. Meetings in the afternoon. Dinner in front of the TV. Take half a sleeping pill. Dream of a 2 week paid vacation that will never be. Wake up early in the morning. Have coffee. Drive to work, etc.

For many women, sex remains to be the only avenue to unload the stress of a horrendous work week. Unfortunately, these same women become even more deadened as sex further deteriorates their already ho-hum existence – courtesy of lovers boring as hell.

Take pride in your relationship with her. Be the man who teaches her how to please a man. You need to bring something to the table and not simply take from it.

1. Constantly Surprise Her

I don’t mean paying top dollar for anything – that’s just using your money to do the thinking for you. Use your imagination. It doesn’t even need to be elaborate or labored. In fact, the simpler the better – always think simple and little.

2. Teach Her New Positions

Suggest  new sex positions that come to mind throughout the day. Tell her about new sex roles you’ve concocted or this month’s codenames for erotic regions or this month’s genre for booty music.

3. Make Sex Exciting

Whisper naughty remarks while in front of her friends or at the ATM line. Tell her how you’ll blindfold her later and have your way with her. Tell her about your plans of inducting her into the Mile-High Club – right there on her first class seat!

And don’t just tell, do it.

Your partner will gladly take the position of student when she knows she’s in good hands. Be her teacher, her guru and lead the way. Give her the joy of just being there for the ride. Make time spent with you a journey of discovery and she’ll conclude she’s better off with you around.

Reality Check

How can you possibly do these things when you yourself are mentally bankrupt?

When you’ve got nothing, no ideas of your own, how can you possibly add color to her experience? When you yourself are bored to death with your own routines, how can you lead the way? You don’t know where the freakin way is!

If I were you, I wouldn’t rely on the size of my penis and start really thinking how to make the sex more exciting. You’re the man, she will look to you for leadership and dominance.

How To Play With Her Breasts The Right Way

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The breasts and nipples are one of the biggest erogenous zones of the female body. Knowing how to effectively touch, kiss and suck on her breasts and nipples is one of the most essential skills that a guy can learn in the bedroom. One of the biggest complaints that women have is that men are either too rough or too light with their breasts.

Boobs come in all shapes and sizes and nipples are the same way. If you are getting complaints from your girlfriend or wife about the way that you touch her, there a few things that you can do to brighten up her view of your sensitivity with one of the most fun parts of her body. Here is a short guide on how to effectively play with her breasts and nipples.

Recognize Her Sensitivity

No matter what size or shape your girlfriend has to her breasts or nipples, all have some level of sensitivity. Knowing the amount of sensitivity is essential to playing with them correctly. You should always be careful around her boobs. Have you ever seen a girl that has been hit in the chest with a soccer ball? They react the same way that a guy does when he gets hit in the crotch.

Know that your girlfriend or wife can be extremely turned on by this, but that too much is going to easily turn her off or make her slap you in the face. When you are sucking on them or touching them with your hands, make sure that you are not hurting her. The nipples are the most sensitive area so make the touches or licking very light.

Ask Her What She Wants

The best way to find out what your girlfriend or wife likes is to simply ask her. Asking her how she likes her breasts to be played with might take some of the spontaneity out of situation, but there isn’t a guy out there doesn’t like for their girl to be vocal. Make her get specific when she is telling you what she likes. Implement some dirty talk if need be. Just make sure she is comfortable.

If she tells you that she likes them to played with via your hands, use your hands a little more than your mouth. If she likes it really hard then be sure to do everything you can until you get to the point just below hurting her. Smaller boobs tend to be more sensitive. If your girlfriend has larger breasts, they may still be sensitive, but you shouldn’t go straight to overdrive if she likes it a little harder. Get her to be vocal during the foreplay so you know exactly what she wants.

Give Her An Erotic Massage

Erotic massages are a great way to get her and you turned on right before sex. Use massage oil on her chest and she will start to get turned on instantly. If you’re going to use massage oil it is recommended to put down older sheets. Make sure that the sheets are clean, but don’t use your 1000 count Italian thread sheets with massage oil. This can drip all over the place leaving you with a mess.

Pour the massage oil or lubricant in your hand first and then rub your hands together. This will get the substance warm. The last thing that you want to do is pour cold massage oil on her chest. Apply the oil to her and make circular motions. Work your way from the outside to her nipples. If you see her nipples start to get hard, you know that you’re doing a great job. Again, get her to be vocal with your motions. Ask her what feels good and what she would like you to do. Don’t be shy and tell her that you want to know so it feels best for her.

Use A Lot Of Variety

When you are sucking and licking on her breasts, you want to add a little variety. Don’t just focus on the nipple. While the nipples are the main focal point, all guys are going to go straight for it. Kiss and lick on the top of her  breasts to add more to the experience. The underside of her breasts are a place where most guys forget or forgo. Kissing and licking on the underside, as these places are highly sensitive.

The space between her breasts is also a great place to kiss and lick as this is not touched on a normal basis. Vary the amount of pressure you put on them when you are squeezing and you should see her trying to catch her breath. Above all, do what she likes for the best results possible.

What You’re Doing Wrong In Bed (And How To Fix It)

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Foreplay is an essential, but no-one is asking you for perfection, honey. This isn’t about being a  Casanova or a foreplay aficionado – though neither hurts, that’s for sure! No, what we’re talking about right now is giving your wife what she really wants when she’s at her most vulnerable and receptive, open and honest.

Fear

According to husband and wife team Kim Catrall and Mark Levinson in their book “Satisfaction: The Art of Female Orgasm,” which addresses the many issues that face the modern couple working toward a female orgasm, fear is a primary source of recurring anxiety and emotional stress in a lover’s life. I was terrified to tell my husband that I wasn’t satisfied with our sex life, scared that I would hurt him or cause the kind of anger and resentment that ultimately. This kind of anxiety breeds resentment and serious stress, both of which are the opposite of sexy.

Discontent

Open, honest communication is the bedrock upon the foundation of a happy relationship. Your partner will have good reason to be afraid to talk to you about  their sexual experiences. We don’t exactly have the best reputation for effective communication. Dr. DeAngelis identifies ten archetypes describing rote male reactions to talking about sex that make women cringe, especially when it comes to talking about sex.

1.  Mystery Men are vague.
2. Slippery Men avoid discussion.
3. Invisible Men withdraw and hold back.
4. Secret Men can’t express their own needs and desires.
5. Volcanic Men bottle up their feelings until they explode.
6. Vanishing Men storm out in the middle of discussions.
7.  Commando Men bark orders and make demands.
8.  Sarcastic Men make jokes and poke fun at women’s feelings.
9.  Chicken Men lie and tell stories to avoid the hard talks.
10. Reactive Men always expect the worse and react accordingly.

Each of these responses to our genuine concerns about desire and satisfaction can cause deep emotional wounds that will fester and poison relationships without help. When it comes to talking about what we want in bed, if you aren’t willing
to listen, you’ll never learn.

Judgment

During my many years of study and exploration, I learned that becoming orgasmic really was my responsibility. Every woman should take the opportunity to learn her own body – but you need to be open to listening to and learning from her discovery.

If you respond to your wife giving you suggestions or discussing her worries with an attitude of blame, how can you expect her to want to improve her sexual experience with you? The pressure to perform when I knew how hurt or angry my husband
would be if he didn’t feel like he had “done his job” is what led me to begin faking it in the first place.

If you really want to know what your wife is feeling in bed, you need to learn how to tell exactly how she’s doing, take the pressure off her, and give her the chance to be open and honest about her experience. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship and an embodied sexual experience.

Divorce

Sex is rarely cited as a woman’s reason for divorce – only about 5% of female divorcees reported this as the cause (compared to 17% of divorced men). But the emotional effects of fear, discontent and judgment from a sexless or orgasm-free
marriage certainly contribute to the 27% of divorced couples with “emotional problems” and 22% who had extramarital affairs.19

There was a time in my marriage where I was at the end of my rope. I considered cheating and even thought about how awful a divorce would be if things came to that. I realized that the hard work it would take to learn and teach my husband about sexual fulfillment was a better choice than the easy route of finding someone else to give me a hand with the sex education. Put simply, my husband got lucky!