A blowjob is something that men cannot possibly understand. Here is exactly why women really hate giving them and how to overcome the hurdles for a fulfilling relationship.
1. She thinks “It’s Degrading To Women.”
It seems a little old fashioned to me, but a lot of women still think that giving you a blowjob is degrading to women. Due to cultural stereotypes, things they’ve seen in porn or feminist theory, they see fellatio as a way for men to show their domination and power over women.
And you know what? To some degree they’re right. Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m not supposed to say that, but on a deep and primal level getting a blowjob (or GIVING a blowjob) is about power, connection, service and submission. It’s about one person doing everything they can to make another person feel good. And done right it can be a hell of a boost to the ego of both people in the equation.
This might sound unbelievable depending on how often you get oral sex, but a lot of women actually LIKE the submissive aspect of giving blowjobs (more than you’d probably think.) And I don’t know about you, but I definitely DO feel powerful and virile and just plain GOOD when my girlfriend is going down on me.
I mean, there’s a reason we guys LOVE getting blow jobs in the first place and it’s not all physical. There’s a damned good mix of power and fantasy mixed in there as well. So while I agree that a first blowjob really can be about power (both your power over her and her power over you) I totally reject the idea that a blowjob is “degrading” to women.
When we get to the “step by step” part of this manual I’m going to show you how to “flip the switch” on how your woman thinks about blow jobs so instead of seeing it as something “degrading” and “humiliating” she sees it as a way of exerting her sexual power over you.
For now, I want you to do two things:
Accept the fact that getting a blowjob is about more than just physical pleasure for you. Deep down in your subconscious there’s a part of you that gets off on having a woman “worship” your penis and be completely dedicated to your pleasure. And you know what? That’s just fine. I’ll tell you right now, if you’re in any way “ashamed” about your desire for a blow job it’s going to be a lot harder to make this work.
So just accept it. You want a hummer. In fact, you want a great, eager, fun, toe curling hummer. It’s cool.
Stop thinking of a fellatio as something she “does for you” and start thinking of it as something you can SHARE together. We’ll get more into this later, but on a conscious level I need you to start seeing blow jobs as a POSITIVE thing that you and your woman can do together that you BOTH should enjoy.
2. She Thinks It’s “Dirty Down There.”
A lot of women don’t like giving oral sex because they think guys are dirty, disgusting pigs. And they’ve kind of got a point. If you haven’t taken a shower in two weeks, are wearing the same underwear you had on during the Bush presidency and think soap is “some kind of commie plot against masculinity.”
Well, there ain’t no way you’re getting head. Listen: In this manual I’m going to teach you EXACTLY how to get your woman to LOOK forward to giving you head and ENJOY it as much as you do. But if you don’t do some “basic maintenance” first the whole thing is going to blow up in your face.
So here’s some basic stuff you need to do:
TAKE A SHOWER. Seriously, dude. Get in there with REAL soap and clean up the whole area. Spend some time on it and make your whole undercarriage (balls, cock, ass) as spotless as humanly possible. Use some scented soap (something girly) so she can tell you actually cleaned up. (Women have MUCH more sensitive senses of smell than guys do.)
Mow the lawn. OK, I’m a big hairy guy (my ethnic background is French, Italian and Lebanese. I get hairier by the minute) so this is actually a sensitive subject for me. But I’m going to tell you right now your chances of getting a GREAT orgasm on a REGULAR basis go WAY up when you get in there with some clippers and clear out the underbrush. I mean, how the heck can she suck your penis if she can’t find the damn thing?
Be “Conspicuously Clean” And Let Her Know It OK, this is subtle but important. Make sure she KNOWS that you’ve cleaned up. Next time you’re planning on getting amorous with your lady (or before you play the “games” I teach you in the next section) do what girls do and “go freshen up.”
3. The Gag Reflex (She Chokes)
OK guys, good news and bad news. The good news is that most women really can learn to deep throat over time (and it feels great.) The bad news is that the odds are your wife is NOT Linda Lovelace.
Do me a quick favor:
Take your index finger . . .
Shove it down your throat as far as possible.
See what happens (You probably GAG and feel that vomit reflex.)
Was that PLEASANT?
Was that something you LIKED?
Of course not.
And unless your woman is an “old pro” at giving head or a genetic freak with no gag reflex, she doesn’t like it either. Most women I know HATED giving head the first couple times they did it because the guy they were with grabbed her head and made her choke. And weirdly enough that traumatic event really colored the experience for her and made it something she didn’t want to do again.