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Why Flowers And Jewelry Are Murdering Your Sex Life

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Have you ever sprung for a fancy night out on the town, a lavish bouquet of flowers or a piece of sparkly jewelry that makes your paycheck want to shrivel up and commit ritual suicide, thinking it was going to light a MAJOR fire in your sex life?

Only to find yourself hours later, feeling frustrated, horny and ripped off, staring at the ceiling, cursing your hard on and wondering why the night of head-board-cracking passion you were desperately dreaming of failed to materialize?

If you have, you sure as heck ain’t alone!

“I ain’t saying’ she’s a gold digger , but she ain’t messing with no broke bloke” – Kanye West

“Are those space pants? Because they make your ass look out of this WORLD” – Unknown.

Fact is a the world is chock full guys who have been brainwashed into thinking that the way to turn a woman on (whether she’s your wife, your girlfriend or even just that hot and sultry check out girl who always mangles your bread with such erotic passion) is by “being romantic” and “buying her stuff.”

Why Buying Romantic Stuff Won’t Get You Laid

  • It’s totally insulting to women and paints them as “gold diggers” who’s motors go into overdrive thanks to physical things (I think you can agree with me if you’re on this site that women are sexy, wonderful, awesome and smell great.)
  • It’s complete and utter BULLSHIT.

No Woman Can Really Be Seduced By Flowers

Despite what the romance industry and “Sex In The City” would tell you, NO WOMAN actually gets turned on by flowers (or by jewelry, or by super-price tickets to Cats. Actually, tickets to Cats might be grounds for divorce in some states.)

Now, I’m not saying your wife (or girlfriend or the mail carrier with the delectable thighs) won’t sleep with you if you shell out a lot of cash for on her.

A lot of women, when faced with a big bouquet, a bottle (or three) of good wine or a rock that makes your monthly mortgage look like pocket change will lay back and LET you make sweet (boring) love them out of a sense of duty or gratitude.

But There’s a Huge Difference Between Gratitude and LUST

Out of a sense of GRATITUDE, your wife (or girlfriend or that one waitress with the sexy limp) might LET you have your way with her .

But she probably won’t ENJOY it. She won’t BRAG to her friends about what an amazing lover you are and she won’t count down the moments until the next time she can pounce on you like a lioness digging into a porterhouse steak.

Bringing back my high school algebra, the equation is:

“Materialistic Romance” = “Sense of Gratitude and Duty” = Boring “by the numbers” sex where you think about porn stars and she thinks about knitting, or no sex at all because you’re both “too tired” and “married people don’t have that much sex anyway.”

Getting into her lizard brain and TURNING HER ON = Overwhelming, logic-killing lust = Silly grins, swishing hips, orgasms that make you pass out and the kind of cheat-proof marriage that builds nations and rolls back unfair taxation.

Pretty big difference, huh?

So how do you actually TURN YOUR WOMAN ON?

You don’t do it by “buying her stuff.”

How To REALLY Turn Her On

You’ve probably heard this before, but a woman’s biggest erogenous zone is her MIND (while a man’s biggest erogenous zone is his stomach. Wait, that’s probably not quite right.)

And the biggest way to “tickle” that erogenous zone – blowing past all her defenses, making her feel like you’re the ONE MAN who understands how to turn her on and get her so hot and ready she eye-f*cks the check out boy at the supermarket – is with stories and WORDS .

The simple fact is if you can TALK to your woman, draw her attention to the fires burning in her body and engage her imagination, you’ll have the “bed-destroying” sex you’ve been craving since your honeymoon, and that no amount of flowers, overpriced entrees or blood diamonds can ever replicate.

I’ll be teaching you some specifics about how to use language to turn any woman on in my next few articles.

In the meantime…

4 MORE Reasons Women Hate Blowjobs

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Oral sex can be challenging for a girl – there are many reasons why she doesn’t want to give you a blowjob. Here are four things that keep her from giving head.

1. Good Girls Don’t Do That

This one often comes from a religious or conservative upbringing where she was taught that giving head is a “sin” or something that “good girls” don’t do. And guys actually make this WORSE by treating a blowjob as the “holy grail” of sexuality or trying to PRESSURE her into doing it.

Getting over the “good girl” stigma is actually pretty easy. Just keep reading.

2. She’s Scared To Swallow Or She Doesn’t Like The Taste

I blame porn. A lot of guys have this unrealistic expectation that women should be EAGER to swallow. In the real world, women that really LIKE doing that are pretty rare (and treasured like the beautiful unicorns they are.) For now, I want you to take swallowing off the table completely. That’s not what we’re going for yet. Once you get more advanced you can learn some techniques for getting her to want to swallow and maybe even enjoy it. But you’ve got to crawl before you can skateboard.

3. She Thinks You’re A Hypocrite For Asking

She just might be right about that.

I can’t even tell you how many emails I’ve gotten from women saying “Mike, I give my husband slow, deep, wonderful blowjobs but he REFUSES to go down on me! What do I do!”

Plain and simple, if you want your woman to get into the idea of giving you oral sex on a regular basis (and really getting INTO it) you’ve got to be willing and EAGER to do the same for her.

Yeah, I know, some guys “hate” doing that, don’t like the smell, think it’s not “manly” or whatever. And my advice to you is to GET THE #@$@ OVER IT. If you want to get, you have to give. And you have to give REALLY well. So next time you and your woman are going at it, kiss your way down her stomach, pray to whatever gods you worship and get to work. It’ll be worth it, I promise.

4. She Doesn’t Think She’s Any Good At Oral Sex

This is actually huge.

When I was doing my research for this training I heard from woman after woman that one of the biggest reasons they didn’t like giving head was because they didn’t think they were any good at it.

Fact is most women have “low blowjob self esteem” and are petrified that you’re going to tell them what they’re doing “isn’t as good as your ex girlfriend” or “ doesn’t measure up in some way.”

(Tangentially, this low self esteem is a huge part of the “sex problem” I see in so many relationships. The woman doesn’t feel truly sexy, desired or “good” at sex, so she takes it off the table. This sometimes happens due to no fault of the guy at all.)

A huge part of what you need to do is to start BUILDING up her sexual self esteem (both around blowjobs and around sex in general.)

It won’t take long and your woman will feel worlds better about her ability to please you, will actually ENJOY giving you head and will actually have improved her sexual skills by leaps and bounds.

3 Reasons Women HATE Giving A Blowjob

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A blowjob is something that men cannot possibly understand. Here is exactly why women really hate giving them and how to overcome the hurdles for a fulfilling relationship.

1. She thinks “It’s Degrading To Women.”

It seems a little old fashioned to me, but a lot of women still think that giving you a blowjob is degrading to women. Due to cultural stereotypes, things they’ve seen in porn or feminist theory, they see fellatio as a way for men to show their domination and power over women.

And you know what? To some degree they’re right. Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m not supposed to say that, but on a deep and primal level getting a blowjob (or GIVING a blowjob) is about power, connection, service and submission. It’s about one person doing everything they can to make another person feel good. And done right it can be a hell of a boost to the ego of both people in the equation.

This might sound unbelievable depending on how often you get oral sex, but a lot of women actually LIKE the submissive aspect of giving blowjobs (more than you’d probably think.) And I don’t know about you, but I definitely DO feel powerful and virile and just plain GOOD when my girlfriend is going down on me.

I mean, there’s a reason we guys LOVE getting blow jobs in the first place and it’s not all physical. There’s a damned good mix of power and fantasy mixed in there as well. So while I agree that a first blowjob really can be about power (both your power over her and her power over you) I totally reject the idea that a blowjob is “degrading” to women.

When we get to the “step by step” part of this manual I’m going to show you how to “flip the switch” on how your woman thinks about blow jobs so instead of seeing it as something “degrading” and “humiliating” she sees it as a way of exerting her sexual power over you.

For now, I want you to do two things:

Accept the fact that getting a blowjob is about more than just physical pleasure for you. Deep down in your subconscious there’s a part of you that gets off on having a woman “worship” your penis and be completely dedicated to your pleasure. And you know what? That’s just fine. I’ll tell you right now, if you’re in any way “ashamed” about your desire for a blow job it’s going to be a lot harder to make this work.

So just accept it. You want a hummer. In fact, you want a great, eager, fun, toe curling hummer. It’s cool.

Stop thinking of a fellatio as something she “does for you” and start thinking of it as something you can SHARE together. We’ll get more into this later, but on a conscious level I need you to start seeing blow jobs as a POSITIVE thing that you and your woman can do together that you BOTH should enjoy.

2. She Thinks It’s “Dirty Down There.”

A lot of women don’t like giving oral sex because they think guys are dirty, disgusting pigs. And they’ve kind of got a point. If you haven’t taken a shower in two weeks, are wearing the same underwear you had on during the Bush presidency and think soap is “some kind of commie plot against masculinity.”

Well, there ain’t no way you’re getting head. Listen: In this manual I’m going to teach you EXACTLY how to get your woman to LOOK forward to giving you head and ENJOY it as much as you do. But if you don’t do some “basic maintenance” first the whole thing is going to blow up in your face.

So here’s some basic stuff you need to do:

TAKE A SHOWER. Seriously, dude. Get in there with REAL soap and clean up the whole area. Spend some time on it and make your whole undercarriage (balls, cock, ass) as spotless as humanly possible. Use some scented soap (something girly) so she can tell you actually cleaned up. (Women have MUCH more sensitive senses of smell than guys do.)

Mow the lawn. OK, I’m a big hairy guy (my ethnic background is French, Italian and Lebanese. I get hairier by the minute) so this is actually a sensitive subject for me. But I’m going to tell you right now your chances of getting a GREAT orgasm on a REGULAR basis go WAY up when you get in there with some clippers and clear out the underbrush. I mean, how the heck can she suck your penis if she can’t find the damn thing?

Be “Conspicuously Clean” And Let Her Know It OK, this is subtle but important. Make sure she KNOWS that you’ve cleaned up. Next time you’re planning on getting amorous with your lady (or before you play the “games” I teach you in the next section) do what girls do and “go freshen up.”

3. The Gag Reflex (She Chokes)

OK guys, good news and bad news. The good news is that most women really can learn to deep throat over time (and it feels great.) The bad news is that the odds are your wife is NOT Linda Lovelace.

Do me a quick favor:
Take your index finger . . .
Shove it down your throat as far as possible.
See what happens (You probably GAG and feel that vomit reflex.)

Was that PLEASANT?
Was that something you LIKED?
Of course not.

And unless your woman is an “old pro” at giving head or a genetic freak with no gag reflex, she doesn’t like it either. Most women I know HATED giving head the first couple times they did it because the guy they were with grabbed her head and made her choke. And weirdly enough that traumatic event really colored the experience for her and made it something she didn’t want to do again.

4 Ways To Get A Blowjob WITHOUT Asking

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A blowjob can be a fun thing for you and your wife or girlfriend. A lot of guys think that this is something the girl does for them after asking or begging, but there are simple ways that you can turn this activity into something you get on a regular basis. Here are a couple of basic rules and things you need to internalize in order to make this “blowjob” thing start to happen in your life.

1. Change Your Thinking

You need to permanently change your thinking around oral sex. Weirdly enough, if you want to get more head in your life you need to treat blowjobs as “no big deal.” If getting a blowjob is the “be all, end all” of your sexuality then it becomes too much pressure for her. If it’s “just something fun you guys can do” it’s more likely to happen and happen often.

2. Don’t Beg – EVER

Most women want their man to be the dominant but respectful one in the sexual relationship. That means you CAN NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DESIRES. If you ever act embarrassed by something you want sexually your odds of getting it go WAY down. Whether you want her to go down on you or put on a sexy clown costume and juggle your balls, you need to OWN your desire and have confidence about it. This can be hard to pull off, but it’s incredibly important.

3. Don’t Be Misogynistic

This whole method is based around loving and respecting women. In my own life I’ve discovered that the more I respect and adore women the dirtier, sexier and weirder things they’ve been willing to do with me. Even if you really want to be dominant with a woman, the best way to get there is to have a sincere desire to give her pleasure and to have FUN with her.

4. Make It About BOTH Of You

You need to start thinking of blowjobs as “something you guys SHARE” instead of something she does for you. This is a really important distinction. Once you internalize this concept you’ll both start having a lot more fun with your sexual fantasies. It’s got to be fun for both of you.

5 Ways To Get Her To Give You Head More Often

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Blowjob tips are essential if you want to get good head in your relationship. Getting head is something no guy wants to turn down. But what if you’re not being offered? Here are five things you can do to get your girl to want to suck you off.

OK, even if your wife or girlfriend “sometimes” gives you head now, I still recommend you read (and reread) this article. It’s all in the name of getting a great blowjob, but what I teach you in the next few pages will do wonders for your sexual connection, your woman’s desire to try new things and the amount of FUN you guys have in the bedroom together.

Here’s a couple of basic rules and things you need to internalize in order to make this “blowjob” thing start to happen in your life.

1. Get Her Turned ON!

If you don’t already have a sex life with your wife or girlfriend, or don’t know how to get things heated up, learn! It’s not all about techniques – it’s about igniting her sexual desire for you. Also, don’t be shy about giving her oral sex. She’s not going to want to go down on you if you never do it for her.

2. Change How You Feel About Getting Head

You need to permanently change your thinking around getting a blowjob. Weirdly enough, if you want to get more head in your life you need to treat them as “no big deal.” If getting a blowjob is the “be all, end all” of your sexuality then it becomes too much pressure for her. If it’s “just something fun you guys can do” it’s more likely to happen and happen often.

3. Do Not Beg!

Don’t beg… EVER. Your woman needs to see you as a sexually powerful man. Most women want their man to be the dominant but respectful one in the sexual relationship. That means you CAN NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DESIRES. If you ever act embarrassed by something you want sexually your odds of getting it go WAY down. Whether you want her to go down on you or put on a sexy clown costume and juggle your balls, you need to OWN your desire and feel confident about it. This can be hard to pull off, but it’s incredibly important.

4. Don’t Be Misogynistic

This whole method is based around loving and respecting women. In my own life I’ve discovered that the more I respect and adore women the dirtier, sexier and weirder things they’ve been willing to do with me. Even if you really want to be dominant with a woman, the best way to get there is to have a sincere desire to give her pleasure and to have FUN with her.

5. Share The Experience With Her

Start thinking of oral sex as “something you guys SHARE” instead of something she does for you. She will love this! This is a really important distinction. Once you internalize this concept you’ll both start having a lot more fun. It’s got to be fun for both of you.