Dating Tips – Page 22

How To Be Naturally Good With Women

The best dating advice for being good with ladies is actually quite simple, contrary to popular belief. There are simple changes in your thinking that you can make to become one of those guys that is just good with girls.

Ever notice how some people are just always getting with attractive girls? Sometimes they are not even attractive men, but seem to leave the club with the hottest girl there. This has nothing to do with tricks or techniques when meeting women, but comes from the proper mindsets that they have developed.

Having The Proper Mindset

Someone that is naturally good with women does not have a set of pick up lines that they use and generally have no scripted game plan of any sorts when it comes to meeting women, yet it is their beliefs and mindsets that guide their actions in a naturally attractive way. The alignment of ones actions and mindset are what makes up dominance and is the first step to bringing out your inherited natural.

Before you can be in tune with others, you must be in tune with yourself. Now, I do not mean that is some preachy confidence developing way, I mean it as in order to bring women into your life; you need to know what you want from them.

This kind of guy knows what kind of girl he is attracted to. There can be many things that can draw your attraction to a girl, whether it is natural good looks, style, demeanor, personality, or a combination of them all, a guy that is good with women has his preference and you should too.

Avoid “Rating” Women

Another great piece of dating advice is to avoid “rating” women. A man that is awesome with girls does not rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 – this kind of scale is made up by people that do not have the ability to be good with ladies and it becomes a tool to create excuses about why they did not talk to a particular girl.

A man that IS great with girls only has two numbers, a “One” and a “Zero.” One meaning, you would “do” her, and zero meaning you wouldn’t. Now you need to understand, wanting to “do” a girl is not an objectification and should not be viewed as one. It comes from our inherited desire to want to reproduce, and denying that urge is the most “unnatural” thing you can do. The difference lies in how a smooth guy views having sex with a girl and is what makes them successful over the average sleaze ball in a club.

Being A Dominant, Confident Man

Wanting to have sex with a girl comes from a place of DOMINANCE when your desire for sex comes from something about her that triggers that urge. For example, I am very into music production and if I met a girl that displayed a unique or solid understanding of music, my sexual attraction to her would be ignited because of something about her that I find particularly sexy.

My sexual attraction does not come from a place of simply just wanting to have sex with her to have another notch in the belt. That difference in thinking is what makes a natural stand out and allows for sexual attraction to be reciprocated by the girl.

You may see many guys that have no shame in talking to every girl that walks by, however their dating success rate is low because they have not set standards for themselves. They are simply willing to settle on whatever is willing to settle with them. This behavior is very unattractive to any girl and only attracts girls with low self-esteem and other problematic issues.

More often than not, it just leads to a two-minute conversation followed by a harsh blow out. A girl shutting down a guy like this is no surprise though. How can a girl be expected to respect a guy that no standards or idea what he wants? It is essentially like he has no respect for himself. Very unattractive.

Understanding Your Desire For A Woman

The key to understanding this is by going out and taking note of what is it about certain women that draw your attention. To you, what makes some girls stand out over the others, start to find what it is that these women share in common to help you better understand your own desire.

That way, next time you see a girl that gets your attention, your desire for her is understood and gives you all the reason in the world to talk to her. Once you begin to understand the only reason you need to talk to a girl is because of your attraction to her, your approach and actions will come from a place of genuine dominance.

How To Approach Women – Doing It Naturally

By vindicarlo

When dating, approaching girls can feel awkward and staged. When someone that is simply good with women approaches a girl, they do not have a scripted line all made up for them to say to a girl. They simply see a girl they like and they go over to talk to them. It can be frustrating to watch, but in the end, it’s something that even the most awkward guys can learn.

Have No Fear

The key to this is understanding why they have no fear to start flirting with ladies. Any fear that you have of talking to girls comes from approval seeking behavior that you also must abandon. People that are simply good with dating girls never seek or care about approval.

If you are feeling nervous about talking to a girl, your focus is already out of line because your focus is on trying to gain her approval. If I ever feel slightly nervous when talking to a girl, I know it is because my focus is on the outcome, and I am pre-thinking about what she may think of me. It is at this time I remind myself “Every girl is special, and I want to show this girl what makes her special.” This re-aligns my focus and any nervousness I had goes away.

How To Really Approach Girls

Now, there are many beliefs on the proper way to approach girls when dating, whether it is going direct from the start, hiding your intentions through some pick up line, or talking about your surroundings, none of these are actually the natural way to approach ladies.

Any pretty girls you see has been chatted up by guys with bad game and have also been hit on by guys with the natural ability to talk to girls. If a girl can tell someone has that natural ability, they will open up from the start and that is why it is important to open like a true natural does. The key is opening in a way that shows you believe you have the right to be social.

Step 1: Look for eye contact, if you make eye contact with ANY girl. Time to get up and go over to her.

Step 2: While walking over, do not stare her down, but keep some form of eye contact with her while holding a slight smile. This will allow her to feel non threatened and also will make her aware of your approach. She will already begin to set in her mind that you are going to talk to her, making the whole approach less “random.

Step 3: Say “Hi.” (Now stop! Don’t keep trying to chat up. You have the right to be social, allow for her to see this and allow her to come into the conversation. Just simply say “hi” to the girl with a friendly smile. She will say “hi” back. Her attention is now on you. Many guys jump right in by stating their intentions like “Hi, I thought you were cute and I wanted to introduce myself.” However, this often creates a block in the conversation cause she only knows how to respond by saying “thanks.”

Step 4: Say “How’s it going?” (Now stop again. Your genuine curiosity here will help take over and you will be surprised of the detailed responses you can get from this simple question right off the bat. But you have to genuinely want to know how she is doing, your attitude should be like you are interested in meeting her, but am still feeling out if you want to talk to her.

Don’t be afraid to allow any silence to encourage her to talk a little more. This is how a natural talks; they are completely comfortable saying “Hey, how’s it going” to a stranger without it being weird for them. Girls immediately pick up on this as someone that is attractive and confident around girls.

Also it is very common that if the girl glanced over at you, she actually has something she has been thinking about or wanted to ask you. Often times the girl will actually spark any initial conversation after you say “Hi” just because you have taken the pressure away from the first meet.

Step 5: If conversation has not sparked immediately this is when you can insert your reasoning for going over and talking to her. I don’t really care what kind of opener you use, but using the system I just described above will make any opener you go with much smother and more successful. Personally I do not like to my waste time by chatting about nothing so I will follow up with “I know me coming over seems random, but honestly I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. My name is ___” Then I put my hand out for a handshake. If she shakes my hand and introduces herself, then I know I am in; she has complied with my conversation and also has a general interest in me.

This will make the rest of the interaction go much smoother. If she brushes it off by saying she is dating someone already or something, that is cool too because now I am not wasting my time chatting her up for 20 minutes then going for an awkward number close. I could have met three other great girls that were into me within that time. Naturals are very good at time management.

Also if she brushes off my response to saying she is cute, it is still no big deal. I have never gotten a negative response from that because no one ever approaches girls that way. Either way, you have made their day and they will feel good cause you extended a genuine compliment their way.

That is something you should have fun with and also further help rid any dating anxiety. If you genuinely think a girl is cute or there is something about her that catches your attention, and you tell her what that is, she will never give you a harsh or negative response because you have made her feel good. There is absolutely nothing to be anxious about if you are thinking, seeing, and approaching like a natural.

Friend Zone Damage Control

By vindicarlo

When dating, beware of the “Friend Zone” – we have all been in it, and it sucks. Despite all the glorious positions you can be in with a women, there is one that no man wants to be in. When placed in it by a woman, you lose all romantic interest in her eyes. You become a sexual non-entity with the arousing powers of her own brother, or a lampshade. Once you’re there, she’s not going to be interested in dating you.

As you gain more experience with women, you will find yourself in the friend zone less and less and will learn many ways to preemptively stop yourself from winding up in it. However, that is not what I am going to get into with this article. Instead I am going to share some ways that you can remove yourself once being placed in it.

Be Willing To Lose The Friendship

The first step to getting out of the friend zone is that you have to be willing to lose her completely. One thing I have learned in my years managing relationships with women is that two people who are platonic don’t sleep with each other. You will not be able to go after her if you are afraid to lose her, doing so will only plant you deeper in it. So what’s the most important step?

Make Yourself Less Available

One of the main reasons you probably got placed in the friend zone in the first place (instead of dating her) is because you made yourself overly available. You constantly made plans to hang out with her without making a move. The longer you hang out with a girl without hooking up, the higher the chance you will be placed in it. So what do you do? Get away from her. Distance yourself and for a little bit stop making an effort to hang out with her. If she is a real “friend” she should be making an effort to hang out with you. You’re soon going to realize that she probably won’t be setting up a time to hang out anytime soon.

As time goes by she will become in touch with you. If not, you can slowly re-engage but this time with a different approach. For example, do not be her therapist. Do not give her advice for how to deal with her problems. If you need listen, only do so mockingly. You are no longer a shoulder to cry on and have no need to feel sorry for her problems. She is a big girl, she will figure it out.

Keep Your Options Open

In the mean time you should be talking to or dating other girls. Not to make her jealous, but to create other opportunity for yourself. Only once you have emotionally removed yourself from the girl you are in the friend zone with, will she start chasing you. Also, this is a great time to work on staying out of it with new girls.

Time is beneficial to you here and use it to your advantage. I’m talking about going months without being in touch. It may seem harsh but if you want her that bad, this is what it takes.

After making yourself scarce to her you have opened up a window to change the frame of the relationship. Start sending her mixed signals by escalating touch and showing interest in dating her. Do not be afraid to start flirting with her. You have not talked to her for a while, you want to come back seeming like a different, more sexual person.

Change Your Goals

You want to be coming from the mindset that you want her, but it does not matter if you get her. Remember, you can’t be afraid to lose her. In fact if you are doing any of this to just try and “get her,” it is not going to work. Stop trying to get her. It may take a few months to get out of the mindset where you are trying to be the guy for her, but only then will you be able to start dating her. And at that point it is up to you to decide if you really want her.

If you honestly have a strong friendship with a girl and you really don’t want to ruin it with dating, then you need to accept you will never hook up with her. But you need to ask yourself, is your spending time with her just another hope for you to hook up out of some miracle, or is for your own enjoyment. Remember, people who are platonic don’t sleep together. But if they do, they can become friends that have sex.

How Many Dates Should You Wait Before Going All The Way?

By loveandsex

When you have sex with someone for the first time, it can be a wonderful new experience. It can also be a bit of a disaster, especially if you rush into things without thinking. Sometimes it can be hard to decide when the timing is right to become physically intimate.

In addition to the pressure you feel from within yourself, you may also be feeling pressure from your new love interest, along with the pressures of societal norms. So how can you tell when to make that next move? A little introspection, a discussion or two with your partner, and the ability to go with your gut can all help.

When Is The Right Time To Have Sex?

There is a lot of conventional wisdom out there about when to have sex. Some people think you should hold off until marriage, and others think you should just hold off until the third date. Tempting as it can be to take an established rule as your own, the truth is that you’ll only really be happy if you go for it when you feel that you’re ready.

That means that you need to do some serious thinking. Review your past sexual experiences. Do you feel that you’ve jumped into having sex too quickly before, to the detriment of your past relationships? Or has your experience shown you that there’s no need to put things off? Of course, if you have no past experience because this is your first time ever, you’ll have to turn to other methods of determining your readiness.

Deciding What Is Right For YOU

Whether you’re experienced or not, you’re going to want to further check in with yourself. As far as introspection goes, you should do a little pros and cons analysis. What are all of the good things that you’ll get from sleeping together at this particular point in time, and what are the possible negative consequences? If the negatives outweigh the positives, you should probably hold off a bit longer.

You also need to acknowledge that, once you’ve finally had sex, it may not be as spectacular as you’d hoped it would be. If it goes poorly, that could be the end of things. If you’re not ready to run that risk, you may not be ready for sex with this person, either. Some people are into casual sex, and others feel they need to be in love before they can engage in it.

It’s important for you to truthfully acknowledge which side of the line you fall on. Trying to go against your true feelings is a mistake, particularly if you’re someone that needs to be in love. You may feel regret after the fact, which will sully the experience for you.

How Does Your Partner Feel About When To Have Sex?

Once you’ve established how you feel about it and decide that you’re ready, you need to have that conversation with your S.O. Tell them you’re hoping to take things to the next level, but want to know how they feel about it. Plus, as non-romantic as it may be, you should discuss birth control and STD prevention with them.

If one of you isn’t prepared to take the appropriate measures, that person also isn’t ready to be having sex. Once the two of you are on common ground, let things happen as they may. When the mood is right, you’ll both know it. Don’t let yourself worry about what anyone other than you and your partner think, whether you sleep together on your first date or your wedding night. Clear up all of your worries in advance, and you’ll have that much more energy to focus on enjoying your first time.

5 Dating Mistakes That Men Make With Women

By loveandsex

Dating problems are easy to create, but great girls are hard to find. So when you do find one, don’t ruin your chances by making deadly mistakes. Remember, attractive ladies are used to dating a lot of guys, so they know what’s going on. The result? They’ll disappear before you realize you’ve done anything wrong. Here are 5 things that many guys do that blow their chances with their girlfriend, and how to avoid them.

Sharing Your Feelings With Her Too Early

When you announce that you love her, you lose the mystery, the magic and the chase. Remember that the early stages of dating should always remain casual. Only after you get to know each other really well should you pursue anything further. It’s also worth mentioning that you can’t logically convince someone to fall in love with you either. Falling in love is a process that happens outside the conscious mind remember that.

Trying To Push It Too Far Too Soon

It’s natural to wonder about your future together but remember, if you start talking about marriage after only 12 months, you could ruin your chances to take things further. Just because you like a particular girl doesn’t mean you should rush things any faster than they should naturally progress. Think about your friends and how the natural progress of friendship happens. Rarely do you meet someone and feel eager to become best buddies over night. As a general rule: slower is better.

Being Too Available

You might think “saying you’re busy” is playing a mind game or being manipulative. Well let me tell you something: everything you do is manipulation. We always act a certain way to try and achieve a certain outcome. The best way to come across naturally is to ACTUALLY BE BUSY. Get involved in life and don’t make your new girlfriend the center of your attention. This is simply a reminder to be who you were before you met the girl of your dreams and continue to be that person, rather than use trickery. Remember that your busy, interesting and fun life only has so much time for her, no matter how much you like her. And remember, ladies love a challenge and mystery, so this actually works in your favor.

Not Being Yourself And Seeking Approval

Girls love dating confident guys with a strong sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, guys often try to guess how the woman wants them to act and try to accommodate her mold, which leaves very little room for your own personality to shine. Be comfortable being you. Showing that you’re not scared to be yourself is very attractive and very refreshing for others.

Buying Gifts For Her

While buying gifts “looks” like a nice gesture, the underlying message is, “I want you to like me, so here’s this expensive thing.” Don’t do it. Gifts are for couples in long term relationships. Buying them too early can have the opposite effect to what you want.