Singles & Dating

Online Dating: How & When To Make The First Contact

Online dating should always be premeditated – that’s the beauty of online dating! You can have the communication well thought out in advance. Here’s how.

In online dating, the first move is unlike any “in real life” first meeting you’ve ever had.

The Hunt

The first move in online dating is entirely premeditated. There’s no striking up a natural conversation at the water cooler, or meeting at a bar. You came to the site looking for a date, and anyone that responds to your messages or profile is looking for the same thing. Sure, you may both be looking for different types of romance, but at least the core is the same.

This can make online dating feel like a bit of a hunt. Both parties are looking for certain traits that they will use to filter out potential candidates. These might be age, looks or location. Some people focus on the “attitude” or “tone” of the profile, or the level of commitment they think the profile conveys. Because of these filters, when the first move is made, it carries a certain feeling of excitement, especially for the person being contacted. Out of all these choices, you chose them. You looked at tons of profile pictures and while you could have gone with the flirty girl or the shirtless guy, you chose them, despite being unable to crop out that random guy’s arm from their profile picture.

When you finally do find someone you’d like to “meet”, you can make the process seem like less of a hunt by actually tailoring your message to him or her. Your first message should say more than “I saw your profile and you look interesting. We should talk.” They’ve received spam emails with more personality than that. Try to refer to at least one unique thing in their profile or picture. Try something like “That’s an awesome view in your profile picture. Where was it taken?” or “I had a friend who went to that college! They raved about this restaurant downtown.”

The Catch

Striking a conversation with someone online can be scary. When the Internet was in its infancy, many people held misinformed ideas of what it was. The cliche was finding that perfect profile of a 6 foot 4 inch tall, blond, muscular, polo-playing firefighter who happens to be the heir to an empire but risks his life because he’s so courageous, only to learn that he’s a 5 foot 2 inch tall unemployed couch surfer who took 30 seconds to find a good profile picture. Or falling in love with emails from a leggy super-model who shared your passion for old movies and football, only to learn that she’s also that same 5 foot 2 inch couch surfer.

Now, the risks remain, but there’s a certain level of honesty expected from all involved. Make sure that your first move is a genuine one, even if it’s not necessarily full disclosure. They don’t need to know about your unpaid parking tickets yet. Or that you love trash TV late at night. But you should still be honest. When you make the first move, avoid the temptation to send an inaccurate photo or to fake a passion for college lacrosse. As soon as you meet, they’ll know how accurate the photo was, and if the relationship becomes serious, you don’t want to risk old “fibs” coming back to bite you.

The Bait

Every online dating site or social networking site has their own twist on the non-verbal, and non-committal, first move. Depending on what site you are on, you can poke, wink, cruise, smile, nod, give a flower or do any number of other ice-breaking actions.

Before you click that button, ask yourself if this is really the way you want your initial meeting to happen. It’s literally the modern day equivalent of walking into a bar, winking at someone and walking away.

To some people, it’s off-putting. They think you only like them enough to click a button, but not enough to say “hello, I saw your profile and noticed that we both like traveling.” They can’t tell whether you’re actually interested, or just quickly hitting as many people as you can.

Consider making your first move a little more meaningful by actually sending a message, particularly one that includes a reference to something in the person’s profile. If you share a common interest, use that as an icebreaker, not a “wink.”

The Release

The initial contact can be the end of the road for many online relationships. Accept it. There’s no obligation that either party has to go on at least one date with every person that talks to them online, or even that they have to respond to your first message. Or your second, third or fourth. It’s possible that you’ve contacted an inactive profile, or your target just found the love of his or her life minutes before you sent your message.

If you’re absolutely convinced that the person was a match, then a follow-up message may be appropriate. They may legitimately have forgotten to respond to you, or unable to get to a computer. Be ready to call a time of death on this potential relationship if you still don’t receive a response though.

Making the first move in online dating can be nerve-wracking and unusual, but every relationship has to begin somewhere. If you can avoid certain behaviors and you are willing to start a conversation, you can find easily handle the world of online dating.

Online Dating – When To Take Your Relationship To The Real World

By michellehemingway

Online dating can be fun, but there’s a point where you need to move from online dating to real life. Here’s how to know when the right time really is.

Because people move at different speeds within the world of internet dating, it’s important to be careful about when you move the dating from online to offline. While you may connect with one person who is interested in meeting almost right away, the next person may prefer to take things slower and get to know you first.

No Pressure – Move At Your Own Pace

The truth is, moving from online to offline dating is not an exact science. The right time to venture offline and meet the other person is when you both are ready. This may take as little as one day for some internet couples and as much as a few months for others.

It’s important not to try to pressure your other, cyber, half into meeting you or not meeting you. The end goal is that both of you are comfortable with whatever decisions are made and that you are sure that whatever happens is right for you. If you put pressure on the other person to do what you want, you will be beginning the relationship in a flawed manner – one that could have more serious consequences in the future.

Make Good Use Of Online Tools

It may be a good idea to transition into video chat meetings before meeting in the real world. With video chat, you can get a good idea of what the other person looks like, if they’ve been putting up fake or altered photos, and if you connect with their appearance as much as you have with their personality. Video chat can get both of you accustomed to a more intimate form of meeting than simply chatting with another faceless entity. This can bring you both one step closer toward being ready to actually meet for the first time.

Honesty Is Always Crucial!

Whether or not you want to meet someone right away, it’s important to be honest and transparent in all your dealings with them. If you aren’t interested in meeting them, instead of stringing them along for months and months – getting their hopes up before dashing them to pieces – simply tell them how you feel. If you’re not really interested in meeting people, you may want to reconsider whether or not joining an online dating service is really for you.

How Online Dating Usually Progresses

The online dating progression usually begins with first contact on an online dating service. If you like the person’s profile, you then progress to chatting with them to further advance the connection. If this goes well, you may decide to upgrade to phone call status in which you exchange phone numbers and attempt a you-hang-up-no-you-hang-up kind of love. Once the phone calls are running smoothly and both of you are enjoying yourselves, laughing, and having a good time together, the relationship may finally be ready to progress to a first meeting.

If you are comfortable with your date on the phone and have also video chatted with them various times, chances are that your first meeting will go well and only enhance the relationship. Still, chatting with or calling a person is quite different than meeting them in person, and you should always be a little cautious at your first meeting. When moving from online to offline dating for the first time, always let a close friend or family member know where you’ll be going and how long you plan to be there. You may want to also leave them with a photo and some personal information about the person you plan to meet. First time meetings should always take place in a public area.

Examine Your Motives Thoroughly

Don’t pressure yourself into meeting your online date in person out of fear or guilt. If the only reason you are going to meet in person is because you’re afraid you’ll miss out on a golden opportunity, you may want to reconsider your motives. If you haven’t been able to talk to your special online friend for a few weeks and feel that the best way to make up for your guilt is to meet them in person, that might also not be the best reason to take the relationship from online to offline status. It is a natural part of the spectrum of human emotions to feel both fear and guilt, but make sure that you have better reasons than those to take your relationship into the real world.

If you do finally decide to take the plunge and move from online to offline dating, make sure that you can live up to the face you have presented them with in your online interactions. Being honest about yourself, your personality and appearance, right from the start is the best way to make your first meeting flow smoothly. Whatever you have said about yourself over the days, weeks, or months of your online relationship will all be either proven or disproven in the first few minutes of your first meeting, so speak wisely.

Dating – How To REALLY Be Successful

By loveandsex

Dating doesn’t have to be difficult with these easy to follow suggestions. Find out how to win the dating game today! There are some basic guidelines you should follow to ensure that your date is as successful as possible.

Be Flexible

When scheduling a date, try your best to plan for problems to crop up. If you are going to a concert that begins at 8:00pm, don’t plan on arriving at 7:55pm. Try to put in a 30-minute cushion in case your date is late, you have car problems, you run into traffic or something else happens. Being late can cause a lot of stress on a date. Arriving early gives you time to relax and have a good conversation while you wait.

If you are planning an outdoor date, try to have an indoor backup plan in case of inclement weather. Don’t let a date get ruined because you can’t have your picnic at the beach. Have your picnic in your living room instead. Or go bowling.

Realize that unavoidable things happen. You might lose your tickets or the restaurant might have lost your reservation. Don’t let these situations get you steamed. Show your date that you have class, composure and a sense of humor. Laugh it off.

Use Your Senses

If you want to have a really successful date, try to include as many of the five senses as possible. Here are just a few examples.

Taste – good food, eating wild berries, nice wine or champagne
Smell – candles, fragrant flowers, food grilling, mints
Touch – sand in your toes, waterfalls, a gentle back massage, a warm fire
Sight – sunsets, beautiful gardens, tour of a historic building
Sound – a live band, birds chirping, waves crashing, waterfalls

Make It Personal

The ideas in this book are just a guide. If you know your date’s favorite colors, music, movies, restaurants, hobbies, etc. you can make the dates even more meaningful. Perhaps you should do the “Favorite Date” as one of your first so you have this information on hand.

But just because someone has a favorite restaurant, don’t get stuck in a rut by going there all the time. New experiences will add pizzazz to your relationship.

Surprise!

Almost everyone loves a good surprise. Build up the anticipation for a date by keeping certain elements a surprise. Maybe you can send clues for the date throughout the week. If it is a rather “simple” date, don’t play it up too big, otherwise your date might be disappointed.

I think surprises always add to the mystery and romance of a date. It tells me that my date has taken the time to plan something in advance.

What NOT To Do On a First Date

On your first date (and future dates) you want to make a good impression. Here are some things you want to be careful NOT to do:

Forget your wallet
Talk about all your previous relationships
Brag – few things are more offensive than someone who is so full of them self
Chew tobacco or reek of cigarette smoke
Get drunk
Talk about sex or make physical advances
Be late
Do dinner and a movie (how ordinary)

Online Dating: 5 Ways To Stay Safe

By michellehemingway

Online dating is a great way to meet people, but it’s also an outlet for scumbags. Keep these tips in mind if you want your online dating experience to be safe.

Online dating has become one of the fastest-growing internet industries over the course of the past decade. Dozens of websites have staked their claim in the profitable realm of building relationships through the magic of cyberspace. While online dating is an attractive endeavor for folks who have a shortage of free time but an interest in meeting that special someone, it is important to know some general rules of the road in order to avoid regrettable or potentially dangerous situations. Here are five keys to keeping yourself safe while looking for a mate online.

Don’t Give Away Too Much

While you will certainly be asked about things such as your height, eye color and career field, it is important to draw lines regarding the distribution of your personal info. Information such as your address, the names and ages of your children or the location of your workplace should be kept under wraps until you have met with and personally verified the trustworthiness of a person. Not giving away too much applies to money as well as facts.

Over the years, hundreds of online daters have reported being the victim of scammers that were able to get money out of their pocket using a variety of creative techniques. As is the case with most situations that have a small potential for danger, a little common sense goes a long way.

Don’t Get Too Serious Too Quickly

Given that people who peruse online dating sites often do so while alone in the comfort of their own homes, thoughts and emotions tend to race in the wake of meeting someone who could be the one. In the aftermath of an introduction and a positive correspondence, many folks will drift off to sleep at night while fantasizing about a new life with Mr. or Mrs. Right.

While dreaming and wishful thinking can certainly be a fun and thrilling practice to engage in, it is important to not ante all of your emotional chips to the center of the table during the first hand. No matter how sprung you are on a potential online mate, you should never put yourself in a position to be easily heartbroken.

Use The Website To Communicate

Quality dating sites will have a user-friendly interface that allows correspondence between members in a private and secure setting. By conducting your communications within the dating website, you can streamline the process and ensure that nobody trolling the site will have easy access to pertinent information such as your e-mail address or phone number. Having a common place to do all of your online dating interactions can also minimize the chance of an un-received or lost message, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities.

Understand That Deception Does Happen

While the vast majority of online daters often slightly embellish entries such as weight or annual income, some folks go so far as to create a false persona. It’s one thing to say you weight 150 pounds when you are actually closer to 170, it’s quite another to say that you are a 27-year-old professional surfer when you are a 45-year-old manager of a Dairy Queen. Be careful of people or biographies that seem far too good to be honest. Hearts often race at the sight of a gorgeous face that claims to have a multi-million dollar annual income, but there is little means of verifying information up-front.

A good way to get to the bottom of a person and figure out whether or not what they are advertising is true is to attain the name of the company they work for and the city it is located in. Typing the information into a Google search will reveal if the company is real or not, giving you excellent insight into the legitimacy of the person.

Have An Easy Out

It is not a common occurrence, but at times online chemistry simply does not translate into real-life chemistry, causing dates to go sour long before their end. If this happens, having a plan to help yourself out of an awkward and undesirable evening is very important. The easiest approach is to schedule a planned phone call from a friend that can be used to prompt a quick exit if need be. If you are meeting a person for dinner at 7:00, tell a trustworthy friend to give you a phone call around 7:30.

If the date is going wrong, you can use your acting skills to pretend that your friend is stranded somewhere and needs a ride home immediately. If you are into the date and liking the person you are hanging out with, the call can be ignored or quickly finished, allowing you to get back to learning more about your new acquaintance.

Stripper Seduction: The Key To Dating A Stripper

By deancortez

Stripper girls are hard to date – but YOU can with these easy to use tips. Follow these guidelines and before you know it you’ll be going out with a stripper!

I’m not guaranteeing that you’ll get laid in the club. But I’ve learned that anything is possible when the mood is right. I’ve had many spur-of-the-moment makeout sessions with girls that I meet in nightclubs; and I do the same in strip clubs all the time.

It’s Not All About The Money

Don’t listen to the player-haters who say that strippers are ONLY about getting your money, and that trying to bang them is pointless. And don’t listen to the strippers, either! Whenever I post articles on the Internet about how to bang strippers, or share my stories in online forums, there are always strippers who respond scornfully: “Don’t listen to this ‘Dean Cortez’ jerk! We dancers are only in the club to do our jobs, not to be picked up! We deserve respect! None of this ‘pickup’ stuff works!”

Yet most strippers met their boyfriends (or the guy they’re currently having sex with) at their job. It’s the truth, and it makes sense. If they’re spending every night interacting with guys in a hard-partying environment, it’s only natural for them to feel attracted towards certain guys and want to hang out with them outside of their work. Why would they pass up the opportunity to land a cool boyfriend, or have sex with a guy they really like, just because they met him “at work?”

They Don’t Have Sex With “Customers”

When strippers say this, what they really mean is that they don’t have sex with customers. This is because going on a date with a customer, who spent a bunch of money on her at the club, sounds an awful lot like prostitution. These girls don’t want to think of themselves as hookers (unless they are hookers, which some are – but most are not). So the key is to re-frame yourself in the club so that she does not view you as a customer, and you aren’t treating her like a stripper. Then she’ll forget those concerns.

Women Are Women

The bottom line is, women are women. Most strippers aren’t as cunning and “untouchable” as you might think they are. When you’ve got tight game and understand the dynamics of her work environment, it doesn’t matter whether she works in the titty bar down the road or behind the cosmetics counter at the mall.

All women are open to being charmed and seduced by a guy with GAME.

Once you’ve mastered these moves, your local strip clubs can become like singles bars—but even better. You’ll no longer be hanging out at strip clubs just to blow your hard-earned cash, only to go home and masturbate at the end of the night.

You’ll be going to the strip clubs with a singular goal in mind: to hook up, close deals, and make it happen. These vixens might be professional manipulators of the male ego, capable of milking chumps out of their kid’s college fund, but even the hottest dancer can be putty in the hands of a true player.

Don’t Use The Word “Stripper”

I might refer to these chicks as “strippers,” but you should never use this term when you are conversing with one. Call them “dancers,” and refer to their profession as “dancing.” Using the term “strippers” will usually offend them. This remains true even if they use the word “strippers.” You never should.

I know, it’s sort of silly to have to use a respectful term for an occupation that involves grinding on the crotches of strange men, but showing respect and understanding for her job is one of the keys to “bonding” with these girls and building their attraction.