Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Singles & Dating

First Date Tips: How To Make It Perfect

By

The first date is crucial – you want to make sure you get a second, right? We all know that first impressions can also be lasting impressions. As such, the first real date that you have with someone is extremely important. Even if you’ve already known each other as friends or acquaintances, that first date is when you’ll get to see each other in a non-platonic light.

You want to be able to learn more about the person you’re on the date with, and you want them to learn more about you. This is your first chance to show that individual how thoughtful you can be. One of the best ways to do that is to plan a great first date.

How To Stand Out From The Crowd

You not only want to make a good first impression on this date; you also want to stand out from the crowd of potential mates out there. That means planning a date that will be unique compared to most people’s typical first date. Eschew dinner and a movie or dinner and drinks for something more special.

Thinking outside the box will make your date sit up and notice you. Think about doing something that will shine a light on one of your better traits or talents. If you’re a good cook, invite your date over to your place for a dinner made by you, or make something that you can take on a picnic and enjoy together. Just make sure that you don’t come off as being full of yourself, or that the date seems to be centered around only what you enjoy.

Speaking of your date’s enjoyment, tailoring the night around their interests will show how thoughtful you can be. Is there anything you can remember about their hobbies or tastes from the previous conversations that you’ve had? Do you have a mutual friend who you can pump for some information to help plan the date?

Access whatever resources you can (without being a stalker about it, of course) to plot a date that shows you’re willing to put effort into a relationship with this person. If they like music, surprise them by taking them to a concert. If they’re into art or history, take them to the museum for the afternoon.

Take Advantage Of The Current Season

You can also look for special seasonal events that will create a memorable date. In the autumn you can go apple-picking, or in the spring you can visit a botanical garden. Does your date love animals? Take him or her to the zoo if the weather permits it. There are plenty of indoor special events out there, too. Just go online or check out the arts and entertainment section of your local paper.

Maybe a bar near you is having a special beer or wine tasting night, or there might be a touring musical or play in town over the weekend. There are so many options out there that go beyond dinner at a restaurant and two tickets to whatever rom-com is playing at a theater near you.

Most people are just too lazy to look into other first date ideas though, so that’s become the standard date. If you plan something above and beyond for your first date, there will be plenty of time to see movies and eat out on down the line. That initial impression will be certain to score you many more dates to come.

How To Make Everyday Activities SEXY!

By

Flirting isn’t just for dates – you can flirt anytime, anywhere! Here’s how to use flirting to up the ante when doing normal, every day things! You may not realize it, but there are numerous opportunities throughout your day to work in some valuable, sexy couple time. It might not feel like it, of course, between all those hours spent at work, doing chores around the house, and trying to stay healthy with regular exercise. However, if you’re willing to take a second look at the things you do every day, you will soon see that many of them can involve your partner in new, fun ways.

Flirting When Exercising Together

Your workout is a great place to start. What do you and/or your significant other typically do for exercise? Is it something that you can start doing together, like running, biking or hiking? Having your S.O. there with you won’t just add to the time you spend together each day, but it will also give you both an extra incentive to stay on top of your workouts. You may even find that having a little friendly competition will push you to run faster, bike for longer, etc.

Best of all, exercise boosts your endorphins and your overall mood, along with your sex drive. If you’re both getting fit together, you just might find you’re in the mood for sex more often than before. You can even spice things up by making little bets here or there—i.e. whoever finishes your running route the fastest gets to pick the position you use in bed that night.

In addition to blending your preexisting workouts together, you might also want to look into new forms of exercise. You could both sign up for a team sport together, or start playing one-on-one basketball or tennis with each other. Better still, try taking a Latin dance class together. You’ll be surprised at how much of a workout you both get, and all that close contact is bound to put you in the mood for sex.

Flirting While Doing Chores Together

Working out together is hardly the only way to build more couple-time into your days. You can take some of your least-loved things, like chores, and use them as an excuse to get closer with your sweetheart. Turn chores into games. Divide up the house cleaning, and whoever completes their chores first each day gets to choose a sexy activity to participate in that night. Wash the dishes together, and each time the person washing or drying falls behind the other person, they have to take off one item of clothing.

Though you might be tempted to take a little extra time doing the dishes—all in the sake of stripping down to your undies—you’ll surely end up enjoying it. You can even do the whole French Maid costume thing while actually cleaning your bedroom, although you might not get very far if your partner can’t handle the wait. In general, though, one of the best things about doing all of your chores together is that the work will be evenly divided up, and you’ll ultimately end up with more downtime to spend together.

Flirting While Cooking Together

Perhaps one of the most fun everyday things you can enjoy with your partner is cooking. When you’ve both gotten home from work, instead of flipping on the TV and waiting for takeout to arrive, try making dinner together. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. It just needs to be something that you can both cook together. Take turns being the head cook and the assistant cook so no one ever feels like they’re secondary. Food is highly sensual.

It’s said that, outside of actually having sex, feeding someone you’re attracted to is one of the most sexual things out there. So don’t be afraid to taste test with each other as you go. Licking a little of that sauce off your partner’s finger certainly can’t hurt. You’re not at a restaurant, either, so you can feel free to cook in an apron and nothing else if you’d like. Just don’t set the kitchen on fire if you get too distracted with each other.

Whether you’re racing each other down the block or playing naughty chefs, the key to spicing up everyday life is simple. Involve your partner in your routine and try to put a positive, sexy spin on otherwise mundane things. The more often you do it, the more natural it will seem to find joy in everything simply by being together.

11 Date Ideas That Will Bring Out Her Inner Child – And Win Her Heart

By

Date ideas can be difficult to come up with, but if you harness the child inside, you can make your date ideas unique enough to make her fall head over heels.

Invite her on a journey to rediscover her inner child. Make plans for an upcoming Saturday or make sure you have booked a day off work for her with her boss as guaranteed this will be her first line of defense in turning you down. Remind her of those carefree days of running around in the park with her friends, swinging on swing sets, making snow cones and catching fireflies at dusk. Remind her of the time when her biggest worry was which flavor of ice cream to choose.

Having Fun Being Kids Again

Whilst it might seem immature, just work with me. Call her up and invite her on a “play date.” If she starts to question you, you can offer a slight hint but the intention is create an air of mystery and fun. Then you need to start working on the type of activities you will take part in. You could consider some of the following activities:

  • Watch a lighthearted family movie
  • Draw pictures and create collages – create your own visionary boards for romance and this can give you clues as to what she needs from you.
  • Write stories and then finish each other’s stories… Once upon a time… and you’d be surprised at what comes out plus it can give you a clue as to her state of mind.
  • Make up a game or participate in your favorite game from childhood
  • Go to the park, go camping, visit the zoo, hang out with your own, hers, your siblings, friends, kids. Offer to baby sit the kids for a day because often just being around kids can make finding your own inner child a lot easier. Children have a fresh look on things, and sometimes when we get in bad moods it is because we are so jaded with the world around us. Experiencing life through the eyes of a child can really do wonders for naturally rediscovering a good mood.
  • If possible, take a trip to Disneyland or some theme park.
  • Blindfold one another, spin one another around and then see how you fall and feel all dizzy. Try feeding each other blindfolded. This can soon lead to something more romantic and intimate.
  • Buy some play dough and make shapes.
  • Play 20 questions, pull out some old board games, Scrabble, Monopoly, an old deck of cards.
  • Build a tent in the living room out of sheets, pillows and whatever else you can lay your hands on.
  • Ride your bikes, or borrow some other kids bikes and if this is too immature for you, go for more mature bikes and hire a Harley Davidson for an hour or two (assuming you have your license and all protective gear) and go riding off in the sunset with the wind in your hair.

The intention with this kind of date with your girl is to just let all the angst go and live and let live. Enjoy the moment and your youth, no matter what age you are. I know of couples who still dine out on the ‘mischievous practical jokes’ they got up to when they experienced with the “play date” idea. After all, what have you got to lose? Your dignity? Since when do children worry about dignity?

Is He Ready For A Serious Relationship?

By

Dating is fun, but sometimes you want to move on to something more committed. How can you tell if your partner is ready to move past the dating phase?

I’m dating this amazing guy. But I’m the first girl he’s dated seriously since his last serious relationship ended. I want a future with him, and I’m ready to open myself up and give my heart to him, but I want to be sure. How do I know I’m not his rebound girl?

What She Said:

Beware of “Ghost Sex!” He may like you; or he could mentally be placing his ex-girlfriend’s face on your body and going to town. Sorry to sound so crass – but the old adage, “The best way to get over someone is get under someone” is often true. I’m sure he enjoys your company; but the fact is, depending on how recent the breakup, your presence might just be keeping him warm until his heart has healed.

Are You A Rebound?

How to spot a rebound? Be honest with yourself. Does he talk about her a lot? Are there still pictures everywhere? Does he seem angry or flinch if her name is brought up? If so, chances are his mind is still on the relationship and not in the present with you. If it was a long-term relationship, his penis will most likely be ready to move on before his heart. If you’re looking for sex and nothing more, this can be a fun time for both of you. If you’re hooked on this guy, stay away until he’s had time to sort things out.

Honestly, if I’m into a guy, my rule of thumb is to not be the first girl he’s with after a serious relationship. I find that you’re usually dealing with the fallout of the past and not the good stuff. Even guys need time to work through their feelings – whether they show it or not. It’d be great to move on as if nothing ever happened – but the hurt is there somewhere, and it will find a way to come out.

Getting His Mind On YOU

You’re worth 100% of his attention. Again, if you’re looking for a fling, this is a fine time to get some no strings attached lovin’. But, given that you’re bummed out, I’d cool it with this guy. Chances are if you set your boundaries and treat yourself with respect, it’ll be you and not his ex he’s thinking about in no time.

What He Said:

I feel really old, because I thought “Ghost Sex” involved Whoopi Goldberg, Demi Moore, and Patrick Swayze. Nevertheless, I am undaunted and proudly declare “Ghost Sex” to be my new favorite word and hereby dedicate the remainder of my existence to the gratuitous use of the term until it gets old for me (hint: it won’t. I’m like a five year old.)

Here’s a thought: if you haven’t met his friends, or if he doesn’t spend money on you or if you only meet in the backseat of his car, then well, you’re just for fun. You really need to figure out how long it’s been since the end of his last serious relationship and how serious was it (marriage, living together, etc) and how messy or amicable was the break up.

Trust Your Gut Feelings

Recovery time is a tricky thing. Everyone heals from injury at different speeds, so he may be ready for another relationship right away. Or maybe not. And he may not know where he’s at in that process. So go with your gut if it feels right, then it is. If it doesn’t, well…it’s time to cut the cord.

Online Dating: How To Pimp A Guy’s Profile

By

Online dating requires a catchy profile to be successful. Here’s how to make one that gets the ladies’ attention.

I’m a guy trying online dating. It’s not working for me. What can I do to pimp my profile?

What She Said:

I’m a throwback to the olden (golden) days when I saw a guy in a club, batted my eyelashes and waited him for to come over and chat me up. And now I’m a married lady who doesn’t need that, so I’m relatively unfamiliar with the online dating world. But, that’s me and this is about you!

How to pimp your online dating profile? Think like the gender you’re trying to attract. For example: if you want to attract girls, you might want to put things in your profile that appeal to them. This doesn’t mean resorting to schmaltzy “I like puppies and long walks on the beach.” It does mean truthfully highlighting qualities you think a date might enjoy. Are you a foodie? Mention your love of fine dining and a few of your favorite restaurants. Are you game to watch a romantic comedy or two? Throw out your favorite titles – don’t be afraid!

Humor is also a great approach. Showing a sense of fun means you’re at ease with yourself and that you’re open and relaxed. Dating can be stressful enough – no need to take it (or yourself) too seriously!

What sets you apart? Your unique interests will not only stand out, they might also help you nab the perfect date. The key is to be honest. I know honesty and the Internet don’t necessarily go hand in hand – but this is your life. Assuming you’re truly looking for a date and not a booty call, telling the truth will help steer someone your direction who has the potential to be your perfect match.

What He Said

It comes down to this: if you want a 10, why should she choose you? She’s got tons of options. She’s obviously not into the bar thing, because if she was, she wouldn’t be online. You’re selling a product, and that product is you. But if you look at effective marketing campaigns, they don’t sell a product, they sell a feeling. How is this product going to make me feel if I buy it? That’s essentially what your ad should convey. You shouldn’t lie. You shouldn’t embellish. You shouldn’t be yourself. You should be your best, most confident self.

Be who you are and be proud and let them get an accurate picture of who and what you are. Be funny, be fun. You can’t really make anyone choose you. But you can make an incredibly compelling offer that anyone in their right mind would be unable to refuse.

How will you know if you’ve done that? Well, if you get emails and dates, etc. If you email a bunch of women and your emails get crickets in response, then you need to do something different. Continue to experiment until you have found the desired result. And be patient. That might take a while. And don’t take anything personally. It’s not like they’re rejecting you, they’re rejecting a representation of you. And if that representation isn’t working, just change it and continue to tweak until it does.