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Q&A: She Thinks I’m Gay! How Do I Ask Her Out?

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Asking a girl out is intimidating, but it can be even scarier if your crush thinks you’re gay! Did you do something to make her think that you’re gay? If you did, how can you reverse it? Is she just not interested in you, or does she really think you’re into guys instead of girls? How can you ask her out and prove to her that you’re not gay?

Question: I need help because I like this girl, so I asked my friends how to approach her about going out and they told me to just go up to her and be nice. I did exactly that but I think I must have been too nice and friendly because now she thinks I’m gay. How do I prove that I’m not to her and show her how I feel?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1WFYLJP9NY[/youtube]

How She’s Using The Term “Gay”

While most people are beginning to realize that using the word “gay” as slander – like using the word “retarded” as slander – is just not appropriate, some people still loosely use the term “gay” in conversation and it has nothing to do with sexuality. Many people still use the word “gay” like they might use the word “lame” or “uncool,” in regular conversation. If your crush said that she thinks you’re gay, can you be sure that she meant homosexual? She may not have. Consider the possibility that she’s just not into you and used the term “gay” as slander.

Making A Choice

In this situation, you have a decision to make. You can either ask her out or let it go. If you let it go, you’ll never know what she really meant. But by letting it go, you can avoid any further hurt feelings. You can also choose to simply ask her out. It’s entirely possible that she’ll say no – whether she truly believes you’re homosexual or just thinks you’re lame – but you’ll never know for sure unless you ask her out. She may really believe that you are gay, and may be pleasantly surprised to find out that you aren’t. However, if she turns you down for whatever reason, it’s ok. Continue dating and move on to the next girl that catches your eye and do your best to make a good impression on her. Regardless of the possible outcome and how much each one may intimidate you, it’s important not to sit on making a decision and never choose to either ask her out or let it go. Waiting too long to make a decision because you’re too scared to choose isn’t going to get you anywhere!

Making The Best Impression

When you want to make the best impression on a girl, it’s important to be yourself and let your true personality shine through. Not everyone may like it, and some people might think you’re gay, straight, bisexual or make some other assumption about you, you will feel much better in the long run if you’ve stayed true to yourself. You’ll also end up finding a partner who is into the real y0u, and not somebody you’re pretending to be!

Q&A: What Went Wrong On The First Date

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So many things can go wrong on a first date – but sometimes it seems as nothing went wrong and it still ends up getting weird for seemingly no reason! This can be incredibly frustrating, especially if you feel as though the date actually went well. What do you do if it seems like all of a sudden they’re just not that into you? How can you find out why?

Question: I went on a date this guy who has been flirting with me for about a month and a half. He put his arm around me, we held hands, and we were cheek to cheek. I really like him, and I thought the date went well. But I guess he didn’t because he’s only talked to me a couple times since then, but not like he used to. Why is he doing this? What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KW2_er1NCk[/youtube]

Was There Chemistry On His Part?

Sometimes during a first date, one person feels lots of chemistry but the other may not. Even if you and your date end up holding hands, hugging or even kissing good night, this doesn’t mean that the chemistry is there for him. Often, physical things such as hand holding happen on a date just because it seems natural to do – it’s not a good indicator of whether both parties are really into each other or not. If your date isn’t calling you back or avoiding you all together, he may not just have had that chemistry with you and that’s ok. Sometimes it’s just not there.

He Wants To Avoid The Situation

It may be hard for a guy or girl to admit that although the first date seemed to go really well, that they just didn’t click with you. Often, they’ll just try to avoid the situation all together such as avoiding calling or talking to you. This can be incredibly frustrating though, and leave you wondering just what exactly you did wrong to deserve being given the cold shoulder. Don’t take it personally! It’s unlikely that you actually did something wrong during the date or upset them in some way – it’s more probable that your date is avoiding you because they’re afraid to tell you that the chemistry just wasn’t there.

If You Want To Know, Ask

If you want to know if you really did do something during the first date that pushed them away, or if you want to know if it just didn’t click for them, just ask! It may seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. There’s nothing wrong with casually asking what happened. Tell your date that you just don’t want it to be weird and it would be better if it were out in the open. If they didn’t have that chemistry with you, that’s fine. You can be friends if they want, or nothing at all. But there is nothing wrong with simply asking them what is going on because you deserve to know! It doesn’t have to be complicated if you don’t make it complicated.

Q&A: How To Gain The Confidence To Ask A Girl Out

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It takes a lot of confidence to ask a girl out. Truth is, the only confidence you need to get the girl is self confidence. If you don’t have enough confidence in yourself as a person, you’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out, whether it’s any girl or the girl of your dreams. Can you get enough self confidence to ask a girl out?

Question: How do you get a girl if you don’t have much confidence in yourself? Do you think some one can find somebody if they don’t have any self confidence? How can you gain confidence to ask her out?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cod0arR1HCQ[/youtube]

Believing In Yourself

Not having enough self confidence can be bad for you in more ways than just not being comfortable asking a girl out. Not having confidence in yourself will affect your job and your social life too. It’s important to have self confidence for a happy, successful life, in addition to having enough confidence to start dating. So it’s time to build yourself up. Start thinking about the great things about yourself rather than dwelling on all of your mistakes and wrongdoings. We all make mistakes, we’re human. Start figuring out what you like about yourself. Chances are, if you are confident enough to like something about yourself, other people will like it too.

Stop Seeking Outside Approval

People have a bad habit of seeking approval of themselves from others. Whether it’s your boss, your partner, your girlfriend or boyfriend or your spouse, people seek their approval before approving themselves. That’s absolutely backwards! You have to approve of yourself and be comfortable with yourself first before anyone else will approve of you. If you continue seeking outside approval of yourself, you’ll never get it. Start by looking within for self acceptance, so you can start to like yourself and be at peace with yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

Practice Makes Perfect

There’s nothing you have to lose if you ask a girl out and she says no. You’re just right back where you started. Frustrating as it is, it’s not a good reason to be shy and avoid asking girls out. You’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out until you practice doing it first! So maybe you don’t want to practice on the girl, but why not head up a bar or coffee shop and ask a girl out there, just to do it? She might say no, but at least you’ll have gotten some experience asking her out. You can also get over your shyness with girls by hanging out with them. Get to know the female species and what they’re all about. Girls can be difficult to understand, but by hanging out with them, you can get to know what they like and what they don’t like and you’ll get more comfortable just simply being around them. Also, if you’re too shy to ask a girl out, just go up to her and ask a question. Start a conversation. It doesn’t have to end in a date, but if you don’t go up and talk to her, it’s going to end in nothing at all. Girls love to talk and have conversations, especially if you’re the one asking her questions.

Q&A: Web Cam Romance And Sex On The First Date

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More and more people are using the Internet to meet people, and with inventions such as Skype, web cams and audio chatting, it can sometimes be like you’re in the same room with someone. But is web camming only good for sexy hookups, or can real relationships be built from online introductions?

Hi, I have a question. I’ve been web camming with this guy for like a month and a few weeks now. We are going to meet soon, but I am worried that it’s too much sex. We will probably have sex on the first date, is this bad? I know you said intimacy can be at any time, but is the first date too soon? Can relationships come out of hook ups?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFURANUsYwk[/youtube]

Decide What You Want

Do you want a sex-only relationship with this person? A hookup or a quickie, or a friend with benefits? Because that’s what you’re setting yourself up for. If that’s what you’re looking for, then go for it! But if you’re looking for a relationship to come out of your web camming and chatting, you need to let your friend know. Don’t lead him into thinking he’s got a booty call relationship now, if you want something more from it. Let him know that you like him and want to take it further. See if he’s on the same page.

A Relationship With Your Own Fantasy

Often, when we develop relationships with people online, our brains are filling in the gaps that a normal, face to face relationship wouldn’t have. You aren’t truly getting to know this person, their mannerisms and their personality – you are only getting to know one facet of them. Instead of taking that for what it is though, our brains are really good at inventing what we don’t know. Therefore, you truly are getting to “know” this fantasy version you have of this person instead of getting to know the real person. That can lead to a great deal of let down later on when you really do meet and get to know them. You’re most likely subconsciously creating a fantasy version of your friend that he or she could never possibly live up to.

Taking It Slow

If you’re looking to begin a real relationship with this person, take it slow when you meet them face to face. While you may be tempted to have sex on the first date, especially if you’ve been “intimate” with them before online, this is only going to label the relationship as being about sex. Get to know your partner just as though you were getting to know someone you met for the first time in person. Just because you and your friend have chatted and web cammed online, doesn’t mean you two know each other a great deal more than two people who just met. Treat the relationship that way and take it slow if you want it to develop into something more. If you’re simply looking for a quick, sexy hookup, have fun and be safe!

Best Flirting And Seduction Articles Of 2009

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We know how tough snagging a date can be, and how flirting or seducing someone can feel awkward and uncomfortable. Fortunately, there’s hope for those of you who are sometimes intimidated by getting stuck in the “friend zone” or letting someone know you really like them and want to spend more time with them. This year, we’ve had some of our best flirting and seduction articles that give you the tips and suggestions you want on how to tell if someone likes you, how to attract a woman or man, and how to flirt and seduce someone you’re interested in. Whether you’re shy when it comes to dating and potential relationships or as confident as they come, check out 2009’s can’t-miss flirting and seduction articles!