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The Art Of The Innerview

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Mastering the art of the inner-view is worth every effort; slowing down, taking time to get to know someone and asking the tough questions, waiting to see if someone’s answers are revealed in their actions, remembering all the while that real love cannot be negotiated and great relationships begin within. And why not? What better investment is there when it comes to the real thing; authentic connection, the foundation for a loving, lasting relationship? Unless you’re convinced posturing, playing games and being insincere in an effort to gain power or avoid being hurt is the way to go.

What To Know Before The First Date

Either way, finding out that the person you are sincerely interested in is; already in a relationship, married with 2 children, has absolutely no interest in being in a relationship with you, or just wants to use you for sex, isn’t pleasant. And if being in a great relationship were really as simple as having the right chemical reaction at the right time, stating the obvious would be way more fun (and I wouldn’t be writing this blog).

Let’s get to that one thing you should know before you head out on a first date, as promised in the last blog. We have talked about the importance of checking out who someone else is, what they are bringing to the “party,” but we haven’t really talked much about what will happen when the shoe is on the other foot; when the person you’re interested in starts asking YOU.

I was just thinking this morning, What if I were single, what would I be afraid of someone asking me, or maybe want to take my time divulging? You may not want to mention a host of things to someone you have just met, but the bottom line is; whatever your secrets, they will eventually create separation if you don’t come to terms with them. There are some things we did and have enough distance from that we can joke about; then there are things we have done that we might feel ashamed of (or still be doing) that we would rather someone not know, ESPECIALLY when we first meet. The one thing you should keep in mind before you go out on a date is the expression “If you can dish it out, be prepared to take it!” Another way of saying that is; be kind and graceful when you ask the tough questions as a rule, but also because you know there are things you yourself may still feel tender about! This is an inquiry, not an investigation. Please be graceful when asking, forthcoming when asked.

Questions To Ask On The First Date

Here are the five questions everyone looking for a healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship should ask (or find out) on a first date:

  1. If the person is actually single; not married, separated but sleeping in separate bedrooms, etc.
  2. If they are available emotionally available (not still recovering from the last relationship)
  3. If they want a real relationship or are only in it for the sex
  4. Have had any long-term relationships or evidence that they are capable of commitment
  5. If they want children, I know this is tough on a first date but could be a potential nightmare and heartache if you don’t get real about it right away!

So there you have it my beloveds, stay tuned for my new book coming out called DIRT, Plan B: 101 Questions That Make Or Break A Great Relationship!

Q&A: How To Tell If She Wants To Have Sex With You

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If you’re wondering whether a girl wants to have sex with you or not, you’re not alone! Many guys are in the dark when it comes to communicating with a girl, especially when it comes to a topic as delicate as whether she wants to have sex or not. Some girls just come right out and say if they want to have sex with you, but other girls are a little more subtle about it. Here’s how to pick up on the little things that she might do that will let you know that she’s interested in getting down and dirty with you.

Question: How EXACTLY do you know when a girl wants you to have sex with her, because I don’t want to pressure her or anything. I’m just waiting on her to give me a sign!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYnbqPH3byA[/youtube]

What Her Body Language Will Tell You

Lots of women communicate with their body language rather than telling you exactly what they want you to know. Sure, it may seem frustrating at first, but once you learn how to read body language, you’ll be appreciative of the unspoken gestures that let you know what she wants and how she’s feeling. Women who want to have sex with men will automatically gravitate towards them physically, so she may stand very close to you and be facing you most of the time you and her are around each other. She may rub her body against you on “accident,” for example, if she’s passing by you or leaning over you to get something. She may accidentally brush her butt or breasts and nipples up against you if she’s near you. She also may touch you a lot when you’re talking with her, for example, laying her hand on your knee or arm.

When She Makes Eye Contact With You

Eye contact is a biggie for women and most, if not all, women will make some serious eye contact with a guy they want to get into bed with. She may look you directly in the eyes when you and her are talking, or she may watch your lips as you’re talking. This may mean that she wants to kiss you, or of course, do other things with your lips than just talking. She may also look up and down your body or very obviously check you out when you walk away. Eye contact, along with body language, is one of the easiest ways to tell that she’s into you sexually. If she keeps looking at you and her attention doesn’t seem to be elsewhere, it’s a pretty safe bed that she wants something more.

If She Compliments You

Sure, women will complement your clothes or your hair, but if a woman wants you sexually, she’ll complement more than that. She’ll complement your body parts, such as how big and strong your arms or legs are, or how great you look in a swimsuit. She may put her hands on your shoulders or neck and exclaim how firm they are, or even compliment your hands or lips.

If She Wants Alone Time With You

If you and your girl are hanging out with friends and her friends are ready to go, she may be fine with letting them go and staying to hang out with you. She may try to get you alone every chance she gets! When a girl goes out of her way to try to get alone time with you, she’s trying to find a window in which she can make a move on you or prompt you to make a move on her.

If She Brings Up Sexual Topics

A woman that wants to have sex with you may not come right out and say it, however, she may have nothing on her mind but sex and that will definitely come out in the conversation. She may bring up sexual topics such as breast enlargement, sex tips, funny sex stories or anything to do with sex at all. She may start a friendly debate about whether or not girls can have a libido as high as a man’s, or she may ask you what you like in the bedroom! Either way, if she’s talking about sex, she’s most likely wanting sex with you.

When She Comes Right Out And Tells You

While most guys have to interpret body language and eye contact to figure out if a girl wants to hop in bed with them, there are a few women who will just come right out and say it. She may invite you back to her house for “drinks” or suggest going over to yours after hanging out with friends. Of course, if your girl does, lucky for you!

What Are Pheromones And Do They Really Work?

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There are lots of ways to attract the opposite sex, such as wearing sexy clothes, putting on makeup or splashing on some great smelling cologne. However, our natural scent, called pheromones, are on of the most powerful ways to attract someone. Animals and insects have used pheromones for millenia to attract mates and to find food. Here’s how you can use pheromones yourself to improve your love life!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgM9l2MH2Bc[/youtube]

What Are Pheromones?

Pheromones are a chemical that is excreted from humans, insects or animals that will affect the behavior of others. There are many different kinds of pheromones that can be excreted, such as pheromones that alert others of danger, pheromones that alert others where food is and of course, sex pheromones that help animals and insects find a mate. Science has long debated the existence of pheromones in humans, however, many scientists and researchers believe that all humans have the potential to communicate with each other through producing pheromones.

Do Pheromones Really Work?

Animals have used pheromones for many years successfully. They are able to attract their mates through the use of secreted pheromones, as well as let other members of the same species know where food is or if there is danger nearby. Humans are mammals and are very similar to many animals in a lot of ways, so it follows logic that humans would be able to secrete pheromones as well.  Probably the most powerful of human pheromones is the sex pheromone. Human sex pheromones will attract members of the opposite sex, making them feel relaxed, happy and aroused when around the pheromone. Real human pheromones aren’t easily obtainable, however, many companies have successfully manufactured synthetic pheromones for use by both men and women. A variety of studies shows that synthetic human pheromones are extremely successful in attracting members of the opposite sex! Pheromones are usually without noticeable scent and can be combined with your favorite cologne or perfume. The olfactory system picks up the pheromones through the nose and transmits the chemical signals the pheromones create to the brain. With sex pheromones, feelings of attraction, relaxation and arousal are transmitted to the brain of members of the opposite sex, instantly making them more attracted to you. Many people use pheromones when dating and going out to meet people, whether they’re going to a bar, a club or a bookstore. Instead of worrying about pickup lines and how to get yourself noticed, people who wear pheromones find that people are coming up to them!

What Happens When You Stop Using Pheromones?

Many people are concerned that after meeting someone and developing a relationship with them through the use of pheromones that the relationship and attraction will end after the use of pheromones is stopped. While pheromones do a great job of helping people to attract the opposite sex, they do nothing to develop and nurture a great relationship. Once you’ve attracted someone through using pheromones and you’ve built a relationship with them, the relationship isn’t going to be affected if you stop using the pheromones. There is a great deal more to a lasting relationship than just scent! However, when looking to meet people of the opposite sex, pheromones will definitely help get you noticed – in a good way!

Hot Sex And How To Get It

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Seduction is an art and some say women have all the tools they need to be great at it. When it comes to sex, a woman needs to work her way inside a man’s defenses, making him susceptible to her wiles and making him hot enough to forget himself and just attack her in the most delicious way possible.

Why do women go to such lengths to seduce men? To get hot sex, of course. Here are some ways to maximize your time in the bedroom with your man and get more than just so-so sex.

Understand That What Turns Him On

You know the old adage about women being more sensual and men being more visual? Most of the time, this “rule” applies. However, men can be extremely sensual too. Eating ice cream together and letting him lick your fingers will remind him of the things he wants to do to you. He gets turned on when you hold his hand, and when you rub some wax on his hair.

Some men need more to get aroused, and there is no fixed item or action that can make a man go wild in bed. Your best bet is to understand your man completely and figure out what floats his boat.

Men Like Erotica Too

Saying that men are only into hardcore porn is stereotypical and an affront to your man’s artistic comprehension. Erotica turns men on, but only if presented in a way that can actually turn him on. For your next sexual adventure, why not whip out your favourite erotica literature and read it to him, poetry style. It helps if you whisper the words in his ear, and lick his ear while you’re at it.

Costume Play

Most guys are into video games, or at least they were in high school and grade school. Even if they do not play as often as they used to, they’re still thrilled when you put on a sexy costume that makes them feel like they entered a role playing game of some sort. If he has other fetishes, make sure you indulge him by wearing what he likes most.

Give Him a “Free Pass” or Tie Yourself Up

If he’s particularly stressed or if you haven’t been doing anything naughty lately, it’s time to give him a way to de-stress and be his old playful self. You can tie yourself up, gift-wrap style, and present yourself as his “gift” for a job well done.

Alternatively, you can inform him that he can do anything he wants with you for one night. Ironically, offering to be his sex slave will turn him into your sex slave.

Best Flirting And Seduction Articles Of 2009

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We know how tough snagging a date can be, and how flirting or seducing someone can feel awkward and uncomfortable. Fortunately, there’s hope for those of you who are sometimes intimidated by getting stuck in the “friend zone” or letting someone know you really like them and want to spend more time with them. This year, we’ve had some of our best flirting and seduction articles that give you the tips and suggestions you want on how to tell if someone likes you, how to attract a woman or man, and how to flirt and seduce someone you’re interested in. Whether you’re shy when it comes to dating and potential relationships or as confident as they come, check out 2009’s can’t-miss flirting and seduction articles!