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I’ve Got The Hots For One Of My Roommates!

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A booty call can be a lot of fun – but it can also complicate things a great deal if you happen to be living with the person you want to hook up with! It’s not at all uncommon for young roommates of the opposite sex to be attracted to each other – you’re often seeing your roommate in their most vulnerable (and sexiest) situations such as being in the shower or sleeping soundly in their bed. Since you see your house mate often, it’s absolutely natural that you would be thinking about them often. It’s also natural for you to be interested in them in a romantic or sexual way. But does this mean you should act on your feelings and make your roomie a booty call? Or would the wisest thing be to keep your feelings to yourself?

I’m living in a house with a bunch of roommates (Real World style!). I’m attracted to one of the guys and we’ve been flirting a lot – but we’re putting off getting together for fear of complicating our living situation. Neither one of us can afford to move out if things go bad, but we really want to hook up. Thoughts?

What She Said:

I guess it’ll depend on what’s stronger – your libido or your desire to keep your living situation comfortable! I’ll be interested to hear which one wins out.

Ask Yourself Questions First

Here are a few questions to ask yourself before diving in: How strong is the connection? Is it worth possibly putting your living situation in jeopardy? Is this a hookup for sex or do you both want a relationship? If it’s an in-house booty call, how will you feel if he brings home another girl? How will it affect the dynamics of your household? Are you both mature enough to handle it if it doesn’t work out? Of course you can’t know the answers to these questions for sure, but it’ll behoove the situation if you can push yourself by playing devil’s advocate.

If you’re like the rest of us, my guess is that you’ll give in to hooking up – and that’s okay! If you decide to proceed, the best you can do is move forward with a mutual respect for each other – and, if you’re really smart, the utmost respect for your roommates. That means keeping your private time private; and if things do go awry, don’t drag your household into the drama.

You can do the pros and cons list all day long – but hopefully you’ll go with your gut and do what’s best for you. But keep that piggy bank full, just in case.

What He Said:

Hooking up with someone you live with when neither of you could afford to move out if something goes awry? What could possibly be wrong with this scenario?

Sure there’s a lot that COULD go right with this scenario, but is the juice worth the squeeze? That’s what it comes down to. I’m not you and I’m not there, so I can’t speak to that, but I can say I have trouble imagining a situation where the positives outweigh the negatives.

Could the sex be mind blowing? Could this person be the great love of your life? Sure, but they could also go batshit crazy on you and you’re stuck there in a really weird living situation.

And then so are your roommates. Maybe this other person doesn’t go psycho, but how will this affect your roommate dynamic? What if one of your roommates wants to hook up with this person and you do first? That can’t be good. Either way you’re going to be affecting the dynamics in the living situation – you can try and see how it works out. Could it work out, I guess so, but why would you really want to try? No, seriously, tell me. I’m curious.

How To Tell If You Are Really More Than Friends?

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Dating is difficult when you feel like you’re more than friends but just aren’t sure. It’s easy to meet someone and begin a friendship with them, only to start feeling more for them than you originally did as you get to know them. However, taking a friendship to dating can be intimidating, because sometimes you’re not really sure how the other person feels.

If you ask your friend out and they don’t feel the same way as you, you risk ruining the friendship because things will be different after you let them know you have romantic feelings towards them. It’s better to know (for the most part) if you and your friend are actually more than that – so how can you tell if you and your “friend” should start REALLY dating?

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She’s Going To Want To Spend Time With You

If the girl you’re interested in has romantic feelings for you too, she’s going to want to spend as much time with you as possible. She’s going to make excuses to see you and be around you.

She’s Going To Be Okay If The Conversation Turns Sexual

If she’s into you, she’s not going to shy away if the conversation turns towards sex. If she’s not and just wants to be your friend, she’s going to shy away from sexual conversation and stick to topics that are completely platonic. So test her out and bring up a topic that is just a little sexual to see how she reacts – does she shy away from the conversation or does she actively participate in it? If she actively participates in a sexual conversation – and even takes it a little further – it’s a safe bet that she digs you.

You Will Feel It

The energy with friends isn’t the same as the energy you feel when you have an actual connection with someone. If you’ve ever felt that feeling before, you know exactly what it is – there’s no mistaking it. Guys who have never had this connection with someone may not be sure how it feels – but rest assured that you really will know when you do feel it. Pay attention and be looking for that – if you’re not experiencing that real connection, you’re most likely really just friends.

Is She Into The Next Step?

To find out if the girl you like is into taking the next step with you, you have to realize it’s not all about what she says. You have to pay attention to her body language, because she may not be saying anything that lets you know she’s into you at all. Her body language will, however, tell you whether she’s digging you or not. If she is, she’s going to make excuses to get in your space, making eye contact with you and laughing and having a good time with you. Here are some easy ways to tell if she’s ready for you to make the next move.

  • She starts dropping hints for you to make a move
  • When you flirt or are being playful, she reciprocates and shares in the witty banter
  • She opens up and seems to want to talk about more personal topics
  • She’s happy to see you or talk to you
  • She finds excuses to touch you or brush up against you
  • When you touch her, she doesn’t back away – she may even lean closer to you

Don’t Wait Too Long!

If you feel that energy and everything seems to be lining up, don’t wait too long to make a move. Just make it! Ask her out! Don’t wonder whether she’s really into you or not, or second guess yourself. So many guys second guess themselves so much that the girl they like – and who likes them back – thinks that he’s not interested in her! If you feel that romantic connection, go for it! If you wait too long to ask a girl out, you may end up missing the moment entirely.

Relax And Have Fun

If you’re so keyed up and worried about figuring out whether a girl likes you back or not, you may miss key signs that she really does like you. You definitely want to be aware of those signs so you can make the next move if you sense she’s into you too. So take a deep breath and relax! Have confidence that you’ll know when things feel right and that she’ll give you plenty of signs to lead you in the right direction. Have fun and wait for that special connection to happen!

How To Be Her Dream Guy

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Great dating advice can help you learn how to be every woman’s romantic fantasy. You can try to guess at what a woman wants in a man, or you can know for sure with these great tips. Here’s how to be everything she ever wanted!

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Have A Strong Identity

The importance of having confidence in who you are and having a strong identity can’t be emphasized enough here. Think of yourself as the “product” and you’re “selling” this product to women – do you believe in what you’re selling? Do you like what you’re selling and do you think it’s a great product? If you don’t like what you’re selling, no one else will either!

Learn to get comfortable with who you are and what you have to offer. This will not only help attract women to you, it will also help you to know more about the kind of women that you could possibly have great chemistry with. Focus on being fun, energetic and exciting for others to be around – you want to be the kind of guy that has lots of friends that truly enjoy hanging out and having great conversations.

You also want to find your strengths and accentuate them. You don’t want to be the kind of guy that blends in with everyone else, because then girls aren’t going to notice you at all! You want to find what is unique about yourself and show that off. If you stand out from the crowd a little bit because of something that is special about you, that’s a good thing!

Learn How To Be Comfortable In Social Situations

No girl has a “dream guy” that sits in the corner at a party and doesn’t talk to anyone. Girls want a man who is passionate, has things to talk about and wants to talk about them with other people. So if you’re not comfortable in large groups or in social situations, you want to work on this. Practice makes perfect, so put yourself out there. The more you expose yourself to social situations, the more comfortable you will begin to be in them. As you do this, your self confidence will soar!

Be Someone She Can Be Proud Of

This is perhaps one of the best bits of dating advice out there. While women can and will fall in love with guys who they can’t be proud of, you don’t want this to be you! If you really want a girl to fall for you, you’ve got to be someone she can be proud to introduce to her friends and family. You want to be someone she can bring up in a conversation, rather than the topic she’s trying to avoid in a conversation.

Have an awesome job, volunteer or do things that you’re passionate about. Have short term and long term goals, and don’t be afraid to tell people about what you’re striving for. She will see and admire the things that you love doing that make you who you are – and this is what she will brag about to her friends and family when she is dating you!

Get Comfortable Being Romantic And Sensual

Women love sensuality and romance, period. If you can’t bring this to the table, it’s not likely you’re going to be any girl’s fantasy. Get comfortable with showing women affection, touching them and kissing them. When you kiss a woman, make it something that she remembers! If you don’t know how to be romantic or sensual with a woman, read up on seduction tips and how to really be intimate with a girl.

With physical intimacy comes emotional intimacy, so you don’t want to wall yourself of emotionally. Get comfortable with experiencing your feelings, talking about them and being in touch with your emotions. Don’t be afraid to open up to a girl and let her see that you’re a little emotionally vulnerable. Yes, you’re taking the risk of getting hurt here, but ultimately, this is the piece of dating advice that will get her to fall head over heels for you.

Develop A Posture And Presence That Women Want To Be Around

Girls want to be around that strong, confident guy. They don’t want to be around a weak, wimpy guy that asks permission for everything. Learn to make decisions about date ideas, where to go and what to do. Let a girl know that she doesn’t have to worry about things when she’s with you. Show her that you’re the alpha male – and she’ll be putty in your hands.

I Keep Dating Mr. Wrong! Please Help!

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Are you dating all the wrong guys? Here’s how to break the cycle and find Mr. Right!

I’m like a magnet for all the wrong guys. I know the good ones are out there. I need to do something different. Help! Give me a plan!

What She Said:

Short answer? Try dating a different kind of guy! You obviously have a type – and your type isn’t working for you. Albert Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you’re always dating the same type of guy, guess what your chances are of having a different experience? Slim to none!

A real life example: A girlfriend of mine is a musician and, subsequently, she was always hanging out with band guys. They were all in the same downtown scene with lots of late nights and drinking. Fun, for sure – but a bit of a merry go round as far as relationships. The fellow musicians were cool, but tended to be “bad boys” when it came to dating. No surprise, right?

Well, my friend got tired of this and decided to make a big change. She stayed in her band but put all fellow musicians on her “platonic” list. She sat down and thought about what she really wanted in a relationship. She made a list of qualities that were important to her in a mate. Then she put a plan into action. She got out of her comfort zone and made an effort to meet new people. She didn’t want a bad boy/band guy anymore, even though that had long been her type – so she stopped hanging out in bars. Instead she went to museums, the gym and the library. She ended up meeting (and marrying) an anthropologist – a complete 180 from her exes. They’re celebrating their ten-year anniversary next month.

I swear I did not swipe this story from Lifetime Television! It might sound cheesy, but you get the drift. If you want something new, don’t wait around for it – go out and get it! You have to make a change if you want something different. Trust me, it’ll be worth it.

What He Said:

You continue to do the same things, you are still getting the same results. Make a list of everything you can think of in terms of your current love life: where did you meet these guys, what do they drive, what do they do, etc. Pretty soon you’ll have a profile. This will give you a clear example of what you want to avoid.

That’s only half the equation, the “what not to do” part of the deal. That’s very important. But it’s not the whole enchilada. You know what you don’t want. Now what?

You have identified the old pattern, the one you want to break. Now you work on establishing the new one. The one you want to create.

Figure out what guy you want. Pick a celebrity crush as a template. Figure out what makes this guy your type. What do you like about him? Brainstorm as much as you can, and be as specific as possible. Then figure out where you would go in your area to find that kind of guy. It’s like getting “the look for less” but with dudes.

So when you figure this out, go to where he is and hit on him. Or do online dating. Or run naked down the highway at rush hour. Something. Anything. Do something different. Otherwise, you’ll get the same results.

Good luck!

I Keep Dating Losers! Help!

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Dating means taking risks and knowing you might end up with a dud – but what if they keep coming along?

I just got out of a LTR with a guy who was a huge jerk. There’d been this guy flirting with me for months and since I was single, and he asked me out, I figured, why not?

We went out, back to his place and then we did it. And he never called me again. This loser makes my ex a great catch. Why do I keep finding these types of men?

What She Said:

Not to sound like my Grandma, but don’t let one bad apple spoil the bunch. You broke up with your ex for a reason and there’s no need to go running back to him at the first sign of bad news. Chalk it up to having fun having sex – and also one more step in moving on from your past. It’s shitty what your fling did to you – but that says everything about the type of person he can be and is no reflection on you.

I’m sure he wasn’t lying about being into you. He obviously spent time flirting and thinking about you. It’s more than likely that he dug you, but got scared at the possibility of you actually being single. You were an unobtainable fantasy that became real – and some people can’t handle real. Some guys want what they can’t have – and then don’t want it once they get it. It’s an immature side of human nature. Don’t beat yourself up over it!

Take this as a lesson. Hopefully you were safe and had fun. Now let it go.

Don’t let one night throw you back to the past. Enjoy being single! Focus on the bravery it took to split from your long-time BF and look towards a fabulous future. You have the freedom to create a new life, so get started today!

What He Said:

Shit happens. You got out of a relationship and you made a mistake. It’s a learning experience. It is not the end of the world. As long as you used protection, and you have been tested and all that, what’s the downside? You had some fun and more importantly, you learned an important lesson. Buyer beware. Just because something seems like a good idea, and people have good intentions, that’s not always the case.

And your ex isn’t better. He’s still a douchebag. You just are feeling nostalgic. There’s nothing magical that just happened to make him a better person, lover, etc. Just realize this is a thing that will pass. In time you’ll remember what a loser he is and more importantly, you will find someone better. Someone that you deserve and that makes you feel amazing. Give it time. This is a process and you’re still healing.

It’s a number’s game. Kiss enough frogs and you will find your prince. Relax and enjoy the ride. If you’re doing the work, you should just relax and expect your success. It is coming provided you put yourself out there and minimize your exposure to douchebags.

How do you do that? When you know, you know. If any guy remotely reminds you of your ex. Run. Be very conscious when making your choices and eventually, It’ll all come together.