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I’m In A Sexless Marriage! What Happened?

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Many people find themselves in sexless marriages. As unfortunate as it is, if you’re in a sexless marriage, you’re not alone.

Does that mean you have to live with it? Of course not! Here are some great ways to understand what is happening in your relationship and what you can do to fix it so you can turn the heat back up in your marriage.

First the sex was great… but suddenly I look up and I’m in a Sexless Marriage! What Happened?

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How Sexless Is Your Marriage?

Different couples have sex at different frequencies. Some married couples have sex once a week and they’re completely satisfied.

Other couples have sex once a week and they’re not satisfied. They feel like they should be having sex three or four times a week or even every day.

Whatever frequency of sex that makes you and your partner most comfortable and satisfied is your “magic” number. Don’t feel that if your friends or neighbors are having sex more often that you have to have sex the same amount or you’re not satisfied with your sex life.

Have sex as often or as little as it takes to keep both you and your partner happy and satisfied!

Hormonal Issues

If you truly aren’t satisfied with your sex life, it’s time to make a change. There’s no reason that you should not be in a marriage with a satisfying sex life!

There are a number of things that can contribute to a sexless marriage or an unsatisfying sex life, so it’s time to do a little digging.

Visit your doctor to rule out any physical reasons that might be decreasing you or your partner’s sex drive. Many couples in sexless marriages will find out from their doctor that they have an imbalance of hormones that is contributing to a lack of sex drive. Your doctor can help you determine if this is an issue for you and your partner or not.

Feeling Close Again

Another big culprit of sexless marriages is not feeling close to your partner. Feeling emotionally distant can really take a toll on your sex life. You no longer feel emotionally safe with your partner, so you desire being sexual with them less and less.

If you find that this is a major issue with you and your partner, it’s time to get back on track and work on being closer emotionally.

A great way to feel close to each other is to sleep in the nude. It may sound strange, but sleeping in the nude and having skin to skin contact releases “happy” hormones that not only make you feel closer to your partner, but improve your emotional and physical health as well.

In addition to that, you can start talking to your partner and opening up to them emotionally, provided they do the same with you. If you’re truly having trouble with this, a counselor or therapist can help you and your partner start seeing eye to eye again.

Once you and your partner become close again emotionally, you’ll find that you want to experience each other sexually again as well.

If you find you’re in a sexless marriage, take a few steps to try and get your relationship in the right direction. With time and effort, you can figure out what went wrong and how you can get right back to where you want to be – in the bedroom!

Avoid These 5 Marriage Proposal Mistakes That Leave Women Feeling Disappointed

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Did you know that a man once hospitalized his girlfriend trying to propose to her?

It’s true! He slipped the engagement ring into her shot glass and as they toasted to his speech, she swallowed it! Now, she survived, but they did need a trip to the emergency room.

In fact, it’s ‘embarrassing yet funny’ proposals like these that remind me of the 5 ways that guys totally DESTROY this precious moment for women by making horrendous mistakes. Please don’t make these mistakes…

1. CREATING A PUBLIC SPECTACLE

Whether it’s a party, family get-together or Yankee game, realize that you should never propose to your beloved if she wouldn’t feel comfortable with a public proposal.

Not only may it embarrass her, but she may feel pressured to say “Yes,” only to tell you the truth later. Bottom line, think about what sort of person your lady is: Is she shy, cautious or a little reserved? Then maybe a private proposal is the better way to go.

2. “OVER-DOING” THE PROPOSAL

Some men’s idea of an amazing proposal is slapping together all the “usual” romantic things into one big event and calling it a “marriage proposal.” Sadly, this couldn’t be further from the truth. For example: A man serves the candlelit dinner, presents her flowers, chocolates, a teddy bear and then proposes to her.

Yuck. I’m sorry, but if you believe your lady deserves the most magnificent experience of her life, then understand that normal “everyday romance” is only good for… everyday romance! ­ not a proposal. She’ll never admit it, but she’ll most likely be disappointed.

3. BEING UNPREPARED

You usually only get one shot at your proposal so you MUST get it right! No pressure :D. Always rehearse through the things that could go wrong, create backup plans and please make sure your proposal idea is safe! If you’re creating a more elaborate proposal, you’ll need extra caution.

Physically rehearse through the situations, discover what could go wrong and work out solutions around them. Get your friends together and brainstorm the sticky situations that could come up on the day. Of course, life is unpredictable and things may change but be prepared the best you can.

4. SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY

Hang on! You’re probably wondering, “How is spending TOO MUCH money on a proposal a problem?” Well it all depends. The problem with money is that it often becomes a substitute for creativity. As a result, you get a “nice” memorable proposal but nothing that’s “jaw-dropping!”

5. USING A “DONE TO DEATH” PROPOSAL IDEA

Now here’s the biggest mistake of them all. Yes, coming up with creative and original ideas to propose is tough, but it’s a must if you want your moment to be remembered and talked about for years to come!

Your proposal needs to be personalized to your girlfriend. What are her favorite hobbies, music and interests? These are the starting points to an incredible proposal that everyone will talk about for years.

While the Eiffel tower, hot air balloons and getting the waiter to bring out the ring on a platter are “okay” ideas, they’re not creative and original enough for the most important and memorable moment of both your lives.

Is The Marriage Brand Under Attack? Take The Poll!

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A recent study conducted by the Parents Television Council reveals American television depiction of marriage is getting the short end of the stick compared to sexual imagery describing the “joys” of extra-marital sex, BDSM, swinging, and the like.

Such references, according to PTC, outnumber marital sex 3:1.

So? What’s Wrong With That?

So why is a study like this rubbing me the wrong way? Because this study is nothing short of a scare tactic trying its best to get viewers ashamed of themselves from ever talking about any sexual issues couples, married or not, are talking about in the real world.

“Why do you want to go down this road? Come back to marital sex; come back to the traditional and the true.” I wish we all could but judging by the recent divorce rates, the number of struggling marriages nationwide, and the number of extra marital affairs in the news and in private the marriage brand is looking pretty worn and dusted instead of new and busted.

How Does Society Affect The Marriage Bed?

Again the age old question of does television affect society or is society affecting television comes into play. We see how today many couples and singles are talking about everything from sex toys to an occasional “booty call”. In suburbia, we see couples mowing their yard and taking their kids to soccer practices all the time.

However, these same couples are out at the strip clubs or “swapping” with their neighbors when the sun goes down. Also in suburbia, the drama of couples making up and breaking up happens much more frequently (and without a Hollywood script) than on Wisteria Drive among the ladies from Desperate Housewives.

Marriage Statistics

In putting this story together one study from 2005 (from the New York Times) finds 51% of women are living without a spouse, up from 35%. The 2005 study also found married couples becoming the minority instead of the majority.

For the PTC blaming television of the ill news about marriage is both asinine and thoughtless. Or, to put it in the popular vernacular, it’s sounds like a “you” problem not a “we” problem.

The idea of marriage not getting a fair shake on television is ludicrous! Marriage for years is portrayed as the “cure all” to all sexual issues and lustful intentions. Someone forgot to tell those proponents it shouldn’t be used as a stop gate to begin with.

To blame television as the “ill” maker of society has more to do with the lack of creativity on the part of television executives and in Hollywood (i.e.–reality television) cheapening the airwaves with fast food programming then families and couples going through the struggles and challenges of everyday life.

The Real Problem

I find fault on many levels, but I think my biggest issue lies with the PTC itself. Why on God’s green earth do we need a group like this? Here is the groups statement describing the groups purpose:

The Parents Television Council (PTC) the nation’s most influential advocacy organization protecting children against sex, violence, and profanity in entertainment with more than one million members and growing!

Protecting children against sex, violence and profanity on television?? What about taking the fight to society against violence in society and how it is glorified in movies and media. How about letting parents deal with profanity in their own way stressing to children how these words are poor choices and find better ways to express their frustration.

Instead of your group trying to find sexual issues on every channel why not talk to your neighbors about it or maybe urge Hollywood and the main stream media to stop with the drivel of reality television and actually put on shows with intelligence and depth instead of dumbing down the populace.

America Has Had Enough!

American society is fed up and tired of being force fed the joys of martial bliss; we’re tired of being told marriage is going to solve all our problems. Truth is we all have our issues regarding relationships/sexuality coming from many voices with most of it not true.

To be told marriage will magically change the way we look and feel is a bold face lie. Why don’t we level with couples, young and old, about marriage. “Look, if you are getting married hoping you do things the right way or change the way you act and behave I think you two may need to do some heavy duty counseling before taking the next step. Why not talk to each other and find out what makes each of you tick. Honest straight talk, not the B.S. you call lover’s chit chat.”

I also think groups like the PTC need to disband and find a new aim instead of trying to harp on a subject which has more to do about society in general than the screen facing families day and night. They might find we’ve been talking about sex toys, swinging, voyeurism and the like for years and it’s the critics, not television, that’s behind the times.

3 Simple Ways To Create the Perfect Marriage Proposal

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Did you know that the most memorable marriage proposals are also the most creative and unique?

Problem is, the more you want to blow her away, the more frustrated and stressed you become by trying to come up with an original idea!

Not to worry.

Here are 3 ways to get your creativity flowing and come up with your winning proposal idea:

1. FIND THE “PERSONAL” TOUCH

Aww… your girlfriend likes restaurants. Well guess what? So does everyone else!

You need to dig for those unique and special things about your girlfriend that stand out, and use them as your starting point for proposal inspiration. Nothing speaks louder than a proposal that says, “I love you and understand you deeply” at the same time.

If you’re stuck for ideas, grab a piece of paper and think back to all the memorable moments while you two were dating. What are her favorite things to do? What place does she hold dear to her heart?

If she grew up on the beach, maybe you could take her to a high cliff near a magnificent beach where she grew up, and arrange for her to see the words, “Kim, will you marry me?” written in giant letters on the sand down below as the sun sets.

As another example: I once knew a girl who was totally OBSESSED with Superman. So in this case, instead of parachuting into a party to propose, why not do it in a Superman costume?

See where I’m going here? Your first step to a perfect proposal is making a list of all the things that are special to your loved one and using them as inspiration for your proposal.

2. ASK HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Believe it or not, no matter how long you’ve been dating, you’ll almost always discover some new “little known facts” about your girlfriend by simply asking her family and close friends. While these hidden gems might not spark a proposal idea themselves, they’ll certainly guide you in the right direction and further inspire you.

3. FIND THE **WOW** FACTOR

Want to know if your proposal will be exceptional? Explain your proposal idea to a female friend and if she isn’t “mouth-hitting-the-floor-with-astonishment” surprised, go back to the drawing board!

I’m serious.

This is the most important moment in her life (and yours!) If the proposal stinks, what’s she going to think about the YEARS ahead?

Some people say that you should keep proposals “safe” or “simple” by doing something that everyone’s already done before, but considering 80% of women said their proposals were less romantic than they’d hoped for, isn’t that telling you something? While most men spend lots of money on the ring, they often lack originality, which leaves the woman feeling disappointed.

In conclusion, if your proposal doesn’t excite friends and family, it certainly won’t excite your wife-to-be.

Thinking Of Tying The Knot? 5 Tips To Make Sure You Stay Together

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Did you know that love does NOT conquer all?

You see, often people get married with the idea that their “chemistry” or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s obvious that this isn’t the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married.

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot:

Tip #1 – Continue dating

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That’s why going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something about “dating” that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut.

While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for date ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.

Tip #2 – Delay is often better

It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period.

A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn’t romantic. It’s gambling.

Tip #3 – Always express your love

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they ‘assume’ their partner already knows what they’re thinking. When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner.

Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they’re the greatest person in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first.

When they’re feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?

Tip #4 – Take time to understand your partner

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, “I just don’t understand him/her.” So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate’s profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby?

If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don’t need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you’ll grow closer as a result.

Tip #5 – Answer the BIG questions

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married. I guess people think they’ll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong.

If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or “I love you’s” will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each other ‘inside-out’ BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.