Love & Relationships

How To Break Up Gracefully

A break up is never, ever easy. Yet many of us will encounter the need to end a romantic relationship at some point. How can you break things off without getting nasty? If you want to end it without causing excessive pain to your soon-to-be former significant other, there are steps you can take to ease the blow.

Step One: Get It Over With

First and foremost, don’t procrastinate. Once you’re certain you want to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, give yourself a day or two to plan how best to go about things, then carry out the break up. The longer you put things off, the more awkward it will be. Don’t even think about attempting to get the other party to dump you, either. Though it may be tempting to act aloof in the hopes they’ll save you the trouble and end it themselves, that’s cowardly.

Plus, your bad behavior will make you look like a villain to your mutual friends. Once you’ve decided when to break up, it’s time to formulate how to end things. It’s best that you be brave; talk to your future ex in person. If you absolutely cannot bear to do things face to face, calling over the phone is acceptable. However, breaking up in a text message, during an online chat, or in an email is simply not an option. Your S.O. deserves to hear your voice even if you’re not up to looking them in the eye.

Step Two: Get Your Speech Together

So once you’ve settled on when and how you’ll confront your boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s time to plan what you’ll say. Be honest without being harsh or overly hurtful. Don’t be highly accusatory, but if there were relationship problems, don’t leave them unaddressed. You owe it to your partner to explain what went wrong. They need to know for the benefit of their future relationships, and also so they won’t be left wondering why you dumped them. Just be sure to word things as politely as possible while acknowledging your own short comings, as well.

Step Three: The Actual Break Up

Of course, you can only plan ahead for so much. Once the actual break up begins, it’s hard to say how your boyfriend or girlfriend will react. Maybe they’ve secretly been unhappy, too, and will be relieved and calm. On the other hand, they might be completely shocked and extremely upset. Either way, you need to keep your cool. The calmer you manage to remain, the better you’ll look in the end. Don’t be overly cold, though—showing a little empathy will help.

Allow your partner to say their piece without interruption. Don’t evade their questions, and don’t lie to make yourself look better. Stand firm, too. If you’re truly ready to be out of the relationship, don’t give your ex-in-the-making any false hope for a second chance.

Step Four: The Aftermath

Once the break up is done, take a hiatus from speaking with your now-ex. Give them their space and take your own. Otherwise you’ll just prolong the drama. If you have a lot of mutual friends, you should be the bigger person and opt out of group activities so your ex can attend them. Gestures like that aren’t just fair, but also happen to show others that you’re trying to be as polite as possible about everything.

Remain on your best behavior and don’t trash-talk your ex, otherwise it might get back to him or her. Ultimately, if you handle the break up process calmly and politely, you’ll take a lot of the pain out of it. Not only will you show your ex-mate the courtesy they deserve, but you’ll ensure that your reputation remains unsullied.

5 Romantic Room Decoration Ideas

By leejenkins

Romance is important whether you’re a bachelor or you’re married and your bedroom is the most important place in the home. This is where all the lovemaking happens, and this is where you make up with your partner after a day of not talking to each other. Every culture in the world has a term for a man who was forced to stay out of the bedroom because of some major transgression, or because his wife is too mad at him to spend the night in bed together.

Create Enough Floor Space

A romantic bedroom is not cramped, so you need to free up the floor and clear the clutter. Sometimes, you’re so in the mood that you never reach the bed. Therefore, your bedroom floor must be impeccably maintained all the time. Some giant floor pillows may be parked in the corner for when you’re in the mood to have sex on the floor.

Aromatherapy

Burning aromatherapy oils is one of the easiest ways to set the mood. Go for lilac, sandalwood, ylang-ylang or other tropical scents that remind you of the beach or a mountain resort. Whether you use oils or wax is up to you, but in my opinion, a small burner with enough oil is easier to maintain and snuff out than a few dozen scented candles. A candle-lit room is definitely romantic, but you don’t want to be running around naked and carrying a fire extinguisher if the curtains catch fire.

Heavy Drapes and Thicker Walls

The room you’re doing it in needs to be fortified with thicker walls if you cannot afford to make it soundproof. Choose multi-layer drapes in a color that complements the walls. If your walls are white, go for darker-colored drapes.

Heavy drapes will keep your dirty talk from reaching your neighbors’ ears, which is something that a flimsy set of Venetian blinds can’t do. Someone shouting ‘keep it down, will you’ from across the street can be a real mood killer, especially when you’re so into the lovemaking, which is why you need to protect your intimate moments with drapes.

Slipcovers for the Chaise Lounge

Use durable, waterproof slipcovers for the sofa inside your bedroom. Why? So that you can do it there without worrying about stains. No matter how careful you are, you are likely to leave stains on furniture in the heat of the moment, that’s why it’s better to protect your couch or love seat using slipcovers. It’s embarrassing to have to explain a mean-looking stain to the one doing your upholstery work. Slipcovers are inexpensive and they can help keep your sex spontaneous.

Paint The Ceiling

If you spend a lot of time in bed with your partner, the ceiling can become one of the most familiar sights to you. A good-looking ceiling is something to stare at while you’re in the throes of lovemaking. If your partner is doing all the work for you and you’re lying flat on your back, you cannot help but glance at your bedroom ceiling. If you see some cracks or peeling plaster on the ceiling, your mood sours a little.

Top 6 Valentine’s Day Sex Positions

By loveandsex

Valentine’s Day is all about trying new things, and new sex positions are at the top of the list for a steamy evening that will last long into the night! Try these amazing new sex positions (that’s right, you’ve probably never tried them before) and create a Valentine’s Day that you and your partner will never, ever forget!

Bended Knee

This sex position isn’t difficult to do, but it may require a hard surface such as the floor or a very firm bed. Face your partner while sitting up on your knees. The man will lift one of his knees so that it makes a 90 degree angle and his foot is on the floor. He will be resting most of his weight on his other knee, which is still on the bed or floor. The woman will lift her leg and drape it over her partner’s thigh (the one he lifted up) and both partners will bring their groins together. This amazing sex position allows for face to face contact (which is important on Valentine’s Day) and gives the sensation of standing up without either partner having to hold the other up.

Sit & See

Have the man sit on the edge of a bed or couch with his feet touching the floor. His partner will straddle him while facing him and insert his penis into her vagina. This sounds like a regular sitting position, but the fun part is yet to come (no pun intended). The woman will then lean back, holding on to her partner’s hands to keep her balance. If she has a hard time doing this, she can pull an ottoman or other object over to the bed to lay back on for more support. This amazing sex position is a great Valentine’s Day gift for the man because he is able to completely view her entire body, which is stretched out for him to marvel at and play with.

Reverse Doggy Style

Feeling a bit more like having kinky sex this Valentine’s Day? Try the reverse doggy style position, which is actually better suited for anal sex than vaginal penetration. The woman gets on her hands and knees and lifts her rear in the air, just as though she were getting ready for the regular doggy style sex position. However, instead of facing her, the man will face away from her and lower his penis into her from above. This is one of the more difficult sex positions to achieve, and he may have more luck by facing a little bit to the side rather than directly behind her. He can then use his hands to finger her g-spot or clitoris!

Spooning Blowjob

Valentine’s Day just isn’t fun without a little bit of oral sex involved. For an intense blowjob, have a man lie on his side on the bed. The woman will then lay at a 90 degree angle, placing her head in between his legs. Her legs will be behind him. This will afford the woman a little bit more comfort during the blowjob, as she will be able to rest her head on his thigh as she performs fellatio. This can get a little kinky if both partners are into it – the man can grab his partner’s head and thrust into her mouth as she goes down on him. Don’t be afraid to prop yourself up with pillows to provide more support.

68 – For Her

It’s just as important for her to get oral sex this Valentine’s Day as it is for him. In this titillating sex position, the man can focus totally on her pleasure – and get a little kinky if he wants! The man will lay on his back, as though he were preparing to sixty-nine. The woman will then lie down on top of him with her vagina towards his face. Instead of lying with her stomach touching his stomach like in the traditional sixty-nine position, she will lie with her back to his stomach and the back of her head will be resting in his groin area. This affords him total access to her vagina and clitoris, and if both partners are into analingus, this can easily be done in this position also.

Sybian-Style Cowgirl

Every girl loves the cowgirl position because it gives her more control over her pleasure and orgasm. This particular sex position gives the woman even more control, because she can use her legs more easily to thrust up and down against her partner’s penis. Have your partner lie down with his back on an ottoman and his feet on the floor. The woman will then straddle her partner, with one leg on each side of her partner and her feet on the floor. This is an amazing sex position for g-spot orgasms!

My Man Has A Female Friend. Should I Be Worried?

By dicksinthecity

Cheating has never been on my radar before, but my boyfriend has become pals with another woman. I’m not the jealous type, but there’s clearly an attraction between the two of them. My boyfriend is careful not to cross the line, but I’m not so sure about his new friend. I don’t trust her, or her motives. Help!

What She Said

It’s great that your boyfriend is respecting the boundaries of your relationship – nothing could be more important in this situation. Him taking your feelings about the temptation for cheating into consideration is a key ingredient in navigating this scenario.

Taking Stock Of The Situation

I could get into the particulars: Have you met her? How do you know there’s a shared attraction? Why does he feel the need to be friends with her? That may take all day, so I’ll keep it brief. A lot of women in your situation often choose to befriend the new pal in your partner’s life. Familiarity with each other can diffuse the tension. She might be less likely to make the moves on your boyfriend if she becomes your friend as well. She’ll also see firsthand how much love exists between you and your honey, which should serve as enough notice that she should look elsewhere.

Should You Be Friends With His New Friend?

On the other hand, is it really necessary to invite this person into your life? If they’re coworkers, there’s no way around their connection. If they randomly met somewhere, it might be time to intercede. I’m not a fan of ultimatums, but an honest talk with your boyfriend about how you’re feeling is in order. You do have the right to ask him to let go of his friendship with this girl, though it’s his decision as to what he’ll ultimately choose.

It’s natural, and healthy, to have a variety of friendships outside the relationship. However, the intimacy of shared experiences and communication is a privilege that exits between you and your boyfriend. Trust him and enjoy your connection. Your confidence in yourself is attractive and will serve you well, no matter what may come.

What He Said

I think the main question for me in this situation is – has he done anything to make you suspicious of him cheating or having an affair? If yes, then sure, you are justified in your concern. If he hasn’t done anything to cause alarm, then you really need to ask yourself why you are feeling this way. It could just be mindless paranoia on your part.

Is this a pattern for you? Have you felt this way before? Were you screwed over or cheated on in the past? If so, that could simply be your defense mechanisms firing off so as to protect you from potentially going through that hell again.

Digging A Little Deeper

Here’s the thing about defense mechanisms like this one. They are perfectly valid and serve a valuable purpose – they keep you from getting hurt by someone cheating on you again. But the downside is by pushing away the bad you are also shutting yourself off from the good. Life is risk and if you want to find true love again, you have to accept the fact that you are opening yourself to getting hurt again.

Then again, this may not apply to you. You may in fact be in a relationship with a cheating bastard. Where there is smoke, often there is fire. If that’s the case, then well, it’s a whole other ball game, isn’t it? Only you can prevent forest fires and only you can tell if your man isn’t flying right.

If there’s infidelity, of course you should end it. But you can’t just end it without proof. So go get it, assuming it’s there. The thing about this is you are betting the farm on something and I’m not sure you can win in this scenario. Either you find evidence that he is cheating and you are heartbroken or you go snooping for the cheating evidence that isn’t there and you look like an idiot and your boyfriend might end up leaving you.

Top 3 Ways to Increase Romantic Intimacy

By leejenkins

Romance is an essential part of every relationship. While partners are very intimate during the first few months of relationship, they tend to slowly drift apart over time. The changes are too slight to be noticeable, but soon, you will find yourself wondering why your partner does not act playful around you anymore. Moreover, she may be dodging talks about having sex and comes up with so many excuses when you make it clear that you’re in the mood.

There are several ways to improve your intimacy, so don’t make an appointment with a therapist yet. Married or not, couples need to do something about their situation first before seeking the help of a pro.

Set a Cuddle Time

You girl might feel wary about sudden shows of intimacy, especially if she’s often not in the mood to make love. She might think that you’re just feeling horny, that’s why you’re extra sweet or extra touchy. Women feel pressured to perform, especially if they notice that you just want to do it for your own release, and you don’t seem to care whether or not she gets hers. In a long-term relationship, it gets more and more difficult to set the mood for love making, especially if you and your partner have issues.

What you can do is to be content with just cuddling. Ask her to just cuddle and fall asleep like that together. Doing this a few times will increase intimacy tremendously. Soon, she will start to relax and get rid of the thought that you’re cuddling her so that you can get some that night even if she isn’t in the mood. Soon, she will start to want it whenever you’re acting romantic.

If you cannot help but feel the urge while you’re cuddling, you can wedge a small pillow between your legs so that you’re not inadvertently poking her and destroying the mood in the process.

Be Sexually Honest

Sexual honesty means telling your partner that her technique is not bringing you closer to orgasm, but gently. Instead of doing a full critique of her blowjob technique, guide her hand or give her instructions then reward her with moans.

While it is in bad form to constantly ask your partner if what you’re doing feels good, you must listen to what her body is telling you. Don’t get caught up in the act and simply assuming that everything you do feels good.

Buy Each Other Underwear

One definitive proof that you’re intimate is if you give each other underwear. Say you passed by a nice shop and saw a good bikini-style undergarment that you think she will like. Encourage her to choose an intimate apparel for you when she asks you what you want for Christmas. Besides the fact that she’s likely to wear your gift and show you, the thought that you were picturing how she would look in it while you’re in the lingerie shop is sexy.

These tips are just hints on what intimate activities you can do together to improve your relationship. Intimacy is the foundation of a long-term love affair, so make sure you have a lot of it in your relationship.