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Oral Sex: Why YOU Need To Think About Safer Fellatio!

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Oral sex isn’t as risky as intercourse when it comes to STD’s, but there is still plenty of risk involved. There’s even more risk involved if you swallow your partner’s semen. Here’s the reason YOU need to think about safer fellatio!

Safer Oral Sex

This is a question with a simple enough answer – or maybe not. Safer oral sex practices depend on the type of sexually transmitted disease that you’re trying to prevent against. If you’re trying to prevent them all, you might as well just go and get a trash bag to cover your partner’s penis and his entire genital area. This is why it is so, so important to have regular exams and STD testing if you and your partner are not monogamous or if you plan to be monogamous, just one STD test before hooking up.

Condoms Are Essential!

If you’d like to practice safer oral sex and don’t enjoy the trash bag idea, you can still protect yourself from many of the other sexually transmitted diseases by using condoms. Condoms will not protect you against genital herpes or the human papillomavirus, however they are so much safer than unprotected oral sex. If you’re fairly concerned about herpes or genital warts, you can combine a condom with plastic wrap (easily found at your local grocery store) to protect your hands and face from coming into contact with skin in your partner’s genital area.

What Kind Of Condoms To Use

The best condoms for fellatio are either the non-lubricated kind or the kind with flavored, edible lubricants. If you try to perform fellatio on a partner wearing a regular, lubricated condom (especially if it is lubricated with spermicide) you are going to be sorry! If you or your partner have a latex allergy, polyurethane condoms are available and can actually be much more useful during fellatio than regular condoms because they tend to be thinner. However, the flavored condoms (which usually come in their corresponding colors) add a bit of fun to a fellatio session while still protecting you and your partner against sexually transmitted diseases that can be contracted through fellatio.

Think About Gloves Too

Condoms are not the only safer-sex tool that you should have on hand if you’re planning on a great (and safer!) fellatio session. Many guys enjoy hand action in addition to oral when receiving fellatio and to be perfectly honest – if infected semen comes into contact with your hands and you happen to have a small cut or abrasion (such as a paper cut) on your skin, you are at a high risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Latex or polyurethane gloves can be your best friend during a fellatio session! These are also great if you are planning to touch your partner’s anus and all and it even keeps long or untrimmed nails and hangnails from scratching your partner and making him uncomfortable.

Don’t Brush It Under The Rug

Sure, insisting on condoms or even gloves during oral sex might make you feel like you’re “ruining the mood,” and it may even make your partner look at you like you’ve lost your mind. That is, however, better than the nurse at the health clinic looking at you like she’s about to tell you that you have HIV.

Oral Sex Positions That Will Make Her Quiver

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Oral sex positions can make a regular cunnilingus session turn into a leg shaking, world-rocking one. Here’s a few oral sex positions to use to turn the heat up!

The best oral sex positions are ones that both you and your partner love. The following positions are offered to give you more ideas and inspiration, with the added bonus that some offer relief of neck, shoulder and jaw pain and others may heighten sexual pleasure in one or both of you.

The Standard

This is the one that most people use and for good reason is one that is familiar: woman on her back, partner in between her legs.

Her Body Positioning

The woman should lie flat on her back with her knees spread apart and bent, with her feet on a solid surface. It’s easier if her feet are closer together than her knees are, because then she can push against whatever she’s lying on to increase pressure and control how much stimulation she receives, but it’s not possible to do this all the time, so don’t worry about it too much when first starting out.

Make sure that her back is flat as well, so that the small of her back is against the floor, bed, or whatever she’s lying on. Contrary to many adult films, an arched back only looks good but it doesn’t help her get any closer to an actual orgasm. With some of the oral sex techniques mentioned, you’ll want to have one of your hands along the small of her back to make sure that she’s pushing against it slightly, thus tilting her pubic region in your general direction. If she’s having problems getting her back flat and flush, prop her head and chest up with some pillows, place one hand on her Mons Pubis and one on the small of her back, and gently push her pelvis down into your lower hand. This should be a comfortable position for her, especially when she’s relaxed.

If you find that your neck gets tired during oral sex, you can prop up her buttocks only (not her lower back) so that her pelvis is tilted even further forward, bringing her vulva closer and at a better angle for you to get to work. It may also be easier if she is on a bed, towards the edge, and you are kneeling on the floor.

Leg Over The Shoulder

Pretty much as it sounds, the woman is flat on her back like The Standard, but puts one or both of her legs over her partner’s shoulders. In this position, a woman has a lot of leverage and can control how much stimulation she receives. Plus, it opens up the entire pelvic area to someone who is trying to access all the wonderful parts held within, so it’s perfect when you want a better look at what’s going on. Finally, women seem to really love this oral sex position to feel even more connected to their partners; therefore this is an excellent choice if she’s complaining of feeling distant, disconnected or floating on her own during the process.

Intertwined, Man On Top

To get into this position, have the woman lie on her back with her partner next to her. His head should be around her hip area, and his legs pointing in the direction of her head. Then, he takes his arm closest to her, and sticks it between her legs with his head following right after. Get her to wrap her leg around his shoulders so that her ankle touches his back and her knee is just shy of his elbow. If done correctly, both partners will be on their sides slightly, and he’ll have a fantastic view of her entire vagina, with easy hand access to her Perineum, Anus and Vaginal Opening.

Sixty Nine

Sixty-nine is the position where one partner is on top of the other, and each has their head near the other’s genitals. The problem with this position is that it’s unlikely she’ll be able to reach your penis to pleasure you, unless you both are exactly the same height or have the same leg length. Plus, most women are unable to relax in this position, which is necessary to bring one to orgasm.

If the guy is on top, it makes things a bit easier for him but then she has to carry his weight along her body, and it makes giving him head more of a forced event than anything else. If she’s on top, where your hands and arms go is infinitely easier but then getting to her sweet spot is difficult. Therefore, sixty-nine can be a lot of fun, but it’s more a novelty position than one to be used to get her off.

Side By Side

The same as sixty-nine, just rolled over so that you are on your sides instead. Side by side has the same issues that sixty-nine does, although it is a bit easier to get to one another if you both put one knee up in the air and bend at the waist to ensure good positioning around their genitals.

Side by Side also allows for more relaxing, especially for those with neck problems, just make sure to use extra lubricant because this is one position where all the air flow can dry things out too much to make the experience fun and sensual.

Woman Standing

In Woman Standing, the female is standing upright and their partner is squatting or sitting down so that their face is right next to the woman’s vulva. She can sometimes be propped up against the wall using the partner’s shoulders, or have one knee on a chair both of which provide extra maneuvering room.

This is a sexually charged position, and for many it is one that they can’t do without. Having said that, it’s a difficult one for the woman to feel confident enough to let go while standing up, and thus, is probably one best used early on in a cunnilingus session.

Doggy

Take normal Doggy style, come up behind the woman and lick her – that’s how you perform this oral sex position.

There are a number of fans of this position, and for good reason. It’s excellent for analingus (mouth touching Anus), it lends a bit of animalistic pleasure to the event, and it shows off a very attractive angle of a woman’s anatomy. Having said that, the Vaginal Opening and Clitoris are almost impossible to reach in this position, there’s no way to perform many of the hand movements required, and it’s an unnatural angle for even the most flexible of oral connoisseurs.

Supported Doggy

Supported Doggy is exactly the same as Doggy, but the woman has pillows under her hips to prop her up. In this position, it’s much easier for the woman to relax and reach orgasm, and it doesn’t take much to gain access to most of her vulva if she merely tilts her hips back and puts her head right down as far as she can. Supported Doggy is also great for the woman’s partner, as he too can use the pillows to prop himself up. Plus, it allows for a fuller range of motion for both parties. However, it may seem too distancing for some women, as they cannot see their partner during the act or you, them.

Oral Sex – Safety First (And How To Talk To Your Partner About It)

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Oral sex is commonly engaged in without thought to safety – but you should take precautions. Here’s how to have safer oral sex, and how to bring it up.

Why You Need To Consider Safer Oral Sex

It’s relatively common for people, especially with younger couples, to engage in oral sex without talking about safety first. As the Guide to HIV at About.com reports in an article called: The Risk of Oral Sex, many believe that oral sex is a low-risk activity because of its inability to get someone pregnant. Unfortunately STD’s are still a concern, even if they aren’t as prevalent as with penis-vagina intercourse.

Oral sex also increases the risk of other STDs, such as Herpes, Human Papillomavirus (HPV), Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Hepatitis C. These nasty bugs are transmitted by saliva, skin-to-skin contact, genital lubrication, and/or ejaculate, and can then be passed along to someone else via more oral sex, kissing, or other forms of skin-to-skin contact.

Barrier Methods

You may be familiar already with dental dams; they are what dentists use to keep any bits and pieces during a root canal or other mouth surgery from falling down your throat. These simple pieces of latex are slowly becoming well known in lesbian and bisexual circles, and men are now following suit.

Most, but not all dental dams are made out of latex. They stretch and are flexible, but hold their shape and are much firmer than say, Saran Wrap. They are square and come in several different colors, translucency and tastes. Almost all of them are powdered, and it isn’t terribly difficult to find ones that are flavored, scented, or both.

If the taste or smell of an cunnilingus encounter isn’t your favorite part of the occasion, dental dams are a very welcome addition to your arsenal. The only issue with them however is that latex takes a bit of getting used to in the taste department as well, so it’s highly recommended that with your first few attempts, you purchase a package that offers a variety of flavors or scents to get you through those first few moments of uncertainty.

Latex Allergies

For those with allergies to latex, there are a few options to consider. The easiest is to buy some Saran Wrap that isn’t made to be used in the microwave; there are extra additives in the special stuff that isn’t vagina-friendly. A step up from Saran Wrap (which can be difficult to keep in place) is to buy some non-latex condoms, like polyurethane condoms, and then cut a slit up one side of them to make it into a longer, flatter piece.

What A Dental Dam Feels Like

‘Feeling’ a woman while using a dental dam takes a bit of getting used to – just like using a condom. You won’t feel the squishiness of your partner’s excitement, and it’ll be more difficult to tell how she’s reacting to your hard work. Getting your tongue in the right place can also be trickier, because you’re having to feel her with your tongue through the barrier. Yes, these are definite drawbacks, but no more so than using a condom – and as already discussed, their drawbacks are more than worth the knowledge that you’re having protected sex.

Getting The Dental Dam Ready To Use

Choose the side that you want to lick and the side that you want pressed up against your partner. Dab some lube on the side that is going on your partner – it will feel MUCH better to her. Also, make sure to keep the same side on her each time, or else you’ve defeated the purpose of using a dental dam. If you can’t remember which side you were licking, discard it and grab another one. An easy way to ensure you don’t get mixed up in the heat of the moment is to take a magic marker prior to your sexual encounter, and write on one side, “Lick here!”

Broaching The Subject

Never used a dental dam? That okay. Most women haven’t either. That doesn’t mean she’ll be adverse to using one though she’ll just need a bit of information is all, so she knows what you’re up to, and why. Learn as much as you can before, so that when you do whip one out, you can easily answer all of her questions and alleviate her fears of the unknown.

Do however make a point of letting your partner know that you plan on using a dental dam, especially if it’s the first time that you’re together intimately. Worst case scenario? You don’t tell her and she stops the whole flow of the moment with a, “What on earth is that?!” or something even more jarring, and you’re left crouched between her legs looking sheepish and trying to explain yourself. Trust me: if you take a bit of time to explain what a dental is, and why you’re using one, you’ll save yourself tons of embarrassment and heartache, and might even earn a few brownie points for ensuring you’re both safe sexually.

How To Use a Dental Dam

Let’s first begin with keeping the slip of latex in place. There are only three ways: you hold it, your partner holds it, or you use something to hold it in place. Of the three, having something else hold it in place is by far the most desirable. In the throes of orgasm she’ll struggle with keeping it in place, and you’ll want the extra hand for other activities as we move through this process.

Therefore, when purchasing dental dams, look for the ones that have an adhesive tip along the top, so that it sticks to wherever you put it in this case, along the top of her Mons Pubis. If the woman you are giving oral sex to is clean shaven however, you can use double sided tape or spirit gum instead, just make sure that you don’t get any near her vulva or vagina.

When first using a dental dam on your partner, try and do what you’d normally do without one. See how she reacts, and if she asks for more or less stimulation. Check her sexual response as well, and if she’s not getting aroused as you’d expect, increase the pressure to her clitoris or add a bit more lube to see if that makes a difference.

Blowjob Tips For Guys – Do You Put Your Hands On Her Head Or Not?

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Blowjob tips aren’t always for the ladies. Men – should you be putting your hands on your partner’s head while she’s going down on you or not?

Holding Her The Right Way

Believe it or not, this can be a big issue for both women and men when it comes to fellatio. It is important to discuss this aspect of fellatio with your partner before embarking on a fellatio session both partners will know what to expect. Remember guys, every woman is different and it is important to know what your partner prefers during fellatio – having hands on her neck while she is going down on you might make her uncomfortable and may even gag or choke her.

Make sure you know what she prefers and also keep in mind that her mood may change and one night she may be feeling particularly turned on and like the sensation of her face and mouth being guided or pushed down on your penis and another night she may be completely turned off or even repulsed by the idea.

Communicate Beforehand!

This is why it is so important to talk to your partner about this before each oral sex session! If talking about this particular aspect of fellatio before the session seems like a killjoy or ruins the spontaneity of fellatio, you and your partner may want to decide on some kind of hand signal or the like for your partner to let you know whether it is okay for your hands to be on her like that or if she dislikes the feeling at that particular moment.

A Secret “Signal”

One of the best blowjob tips to help you handle the “hands on the head” situation because a woman’s mood may change at any given moment during fellatio and if she is okay with your hands being on her neck at first but wants you to remove them later; she can do so without breaking her rhythm.

This is also great if a man begins to push her down on his penis a little too roughly – which can happen in the heat of the moment. A hand signal gives a woman the option to let her partner know if he is restricting her breathing, going too hard or gagging her. Many women will just take their partner’s hands off of them and some will even put them on if they are feeling that this would turn them on.

Similarly, a man may come up with his own hand signal or the like to let his partner know if he would like to do this. Something such as stroking her hair or neck may let her know that he is feeling like putting his hands on her head would turn him on at that particular moment. Just discuss what the “hand signal” will be before the fellatio session so that she will know what that particular movement means.

One of the most important blowjob tips is to never do anything you haven’t asked about beforehand. So this is almost like an unspoken question and your partner will appreciate you “asking” her if it is okay to do it. If the idea of a hand signal to let her know you’d like to put your hands on her head doesn’t do it for you, you can always just ask! No matter what you do, just go with the flow and make sure to communicate with your partner!

Why Some Women Don’t Want You To Control Their Movements

Well, as we said earlier, a man that puts his hands on a woman’s head and either unknowingly or knowingly pushes her down on his penis too hard or too roughly can easily cause a woman discomfort (both physically and emotionally) and even though you may like deep throating, this may gag or choke her or restrict her breathing.  Although this is one of the blowjob tips to avoid, it generally is not dangerous if this happens – a woman will usually just discontinue performing fellatio if she begins to gag, choke or feel uncomfortable but it is important that you preempt any discomfort she may or may not have by being careful when putting your hands on her head.

Disrupting The Rhythm

Many women do not like having a man’s hands on them like this during fellatio because it disrupts their “rhythm” or their “flow.”  They’ve read plenty of blowjob tips and can definitely get the job done and done well. A woman that is skilled in fellatio will most certainly develop her own way of doing things (somewhat like a routine) and will not appreciate you disrupting that! If this is the case, just sit back and enjoy the ride to orgasm – if she’s good enough not to need your hands on her head to guide her to please you, then you certainly are in for a treat! On the other hand, some women enjoy having a partner’s hands on her head – it may make her feel like his “guiding” her makes her efforts in pleasing him during fellatio more accurate. Either way, it is really up to the woman as to what she prefers while she is performing fellatio.

(For The Ladies) Why He Likes It

A man will often want to put his hands in a woman’s hair so that he can enjoy the feel of it’s softness and then pull it back a little so that he has the added visual stimulation of the best view of her lips wrapped around his penis, not just a mass of hair blocking his sight. Tussled hair is very sexy and being willing to let him get his hands wrapped up in it shows that little “naughty” side in the bedroom and your willingness to get wild with him when the two of you are alone.

Ladies, a clear way for you to let him know you want his hands on your head is for you to take his hands and put them there. He’ll appreciate the eagerness you are showing in letting him know it’s okay for him to engage his hands on your head and in your hair and be an even bigger part of the blowjob.

Lube – The Lowdown On Why You Need It And What To Get

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Lube is essential for sex to be really great – no matter what you might have heard before. Here’s what to get and why.

Why Lube?

Sexual lubricants add a lot to the lovemaking process. Depending on their function, timing, and use, they can help a woman achieve orgasm faster, make sex feel better, and alleviate uncomfortable aftereffects (like chafing or burning). Sure, your own spit works just fine it’s free, always available, and works. But it only works for a short time, and sometimes you want a lubricant that will last a bit longer, taste somewhat different, or serve another function that will heighten the sexual pleasure for both of you.

Factors That Decrease Lubrication

There are some factors that will add or decrease from a woman’s natural lubricant, such as:

  • Age: Plays an important part of the lubrication process. As a woman gets older, she stops producing as much natural lubrication because of hormonal fluctuations.
  • Having Kids: It’s common for a woman to have extra moisture when she’s pregnant, and less when she’s breastfeeding. Blame it on the hormones again.
  • Drugs: A large number of drugs (both prescribed and otherwise) play with a woman’s wetness. Any medication that warns of dry mouth, antidepressants, cold medicines and alcohol all contribute to lower lubrication.
  • Stress and Travel: Stress reduces anyone’s sexy feelings, but travel could go either way. Some folks use traveling as a way to relax and enjoy some space away from home, but those who travel for work, for instance, may see it as a chore or necessity. Some women who fly a lot have even coined a term called ‘lube lag’, where they find their natural lubrication severely reduced because of their lengthy travel times.
  • Condoms and Dental Dams: Even though lubricated themselves, condoms have a tendency to dry a woman out, so make sure to have extra lubricant on hand when playing with either.
  • Menstrual Cycle: It goes without saying that during a woman’s cycle, the amount of lubrication available to her is going to differ. However, you’ll notice that, for some women, the middle of the month (around ovulation) is when she’ll be the wettest, only secondary to when she’s actually menstruating.
  • Extended Sex Sessions: If you’ve ever had a marathon oral sex session, you’ll be nodding your head as you read this. Not only will you feel raw and dry after about 30 minutes of stimulation, but she’ll be walking a bit funny the next day because of the lack of wetness.

Different Types Of Lube

There are different types of lube to look out for when going shopping. Look for these:

  • Water Based: Most lubricants on the market today are water based, such as the infamous KY Jelly. This type of lubricant is most people’s favorite because it doesn’t stain and can be used anywhere on the body even ingested in small amounts so there’s little worry when going down on a woman. Having said that, even the best water-based lubricants dry out with extended use, and some folks have developed allergies to them.
  • Oil Based: Oil based lubes are fantastic for anal play, because they last forever and warm to the touch. They are also lovely for body massage. The only caveats with oil-based lubricants is that they make things so slippery that condoms and dental dams can slide right off, as well as if you’re using latex based products, the oil in the lube will break the latex down.
  • Petroleum Based: These lubes, such as Vaseline or baby oil, are also great for anal play, but they will degrade condoms or dental dams and can potentially cause infections in a woman’s vagina so most people avoid these lubricants.
  • Silicone Based: It isn’t as easy to find silicone lubricants as the others, although most sex shops do carry them. They have a silky, soft feel to them and last longer than all of the other types other than oil-based. They are safe to use on all parts of the body and will not stain. However, make sure to test silicone lubricants before using them internally, as more than a few people have allergies.

Whichever lubricants you decide on with your partner, just remember to not squirt it directly on your partner. Instead, put the lubricant in your hands, rub them together a bit, and warm it before putting it wherever it is you’d like to get slippery.